[karenpage]

maybe a war is what i need.

[ourpyrrhicvictory]

16) things you said with no space between us or 17) things you said that I wish you hadn’t (or both LMAO, mary @ mulciber!)

HATRED.  a poison. drinking it and waiting for the other person to die … he doesn’t hate her. let that be clear. he doesn’t. he doesn’t hate her. he doesn’t hate what she is. he hates what he is , and he hates what he must become in her presence. he hates the idea that he doesn’t hate her , and he hates the idea of her hating him regardless. 

why ? ? ? 

a question posed. 

he resigns to answering it with his hand around her throat. and her hands against his chest. and this disgust in her eyes. THIS DISGUST. he needs this disgust , FEEDS OFF OF IT , siphons it with every breath. and yet , it does not diminish. 

why ? ? ? 

a question posed. 

SHE FOUGHT BACK. that is the antithesis of him. no one fights back , not anymore , and many moons have passed since he watched her walk to the edge of that astronomy tower , fear on her face —he needed that fear and so he called it forth— but nothing more in her eyes. certainly not this disgust. 

and then evan was there. and then avery. and everyone was looking at him as though the jokes were no longer funny and the pranks were no longer harmless. because they weren’t. they weren’t , and she was the line he had to cross. 

poor mary macdonald. you know what he almost did to her ? ? ?crazy little mulciber. you know what the shite’s the matter with him ? ? ? 

he bares his teeth in a cheshire grin , the blood still dripping from his lips , cheek still stinging from the whip of her hand. the sound of it , that sound , has his heat pooling like molten gold. FINALLY ! FINALLY YOU FEEL SOMETHING ! ! !

❝ we aren’t all that different , little bird. both covered in our anger. we just wear it differently , don’t we ?and that’s what you wanted , why you’re always so thrilled to see me. ❞

she pushes at his chest , and he shudders , ignited by the effort , INSPIRED. he steps ever closer , a breath between their bodies , her back flush against the stone wall of the alley he’d led her into , like a sheep to the slaughter. 

but she hadn’t been easy , and he hadn’t been willing , and he doesn’t know who has the BIGGER PROBLEM at the moment. 

and he leans in , and he leans down , and his eyes are level with hers. this grip on her neck loosens , but the weight on his chest tightens , and he knows these words are just as dangerous to him as they are to her. because if they are the same , if they have EVER ONCE been the same , then he has no excuse. 

if they are the same , then the game is over. 

❝ because you want to make sure we don’t start wearing it the same. you want to make sure you don’t start looking like me. ❞

his eyes glow with a confidence that BETRAYS the racing pace of his heart. he and his demons , cloaked in his darkness , obscured from what light is left in her eyes , stand above the scene to survey. it is him and it isn’t. he is safe and he isn’t. evan’s words echo in his ears so loud that he wants to scream. do you know why gods die ? ? ? mary macdonald … mary fucking macdonald. cassius mulciber has many secrets , many that hurt and many that hurt others , many that ache and many that ail , but there is only one that concerns mary macdonald. 

and it is that she had just as much an impact on him as he had on her. 

he leans forth further before that truth flickers in his eyes and gives him away , allows his mouth to hover beside her ear , the backs of her hands now pressed to her chest , the only barrier left between them. 

❝ because you’re afraid you might like it. ❞

and if she no longer hates him , what is left of her ? 

no.

if she no longer hates him , what is left of HIM ? 

[maulciber]

                              𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭 & 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘯                                      𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡

                                                                   sideblog to muyymalo

[papa-evershed]

[darlingshane]

Jon Bernthal as Braxton in ‘The Accountant’ (2016)

[ssweeneys]

When your girl is still mad at you but, you catch her masturbating to the thought of you in the shower.

[aefintyr]

24) things you said with clenched fists - cassius

things you said with clenched fists ┊ @ourpyrrhicvictory

“I hate you.”

It comes easily, instinctively. She doesn’t even have to think about it, she just says it, and the truth of it echoes through the room. She hates him and she will always hate him. Hates him with a ferocity that leaves her breathless, hates him so much that it hurts to even look at him right now.

Her nails dig into her palms, hard enough and sharp enough to draw blood.

She wants to set this room on fire.

The urge is so intense that it threatens to swallow her whole, to chew her up and spit her out, to burn her down and turn her into dust. Because she doesn’t have any goodness left inside her. Because the war has eaten everything good in her life. It ate, and ate, and ate; and now, there’s nothing left. Nothing except her.

And him.

“I hate you.”

She hates how weak she sounds, how her voice trembles, caught between grief and rage. It’s unfair. It’s unfair that Lily and James are dead, and she’s still here. It’s unfair that Sirius is going to Azkaban, and he’s still here. It’s unfair that Dumbledore asked so much of them, too much, and he can’t do anything to fix this. 

They fought for him. They died for him. They won the damn war for him and what do they have to show for it?

He owes them this, at the very least. He owes her this.

She stares at him, at his figure lingering in the doorway. This is his house, not hers. She shouldn’t even be here. She should’ve never been here in the first place. She should’ve never agreed to his deal in the alleyway, never should’ve fucked him the first time or the numerous times after that. He’s here and the people she loves - loved - aren’t.

“I hate you.”

It’s all she has left.

[archivedstrangehungers-blog]

scavengememes‌:

BASTILLE’S  ❝ WILD WORLD ❞  SENTENCE STARTERS

GOOD GRIEF

“it goes in one ear, out the other.”

“what’s gonna be left of the world if you’re not in it?”

“now stop worrying and get dressed.”

“every minute and every hour, i miss you.”

THE CURRENTS

“i can’t quite believe my ears.”

“you’re making me feel nervous.”

“do you even know what year it is?”

“won’t you stop firing up the crazies?”

AN ACT OF KINDNESS

“kindness is what you showed to me.”

“you left me wanting more.”

“you want nothing in return - i feel guilty.”

“my back’s up against the wall.”

WARMTH

“never good, just the bad and the ugly.”

“i can’t stop thinking about it.”

“tell me, did you see the news tonight?”

“now draw me close.”

GLORY

“there’s no looking up for heaven.”

“we made the best of what we had, you know?”

“and was it feeling real?”

“i’ll take my chances on the curb here with you.”

POWER

“did you really think i’d fall to my knees?”

“i will never understand the power you were holding over me.”

“hurt the ones you love the most easily.”

“if you’re gonna hit me, hit me harder, ‘cause you better knock me out the first time.”

TWO EVILS

“who’s this man, who’s this act i hide behind?”

“this is a game, no wrongs, no right.”

“it pays to be the nice guy sometimes.”

“we’re not that different, you and i.”

SEND THEM OFF!

“set me free from my jealousy.”

“watch over as i sleep, through my darkest of dreams.”

“hold me closer than anyone before.”

“i should be thinking about nothing else when i’m with you.”

LETHARGY

“run away as fast as you can go.”

“you told me not to be like anybody else.”

“you checked out years ago.”

“what i’d do not to worry like you.”

FOUR WALLS (THE BALLAD OF PERRY SMITH)

“i don’t know, oh, i don’t know.”

“what you have done is terrible, and now you carry it with you.”

“now we’re faced with two wrongs.”

“there’s no view from here.”

BLAME

“there’s no room for you here.”

“send my regards to hell.”

“i can feel your pulse from here.”

“don’t pin it all on me!”

FAKE IT

“i wanna waste all of my time with you.”

“my love, we can never go back.”

“let’s destroy each mistake that we made.”

“help me turn a blind eye.”

SNAKES

“show me distraction even for just one night.”

“it’s easier to bury my head in the sand sometimes.”

“i pray for the ground to swallow me whole.”

“oh, i’m not ready.”

WINTER OF OUR YOUTH

“i’ve got nostalgia running through me, and i don’t like it.”

“i’m pedaling backwards.”

“when we pick over the past, we glorify it.”

“i’ve drunk too much to give you what you want.”

WAY BEYOND

“do you wanna be free of this?”

“i’m gonna dust you off my shoulders.”

“real life’s more fucked up than fiction.”

“i just wanna feel something, like before.”

OIL ON WATER

“they lie together, oil on water.”

“her mind, it was reaching out.”

“it’s a catalogue of modern mistakes.”

“warm affection runs through every word.”

CAMPUS

“someone else’s words in your mouth.”

“oh, never leave me out.”

“it must be so lonely, knowing what you know.”

“heaven, help me.”

SHAME

“i can see a change in you.”

“i don’t like who i’m seeing lately.”

“maybe i’m living in the past.”

“who am i to judge? i’m the worst of all!”

THE ANCHOR

“you cut through all the noise.”

“i think of you all the time.”

“bring me some hope.”

“you’re the anchor that i tied to my brain.”

FINAL HOUR

“how many more times will we all bear witness?”

“how many more ways are there to say this?”

“it’s always you that is leading us astray.”

“can’t you feel the temperature rising?”

[maulciber]

@aefintyr​ | things you said with clenched fists

“I hate you.”

It comes easily, instinctively. She doesn’t even have to think about it, she just says it, and the truth of it echoes through the room. She hates him and she will always hate him. Hates him with a ferocity that leaves her breathless, hates him so much that it hurts to even look at him right now.

Her nails dig into her palms, hard enough and sharp enough to draw blood.

She wants to set this room on fire.

The urge is so intense that it threatens to swallow her whole, to chew her up and spit her out, to burn her down and turn her into dust. Because she doesn’t have any goodness left inside her. Because the war has eaten everything good in her life. It ate, and ate, and ate; and now, there’s nothing left. Nothing except her.

And him.

“I hate you.”

She hates how weak she sounds, how her voice trembles, caught between grief and rage. It’s unfair. It’s unfair that Lily and James are dead, and she’s still here. It’s unfair that Sirius is going to Azkaban, and he’s still here. It’s unfair that Dumbledore asked so much of them, too much, and he can’t do anything to fix this.

They fought for him. They died for him. They won the damn war for him and what do they have to show for it?

He owes them this, at the very least. He owes her this.

She stares at him, at his figure lingering in the doorway. This is his house, not hers. She shouldn’t even be here. She should’ve never been here in the first place. She should’ve never agreed to his deal in the alleyway, never should’ve fucked him the first time or the numerous times after that. He’s here and the people she loves - loved - aren’t.

“I hate you.”

It’s all she has left.

AT LEAST HE HAS THE SENSE TO LOOK ASHAMED. it might be the first time in his life he’s chosen to remain silent in the face of admonishment. not so much because mary had rendered him speechless , but more so because he understood that to say anything was to crush what semblance of peace remained. her voice , callous as it is , has not risen above a reasonable volume. part of him wished it would. it would be easier to sit here having her yell and scream and curse him , literally , than it is to sit here like a dog who’s pissed in the house. and hasn’t he ? he had soiled what little hope he had for redemption in her eyes , if there had ever been at all. because fucking him is different from loving him. living with him was different than accepting him.

letting him lay his head upon her pillow is different from forgiving him. 

he can’t take it back. even if he had no direct involvement with the attack , he had always known it would cost her more than he would ever be able to pay back . . . he just never expected this. every time he had ever been able to make out lily in the field —he’d learned , early on in the agreement , how to pick her out— he had avoided her , left her to her own devices but never cut her down by his own hand. and . . . he may have stepped between her and dolohov or barty every now and again. the point is that he’d tried. 

but mary won’t care. her best friend is gone , and his efforts were in vain.

what he does know right now is that she means it. she means every syllable , and each one of them cuts through him like the sharpest blade , ice cold and yet white hot. he won’t admit it , won’t let it show on his features. he’s SEETHING , though not at her. none of them had known. none of them , save perhaps the lestranges who always knew everything all the time. but the rest of them , they thought they were keeping watch on the longbottom house based on some information from within the ministry. they thought they were doing the most important work to date. and they were wrong. 

and had he known , had he applied himself to reach that inner circle of hell , he could have warned her , mary. he could have helped. for once in his godforsaken life , he could have been better than what he was. 

but that moment has passed , and all that’s left is the monster. that’s all that can be left. because if he becomes something else now , it won’t mean anything. it’s too late. she’d been right in the beginning. there is no saving him.

❛ then leave. ❜ 

he stands with a heavy sigh , but he doesn’t look at her , half because he fears retaliation. and half because he fears having to watch her leave. 

but it’s over now , isn’t it ? they have nothing left. the deal is dead in the water , and she has no use for him anymore. in fact , there is only one reason she would stay at all , and on impulse , he throws it at her like an ax. 

❛ either leave or remember we were just at war. because no matter who hates who , i’m all you got left. ❜

[maulciber]

                               𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭 & 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘯                                        𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡

                                                                    sideblog to muyymalo