Virtuous Animal Trainer

I am newly single and no longer obsessed with my exes. I also DO NOT HAVE a situationship with my best friend. I am very confident and getting in my bag as an exotic animal trainer in the circus. Please respect my space and I'll be respectful to you 💋💋

[maria-the-virtuous]

Salve!

My name is Maria, daughter of Gaius Marius. I am 17 years old. Please don't ask me about my brother or my asshole cousion because they both died violent deaths.

I made this account because my father was planning to marry me to a plebeian gladiator. I refused, and for that the Gods killed my father. Go figure. I am still looking for an honorable patrician suitor if my job at the circus doesn't pan out. So please message me if YOU ARE NOT A CAESAR APOLOGIST or a SENATOR and especially message my if you are part of the college of Pontiffs thank you.

I like to work on my loom, preserve my virtuousness, foster my seed, and braid my hair.

Pedro Pascal owns my heart ❤️

DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME IF YOU ARE:

A plebian / Greek / Know my cousin / Unvirtuous / Dishonorable / a senator / Marvel Rivals player / Carthaginian / Germanic / Male (unless you are a suitor or doctor or Pedro Pascal or other man I worship) / Spartan (I cannot be tempted) / loom destoryer / feminists (it makes the gods angry) / sociologists / psychologists / meteorologists / orangutangs / philosophers / mathematicians / historians / scientists / astroglogers / Sabrina Carpenter / @recoverysoulspost / @freyasfatale / unbalanced humors

PLEASE INTERACT IF YOU ARE:

A patrician / Vestal Virgin / member of the pontifices / Roman / political assassin / virtuous / honorable / musician / artist / high ranking military officials who hate my cousin / funny / know where this Pedro Pascal Fandom place is / fanfiction writer / pure of heart

If you meet any of the criteria above please message me immediately so I may inform my father of our marriage thank you

[egypt-museum]

Portraits of the guest's at the funeral banquet

May, Master of the King's horses, and his wife Urnure a Priestess of Mut at Karnak.

New Kingdom, 18th Dynasty, ca. 1411-1375 BC. Tomb of Ramose (TT55). Sheikh Abd el-Qurna, Thebes.

[maria-the-virtuous]

I have never said this to anybody . My aunt was killed in a ghost hunt by the nefarious Obambo

[somethingtocallmine]

You're allowed to move on.

[maria-the-virtuous]

It took me so long to get over Pietro, his bald spot on top of his head, the way his bangs would stick to his glistening sweaty forehead when he extinguished the lights outside the pontifices, the way he would look at me when he said "aren't you the senator's girl? you're fucking weird." He had me at "Aren't you the Girl" 💗 I'm done with him because I have my very best platonic friend Lydia and we only coitus sometimes. only sometimes. only sometimes.

[maria-the-virtuous]

Does no one here give a fuck about 6 7

[maria-the-virtuous]

Salve!

I'm learning Latin. Any tips to learn faster?

SALVE! 💋

There are so many diverse ways you could learn Latin faster:

Anger a bull and have it chase after you: your mentor can only release you from the bull's anger once you've translated Buttons by the Pussycat Dolls in latin

Ask Mercury to grant you instant Latin mastery in your dreams

Send TERFs hate messages in Latin (captive audience that never ends)

Fall in love with a beautifil Roman maiden who can be your private Latin mentor . You will be motivated by love and devotion

Turn your Baldur's Gate 3 language settings to "Latin" and put the subtitles in your native language

Hopefully that helps!

Maria💋💋

[maria-the-virtuous]

hello from Roma

[maria-the-virtuous]

How can you have llamas when they live in South America??

We flew them over via golden eagle

[somethingtocallmine]

[maria-the-virtuous]

this is so true. the other wekk i was growing some wheat to feed my tigers and llamas (michael jackson died moths ago but iphone is more powerful than ever)(has many muscles) and they grew taller than any of my friends, who are notherners so it's very shocking. one of the stalks of wheat was picked up by lydia and she helfd it next to her body and it was incredible, at least 3x her size. I subsequently ground up the whole stalk and it made enough flour to feed not only my tiger (Marx) and my llama (iphone) but also the entire circus, who was very grateful because we were starving and subsisting primarily off the circus animals (we ate michael jackson)

[maria-the-virtuous]

6 7

[maria-the-virtuous]

livia and I have recently acquired two new llamas. Their names are iPhone and Michael Jackson

[maria-the-virtuous]

so glad to hear about your journey and freedom!! this is wonderful news. i hope you have a lovely pride month June <3 😇

Thank you the chimpansees say hhello 🌸💋💋

[somethingtocallmine]

[maria-the-virtuous]

two weeks. 12,000 words later (in my jounral). i am free! It has been a long jouunrey to get to this point metaphysically but I have finally made it. I have decided that I wll make myself a vestal and be the most virtuous of them all, literally fuck every single other person on the planet because i am the most important. and, well, livia is too, and I guess out oranguagtang, giraffe, 2 bears, dog, 4 cockatiels, anaconda snake, and 5 horses. come to think of it, we used to have 6 horses so i am not really sure what happened to the other one. anyway, two weeks and 12,100 words later i am out on the road.

u may be wondering, what happened to my fuckass husband smellius manius? well to sum it up he was a dirty dick pervert and when my venus fly trap got big enough (i clenched my virtue over the plant to excrete virginal magicks onto the dirt that allowed the fly trap to grow ever larger and stronger... thanks to my virtue) he tripped and fell into it after livia pushed him into it and then was absorbed by the venomous juices that come out opf the venus flytrap. after that terrible experience (don't wanna go into detail i just wanna forget about that dirty dick pervert) livia and i ESCAPED north to her uncle's circus and WOW northerns are WEIRD!

anyways im learning new languages and identifying different plants that i won't use for poisonous purposes. i am also learning how to train exotic animals like livia, apparently it's part of a long family tradition (did you guys know livia is a northern too?) i feel a little out of place as a southern but everyone has been very kind to me so far. OH I ALMOST FORGOT OT MENTION, PIETRO AND HIS SISTER ARE HERE TOO! they escaped rome and went north and were accepted into the circus. they mainly pick up elephant shit.

XX

[maria-the-virtuous]

My venus fly trap has finally arrived!!! Time to plant it and wait for the perfect moment to walk past is with Smelius......

[maria-the-virtuous]

congratulations on your wedding! or sorry that happened

It's okay it'll be over soon!

[maria-the-virtuous]

Smelius and I are officially married. In attendance was Livia as my handmaiden, her rats Durkheim, Marx, and Weber, the exotic animals Livia has been training (chimps, bears, ostriches, snakes, and Carthaginians), nearly Smelius's 50 slaves, his family, and Vesta (in my heart)

[somethingtocallmine]

[maria-the-virtuous]

In a few hours I will officially be Smelius's wife. I thought I would be more excited about marrying a capable patrician, but sadly I am not. However I have been praying to Vesta in between my chores and working on my writing in my free time 😛 I have been trying to come up with what my special talent is for the circus when Livia and I escape, and I think I want to learn how to train exotic animals too! I have been inspired by all my oranguatangs that have passed away or run away. I ask myself, how could I have prevented my orhanutangs escaping from my care? Could I have been more virtuous? Should I have fed them more consistently? Livia has been giving me tips and tricks and designing costumes for us, I am looking forward to being part of an animal-training duo!