Maria Is Also My Name

Poetry, hand written and illustrated

[mariaisalsomyname]

From the Train c. 2012

Kofi if you feel like it

Oh love I am on a train and the earth and the clouds move slowly past the still horizon which holds your home where you are not and nor am I

My love so far away and I so weary-footed wandering we have so little we can hold and keep as ours

My home is in my head where I am with you still unfettered yet unwilling to escape the warm stillness of the empty marital bed

Oh love so far away where I cannot reach but I'll rest my mind on your home for as long as I have none

[mariaisalsomyname]

Metastatic c. 2015

(currently relevant because ow)

Kofi if you feel like it

Full text under cut:

I've come to dislike writing about writing

What I have done to break writers' block

Now reads to me as failure

I realize this is crippling

And - almost - voluntary

It's letting the noise swallow me

When I can't articulate my thoughts

They are so many

And they rock me to disorientation

There are phrases insufficient on their own

left to percolate

and finally silenced for never meeting the page

My mind echoes with half-thoughts

With anxieties and momentary ecstacies

And my teeth ache and they drop away

(the thoughts)

(and the teeth.)

(it happens.)

I'm losing parts of myself from the record.

[mariaisalsomyname]

Forsworn c. circa 2008

not illustrated because how?

Full text under cut:

Oh, what a muse you are

my forsworn love

The tales, the ballads I could spin

From these vows you spoke in heart

But not a part of which

You did not throw away.

[mariaisalsomyname]

Beauty Spot c.2009

Kofi here

Full text under cut:

I went searching for the unknown

In a dark, dark place

The truth shone from the rocks

And burned my face

Now I bear upon my cheek

A tiny, rough brand

It hurts only a little

When I touch it with my hand

I am not always ready

To reach the truth, unharmed

But I touch this "beauty spot"

And my heart is warmed.

[mariaisalsomyname]

Stretchy Death c.2009

a.k.a. my favorite title ever

Kofi here

Full text under cut:

I can picture myself in front of your door

Head in my hands, with my heart in yours

And trying to find the words to be said

Please, please don't you see?

This girl still is me.

And if you must keep that thing that was mine

Since you cannot let go if it wants to remain

Will you just keep it warm, and keep it safe from harm?

Please, please don't you see?

I'm still me.

I can picture myself still in front of that door

For hours on end, the same place as before

Still trying to say what I don't wish to mean.

Please please, will you be

a bit kinder to me?

For the end of the day may just send me away

But my heart in your hands still pulls on me.

[mariaisalsomyname]

The Craftsman c.2010

Click on image for full resolution

Kofi here

Full text under cut:

They gave me a needle and thread

and said

"Do what you can for him."

They gave me a needle and thread

and said

"Do what you must for him."

His soul in my hands

His heart bound in bands of iron

I earn my crown as the best in the town

With wire and fire

To mend all his shattered wits

And all the tattered bits

Torn into shreds by desire

They gave me a needle and thread

and said

"Do what you do for him

Do what you can for him

Do what you do what you can."

[mariaisalsomyname]

Black Flecks c.2009

(you can buy me a coffee if you like. *smiles)

Full text under cut

My favorite jade bowl is a gorgeous light green

   positively spotted, like a leopard's skin

   It is thin,

   translucent to the point that it seems to glow

But what makes the glow truly brilliant is the flaws.

Black spots

Making the light seem almost holy.

We sup the flavors together

salt with sour like my friends would eat lemons

bitter with sweet like chocolate

I see the darkness

To gaze with awe at the light.

[mariaisalsomyname]

Sunlight c.2016

Click on image for full resolution.

You can buy me a coffee if you want. =)

Full text under cut:

Half-waking after a night of broken sleep,

Too broken or too exhausted for fever dreams,

Hazy and half seen

Like an image on the other side of a pinhole

Parallel lines flicking past my sight

Possibly power lines

Vague mounds of grey and white

maybe clouds

And then the Sun

Suddenly in the center of view

Pinhole darkness still around the edges

Waxing and waning with the white

Sun shining in my eyes

Clearing away the fuzz in my head

Sun shining through the edge of sleep

Drawing me to waking

    reluctantly

In my life, this is the first time

    In my dreams, I have seen the Sun

        In my dreams, the Sun shone.