Standing Matchmaker

[matchmaker-anon-standing]

I create crack ships (with everyone involveds approval)

Proper intro post... Later

[slash-standing]

hey asking for a friend what's your type?

@matchmaker-anon-standing

Me Slash not really care. Me Slash just want girlfriend.

[matchmaker-anon-standing]

Hm, I see, I see...

let's start simple, yeah?

is height a factor? Shorter or taller?

[slash-standing]

Me Slash just want girlfriend. Height is irrelevant. Me guess if have to pick one taller better.

[matchmaker-anon-standing]

taller is better ok...

hmmmmm

personality? Boastful or reserved?

oh also what's your favorite color?

[slash-standing]

Me Slash not reserved so maybe nice contrast if girlfriend is.

[matchmaker-anon-standing]

hmmm

and her paint? Or is that dealers choice?

[slash-standing]

Me Slash not care. Me do like yellow and red though.

[matchmaker-anon-standing]

got iiiittt

hm

I think I have someone in mind... I'll be right back don't go anywhere

[slash-standing]

hey asking for a friend what's your type?

@matchmaker-anon-standing

Me Slash not really care. Me Slash just want girlfriend.

[matchmaker-anon-standing]

Hm, I see, I see...

let's start simple, yeah?

is height a factor? Shorter or taller?

[slash-standing]

Me Slash just want girlfriend. Height is irrelevant. Me guess if have to pick one taller better.

[matchmaker-anon-standing]

taller is better ok...

hmmmmm

personality? Boastful or reserved?

oh also what's your favorite color?

[slash-standing]

Me Slash not reserved so maybe nice contrast if girlfriend is.

[matchmaker-anon-standing]

hmmm

and her paint? Or is that dealers choice?

[slash-standing]

hey asking for a friend what's your type?

@matchmaker-anon-standing

Me Slash not really care. Me Slash just want girlfriend.

[matchmaker-anon-standing]

Hm, I see, I see...

let's start simple, yeah?

is height a factor? Shorter or taller?

[slash-standing]

Me Slash just want girlfriend. Height is irrelevant. Me guess if have to pick one taller better.

[matchmaker-anon-standing]

taller is better ok...

hmmmmm

personality? Boastful or reserved?

oh also what's your favorite color?

[slash-standing]

hey asking for a friend what's your type?

@matchmaker-anon-standing

Me Slash not really care. Me Slash just want girlfriend.

[matchmaker-anon-standing]

Hm, I see, I see...

let's start simple, yeah?

is height a factor? Shorter or taller?

[kup-standing]

Well, hello sir!

Y'know, you make a good point.

Makes me curious...

You looking for any type of relationship rn?

I'm sure I can set something up, just need to know your preferences :)

@matchmaker-anon-standing

Oh Primus... I need a cigar... and a pillow.

I'm too old for a relationship! Who would even find my worn down face and a body that is falling apart... attractive...

And most of my old parts can't be replaced because they are decommissioned.

[matchmaker-anon-standing]

... Sir, I think given the evidence, a lot of people find you attractive. Some people LIKE when their mechs are falling apart!

You aren't worn down, you're aging like a fine wine!

And besides, some like personality over looks!

but if you really don't want it, I won't push it ofc ofc.

[kup-standing]

Some bots like when their mechs are falling apart...

I say to that, I have only met psychopaths and Decepticons who like seeing bots fall apart. Are you insane?! Shouldn't a partner be worried when their partner falls a part?

[matchmaker-anon-standing]

Nononono I meant- no

I meant like-

...

you ever hear of the term "I can fix him"?

[kup-standing]

"Fix him?"

huh. Huh. HUH???????

Are you trying to match me with Shockwave or Ratchet???!!! Why are we fixing me? Who is fixing him? What is "I can fix him"?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND!

Explain, please?

[matchmaker-anon-standing]

NO.

Slow down!

I'm not trying to pair you with Ratchet (unless he wants to) or Shockwave (under ANY circumstances)

"I can fix him" is..

Ok, so it's usually said about older people - such as yourself.

Usually it's directed towards a "problematic fave" - but you're not problematic so you don't have to worry about that!

Basicslly, it's said by an admirer who's basically saying "I can fix his problems". In your case, your admirer would be fixing your back pain. Instead of changing your flaws, they wanna... fix you up! Take care of you! And... if you're falling apart... it give them.... even more reason to...!

[kup-standing]

Well, hello sir!

Y'know, you make a good point.

Makes me curious...

You looking for any type of relationship rn?

I'm sure I can set something up, just need to know your preferences :)

@matchmaker-anon-standing

Oh Primus... I need a cigar... and a pillow.

I'm too old for a relationship! Who would even find my worn down face and a body that is falling apart... attractive...

And most of my old parts can't be replaced because they are decommissioned.

[matchmaker-anon-standing]

... Sir, I think given the evidence, a lot of people find you attractive. Some people LIKE when their mechs are falling apart!

You aren't worn down, you're aging like a fine wine!

And besides, some like personality over looks!

but if you really don't want it, I won't push it ofc ofc.

[kup-standing]

Some bots like when their mechs are falling apart...

I say to that, I have only met psychopaths and Decepticons who like seeing bots fall apart. Are you insane?! Shouldn't a partner be worried when their partner falls a part?

[matchmaker-anon-standing]

Nononono I meant- no

I meant like-

...

you ever hear of the term "I can fix him"?

[kup-standing]

Well, hello sir!

Y'know, you make a good point.

Makes me curious...

You looking for any type of relationship rn?

I'm sure I can set something up, just need to know your preferences :)

@matchmaker-anon-standing

Oh Primus... I need a cigar... and a pillow.

I'm too old for a relationship! Who would even find my worn down face and a body that is falling apart... attractive...

And most of my old parts can't be replaced because they are decommissioned.

[matchmaker-anon-standing]

... Sir, I think given the evidence, a lot of people find you attractive. Some people LIKE when their mechs are falling apart!

You aren't worn down, you're aging like a fine wine!

And besides, some like personality over looks!

but if you really don't want it, I won't push it ofc ofc.

[swindle-standing]

If you had to date someone else (who isn't yourself) whow would it be and why would it be Mixmaster?

Who's sayin' I'm dating Mixie?

[mixmaster-standing]

Right right

and in terms of mechs or fems?

-match

m- mechs, i th- think

[matchmaker-anon-standing]

riiiigght gotcha gotcha

now in terms of looks, other than the wheels , what do we think?

[mixmaster-standing]

I'm m- more of a per- pers- Personality, kind- kinda guy, I g- guess

[matchmaker-anon-standing]

really? Alright

hm.. so what's your standards for personality? Nicer, meaner, respectful, asshole, mixed bag?

maybe you might like em a little spontaneous, maybe a little of a smooth talker?

or maybe you might like them a little more thoughtful, intentional...

or maybe this mech is a little bit of both, or nothing. A bit of a mystery...

[matchmaker-anon-standing]

You should matchmake for Slash, see if you can find someone to put up with her :3

hmmmm... we'll see... I wonder who, though.

I'll keep this in mind!

[matchmaker-anon-standing]

Why did you think pairing up Solus and Sideways was a good idea?

:3

I never said it was a good idea...

[mixmaster-standing]

Right right

and in terms of mechs or fems?

-match

m- mechs, i th- think

[matchmaker-anon-standing]

riiiigght gotcha gotcha

now in terms of looks, other than the wheels , what do we think?