Draft from August 28, 2021, and everything still true with Susan. Now I’m partnered and my partner loves Susan too:
I want to write about something I’m especially thoughtful of lately. Last week, A had an assignment to make a poster of her life - her family, hobbies, favorites, etc. Wednesday night, my ex Susan and I sat with Aydrah and helped make her poster.
For those who may be new to my journal, Susan and I started dating Spring 2017 when A was 7-8 months old. Before Susan came into our lives, I was living as a single mom. In fact, I conceived A as a single mom by choice when I worked for an oil and gas company that had these Cadillac medical benefits. We all moved in together as a family 13 months after we started dating, had a wonderful (though unfulfilling at times) relationship, and even almost became engaged! 😮 Instead, after months of reflection and soul searching, I decided to leave the relationship late July 2020, and A and I have lived on our own again since.
Susan is a big part of A’s life. When I moved in with Susan, we made the decision that if it didn’t work out, we would all remain friends. We lived together for two years. Susan helped tremendously as I battled post partum anxiety, debilitating migraines, and shifts in work/life balance. When we broke up, it was amicable, and we agreed Susan would remain Mom #2.
We never combined finances, she doesn’t contribute financially to A’s education or expenses - I don’t ask. She does help pay for clothes, dance, and gymnastics. I know if we ever were in a rough spot, she’d be there.
Her family is really nice. Regular everyday people, strong values, and they always go the extra mile to make A and I feel included at holidays and family gatherings. Her mom wasn’t crazy about the gay, but out of love for Susan, loved A and I. Considers A her granddaughter. Now that Susan and I are no longer together, they consistently prove that their love for A is unwavering.
Without them, A’s local family would be just me and my 82 year old mom. So we are very, very thankful.
A while back, I chose to cancel A’s 5th bday party at an indoor playground (it was tentative anyways) because of another wave of Covid. Susan’s family then threw her a Unicorn party with just them (Susan’s mom, two sisters, brother in law, and neice). They spent hours decorating, ordered these decadent bakery unicorn cupcakes, and had a heap of presents for her. Way more than what my mom is able to do.
I’ve had time over this last year to process many things regarding Susan and I’s failed relationship. And I see 100% it was absolutely meant to be just as it is now. I can’t imagine raising Aydrah with just me and my mom, no other family around. How scary! (My brother and his family live about 10 hours away) I know Susan was meant to be in A’s life and A helped me choose her. In fact, I met Susan for the first time at Aydrah’s baby shower - she was Godfather Sean’s plus one because his husband (Godfather Mitch) had just had surgery. We didn’t start talking until 9 months later, but isn’t that something!
Below is Aydrah with her poster:














