A wee missing moment from 06x06 "World Turned Upside Down"
He kept holding my hand for a long time, long after we'd stopped talking.
I felt absurdly happy that Jamie still found me to be beautiful - my leaner frame and shorter hair notwithstanding. Somehow it didn't matter that he was my husband of more than thirty years - a husband who, not too many months ago, had ordered more than a dozen men killed on my behalf - a husband for whom I'd borne two daughters.
As a woman, I wanted so desperately to be beautiful for him.
I'd closed my eyes - and I know he did, too, though he stayed close to me on the pillow.
"Sassenach?" he muttered, voice just above a whisper.
"Mm?" I snuggled closer. He let go of my hand and drew closer to me, fingers gently tracing along the open neck of my shift.
"What if I had agreed to come into your room, all those years ago, when we were collecting the rents?"
I smiled - thinking of the candlestick I'd grabbed so desperately to ward off invaders. Knowing now just how unprepared I would have truly been to defend myself.
"I wouldn't have welcomed you onto the bed."
He snorted. "I should hope not. I'd have slept on the floor, then. Between your bed and the door."
"So that anyone who came through the door, would have to come through you first."
I opened my eyes to see him smiling at me. Softly I traced the arches of his eyebrows.
"Aye. I could barely sleep that night, even though I was outside your door - for the blanket you gave me smelled of you." He kissed my forehead. "So, truth be told, there was no way I could ever have been able to sleep, had I been so close to you. It didnae matter that we had slept close together before - that was wi' other people around."
"So you would have stayed up all night?"
"Most likely. Watching you sleep." His thumb traced the slow, steady pulse in my neck. "I enjoyed doing it while we were on the road. I still do. I've never tired of it."
"And even if you had intended to...to romance me, Sassenach - "
"I had no such intentions!" I protested.
His smile was so beautiful in the moonlight. "Weel - I did promise ye honesty. And I'll be honest in saying that even if you'd invited me to your bed, I wouldn't have even kent what to do or where to start."
I moved a bit closer. Kissed him.
"You were a fast learner."
His lips parted, and his breath quickened.
"Aye," he breathed into my mouth. "I had a verra patient teacher."
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