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masterlist of 200+ verified Palestinian families' GFMs: Operation Olive Branch
Help provide tents: (*emergency as Rafah is being bombarded as we speak)
The Sameer Project: Currently providing tents & transport for families in Rafah who urgently need to evacuate to Deir Al Balah. Has a team on the ground in Gaza who have supplied tents to 1% of the displaced population in Rafah. Run by Palestinians. (paypal) (gfm)
@helpgazachildren: Currently helping Palestinians in a refugee camp in Rafah flee the Rafah invasion to Khan Younis. Funds go directly to Hussam, a Palestinian in Rafah who hosts a refugee camp. Funds will cover the cost of tents & transport fuel. Managed by a Palestinian @.fairuzfan. (gfm)
Food, cash & essentials:
Care for Gaza: Palestinian charity on the ground in Gaza distributing food, cash, medicine & other essentials to displaced families. Proof of their work found on their Twitter. (paypal) (gfm)
We Feed Gaza: Team of Palestinian volunteers in the heart of Gaza distributing food & water to 344+ families. More details & proof in their gfm. Vetted & promoted by LetsTalkPalestine. (gfm)
Direct Aid for Gaza: A Palestinian activist on the ground in Gaza distributing food, cash & other essential supplies to displaced families. Proof of their work found on their twitter. (paypal) (gfm)
Water (*only 2 weeks left to donate!):
Gaza Municipality's water campaign: The official Municipality of Gaza needs help rebuilding the water infrastructure in Gaza City to restore access to clean water & waste management services for the people of Gaza.
eSIMs:
guide to buy & send esims to gaza (highly needed, esim supply very low)
Crips for eSims for Gaza: If you don't know how to buy esims, don't have enough $ for an esim plan, or don't have the capacity to manage them (e.g. topping up regularly), you can donate any amt to this team of volunteers who pool funds to buy & maintain gaza esims regularly (see their financial accountability document).
Medical Aid:
Gaza Wound Care (urgent): Palestinian doctors in central Gaza treating injured/sick children & mothers in neglected displacement camps far from hospitals. Facing a severe shortage of medicines, medical equipment, and supplies. They need funds for their current campaign to battle infectious diseases in refugee camps. (paypal) (gogetfunding) (gfm)
international charities: Palestine Red Crescent Society, Palestine Children's Relief Fund, Medical Aid for Palestinians
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Boycott
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Contact your reps
Educate yourself & others both irl & online
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(longer masterpost of all ways you can help)
updated 3/6/2024 with Gaza Wound Care & We Feed Gaza. I wanted to focus on Palestinian-run grassroots initiatives that will actually reach Gazans on the ground, so all of these except Crips for eSIMs, PCRF, PRCS and MAP are by Palestinians. i have verified them but please feel free to do your own vets for your peace of mind.
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⚰︎ chapter tags: thunderstorms ⋆ puzzles ⋆ this part is lwk more sad than the rest i‘m sorry ⋆ flashbacks are italicized ⋆ ignore any spelling or grammar mistakes i will probably find them later ⋆ images are not mine ⋆ graphics are mine ⋆ word count: 2k
· · ─ chto - what ⋆ khoroshiy - good man
⚰︎ bones now playing ▹ mad - reneé rapp
“Really?” Yelena asked Bucky through the phone. “Could you not have just said that your informant was Alexei this entire time?”
Bucky’s phone call had interrupted Yelena and yours quest to settle on a takeout restaurant. You watched her curiously from her seat across the table. You could tell Yelena was becoming a bit more comfortable around you. Feeling less like she was walking on broken glass. Bucky still hadn’t returned from meeting his informant and was now calling to check in. Letting you two in on the fact that said informant from all those days go was actually just Yelena’s dad.
“Thanks for letting me know, old man.” Her voice oozed sarcasm and she left the old man jab open ended to insult both her father and Bucky.
“He somehow put himself back undercover, I wasn’t gonna go in and rain on his parade.” Buckys voice responded.
“Oh my God.” Yelena rubbed at her eyes.
“He seemed fine.”
“He is a senile old man.” You furrowed your eyebrows. Based on the photos you had been shown he didn’t seem that old to you. You began thinking his super soldier serum lowed his physical aging.
“Yelena, stop that.” You scolded her.
“Is that you?” A man’s voice screamed, with Russian accent thicker than Yelena. “Are you alright Little Avenger?”
“Aren’t I the only original Avenger on the team?” You asked quietly while looking at Yelena.
“Yes, but to him you are young. It’s better than the kotenok mstitel'.” You tipped your head to the side as Yelena fought to hide her smirk behind her cup. “Kitten Avenger.”
“Oh, no.”
“Alexei is just a fat old man.” Yelena tried to make you feel better. To be fair you did feel a bit better, knowing that somebody around here didn’t think you were all doom and gloom. But if he was Yelena’s father figure you weren’t sure where that placed the bar to begin with.
“Chtooo Yelena!” He yelled over the phone, rushing out a cluster of Russian sentences that sounded very unhappy. She laughed into the receiver.
“It’s alright! I think it’s cute.” You tried to calm them down. You could hear Bucky chuckling on the other end of the receiver. He and Yelena were both aware that you hated actually the nickname. You had never seen the fun in the nickname and claimed it was demeaning to your title as a former Avenger.
Yelena could understood how you had felt, now having experienced a fraction of what your life must have been like as an Avenger. She saw how the term little or kitten probably felt like a downplay on everything you’ve done and been through. Even if Alexei didn’t mean it, Yelena knew it wasn’t right to keep the things she knows about you from you. She tapped the mute icon.
“Actually, you hate it.” She admitted. “You said you find it demeaning.” You sat with the new information for a moment as Alexei continued to yap into the phone.
“I,” you paused. “That makes sense, I guess.”
“I know he does not mean that, I think it would be okay for you to not hate it.” Yelena offered you in your silence as Alexei’s story kept going on and on. “It’s your choice, I just felt you should know.”
You let out a frustrated groan. “I feel like if I disagree with what everyone tells me about myself, it’s a betrayal to myself. Like breaking up a puzzle I’ve spent three a weeks putting work into.”
“A puzzle?”
“They’re fun.” You defended yourself.
“How are you even the same person?” Yelena tried to stifle a laugh.
“You mean I’ve never forced you guys to do a puzzle?” Yelena thought for a moment.
“I’ve seen you do puzzles with Bob sometimes.”
“YELENA!” You swore you saw her eye twitch as she ripped her stare away from you to click the microphone and unmute her father.
“WHAT?” She yelled back.
“I said; tomorrow Winter Solder and I ride to meet a friend. We will call back for check in.” He informed. "Old friend from home. Khoroshiy."
“Just, be careful.” She said.
“Thank you!” You rushed out in a yell. Still obviously feeling guilty for losing the intel.
A boom of thunder startled you after Yelena pressed the disconnect. Yelena had stat straight up in alarm from the sound while you, mouth open and just about to speak, outwardly screamed on reflex. She jolted and immediately flashed you a what the fuck? look, but you were laughing too hard to respond. “That was an accident.” You gasped out eventually catching your breath.
“Really, you scream on accident?” She had now gotten up and began rummaging around the kitchen cabinets. You saw a flash of lightning somewhere off in the city. Yelena began rambling off about dinner as you half listened and watched the rain. You didn’t really feel like you had the right to be picky about food lately.
Another boom of thunder sounded off, this time close to the Watchtower. You jumped, but no scream this time. You watched a large bolt of lightning descend and disappear into the skyline.
Rain pelted against the windows of the Avengers Tower. Storms from a hurricane had been assaulting the length of the East Coast all week.
You were looking down at the gift you received from a S.H.IE.L.D. Agent during the prior year’s Secret Santa. You had tucked it away into the depths of your closet to prevent someone making a very embarrassing discovery without your control.
Bounty in hand, you asked the AI where the team was and you were delighted to find out they all had gathered in one of the common spaces. You laughed as your footsteps tapped along the tower floor.
“I hear trouble.” You heard Steve’s voice echo out of the open entryway before you even reached the door. Curse him and his super soldier hearing
You fluttered into the room to see the team lounging amongst the sofas and chairs. Half watching the movie playing on the flat screen, half engrossed in their own projects or cellphones. You loudly dropped your box onto the table, the slap and rattle of the cardboard pieces unmistakable.
“Hell, no.” Tony said, not even looking up from his weird hologram cellphone.
“Not again.” Natasha laughed at you while sitting up straight.
“Just be glad it’s not friendship bracelets.” Bruce added sarcastically. He didn’t even look up from his tablet, just continued looking over some of his spreadsheets.
“There are unspoken rainy day rules.” You defended yourself with an irritated whine to your tone.
“Well, you know how I feel about rules and it’s been raining for six days.” Tony joked. Clint clicked off his phone and flipped open the box, snorting at the image on the front. Of course he was the first to go for it. Having children himself, he’s no stranger to a good puzzle. “Really Barton? We can’t keep supporting this habit, she’ll never get clean.”
“You’re so dramatic! It’s just a puzzle, and you didn’t even look at the box.” You pushed the empty lid across the glass table. Tony let out an exasperated sigh before looking down to see him in his Iron Man suit printed on the glossy cardboard.
“You know, maybe this one is fine.” He tilted his glasses down his nose while picking it up to get a better look. “Not the photo I would have gone with, but I guess this is still a good one.”
Natasha called your name, grabbing your attention. “So, do you have a puzzle of everyone on the team or is it just Tony?” Heat creeped up your neck as she teased you.
“It was gift!”
“I’m only slightly creeped out but mostly flattered that someone gifted you my likeness in puzzle format.”
Natasha rolled her eyes. “Are you sure that it wasn’t actually a threat?”
“… and you are not listening to a word that I have been saying to you.” Yelena had turned to look at you a moment ago. You had that same far off look as you stared out the window. Your eyes were fixed on a single spot, expression empty and your pupils slightly dilated. She felt like disturbing you would do no good so she decided to wait this one out. Only needing to wait a minute or so longer before you snapped out of it.
Thunder boomed, lightning flashed almost immediately in close proximity to the tower. You both could feel the vibrations from the storm rattle through your bodies. You jolted and sat up straight, blinking to see her standing a few feet away.
“You went off somewhere else again.” Yelena looked over at the counter where your notebook sat. “Do you wanna write it down?” You didn’t respond.
When she looked back over at you she was not expecting to see tears bubbling up in your eyes. You shook your head as you bit down on your lips. Yelena stood stiffly, not knowing exactly what she should do. She wanted to chastise you for not writing it down while it was still fresh, but you had your own feelings to work through.
Yelena watched you take in a shaky breath, “Somebody would always do a puzzle with me if I asked.” Yelena watched as you blinked quicker, but it didn’t matter, the tears fell anyways.
As the seconds ticked by Yelena’s panic was spiking. Your breathing quickened as you sniffed a few times in precession. Still blinking.
Yelena could do a lot of things. Hand to hand combat. Hack systems. Fly a helicopter. Jump out of a helicopter. Shoot guns. Wire explosives. However she believed could not do this.
Yelena turned to hand you a tissue from the opposite counter. “Do you want to do a puzzle?” Yelena asked. You sniffled into the paper, and laughed.
Being so casual with Yelena still sat weirdly with you. Both painfully aware the tension between you, but neither of you confident enough to say anything yet. Yelena didn’t understand her feelings. And You couldn’t remember.
Yelena had walked over to the cabinets under the TV where there was a few boxes of collective board games and picked up the stack of puzzle boxes of various sizes for you to choose from.
When the team came to place their orders to the takeout place Yelena claimed was her favorite. They were greeted by Yelena and you working on the corner portion of the puzzle you chose. It was an image of The Great Wave of Kanagawa by Katsushika Hokusai. Bob joined in immediately.
“A puzzle? What is this? Like a brain thing for therapy?” John asked as he sat down to look at all the pieces.
“No.” You snipped at him. The entire table seemed to freeze. Yelena let out the laugh she had been holding in at the familiarity of your tone, Ava joining in. Bob nervously looked between you and John.
“At least you still know how to bark at Walker.” Ava elbowed you with a smile as she walked behind your seat. You sat up in your chair and held your hands up like you were caught with your hand in the cookie jar.
“I’m sorry, that was a little aggressive.” You said to him. He shrugged. “You’re the one with brain damage.” Your eyebrows shot up in surprise.
“You don’t actually know that already, right?” Bob asked swallowing nervously. His tone was serious.
“No, Bob.” You answered. “Med staff said I have to keep going back for scans. It’s why Bucky banned me from leaving the tower.” You grumbled out. Your memory was soup and you wanted to see New York not through a window, but you also wanted your brain to heal and it was safer inside the tower.
"Good." Bob nodded with a relieved expression. "Not good because of the brain damage, good because you-you there could be less... Damage." You gave him a smile, letting him ramble on even if he didn't need to over explain himself so much.
"Thank you, Bob."
⚰︎ NEXT PART ⋆ mixtape ⋆ series m.list ⋆ m.list ⋆ y.b. m.list
tag list: @s0urw00lf @callsignwidow ⋆ comment to be added ♡ the bone lady
⚰︎ chapter tags: therapy ⋆ flashbacks are italicized ⋆ ignore any spelling or grammar mistakes i will probably find them later ⋆ images are not mine ⋆ graphics are mine ⋆ word count: 2k
· · ─ pérvyy blin kómom - the first damn thing is lumpy ⋆ khodit' na golov'e - playing a prank
⚰︎ bones now playing ▹ mad - reneé rapp
⚰︎ Four aggressive knocks sounded through your dorm. You halted your movements and your breathing. Maybe if you didn’t respond, whoever it was would give up and not open the door.
Four more knocks, louder and harsher this time. At the sound of the last knock. You rolled yourself off the side of your bed, landing on your good leg and using your good arm to balance.
Yelena’s voice echoed your name through your door. “If you do not open the door the next time I knock I will be picking your lock.” She warned. She didn’t know it was unlocked. Bucky did tell you that you preferred to lock your door now.
You had been putting more weight on your bad knee, now able to limp on it lightly. So while she was speaking you managed to shuffle yourself under your bed.
Three more knocks. Colorful Russian words were uttered quietly outside of your door as Yelena crouched down to your lock. Getting ready to pick the lock, when she grabbed it she noticed it was not even locked to begin with. Her eyebrows stitched together, you always locked your door.
She pushed open the door and saw your crutches laying against the wall.
“Hh, so you are just ignoring me?” She announced into the room. No answer. She called your name, “I’m not playing this little game of yours again.” Still nothing.
Your shower wasn’t on, but she walked to the unlit bathroom regardless. Flicking on the light, it was vacant, but she was surprised by the untidiness of the counter. No trash, but you were usually pretty well kept, amnesia you was clearly at a point in life before those habits formed.
“Ridiculous,” she continued muttering some unintelligible string of words in English and Russian finishing off with, “Khodit' na golov'e.” before returning to the main room. Eyeing the closet, she decided there wasn’t even enough space for you to get inside comfortably with your leg brace. Leaving one option.
Yelena dropped to her knees, bracing her palms on the carpet. When her head appeared in your view she wore a very unimpressed expression.
“This is so ridiculous.” You blinked at her. “Your appointment is in fifteen minutes.”
“I’m good.” You said simply, turning your face to look up at the bed. maybe she would just leave you alone.
“That’s nice,” she pushed herself back up to stand. “but i was not asking. There is no way am I letting Bucky hold this over me if you don’t go and we both know I am not above violence.”
“I don’t know anything.” Your sarcastic voice was muffled from where you stared up at the bottom of your mattress. Yelena rolled her eyes and groaned. You were acting like a child.
“If keep acting like a big baby, you will continue to know nothing.” She heard you scoff as she crouched down again, this time at the foot of the bed. Her eyes landing on your socked feet and the brace on your leg. Yelena didn’t want to waste time on this and she had already warned you about the violence.
“I'm not acting like a baby, I don’t know this wom-” your words morphed into a shriek of shock and pain as Yelena yanked you out from under your bed by your ankles. In one swift movement you were staring up at her blinking at the overhead lighting. “Ow!”
“Get up.” She ordered with a bored expression. You sighed. The part of you that wanted to run away, told you to claw against the bed frame and hike yourself back under, but you knew when you were beaten. You allowed Yelena drag you out of your room.
“Don’t worry, Dr. Raynor will be glad to see you.” Yelena cut through the silence of the elevator. “You have known her for years.”
“Oh. So she likes me?” Yelena threw an unimpressed glance in your direction. The look spiked your nerves just a little.
“Is that not what I just said?”
“So that means she doesn’t like me?” Yelena paused, her mind taking a moment to understand what you were really saying. That Dr. Raynor doesn’t like the version of you that you are currently, only the you before the accident. Yelena let out a breath.
“Did you just call me a pervert?” You asked.
“No,” she shook her head turning to look at you, “In English i think that means the first one is lumpy.” You wore a puzzled expression. “The saying is that the first pancake is always a bad one.”
“But don’t want any bad pancakes.”
“Well, a pancake is a pancake.” Yelena said.
The two of you sat in comfortable silence until the elevator doors slid open. Yelena accompanied you down the hall and wordlessly let you enter the office by yourself. She did not want to be noticed by Dr. Raynor.
So Yelena sat on one of the benches along the hallway of offices, mindlessly scrolling on her phone. At some point her own thoughts halted her doom scroll. Her eyes drawn down to the floor as her ears strained to hear your voice. She couldn't make out the words, but she could hear your muffled conversation through the door.
Her mind tracked itself back to how you must be feeling about everything. You seemed to be doing well, but Yelena didn’t really know you. She never allowed herself to know you before the mission accident. And she especially did not know this you. If she was less of a bitch when her sister introduced you two all those years ago when they took down Drakov the case would be different.
She’s the same. That is what bob had said, but Bob didn’t know you all those years ago, Bucky barely did. It struck Yelena how lonely you must feel. She can only assume it must be the same way she felt coming back from the Blip. Except you were there and lived the life you were missing. Yelena had nothing but ghosts, but you had real memories, real thoughts, real decisions and real choices. All gone.
As horrible of a thought as it was, Yelena couldn’t help but wonder what memories of her sister you’ve lost. Or which ones you still have. the weight sunk deeper into Yelena’s chest. Having been the reason why a surviving piece of her sister dies is something she keeps thinking back to.
Her spiral was cut short by the click of the door opening.
⚰︎ The clock on the wall ticked quietly as you sat ridged in the chair. Dr. Raynor sat on the opposite end of the desk.
“You look good for someone who had a building fall on them.” She said with a lilt.
“Yeah.” You squeaked out a laugh.
“When barnes told me about your accident I was sure you’d pull through.” She had a steady face, not showing emotion, but still looking somewhat kind. “You may not know it, but you are very resilient.” You nodded along awkwardly.
“Thank you.”
“Oh, that wasn’t from me, you actually said that.” Dr. Raynor looked down at a notebook she had opened in her lap. “To paraphrase you said the words, I adapted resilience like a weed.” You felt like the room got quieter. The ticking of the clock suddenly way too loud. You didn’t like a way that phrase itched your skin. That is not something you would say. Amnesia be damned. So, who said that and why did you repeat it? You must have taken too long to respond because she moved on.
“Bucky had mentioned that you had a flashback from your time working with the original avengers. Any similar experiences to that one?” She asked you. You shrugged.
“Some.”
“Some?” She echoed. You nodded.
“I remembered what cereal I like.” You mumbled out. Bob was excited to let everyone know when you shifted back from what he could only assume was your past favorite to your current favorite.
“That’s nice.” she nodded. “Anything else?”
“It’s all muddy.” You shook out your head as if it could physically straighten out your thoughts. "I don’t know, it’s random. I can’t really tell what’s what.”
“Trauma is muddy,” she agreed while scribbling in the notebook. “It’s possible your mind is most likely trying to hide some of the more painful memories you may be wanting to remember.” She paused, eyes flittering over a line of her notes before turning to you. “Do you have any prior memory of me at all? It doesn’t have to be a solid one. name, face, maybe something you’ve heard?” She shrugged casually. you blinked.
The office shifted. Instead of Dr. Raynor sitting in front of you, a photo of her was tucked to the top of a small stack of papers by a silver paperclip.
“So what? You and Wilson are in couples therapy?” You were sat on the counter of Bucky’s very vacant apartment. In front of you was a cup of water and that bottle of cheap fruit wine he found you with and insisted on taking along with you.
“Don’t call it that.” Bucky’s voice jumped an octave as he rubbed at his eye with his flesh hand. You just continued to laugh at him.
Bucky was frowning in the darkness of the apartment. the walls behind him out of focus to you. The outline of his body shifted softly, his clothing a kaleidoscope of muted colors. His hair looked wrong, but when your brain tried to correct the length, then it also seemed wrong.
“Okay, I’m sorry.” You tried to calm down before bursting back into giggles. “Fuck, no I’m not. Marriage counseling before the ring is crazy.” You continued your laughter.
“Keep it up kid and I’ll sign you up for the next session."
“And I’d rather fuck a chainsaw.” You were suddenly deadly serious, his expression soured. “Plus, we’re, like, fine.” We meaning who exactly? Bucky wasn’t even sure that you knew.
“You’re fine?” he asked, you nodded, too many times for somebody sober. If Bucky didn't know himself, he would classify you to be the least fine person he knows. “Did I not just I peel you off the bathroom floor of a dirty motel?” You blinked.
⚰︎ You were back in the office again. “Yeah.”
“Yeah?” Dr. Raynor threw back at you. You straightened your shoulders.
“Uh- your photo, when Bucky first started to see you, I think.”
“Where was the photo?”
“On the counter.”
“Who’s counter?”
“Bucky.”
“Why where you in his apartment?” You thought for a moment.
“I,” you thought back to the bleary memory. “I was drinking.” Dr. Raynor’s eyebrows lifted.
“Was Bucky drinking?” She asked. You shook your head. She put on a small smile.
“You know, you’ve told me this story before. Also in our first session together.” You finally made eye contact.
“Weird.”
“The mind is funny like that.” she was writing something down again. “Bucky told me he gave you a notebook?” You nodded. I want you to keep up with the writing and star all the things you want to talk about next week when we meet again.”
The way Dr. Raynor spoke to you was careful. “I don’t want to overwhelm you on your first day back, so I think we should call it here.”
Dr. Raynor opened the door, still standing inside the office. She called out into the hallway. “Miss. Belova, we’re all finished in here… Whenever you’re done hiding from me."
⚰︎ NEXT PART ⋆ mixtape ⋆ series m.list ⋆ m.list ⋆ y.b. m.list
⚰︎ chapter tags: flashbacks are italicized ⋆ ignore any spelling or grammar mistakes i will probably find them later ⋆ images are not mine ⋆ graphics are mine ⋆ word count: 2k
⚰︎ bones now playing ▹ mad - reneé rapp
⚰︎ Stop thinking about it. Famous last words.
All you were doing was thinking about it. All you could do was sit and think about it.
It’s not like you could even really ask her yourself. Even if you managed to corner her, you doubt it would take much for her to get out of the situation, not matter how many different scenarios you played out in your head. In your current condition you didn’t stand a chance physically. Even though you were missing most of you memories, you were almost positive you wouldn’t stand a chance to begin with.
The team was out, the initial excitement of your condition had worn down and everyone seemed to be falling back into a somewhat normal rhythm.
They were still working on the tracking the bio weapon. Bucky was keeping you in the dark about almost everything. Doctors advised you off all work until they cleared you. Your memory was foggy, almost like everything was there you just couldn’t really see it.
When you tried to think about the night that ceiling collapsed it was completely blank.
You had been dealing with bouts of vertigo all morning, so you hadn’t done much other than think and nap. After a few hours the couch began to agitate the constant ache in your back, so you slid off and onto the floor. The stretch the tile floor provided your spine felt far too good for you to be bothered to move back.
After twenty minutes of floor time you could hear light, relatively quick, footsteps approaching the room. They halted before they could take a second step further into the room.
Yelena had paused at the doorway. Her eyes immediately drawn to a half empty cup of water on the countertop, crutches leaning against the edge of the black granite, and your notebook on the backside of the couch. but no you. Not sitting or standing anywhere in sight.
Her heart rate jumped up as her eyes began to scan the floor for your possible unconscious body and when Yelena saw nothing she called out your name. She inwardly cursed as her voice shook.
“Hey,” you called back. Her head snapped towards the couch and she was standing over you in four very fast strides. When her head appeared above you she looked worried but relieved.
“What the hell are you doing?” She breathed out sharply. You blinked.
“Dizzy,” you said with an awkward shrug from the floor. “and my back hurt. So... floor time.”
“You should have said something.” She snipped walking into the kitchen. Yelena was clearly irritated. You had figured she and the rest of the team would be annoyed with you for alerting about just feeling dizzy.
“I’m fine, Yelena.” You pushed yourself up with your good side.
“Don’t get up.” Yelena called as she looked at the basket by the light switches. The spot where bob designated for your medication organizer. Also where she was currently looking at the pills Bob put out this morning still sitting in front of the case.
She was back over with your cup, now refilled, and your medications cupped in her palm. You looked over at the numbers of the clock. Had she come down here to make sure you took them? Embarrassed you forgot to take them this morning, you thanked her before plucking them from her hands.
“We set all of these stupid alarms,” Yelena walked back out of your view behind the couch. “Why haven’t you taken your medication yet?” You blinked.
⚰︎ When you opened your eyes, the room wasn’t the same room anymore. You where suddenly sat on the bed of your dorm room at the avengers compound. There was clambering in the bathroom to the other side of the room.
“And why haven’t you been taking your medication?” Natasha exited, she had a scrape on the side of her chin, a small single stitch above her brow. You blinked again. “Nothing to say for yourself?” She questioned shaking the almost full bottle. You sheepishly grinned.
“I keep forgetting.”
This was after a mission in Berlin, you had been burned on the backside of your leg while scaling through large machinery. Not your proudest moment. It only got worse when you had to evac yourself and was on the run for two days. This was your second round of antibiotics and you had honestly gotten bored of the routine and kept forgetting.
“It looks fine.” You assured her.
“You’re still limping.” She chucked the pill bottle at you. “Now get up, wound care needs to look at that.” Opening the cap you swallowed two pills dry. She gave you a disapproving look.
“Nat, I said I think it’s fine.” You urged.
“Say that now, but when you get gangrene...” You gasped face contorting into horror.
“No i’m not!”
“Hey F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” She called out. “She can get gangrene right?”
“Yes, Agent Romanoff, untreated infections can lead to gangrene.” the AI answered.
Your newfound panic delighted natasha as you willingly let her drag you out of your room and to the elevator so medical could look at your leg. Hopefully the nurses could scare you into taking better care of it.
Natasha pressed one of the elevator floor buttons, but when you looked at them they all read the number 8. To fill the silence, she had been whistling some random song you recognized from something Steve had played before. Suddenly she snapped in your ear, you turned to look at her puzzled. She wore worried expression.
The elevator dinged and the doors opened. When natasha opened her mouth to speak, the voice that spoke wasn't hers.
"Are you with me?" You blinked.
⚰︎ Two snaps accompanied by a short whistle. Yelena was on her knee beside you, her face very close to yours. “Are you with me?” Her expression was hard to read but she did look uncomfortable. this was the second time she’d seen you space out like that.
“I don’t like the new one.” You blurted. She stared at you, lips parting slightly.
“The new what?” You didn’t want to answer her. Your emotional attachment to Yony’s AI assistant would only make her seem less enthralled to be in the same room as you. “Do you mean the computer?” Yelena concluded. Your lack of response was enough for her.
“I know that must sound kinda weird but,” she cut you off before you could ramble.
“I get it.” She shrugged. “The first one became the vision right? so F.R.I.D.A.Y. was kind of-sorta like an almost person.”
“Yeah.” you agreed quietly. Her eyes moved to the stitches in your hairline. The swollen skin had begun to change as the bruise began to bloom through your skin.
“I don’t like the way that looks.” She said, her hand gripped your chin, tilting your face down. “It should not be so dry. You use the bacitracin right?” You nodded dumbly too caught up in the moment of déjà vu. “You are a liar.” She laughed. Releasing your face. “Dry as a bone, does this not hurt?”
“Everything kinda hurts.” You shrugged. “Also it makes my hair feel kinda gross.” She didn’t like your answer, but moved her hand carefully to touch the skin two inches away from the stitches. The skin was warm to the touch.
“Stay put.” She returned less than ten minutes later with the tube of antibiotic. The one from your bathroom counter. She washed her hands before kneeling back down in front of you and layering a healthy amount on the stitches.
“You’re face will fall off if you are not careful,” she joked in an attempt to scare you into better self care. You laughed softly as she twisted the cap back on. “and then there would be nobody to scowl at me.”
You nodded. “Right, Grim Reaper.”
“You are not the Grim Reaper.” Yelena said, standing up and walking back out of your view. “The Grim Reaper probably doesn’t sleep with their childhood blankie.” You scoffed at her, embarrassed she knew that fact about you. The weird feeling of seeing your beloved childhood friend aged ten years was hard to grasp, but you were happy it was at least still around.
“Oh, so you are mean to me.” You jokingly fired back. Yelena snorted, still out of view.
“Maybe a little bit.” The both of you joined into a soft laughter.
Ava phased through a wall and paused. Her eyes comically compounding between the two of you. “Am I interrupting?” She asked halting her steps.
Yelena coughed. “No.”
You shrugged.
⚰︎ “Dr. Raynor asked how you were doing.” Bucky said. You sat at the counter peeling vegetables for Bob as he busied himself cooking dinner.
“Hh.”
“At least your enthusiasm for therapy hasn’t changed at all.” He joked. You sighed.
“Bucky, my brain is like,” You paused trying to find an analogy graphic enough, “raw sewage, and the last thing I want to do is try to talk about it.”
“And that’s exactly why you talk about it.” He said as he stole a diced carrot piece off your cutting board.
“He’s right,” Bob butted in. “like someone else is there to try and make it make sense.”
You chewed on your inner cheek. “I just don’t want to!” You blurted. You didn’t want to talk to her. You didn’t want to talk to another person who knew more about yourself than you did. You were tired. Tired of being injured, tired of what your life was. Just tired.
Bucky set his jaw, ignoring your outburst. “She’ll be here tomorrow at 10.” Showing no signs of anger or malice, he left the room. He understood your anger, but he also understood that you needed to be back in therapy right now.
Finding his way to Yelena’s door. He knocked with his vibrinium hand to show who it was. As soon as the door opened, he stepped right into the room.
“Oh-kay,” Yelena gaped at his boldness moving out of his way. “Come in? I guess?” Yelena’s room was simple, but obviously lived in by a girl. Nothing compared to the sad look of Bucky’s own very baron quarters.
“I need a favor.” He crossed his arms while she eyed him nervously.
“Dr. Raynor is coming to the watchtower tomorrow.” Yelena breathed out an oh, briefly fearing if she was coming for another impromptu assessment on the entire time.
“And I need the Grim Reaper to not skip her appointment.”
Yelena let out a silent sigh of relief and dared to ask. “And this has something to do with me?”
“Yeah it does. I need you to make sure she doesn’t skip her appointment.” Bucky clarified, “I’m leaving tonight to meet an informant in Philly.”
“How convenient.”
“Convenient I have to go see him to get intel on a lead you hung up on?” Yelena closed her mouth.
“Do you expect me to tie her up?” Yelena joked.
“She’s on crutches, and is very eager to be around you. I don’t think you’ll have a problem.” Bucky turned to walk out of the room.
“Ah-ah- she what?” He didn’t stop walking away.
“Thank you, Yelena."
⚰︎ NEXT PART ⋆ mixtape ⋆ series m.list ⋆ m.list ⋆ y.b. m.list
⚰︎ chapter tags: flashbacks are italicized ⋆ ignore any spelling or grammar mistakes i will probably find them later ⋆ images are not mine ⋆ graphics are mine ⋆ word count: 1.6k
⚰︎ bones now playing ▹ mad - reneé rapp
⚰︎ The next day the team was back out in the field trying to chase the leads you lost.
You and Bob were in the living room resuming your marathon of Lost. He was kindly filling you in on everything you had a question about. He had become your chaperone since he apparently is benched until they figure out how to deal with the Void.
That was very confusing explanation. Overall you found the Cliff Notes version of interconnected nightmare backrooms Bucky gave you not very helpful. The Void and the sentry seemed to be a horrifying and commanding presences but bob looked like he might apologize to a houseplant if he bumped it.
When Bob met you post-amnesia he felt incredibly nervous to be around you. he wasn’t sure if you would be afraid of him or hate him. His fears were heightened when Bucky had instructed him to keep an eye on you. but when you sensed his anxiety you made a poor joke about not being able to remember the shame room and laughed when nobody else in the room felt like they should. He was less nervous after that.
“Hey Bob?” You asked. He hummed from the opposite couch. Uou toyed with the brace on your leg. “Do you know why Yelena seems… weird around me?”
He was quiet. “You should really be asking her.”
You made a defeated noise in the back of your throat. “It’s between you two,” he said with a small smile. “but i think she’s just trying to avoid talking of about it.”
You stared down at your hands, observing the unfamiliar scars and lines. “Well, she should just go ahead and do it.” You shrugged. “According to everyone I'm the most pleasant I’ve been in a while.” Your voice cracked as you tried to hold your tears back. Ironic to be the most pleasant when you feel the most upset. Everyone dead or in the wind... Or in space.
You couldn’t be honest with Bob though, not without possibly hurting his feelings.
“It’s okay to be upset.”
“No, I can’t be upset.” You told him shaking your head. “Crying over it won’t fix anything.” The words you spoke rattled around in your thoughts. Your brain pieced them together naturally, like you’d heard them before somewhere and held on.
Looking to your left suddenly the colors of the curtains were warping into a bright window. Almost aggressive florescent lights now lined the ceiling.
Muffled bickering filled the room. You didn’t know what was being said. You could suddenly feel a presence behind you with their comforting hand on your shoulder. You blinked. Steve stood across the room wearing a steely expression as he glared at tony. Your vision was blurring. you blinked again.
“Now look what you all did. Bambi’s gonna cry.” Tony mocked the group as you felt a tear escape your waterline.
“Crying over it won’t fix anything,” Steve said carefully. “but action will.” You opened your mouth to say something, but tony cut you off with some quip remark. The hand on your shoulder traveled down your back and up in a slow pattern that reminded you of your own parents.
“It’s alright.” Natasha’s voice spoke softly. “Let’s let the neanderthals grunt it out.” She joked lightly turning you by your shoulders to face her. “Are you okay?” You blinked again trying to open your mouth to answer, but your tongue felt like lead. And your eye sockets felt sore like they had been stuffed with cotton. You squeezed your eyes shut.
“Are you okay?” Her lips moved, but her had voice changed. Her the voice called out your name before repeating, “are you okay?”
With a final blink, the room was back to it’s current decor. Your eyes focused on the concerned face in front of of you. Not Natasha, but Yelena.
“Hey, are you alright?” She was inches from your face, dirt or soot smudged across the underside of her jaw and her forehead. There was a small orange leaf stuck in the more damaged blonde of her hair. Her eyes scanning you in worry. Bob was on your other side, standing to give you space.
“Yeah.” You breathed. “Sorry, I was just.” You continued to stare at her.
“Bob, she did not fall?”
He shook his head. “No, just spaced out.”
“What’s going on?” You heard Bucky’s voice call from somewhere.
“Everyone is fine,” Yelena brought her hand to wipe the tear off your left cheek before leaning backwards off her knees and into a crouch. You missed the comfort the closeness brought. Almost the same you had felt in the memory. “Just dissociating.”
“Remembering anything?” Bucky asked stepping into the room.
You shrugged. “Just some random argument from years ago.”
“Yeah this place must be cursed.” John said walking back out to the hall. Ava stayed lingered off to the side. You looked back up at Yelena, she was still in arms reach. She watched you carefully as you raised your dominant hand to pluck the small leaf from her hair.
“Just some random argument?” Bucky echoed.
You placed the leaf on the table. You shrugged.
“I was upset about something. The team was arguing.” The more you thought on it the more of the day you could recall.
You had slipped up during a mission. let an operative get the better of you for a moment too long. Nat ended up having to come in and help fix your mess, but still some of the buyers got away with some of their merchandise. She didn’t make you feel bad about it like tony had. natasha had helped you fix the parts of you hear that were damaged in the ambush. She knew she didn’t need to but she wanted to be sure that Tony’s words didn’t upset you more than you let on.
The unfamiliar AI voice chimed over the intercom that medical wanted to see you. bob stood quickly, “I can help.” He offered standing up moving to grab your crutches. Those who remained in the kitchen started to make lunch.
“That was cute.” Ava sipped on her straw with a knowing smirk.
“I don’t know what you are talking about?” Yelena aggressively stabbed a piece of chicken on her plate.
“You know what I mean,” Ava put down her drink. “The face thing, then the hair thing.”
“She was crying, I had a leaf in my hair.” Yelena said. “That is that.”
“That is not just that.” Ava pushed back. “I knew your whole feud was just romantic tension and now her not remembering the tension is proof enough.” Yelena groaned while ava laughed at her blushing face. “Just like in primary school, picking fights with your crush.” The giggle continued.
“I am not a child.”
“Astute observation.”
Yelena continued to eat.
⚰︎ The next morning Bucky knocked on your door. When you called out to him that it’s unlocked, he stepped through. “Just in case you want to resume your mystery. You usually keep it locked.”
“I really am the Grim Reaper.” You laughed, “Wanda used to just walk inside. just whoosh, wouldn’t even touch the doorhandles.” You made gestures with you hands as you looked at the closed door. “I’m just gonna keep it unlocked.” you decided.
“I brought you this.” Bucky plopped a composition notebook in front of you on the bed. “Anything you remember. Write it down.” He sat next to you. It was simple, and in your favorite color. It probably only costed him only a couple dollars, but it made you smile.
“You had some in your backpack.” You recalled randomly.
“I’ve got a lot more now.” He laughed. “Also we need to see about getting you back into therapy, especially now.”
“Back?” You blinked at him. “Isn’t the physio enough?” You groaned.
“Actually I have the entire team going.” You blinked again. “Ready for breakfast?” You nodded. He moved to hand you your crutches.
“Bucky if i ask you something,” you took them from him. “can you promise to give me a straightforward answer.”
“Sure thing,” He hauled you unceremoniously up off the mattress by your forearm. “If it’s a straightforward question.”
“Did I do something to Yelena that I can’t remember?” You asked, "It’s like she walks on broken glass around me.” Bucky’s face remained neutral. This was something you didn’t like about new Bucky. He was more outwardly put together and had a poker face that was now very hard to read.
“And don’t you even think about giving me that whole you should ask her yourself bullshit that bob already pulled.” He let out something between a laugh and a sigh rubbing at the stubble on his chin.
And after half a minute of silence, “well, you could ask go and ask her yourself.” The smooth sarcasm in his voice almost made your good eye start to twitch.
You let out a frustrated yell. “You-“ you words died on your tongue as his eyebrows shot up. Your mouth opened back up but a jumbled mix of word like sounds escaped. Your lip wobbled as you swallowed a frustrated sob.
“You hit your head pretty hard, you need to stop stressing yourself out.” Your stance faltered slightly, but you shuffled your feet to stay standing. “Stop thinking about it.”
⚰︎ NEXT PART ⋆ mixtape ⋆ series m.list ⋆ m.list ⋆ y.b. m.list
⚰︎ chapter tags: flashbacks are italicized ⋆ ignore any spelling or grammar mistakes i will probably find them later ⋆ images are not mine ⋆ graphics are mine ⋆ word count: 2k
· · ─ suka - bitch
⚰︎ bones now playing ▹ mad - reneé rapp
⚰︎ yelena hated you. you hated yelena… sort of.
⚰︎ “Yelena, are we friends?”
Yelena’s mouth dried as her heart hammered against her ribs. Of course you were curious. Did Bucky even explain who she was or who her sister was?
Her lips parted. The door opened.
Bucky stood there. his eyes landed on Yelena and his face flashed in confusion before putting on a smile.
“Morning girls.” He greeted.
“Hi bucky.” You smiled back. He was the only familiar face you had seen. You had sided with Steve during the bombing and accords situation, so this Bucky was very new to you. Congressman Barnes was very new to you.
“How’re you feeling?” He asked.
“Like my brain is soup.” He reached over and took the tablet from your lap.
“No screens.” You sighed.
“I’m literally missing like a third of my life, and it’s not even the part you're supposed to not remember.”
“You can ask questions for now.” He shrugged. Your eyes turned to Yelena. “Anyone of us would be happy to play Google for you.”
“You know what Google is now.” You observed. Yelena bit back a laugh.
“Yeah, I know what Google is.” He loaded the statement with sarcasm. “Either way, ask questions. They’re good people.” Bucky nodded. “Who are meeting for debriefing in fifteen.”
Yelena stood up, getting his gist.
“Get some rest, and no screens.” Yelena followed him out the door with a small smile.
Her expression when you had asked if you were friends was not great. Surly you must have done something to deserve to not be a friend to her. You closed you eyes and tried not to think about it while drifting in and out of sleep for a the next few hours.
“I’m glad you’re alright.” A voice spoke waking you from your thoughts. A man with shaggy brown hair stood tucked half behind the door, shifting nervously on his feet. “I was scared.” He admitted looking at the floor.
“Hi.” You remembered the photo of the team Bucky had shown you, this must be Bob. Bucky gave you a flash run down of Bob. Former addict turned medical experiment that turned bulletproof and enveloped New York in a shadow of bad dreams from the sky. This Bob was not the Bob you had pictured in your head.
“Bob?” He nodded with a little smile. “You can come in.” You told him as you sat up. He awkwardly shuffled in sideways, not touching the door and stood five steps from the bed.
“I’m sorry for scaring you, Bob.” You smiled.
“Do you need anything?” He asked.
you shook your head. “company maybe, you can sit if you like? bucky said we binge watch together.” he nodded with a smile scratching at his arm.
“we’re currently on season 5 of lost. but we’re probably gonna have to restart.” he joked. you laughed for the first time since you woke up.
“bucky also said you guys would be my google? yeah?” bob nodded enthusiastically. “mean i can tell you what i know and i can google the other stuff.” he blurted. he just wanted to help. you thought for a moment, eyes searching the air before locking onto bob.
“who won the game of thrones?”
For the next few hours, Bob dutifully answered all your questions he could with a smile. Despite you not knowing who he was, or how silly the question was, or having to over explain everything. Bob was just happy to be helpful.
⚰︎ The team was in the gym after the debriefing. Bucky didn’t like the energy and wanted everyone to work off some physical tension.
“She’s happy.” Bob said. Bucky and Walker looked at him in the doorway. The nurses had kicked him out for a dressing change. Bucky and Walker were now clearing up from their sparring match, Bucky won all three rounds.
“She just forgot the hardest ten years of her life. I'd feel good too.” Bucky turned his back to pack his things.
“It’s nice.”
“Is her brain damage also nice, Bobby?” Walker asked slapping his shoulder he walked out.
“She say anything about what happened?” Bucky asked. Bob shook his head.
“Field technicians have almost finished sorting the scene anyways. We should have some idea of why the building collapsed anyways.” he told Bob. “Thanks for sitting with her. I didn’t know her well back then, but, I can say ten years ago she was a very different gal.”
“She’s the same.” Bob wore a serious expression. “It’s just on the outside.” Bucky made an unreadable expression.
“I’m gonna go check in. Thanks again Bob.”
On the other set of mats across the gym was where Ava and Yelena were he stepped up to them, his toes 2 inches from the mats’ edge.
“There you are, Bob.” Ava greeted as she phased out and back in avoiding Yelena’s attack. She groaned in annoyance.
“Stop that!”
“I was greeting bob.”
Yelena paused, her breathing heavy. “Hi Bob.” Jumping head first into the topic bob spoke up, “I was sitting with her.” Yelena’s eyes shifted to the floor. “Bucky said that we had to be her Google.” He said toying with his sleeve.
“Is that where you’ve been?” Ava asked, he nodded. “Well now that you’re here, you can play punching bag.” She phased out and back in also patting his shoulder before phasing back out of the room.
Yelena muttered under her breath as Ava literally ghosted them, “Suka.”
“Um she asked me a question I don’t know how to answer.” He said simply.
“Oh yeah?” Yelena asked. “She ask why Walker’s shield looks like a taco, yet?”
“She asked me if you hated her.” Yelena stalled, she dropped her shoulders. “I didn’t answer that one.” he rushed out. “um, uh obviously.”
Yelena broke their eye contact as she walked off the mat towards her things. “I don’t.”
“Oh.” Bob seemed surprised. “You guys just always- so I thought- we all-”
“I do not hate her.” Yelena looked over her shoulder at him to make sure he understood that before turning back to her things. “I don’t think I ever hated her. I” her voice lost its confidence and she took another breath. “I am jealous of her.” She finished. The weight of finally saying those words to another living being lifted off her shoulders. Bob was quiet.
“She was one of The Avengers. And she got so much time with my sister.” Yelena blinked tears away from her vision. She could feel his eyes on her back. “And when everyone blipped back. My sister was dead and i saw her again, alive,” she paused, not knowing the exact words she wanted to say. “I was upset.” She breathed in a shaky voice. “Upset that so many Avengers let Natalia down. People that my sister cared so much for and they all just allowed her to go out and die.”
“Did you ever talk to her?” Yelena huffed out a laugh at his question.
“Of course not, I know it was not her fault.” Bob heard her sniffling before she turned to face him. “She never deserved the way I have treated her. Besides she doesn’t even remember it now and I,” she took a shaky inhale as her bottom lip wobbled biting down on it. Bob moved the small distance to wrap her in a hug.
“She’s being so nice to me.” Yelena said quietly.
“She is nice.” Bob said.
“She’s always such a bitch.”
“Is she?” He raised an eyebrow. Bob only knew you as the girl who helped him make dinner. Who rolled her eyes but was the first to help clean up a broken glass or dropped food. Who wanders into the kitchen and starts the dirty dishes when someone is still cooking. Who helped john with setting up visitations with his son. You were very nice, just very hardened. like Yelena.
“No.” she sighed before admitting you were not a bitch. “I met her before I was blipped.” Bob stayed quiet as Yelena resumed packing up.
“She was good friend to my sister.”
“Then why haven’t you guys talked about it?” She laughed and shook her head, grabbing her water bottle. “You’re more than welcome, but I burned that bridge too long ago to fix it.” Yelena isn’t even sure how to go about apologizing for her behavior that you have no memory of
“I don’t think it’s too late, but i don’t think she should hear it from me.”
⚰︎ 48 hour observation was up and the med staff was sure you were not going to stroke out, they released you. The tower was different. It felt like going into a different location of a grocery store that you usually don’t go to. It’s all the same but it’s all wrong.
All wrong because all your friends are dead. Bucky had sat you in the living area while he made lunch, you weren’t sure where anyone else was. Bob had mentioned that everyone was giving you space. They didn’t want to confuse you right away since you didn’t know who they were.
“Here.” Bucky handed you a plate. You thanked him. He cut the sandwich into six pieces knowing your jaw and lip were still sore. You had asked for the sandwich though, you were sick of hospital food. you were very thankful for the coffee and muffin Yelena had dropped by. The same you mysteriously woke up to this morning before you were discharged.
Down the hall you could hear loud arguing getting louder by the second. three voices, all talking over each other, one of them Yelena. bucky looked at you seeing your pain tinted expression.
“This is normal.” He sighed.
As soon as the three stepped into the room Bucky had them quiet with a simple glare. Bob was following them. “Inside voices while she’s in the room guys.”
They let out a chorus of sorrys. Bucky had already explained who was who, but you don’t remember much of that conversation so Bob went over it again briefly earlier.
“How are you feeling?” Ava asked as bob sat down beside you.
“Weird.” You answered honestly.
“Yeah weird to see you be so giddy.” As soon as the words left John’s mouth everyone looked to him like he killed someone.
“Oof, well that doesn’t sound good.” You looked at everyone.
“You just smile a lot.” John pushed out.
“Oh?” You questioned. “Smiling is bad now?”
“Good job, Walker.” Yelena walked past him to the kitchenette.
“You can’t say shit.”
“Guys.” Bucky sighed.
“I did not say a word to her.”
“Maybe you should.”
“Why would I take advice from you?”
“Because she-”
“She is in the room with you.” You spoke up. “And would like to be included in the conversation.” Your head fully throbbed as you raised your voice. Everyone stayed quiet. “Am I like the Grim Reaper? or something?” You asked looking at the group. Your eyes settled on Ava, feeling like she would give you an honest response.
“Me?” You nodded. “You’re just very smiley.” Ava said slowly.
“I see.”
“It’s not a bad thing.” Bucky followed her statement. “It’s just different.“
“Does anyone have any words besides different and smile?” Bucky ended the conversation before anyone could say anything more.
⚰︎ NEXT PART ⋆ mixtape ⋆ series m.list ⋆ m.list ⋆ y.b. m.list
⚰︎ chapter tags: flashbacks are italicized ⋆ sapphic ⋆ reader nondescript ⋆ no use of y/n ⋆ enemies to lovers ⋆ amnesia trope ⋆ blood/injury ⋆ angst ⋆ yelena doesn’t understand how she feels ⋆ reader was an original avenger ⋆ ignore any spelling or grammar mistakes i will probably find them later ⋆ images are not mine ⋆ graphics are mine ⋆ word count: 1.8k
⚰︎ bones now playing ▹ mad - reneé rapp ⋆
⚰︎ yelena hated you. you hated yelena… sort of.
⚰︎ Drip. Drip.
The sharp repetitive sound of the water cut through the silence. It helped you ground yourself. What was happening? Where were you again? Your thoughts were clouded. Your body hurt and your face was wet, unknown to you at the time but from the past rain of the sprinklers and from your own blood.
You forced your eyes to open and adjust to the dark and the flickering yellow light on the far side of the room. Next you forced your body to move, and tried to reach around for your baton or gun. Whatever you could grab first. Unfortunately that first thing was a body. The shock seemed to melt some of your consciousness back into place and you scrambled backwards hitting a concrete slab. As air rushed in and out of your lungs your ribs flared in pained protest. The ruble in front of you must have came from above. you squinted into the shadows above you but you couldn’t see much of anything. It was dark. probably nighttime.
You had zero idea where you were or how you got here. Your vision tinted and you tried to wipe at your eye but found it swollen, and your hand came back covered in more blood. Feeling your consciousness begin slipping again, you moved as fast as you could manage. Pushing yourself between the shelving was the best your brain could do for structural stability and cover before you blacked back out.
⚰︎ “It’s already been 7 hours.” John said. “We have to start Plan B.”
“Plan B only works if plan a didn’t.” Ava sat next to him. “And can we stop calling it that?”
John scoffed at her. “Well we don’t know if Plan A worked now do we?” Walker muttered bitterly.
“Shut the Hell up.” Yelena growled out. She didn’t need walker to point it out, She was already blaming herself for this. In a way it was sort of her fault. You didn’t miss your check in, Yelena hung up the call.
Yelena made a comment that launched into the two of you bickering during mission start again. She was just trying to get under your skin. but you never called back within the minute and when she called you. no answer. A repeated no answer.
Your last known location was a bust, so was the safe house.
You officially are MIA. and Yelena could only stew on how it was all her fault. She should have just answered instead of picking a fight like a child, but that’s just how you two were. Oil and water.
After chasing a lead down they were able to pick up what you had most likely gotten involved in. The intel turned out to be on a domestic terrorist cell with a modified bio weapon intended some large event in Texas. And it had already left New York. If you had a lead on it that meant you were also out of New York. Or worse, dead. Bucky was waiting on a contact to confirm the route.
“12 hour mark.” Walker spoke looking at his phone. Yelena was silent as she stared out the window. 12 hours of Yelena brooding. 12 hours of blaming. 12 hours of thinking about everything that was happening to you.
You didn’t like solo missions. Yelena knew you hated them. You hated being alone, you hated being left out. She remembers the double edged conversation from the last mission you were dispatched on together. Where you said you hated being alone so much that you would rather be paired with her than be alone. And Yelena had the fucking nerve to tell you she didn’t want you there at all.
Now all she had to think about was never seeing you again.
Your feud was stupid, it wasn’t even something on solid ground. You had met Yelena through her sister Natalia, then after the Blip, after her sister’s death, you were suddenly something Yelena couldn’t stomach.
The real reason Yelena hated you was something that wasn’t even your fault, something you had no control over. You had stayed by natasha during the blip helping her keep shield running. Yelena was jealous. Jealous that you got the time with her sister that was unfairly ripped from her. And you seemed clueless as to why. Your sadness turned to anger which only morphed into resentment.
You were an avenger and a friend to natasha and she cared for you, Yelena knew that. She talked about you with a smile and told Yelena that you two would get along. And now you were probably dead as well. something precious to Natalia ruined by her.
⚰︎ 13 hours hit. And finally at 15 hours and 37 minutes. Bucky was rushing through the doors. Yelena’s breath stalled as heart leapt into the back of her throat.
“Got a location.” Everyone was moving before his sentence was finished. Yelena wanted to ask questions, but her guilt weighed them down. Bucky might not have the answers anyways.
According to Bucky’s contact, the brigade never made it to the second check in. The first set of route coordinates lead to an abandoned military station. The team followed the tire tracks to an old structure. “Spread out.” Bucky instructed. “Keep quiet.”
Ava and John began to check the abandoned vehicles, Yelena and Bucky moved forward to the building. He called out your name through the cracked door. He used his vibranium arm to grip the metal and pull it open.
Inside, the concrete of the top floor had came down and busted through the ground floor. A massive hole in the center of the room "Hey, watch the floor.” Bucky warned. There were four guards dead to the left of the door at the top of where the metal staircase began.
Yelena stepped forward to observe the hole the concrete had put in the floor. Below was an even more gruesome scene. Pieces of human remains and equipment scattered in between the chunks and slabs. Yelena’s eyes locked onto a piece of your equipment in the hand of some fallen man. “Bucky.” She pulled his attention to the baton.
Bucky called your name again, getting no responses they made their way to the stairs stepping over the bodies. Bucky clicked on his flashlight searching among the bodies and ruble. He watched Yelena pick up your gear.
“This is her’s, she has to be here.” She paused. “If you come out, I promise to never make fun of your cooking again.”
“Really? ”Bucky let out a gruff.
“Yes really, she is a good cook. It makes her very upset.” Yelena said simply, continuing to look around.
Bucky was skimming over the walls when his eyes caught on the small finger smear of blood. He scanned through again doubling back to where you had your hand in front of your face blocking your eyes from the harsh light of the flash.
⚰︎ Amnesia. That’s what the med staff told Bucky. Most likely temporary with the head injury.
“How is she?” Bob asked nervously. Bucky sighed.
“Just had to tell her that half the people she loves are dead or awol.” He rubbed a hand down his face. “She’s doing really well.”
“So, she doesn’t know who we are?” Ava concluded, Bucky nodded.
“She barely knows me and she’s basing all her trust in me on her trust in Steve, who I then had to tell her jumped back in time.”
He sarcastically laughed, his eyes focusing on Yelena. “Have we all learned a lesson here?” She looked at the wall ahead of her.
“I looked at her call logs.” She was still silent. “You ended the call.”
“I know.” She said.
“Yelena.”
“I didn’t mean-“
“Didn’t mean what? You didn’t mean to act like a child? Now your team mate almost died and we’ve lost our intel because the girl who has it thinks it’s 2017.” He sighed.
“Everyone get some sleep. We debrief tomorrow morning.”
Yelena had hung around the Med Bay. She wanted to go in and see you, not that she knew what to say. You didn’t even know who she was right now. To you she was probably just the replacement Black Widow that nearly got you killed.
“The nurses said you were out here still.” Yelena heard your tired voice. You were standing against the metal doorway holding an IV pole, three different drip bags connected to you. Your left leg was in a brace, but you were standing on it anyways, putting your weight on the good leg. Typical of you. There was a bandage on your forehead above your bruised eye. Various tape and butterfly bandages scattered your exposed skin.
“Yelena, right?” She nodded still not saying anything. “I’m sorry, this must be weird.” Your split lip curled into a smile. “James, er Bucky explained the mission to me. And he said you were beating yourself up about it.”
The way he had phrased it made it seem like you would enjoy the knowledge, but it twisted a pit inside of your chest you didn’t like. “I don’t want you to feel bad about it. You only hung up on me, you didn’t drop a couple thousand tons of concrete on me. Which ranks like the best worst thing that’s happened to me today I suppose.”
Amnesia you was very kind. The guilt in Yelena’s chest dank deeper.
“I’m sorry, if I didn’t- “
“No sorry’s. We can play butterfly affect all night long if you want but it would still end absolutely nowhere.” Yelena stayed silent.
“You should sleep.” You suggested with a smile.
“You can feel refreshed and guilty tomorrow morning.” Yelena obeyed but didn’t sleep much. She had a nightmare about you in that ruble. You had narrowly avoided such a horrific death that would have been her cause. Another meaningless death on her hands like that is something Yelena couldn’t have lived with. She was up early the next morning, Yelena went back to see you. With you your favorite breakfast and coffee.
“It’s early, you didn’t sleep much did you?” You asked from where you sat on the bed, tablet in hand. Yelena shook her head. “Me neither, just lost a decade and I wasn’t even blipped.” You giggled pushing the heel of your palm to your non bruised eye.
“You’re really not angry with me?” Yelena asked you closing the door behind her. You shrugged. “If I stayed angry about anything that’s done and over with, especially now, my brain is going to melt. I'm just happy to be alive.” Yelena sat the food and coffee on your table. “For me?” She nodded while you thanked her.
You sniffed the coffee quizzically. Yelena then remembered this was probably different usual coffee than when you remember. “Uh- it’s what you usually make.” She said before explaining your process. You hummed taking a small sip.
“This is so strange, but i’m patting myself on the back for this one.” You sat in silence and ate half the food before asking her the ugly question she had been waiting for.
“Yelena, are we friends?”
⚰︎ NEXT PART ⋆ mixtape ⋆ series m.list ⋆ m.list ⋆ y.b. m.list
this is an extensive list (in order of fic length) honestly doing this mostly for myself lol cause i reread these so often, thank you to all the authors for your fics <3
especially my fave joaquin fic authors: @love-chx @sortagaysortahigh @geminiwritten @cursedheartsclub @of-apollo please read their fics beyond the ones listed below!! <3
p.s. please let me know if you would like me to remove your work from the list <3
personal favourites - 💗
friday night dinner by @love-chx // roommate!series // fluff // jealous!joaquin 💗
your roommate ambushes you in your own home with congressman bucky and captain america sam. chaos ensues as joaquin convinces you to let them stay for dinner.
tell me i'm your national anthem by @love-chx // roommate!series // fluff 💗
fourth of july party
stakeout by @sunsburns // fluff // bestfriends-to-lovers, slight jealous!joaquin 💗
only you, only you by @of-apollo // fluff // pbjj!au, mutual pining 💗 You and Joaquin have spent a long time dancing around your feelings for each other. It doesn’t help that he might just be the most oblivious man alive. Luckily, your friends are relentless in their efforts to get you together.
swimming pools by @mindfulsweetheart // fluff // pbjj!au 💗
joaquín takes care of you after a night out with friends leads you right to his doorstep.
gazes by @joaquinwhorres // fluff, suggestive // mutual pining 💗
It's become increasingly apparent to Sam and Bucky that you and Joaquin cannot take your eyes off each other. Unfortunately for them, you two have decided to be Professionals and that means keeping your eyes, hands, and lips to yourselves. No matter how difficult it is.
only exes in the building by @snoopysupe // fluff, angst // exes-to-lovers, mutual pining 💗
you only had two months left on your lease with your ex
Nobody Gets Me by @sortagaysortahigh // angst, hurt/no comfort, no happy ending // exes, jealous!joaquin 💗
Getting married young had its risks, unfortunately for you and Joaquin, that marriage didn't work out, it's been years since you've been in contact, so why do your hearts still ache?
trick or treating by @magicalqueennightmare // fluff // established relationship
You and Joaquin take Sarah's boys trick or treating for her
A Hard Day by @emeraldserenade // fluff // roommate!au, friends-to-lovers
You had a hard day and Joaquín's there for you
Meeting the Roommates by @everydaydreamer // fluff // pbjj!au, slight jealous!joaquin, established relationship
Joaquin, your boyfriend, brings you over and introduces you to his roommates.
clueless by @munsonify // fluff // friends-to-lovers
you and joaquin are practically dating, and the only people who don’t seem to realize that is you two.
Miss Possessive by @petertingle-yipyip // fluff // jealous!reader
So what if you were a little possessive? No one got hurt.
The 5 Times Joaquín's Outfits Left You Speechless (and the one time you returned the favour) by @mrs-elsie-barnes // fluff, slight angst // coworkers Joaquín absolutely loves showing off in front of you, but he doesn't have to try hard to leave your mouth dry and your brain void of words. You're fairly sure he's just teasing, until his accident forces your feelings to the fore.
figure me out by @utopeian // fluff, angst, hurt/comfort // friends-to-lovers, jealous!reader
Being jealous and avoidant was no fun, but it was definitely one way to get with the guy you've been pining over for years.
Bed Chem by @sunshine-lux // fluff, extremely suggestive
the four times you made Joaquin speechless and the one time he got you back!
plus one by @fireinmoonshot // fluff, suggestive // established relationship
You help Joaquín get ready for a gala that he and Sam are attending – though because of the 'no plus ones' rule, Joaquín would rather stay with you instead... and he intends to convince you to let him.
means i care by @flowersforbucky // fluff, slight angst // friends-to-lovers, pining, enhanced!reader
"You were dead, Joaquín. Your heart wasn't beating when I pulled you from that water." He grins, taking your hand in his. He brings it to his lips and presses a soft kiss to your knuckles. “Well, it’s beating now. Because of you. But what’s new? My heart always beats for you.”
hover by @peterparkive // fluff, slightly suggestive // jealous!joaquin, established relationship
you just want to enjoy one good night out with your friends, your boyfriend, and some dangerously good cocktails—but some guys never learned to take a hint. luckily for you, joaquin’s never been shy when it comes to reminding everyone that you’re completely and utterly spoken for
oh, so pathetic! by @of-apollo // fluff // college!au, situationship!au, jealous!joaquin
Both you and Joaquin think that you’re more than happy with whatever you have being undefined. And then, Joaquin is the first to crumble (quite pathetically) and confess everything when he sees you flirting with someone else at a party.
Project Aphrodite by @happypopcornprincess // fluff, slight angst // holiday!au
When the Avengers get tired of watching you and Joaquin dance around your feelings for each other, they take matters into their own hands.
"I Don't Know If I Wanna Be You or Him." by @dameronspector // fluff
You finally get a chance to meet your idol. Your boyfriend is a massive fan as well. The two of you have a blast and receive an offer that you wouldn't dream of passing on. Joaquin experiences a confusing mix of emotions and you, Sam and Joaquin get the celebrity treatment.
everything, everywhere by @myladybelle // fluff, angst, suggestive // bestfriends-to-lovers, mutual pining
being long-distance best friends with joaquín isn’t easy now that you’re on different teams. the more you talk, tease, and lean on each other, the clearer it becomes that friendship might not be enough for you anymore.
forget it by @sunsburns // angst with happy ending // exes-to-lovers reuniting with ex!joaquín after his near death experience, but you’re the nurse assigned to his care after he gets out of surgery. you broke up a couple years ago because of your very demanding careers, and you don’t see him until you realize they put YOU on babysitting duty to nurse him back to health, yikes!
Sunshine by @sortagaysortahigh // fluff, suggestive // enemies-to-lovers, grumpy x sunshine, college!au, pining
Joaquin Torres had a reputation to upkeep, one that wasn't entirely accurate, but it was easier to fake the front. Or at least it was, until he realized he was falling for you, but you wanted nothing to do with that version of him OR Joaquin Torres pins after you, showing you who he really is, and you finally let him in.
smut warning below! 18+ mdni!
fall apart by @moonlight-pro // smut // established relationship 💗
distractions were best kept under wraps. even as joaquin blindly allowed you to toy with him at the worst possible moment. OR giving joaquin nasty head during his phone call with sam.
concentrate by @joequiinn // smut // established relationship 💗 You're stuck on an important business call, and Joaquin is making it incredibly difficult to stay focused...
roommate's helping hand by @jordiemeow // smut // roommate!au 💗 after his injury in cabnw, he’s super horny but it hurts his arm to jerk off :( so ofc reader notices how moody he is from being so pent up and he begs them to help him when confronted
Taste by @sortagaysortahigh // smut, fluff, slight angst // exes-to-lovers 💗
Desk duty at the Avengers compound was simple work, but throw in your obnoxious ex-boyfriend Joaquin, and a plant from a different planet, and you have a whole other problem on your hands.
you've got mail by @love-chx // roommate!series // smut, fluff, angst // jealous!reader 💗
when joaquin gets a letter from an old friend from bootcamp, some unsuspecting feelings start to arise in you—feelings that you didn’t think you had for your dear roommate. you try to brush it off, to return to some semblance of normalcy in your shared home. but when joaquin sends you pictures from his catch up with his dear old friend, something hot and possessive stirs inside of you. and this time, you can’t ignore it.
Already Best Friends by @cursedheartsclub // smut, fluff // friends-to-lovers, roommate!au. jealous!joaquin, pining 💗
almost wasn't by @cursedheartsclub // smut, fluff, slight angst // friends-to-lovers, mutual pining 💗
You and Joaquin have been best friends since the Air Force—shoulders pressed side by side through deployments, shitty rations, late-night confessions, and every almost that never became something more. You’ve seen him fall in and out of love. He’s seen you pretend you don’t need more than friendship. You date other people. You go on double dates. But every time, you end up right back next to each other—too close, too familiar, too full of everything you won’t say. Until one night, everything breaks open. And it turns out, the only thing worse than wanting him all this time… is realizing he’s always wanted you too.
safehouse by @geminiwritten // smut, fluff // slight jealous!joaquin 💗
you're an ex-assassin trained by hawkeye and black widow, and your old friend sam needs your help on a mission alongside his new protege... but things don't go exactly to plan and you end up indefinitely stuck in a safehouse with joaquín.
no promise of tomorrow by @love-chx // smut, angst // situationship!au 💗
you and joaquin work together and have sex--two entirely separate parts of your lives. but when you suddenly as for more one day, joaquin falters. a week long mission where another man captures your attention makes joaquin regret the words he doesn't say. but does it really change anything?
all maps lead to you by @love-chx // sequel to no promise of tomorrow // smut, fluff, angst // situationship!au 💗
though the post-haze of your last mission with joaquin has yet to settle and the storm between the two of you has barely started to form, you’re thrown into another battle front at the behest of bucky. thankfully, this time, you have a shield who goes by the name of bob. but…you might be the only one who’s grateful for his presence. between bob’s soft demeanor and joaquin’s tough exterior, you worry you might not make it through this mission.
friends don't by @geminiwritten // smut, fluff // roommate!au, fwb, jealous!joaquin 💗
it was only ever supposed to be casual. convenient. roommates with benefits—two rules: no kissing, no falling in love. but when joaquín returns from a week-long mission and his mother comes to stay, tensions rise, jealousy snaps, boundaries blur, and breaking those rules becomes inevitable.
kinktober day 23 by @cursedheartsclub // smut, fluff // friends-to-lovers, coworkers 💗
praise kink
roommates to lovers by @cursedheartsclub // smut, fluff // roommate!au, blurb
World Saving Deserves A Reward by @sunflowerlando // smut
Joaquín is back from another mission, and you want to thank him for always being out there trying to save the world.
Friends Don't Hook Up by @emeraldserenade // smut, fluff // bestfriends-to-lovers
A night changes everything after you and Joaquín finally give into the sexual tension.
Hot, Bothered and Tactical by @fireside-fanfics // smut, fluff // established relationship
Thrist Trap by @hauntedhowlett-writes // smut // friends-to-lovers
joaquin accidentally sends you a shirtless selfie
real love purified by @utopeian // smut, fluff
Joaquin's obsessed with the fact that you were soulmates in your past lives, even more so that there's evidence of it: your moles.
A Little Distraction by @blank-potato // smut // coworkers
It's been a while since you've gotten laid, and it's starting to affect your concentration. It especially doesn't help when the person you're training is Joaquin Torres.
never late is better by @luvemmdubb // smut, fluff, slight angst // established relationship
Joaquín is late for your anniversary dinner.
lending a helping hand by @love-chx // roommate!series // smut // fwb
a big client’s request for a custom art piece has clouded your mind the past few weeks, leaving you stressed and tensed. it was a pain to be around, so joaquin had no choice but to confront you and support you. he’ll help you get unblocked, he insists, no matter how creative it gets.
Me Rehúso by @therogueflame // smut, angst, hurt/comfort // exes
It was just a drink. Just catching up. Just a little too late to call it nothing.
Redamancy by @phantomspiderr // smut, fluff, angst // fwb
The aftermath of sleeping with your best friend is never good—feelings grow where they weren't supposed to, and it drives a wedge in your relationship. Then things change...
Mi Amor, Mi Guerra by @cursedheartsclub // smut, angst, fluff // (one-sided) enemies-to-lovers, thunderbolts*
thunderbolts and sams avengers team are working together (sambucky no longer divorced) but y/n and Joaquin are both fighting to see who is better in Sam’s eyes?
woman in the chair by @kikismultifics // smut, fluff // mutual pining, enhanced!reader
after a scare from Joaquin on a mission, and you're forced to patch him up (because he's too stubborn to get properly looked at), you realize that maybe your feelings for the new Falcon goes beyond just caring for him like a friend. When he realizes that you are in much need of a carefree night full of alcohol, you're forced to confront your feelings—as well as his.
sin ti by @moonlight-prose // smut, fluff, angst // exes-to-lovers, pining
five years have passed. five years since he boarded a plane and left you behind to wait diligently for the man who would never return. when letters and patchy phone calls failed to keep the spark of your relationship alive, you find each other again. only this time as two entirely different people.
welcome home by @love-chx // smut, fluff, angst // exes-to-lovers
drifting from state to state looking for a place in the world after the death of tony, you find yourself back on new york ground when bucky starts the new avengers. coming back to cement your dad’s legacy, you promise yourself you’ll be out of the city before anyone even knows you’re there. but circumstances lead you right to joaquin, and you’re forced to face your hurt ex-boyfriend, having no choice but to confront everything you left behind.
heavy by @love-chx // smut, fluff, angst
you’ve worked with joaquin a lot over the years, from the military to his career as the falcon, as his physical therapist. as easy as joaquin was as a patient, it was hard. hard because he was such a shameless flirt, hard because he was so charming—but you’ve always been friends and nothing more. after the events of the red hulk, joaquin finds himself having a harder time recovering than usual despite having you by his side. a slip of the tongue leads to a fight that leaves the both of you tense, but all is forgiven when you find yourselves in an attack and confessions come to a head.
Jealousy, Jealousy by @sortagaysortahigh // smut, fluff, angst // enemies-to-lovers, witch!reader
It was as if every single thing you did irritated Joaquin Torres, you didn't even have to say anything to him, your presence alone was enough to tick him off. Don't get him started on your relationship with Peter Parker either.
en español by @geminiwritten // smut, fluff // friends-to-lovers
after joaquín returns from a two-week-long mission things feel different, then he convinces you to go undercover with him where tensions rise—only for him to leaving you wanting more... until he stops by your office for a very intimate spanish lesson
Slim Pickins by @sortagaysortahigh // smut, fluff
Every Friday for the past few months you've been going on shitty dates, and at this rate, you're convinced that you're either ending this life alone or settling for another douchebag. You can't find a genuinely good guy, it's not like there's one right in front of you or something!
Garden by @sortagaysortahigh // smut, angst
Y/n Y/l/n and Joaquin Torres had spent their entire childhood together, but growing up meant growing apart, and when travesty after travesty struck the world, their paths couldn't have been more polarized. But sometimes paths are meant to be crossed again, and there's always a chance for change.
Summary: It’s your birthday and the people at the Baxter Building make it special.
A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! Probably the most selfindulgent thing that I’ve ever written, but it is a present to myself so...not sorry. Taking inspiration from when I was five and would imagine myself as part of the fantastic family, funny how playing pretend evolved into writing fanfiction.
Navigation
You woke up without your usual alarm, but also without your boyfriend, his side of the bed unusually cold. The door opened and the cute robot assistant of the family walked bringing a tray with a warm coffee for you.
“Morning H.E.R.B.I.E” you smiled sitting up on the bed “is that for me?”
H.E.R.B.I.E replied with a few beeps, his characteristic sound. “Yes it is” you understood “happy birthday!”
“Thank you so much H.E.R.B.I.E” you said, taking the coffee in your hands “you don't happen to know where Johnny is, do you?”
The robot shook his head “no” a faint noise coming out of him, also answering your question. He left your room and you smiled at him. You loved H.E.R.B.I.E and everyone at the Baxter Building so much.
You got up and made your way to the kitchen nursing your cup of coffee in both hands, Ben's loud voice and Franklin's giggling became louder with each step.
“Good morning!” You greeted.
Franklin's head turned into your direction, almost vibrating with excitement. He was 6 years old and already wise beyond his years, however, a childhood charm still shone in his eyes.
“Aunt Y/N!” Franklin ran towards you, almost tackling you with a hug “happy birthday!”
“Thank you so much” you laughed.
“Let her breathe little man” Ben chuckled “why don't you go get her that drawing you made?”
Franklin ran to get his drawing out of his school bag. Ben continued cooking breakfast for everyone, but first he prepared a plate for you.
“Sorry ‘bout that” Ben told you “Johnny said you'd be sleeping in today.”
“Where is he anyways?” You asked, taking a seat in front of him, while he focused on getting breakfast ready for everyone.
“I don't know” Ben said honestly “he ran out of here earlier today. It was weird seeing him up and running that early to be honest.”
Franklin ran back to the kitchen, a piece of paper on his hand
“I made this in my art class for you” Franklin excitedly said showing you his drawing “it's all of us on your birthday!”
The drawing had you in the middle and Franklin right next to you. Ben, Sue, Reed and even H.E.R.B.I.E and an orange man up in the sky, you didn't need an explanation to know that he was supposed to be Johnny.
“It says happy birthday in orange cause Johnny wrote it in the sky for you!” Franklin explained.
“It's lovely. My favorite birthday gift ever” you hugged him.
“I'm glad I got to see you before school” Franklin continued talking “Johnny said you wouldn't wake up early cause he turned off your alarm.”
Ben laughed at the boy's sincerity and lack of filter, he placed plates full of food in front of you and Franklin.
“Is that so?” You asked him.
The boy nodded “I wanted to give you my drawing before school, but he said he made sure you'd wake up later.”
The elevator doors opened. You could see Johnny with a paper bag on one hand and your favorite flowers on the other, he was looking down so he couldn't see you were already up.
“Ben! Do you have her breakfast ready?” Johnny asked, still not paying attention to the kitchen “I want to surprise her with…breakfast…in bed.”
“Morning my love” you smiled “are those for me?”
“You're supposed to be asleep” Johnny said as Ben laughed at his reaction “I even…”
“Turned off my alarm?” You finished “yep Franklin here got me up to date on that.”
“Dude, come on!” Johnny almost whined “that was meant to be a secret.
Sue and Reed entered the kitchen to check on their son and make sure he was ready for school.
“Hey sweetheart” Sue greeted you “happy birthday, I hope Johnny hasn't given you trouble today.”
“I did wake up alone today so I’d say that was my first birthday gift” you teased.
“Hey!” Johnny said, almost offended.
“Hope you have a great day” Reed said quickly hugging you “we'll see you later. Say goodbye to Y/N, little man. We have to go.”
“Bye Y/N” one last hug and he was on his way to school.
Ben busied himself with cleaning up the kitchen while Johnny sat next to you.
“So what were your plans?”
“First let you sleep in, then surprise you with your favorite cookies, flowers and breakfast in bed” Johnny explained “I woke up extra early to get to the bakery as soon as it was opened…you ruined it all by waking up.”
“Well it's hard to sleep without you now” you told him “I got used to your unusual heat by my side.”
“Just for that you are forgiven” Johnny said booing your nose.
…
Johnny also had a day planned at Coney Island. He took you there for your first day and you loved every second of it. Johnny had charmed you that day, you started seeing him in a different light and flash forward three years later you fell in love with him and moved into the Baxter Building.
The day had been perfect. He wasn't trying to recreate your first date, at least not on purpose yet you felt the exact same feelings you had that day.
“Come on, let's go home” Johnny said once the sun started to set.
“You aren't proposing today, are you?” You teased.
“What-what makes you think that?” Johnny stammered, stopping on his tracks.
“Well, today's my birthday and the day has been a bit too perfect” you explained pulling his hand “the perfect ending might be a proposal.”
“While I do want to marry you” Johnny started “it's not happening today doll.”
“No?” you asked, not disappointed just surprised.
“Nope” Johnny confirmed “like you said this was a perfect day, I planned it for you and proposing today? Well that might be too predictable.”
He leaned to get a kiss from you “I assure you that when I get you that ring you won't see it coming…now let's go home Franklin really wanted to see you before his bedtime.”
Now it was your turn to follow him to the car, expecting nothing waiting for you at the Baxter Building, maybe changing into your pajamas and cuddling to Johnny's side and watching movies until you fell asleep, that sounded right.
The last thing you expected was a full Sunday dinner…on a Wednesday night.
“Right on time!” Ben said once he saw you walk out the elevator “birthday girl is here!”
“What's this?” You laughed “it's not Sunday…”
“Johnny here mentioned that your favorite moment of the week is family dinner” Sue said “we figured we could do one special dinner just for you today.”
Johnny grabbed your hand and guided you towards your seat, Franklin rushed to get the seat right next to yours.
“Franklin insisted on sitting next to you today” Reed told you “we have all your favorite dishes as well.”
“And for dessert cake!” Franklin said excitedly.
“I-I don't know what to say” you whispered a sudden wave of emotion hitting you “thank you so much.”.
Johnny sat in the other chair next to you, giving you a huge kiss on the side of your head. It was a nice day, and you couldn't have asked for more from your family.
A/N 2: Shout out to @anaevanss, cause she told me her birthday is also today so happy birthday!
hii can i request a joaquin x reader set at a party in joaquin’s apartment where the reader is in love with joaquin but he’s oblivious but everyone else knows? thank you <3
pay more attention | joaquin torres x reader
summary: everyone and their mothers know that you’re in love with joaquin ever since who knows when, yet the only one who hasn’t have a clue about it is joaquin himself.
content warnings: 3.1k, fem!reader, reader yearns too much, fluff, alcohol consumption, kissing, getting caught by poor bucky
FROM JOAQUIN @ 3:23 P.M. - are you still going to my party tonight?
When you watch that single notification pop up on the screen, your heart flips. Because of course it does. Every little thing that he does or is mentioned in makes your chest go nuts.
Yet you pick up the device with a sigh, opening the text feed and reply back.
FROM Y/N @ 3:25 P.M. - of course i am
FROM Y/N @ 3:25 P.M. - am i still able to come a bit early?
Joaquin's reply came as swiftly as you sent yours.
FROM JOAQUIN @ 3:25 P.M. - yeah for sure
FROM JOAQUIN @ 3:25 P.M. - sam and isaiah is gonna be there a bit early too if you're cool with that
FROM Y/N @ 3:26 P.M. - i'm good with that
FROM JOAQUIN @ 3:26 P.M. - alright, great
FROM JOAQUIN @ 3:26 P.M. - just let me know when you’re on the way :)
FROM Y/N @ 3:27 P.M. - okayy
You place your phone back down on the kitchen counter, letting a sigh escape. Three hours to get ready, or more like three hours to prepare your heart to jot have a heart attack.
Ever since you have met Joaquin during a mission two years ago, your body basically developed a liking for him, and then you started to like him a bit too much. It came to the point where with every mention of the name Joaquin—even if it wasn’t the Joaquin you knew—your body hummed in a way that you wanted to experience more of it. It was like an addiction you didn’t want to get rid of.
“Dude, stop daydreaming,” your roommate, Rebecca, snaps her fingers in your face, and you instantly glance back at her, rolling your eyes.
“Well, what do you expect me to do?” you ask a moment later, taking a step back from the counter as you raid your fridge.
Rebecca crosses her arms, hip resting against the counter. “Uh, to do something about it instead of just standing there and doing nothing?”
With a sigh, you look over your shoulder, finding her eyes. “I can’t,”
“Why?”
Looking back into the fridge, your hand reaches towards a bottle of water as you say, “Because it’s kind of obvious he doesn’t feel the same way.”
“Oh my God,” she groans, head hanging down.
“What, it's true!” You whip your head her way, slamming the fridge door shut. “I literally tried to make a move once, and he took it as a joke!”
“That’s because his oblivious ass doesn’t know the difference.” She retorts, then sighs. “Look, this has been happening for way too long, and I am personally sick of it, along with the hundred other people who know. So if you don’t do something about it tonight, I’ll do it myself."
“Wait, what?” Your eyes bulge out, and you take a deliberate step forward. “No, you can't. I won’t let you!”
“Well, too fucking bad.” Rebecca crosses her arms. “If you come back to this apartment with a frown on your face, I will walk down the street to his place and give him a big fat paragraph about how you like him and how he hasn’t noticed a single thing.”
You can only stare at her, standing incredibly still. Rebecca has always been the one to actually convince you to do these types of things. And honestly, you love it about her, because it gets you to realize that the world may not be what it seems like in your mind. Once in a while, it doesn’t go your way or hers, but at least you were given the guts to do it and not be a baby.
Pressing your lips together, your shoulders slump as you sigh. "I'll try to do something tonight."
The grin on her face is immediate. "Great," she nods her head toward the hall. "Now go get ready for your man."
With a roll of your eyes, a chuckle leaves you, and you shake your head. You walk past her, a soft fine coming out, and you make your way down the hall.
And hours later, you walk out like a different person.
Before you got ready, your hair was a mess, not a single piece of makeup stuck to your face, and you still had your pyjamas on. But now, you look stunning, with a pair of tight blue jeans cropped over your legs with a black tube top wrapped around your torso like it's meant to be there. You even styled your hair into slight curls that bounce with each step.
When Rebecca sees you, she audibly gasps. "Oh my God, you look so good."
A shy smile curls on your face. "Thanks,"
"What time are you going over?" She asks a second later.
You shrug your shoulders, looking over at the digital clock on the stove. "Probably around six,"
"Hm," she nods, picking up her phone and tapping on the screen. "Well, get ready to get munched."
That barks a laugh out of you. “Whatever you say,”
And with another hour passing, you exit your apartment, phone in hand as you quickly send Joaquin the message.
FROM Y/N @ 5:49 P.M. - im on the way now
FROM JOAQUIN @ 5:50 P.M. - okayyyyyyyyy
It didn’t take long for you to arrive to his complex, as it’s just a few minutes down the road. You did have to stop in and buy drinks for yourself and whoever else is showing up since Joaquin asked. And of course, you said yes because it was on the way, and you needed drinks for yourself anyway.
Your knuckles bang softly on the wooden door, and you take the tiniest step back from it. It swings open with ease, Joaquin on the other side of the door. When he sees you, drinks in hand and an easy smile on your face, he sighs, pulling you in.
“Thank god, you're here.” He groans and snatches the case of drinks from your hand. “Sam and Isaiah are ‘fighting’ again.”
You furrow your eyebrows instantly, slipping your shoes off and following him further into the apartment. “About what?”
He shakes his head and instantly lets go of your arm. “I don’t even know anymore.”
“I literally told you to stay back, and you did the complete opposite!” Sam barks out, voice echoing through the living space.
“Well, people were raiding my building, so I had to do something about it.” Isaiah retorts.
As you two walk over toward the kitchen, your eyes dart to Sam, his hands pressed against the marble countertop, and Isaiah standing across from him, arms crossed against his chest.
You spare a glance over to Joaquin, whispering to him, “Is this about those robbers breaking into his place while they were training?”
He looks your way and shrugs. “Pretty sure,” then, he gives you a double-take. “Wait, how do you know about that?”
“It was on the news, dummy.”
“Oh,”
As Joaquin walks past Sam, opening the fridge and storing the drinks on the shelf, Isaiah continues to give it out on Sam. “Seriously, it’s not a big deal—“
“Uh, yes, it is—“
“And I could have handled that myself because I have the serum, too. Remember?”
That draws Sam quiet, mouth opening and closing repeatedly, as if all the words were taken from him. Then, a second later, his shoulders slumping with a breath of air leaving him. “Yeah,” he says, “you could have. And I’m sorry about my lashing out.”
“Don’t worry about it, I get it.” His words carry understanding, a curt nod following his actions.
The silence that follows is loud, and with a quick glance over at Joaquin, who's now standing beside Sam, you begin to speak, “Okay, so now that this is over, can we actually get this place looking like a party?”
Joaquin finds your gaze, looking offended. “What’s wrong with it now?”
“Well, it’s not exactly party material.”
He scoffs, and Sam cuts in right as he was about to speak. “Nah, it’s true. It looks like a minimalist threw up in here,”
“And what's wrong with that?” Joaquin turns his way, hands propped on his hips.
“Nothing. But it’s not party material, like she said.” Sam points a finger in your way, and a playful smirk tugs on both of your faces.
He rolls his eyes, stomping past the three of you. "Okay, fine."
Time passes, and with a bit of bickering from all of you, the place is now looking more presentable for a night out. The kitchen counter had plenty of drinks snd cups displayed on the surface, colourful streamers dangling from the walls of the living room, and even the hallway has some as well. It may not be a lot, but it’s definitely better than it was before.
And soon enough, people actually started to show up. Bucky and his crew of the Thunderbolts are here, Sam’s sister and her friends, and a bunch of random people you have no clue who they are. But apparently, Joaquin knows them, so you’ll just deal with it for now.
Right now, you’re standing near the corner of the living space, a red cup filled with alcohol held in your hand. You cam barely hear a thing with the music killing your eardrums because it’s so loud. You seriously don’t know how anyone here isn’t deaf right now.
“Now why are you standing over here all alone?”
You recognize that voice immediately, and when you turn toward the sound, you’re thoughts are confirmed when Sarah, Sam’s sister, walks your way.
You give her a tiny smile, looking out to the crowd as she falls into a stop beside you. “Needed a break.”
She nods, following your gaze. “I can see why,” she pauses, then leans a bit closer to you, as if she’s sharing a secret, and continues on with, “Also, what’s up with you and Joaquin?”
You whip your head her way, shock evident kn your face. “You know about that?”
A snort comes out of her. “Girl, everyone knows except for Joaquin.”
"Well, yeah, that's true," you admit, a nervous chuckle leaving you.
Her hands cross against her chest, leaning against the wall beside you. “Of course it’s true.” Sarah starts, glancing over to where Joaquin is standing with Sam, a wide grin on his face as he sips from his drink. “That dude has been oblivious his whole life, based on what Sam had told me. Like, Jesus, he can’t take the hint.”
Sarah's words make you nod, eyebrows rising as if that fact is obvious. “Oh, I know.” Taking the tiniest sip of your drink, you swallow it down and say, “I tried to flirt with him the other day, and he thought I was joking.”
“Oh, god.” She groans, tipping her head back. “Why do men exist?”
A laugh falls right out of you. “Literally my same question.” When you look back out to the crowd, you find Joaquin instantly. And instead of him taking to Sam, he is starting right back at you.
His hair seems more defined with the curls since he always seems to smooth it out. And you finally notice what he's wearing, it's the beige button-up you had gotten him for his birthday a few months back, with the pants Sam had given him as well. When you glance up to meet his face, his gaze falls back on yours again, and the tiniest smile tips up on him, making your heart stutter. He takes a quick sip of his drink, all while keeping his eyes on you. That's when you look away, breath hitching in your throat.
"I think he likes you, too, by the way," Sarah murmurs into your ear.
Finding her gaze, you ask, "Really?"
She nods once. "Yup. I mean, the way he's looking at you alone is pretty obvious."
A shaky breath leaves you. "Yeah, it is." You look back over to Joaquin, but now he's gone back to talking to Sam, who glances over at you once in a while.
"Go talk to him," She suddenly says.
You find her eyes again. "Right now?"
"Right now."
At that, you sigh and reluctantly walk over, but when you lift your head, Joaquin is already walking your way. You stop in front of him, a shy smile on your face. He mirrors yours. “Hey,” he says, voice as soft as an angel.
“Hey,” you say back, glancing over his shoulder. “Could I talk to you for a minute?”
He nods immediately. “Yeah, of course,” then he glances down the hall and nods in its direction. “Let’s go to my room.”
Yeah, that’s definitely the place I want to talk about this. You think sarcastically, yet you follow him anyway, downing the rest of your drink and toss it in the nearby trash when you pass it.
When you both enter the room, he closes the door behind you, and the music is muffled from the other side of the door. His room never changed a bit. Beige walls with a bed tucked into the corner, and a nightstand placed beside it. The warm lighting from the lamp brightens the room, showing off a poster above his dresser.
“So, uh, what did you want to talk about?” Joaquin asks, taking another sip of his drink.
You only watch him for a moment, hands to your sides as you try to figure out what to actually say. It is hard because your heart is literally racing in your chest as you think. But you manage to confess it, anyway.
“I like you,” you simply say, voice filled with nerves.
Joaquin spits out the drink in his mouth, then turns around and begins to have a coughing fit, patting his chest to settle down his breathing. This was not the kind of reaction you were expecting. Sure, you knew he was gonna be shocked in some way, but not choke-on-his-drink way.
He turns back to face you, cheeks flush, his eyes wide and mouth agape. “You like me?”
You nod once, chest rising as you take a deep breath. “Yeah,” You murmur, voice soft yet shaky at the same time.
“How long?” he asks a moment later, voice filled with nerves.
You look away for a second, running a hand through your hair before shrugging, finding his eyes. “Almost… two years, I guess?”
He mutters something low in Spanish, head dipping down as he tries to breathe in deeply. Placing his now empty red cup on the dresser, he looks up at you, eyes still filled with surprise. “And you didn’t tell me until now?”
“Well, I have been trying to give you hints for the past year, but you didn’t do a thing about it.”
He grows silent, as if his brain short-circuits. Then, his eyes bulge back out. “Those were hints?”
A soft yet nervous chuckle leaves your mouth. “Jesus, you really are oblivious.”
He huffs out a breath of air, taking a step closer to you. “So, you're telling me this whole time, you were basically flirting with me?"
You nod again, raising your eyebrows as if you’re stating the obvious. "Yup."
He doesn't say anything else, standing still as his hand falls to his side. Nothing really happens for a moment, the muffled music from the living room being the only thing filling the space between you. Even though you're basically a foot apart from each other, you wish he could do something, anything, even if it was him rejecting you. It would be better than standing here in awkward silence, waiting for him to actually go for it.
But he didn't reject you. Instead, he takes another step forward, leaning in, and presses his lips to yours.
You were shocked at first, obviously, because you thought he would have just said I like you, too, and then do something about it. After a quick second, you pull away, watching with wide eyes as Joaquin opens his own and stares back at you, lips agape.
“What was that for?” You ask, breathless.
He shrugs his shoulders. “Doing the same as you did,” he says, a small grin pulling at his lips. “Giving you the hint.”
You were left speechless, brain processing what the hell just happened. Your chest is going nuts with it beating like crazy, and your cheeks flush a hint of red. Then, a grin appears on your face. Joaquin copies your smile, chuckling softly before you lean right back in and kiss him.
Now, with his hands on your waist, he pulls you closer, body against his. Your hands find their way to the back of his neck, sighing against his lips as you move your mouth against his. His hands soon wrap around your torso, keeping you closer than his fingers dig into your shirt.
Your fingers dig into his hair, and the groan he lets out makes you hum in pleasure, deepening the kiss by tangling your tongue with his. The kiss becomes so much that you two start to stumble around a bit, making a chuckle rise from your throat. He grins against his lips, walking you backward until you hit the wall behind you.
"Jesus—" you mutter to yourself once you bang yourself against the surface.
Joaquin laughs softly, lips pulling away as he stares down at you. “Are you okay?”
“Oh, yeah. I’m okay.” You say with a grin on your face.
His grin grows soft, and he nods once. “Okay.” Then he leans back down to kiss you again. This time it’s softer, gentler, like everything you craved for so long.
But suddenly, the music grows louder. “Hey, do you know if—okay, never mind.”
You pull away just in time to see Bucky leave the room, eyes wide and full of awkwardness. The door slams shut, leaving you two back alone with the songs low in the background. A soft laugh leaves you, resting your head on his shoulder.
He chuckles as well, pressing his lips to the crown of your head. "I know he regrets coming in now," he murmurs against your hair.
You nod at him. "Definitely."
Both of you stay like that for a moment, just holding onto each other like you're the last thing alive. Joaquin pulls away first, hand rising to tuck a loose strand behind your ear. "Could you stay over tonight?"
The question takes you off guard, but you smile anyway. "I would, but I don't really have anything with me."
He shakes his head. "You can borrow some of my clothes for the night, and I also have an extra toothbrush with me."
Summary: When Joaquin walks into the restaurant that you work out, you think you're subtle as you gush about him to your coworker in another language. Little do you know that he's multilingual
Pairings: Joaquin x Filipina!reader
Warnings: reader and her coworker speak tagalog, Joaquin is multilingual, reader gets embarassed, Joaquin being kinda flirty
A/n: Based on this michaelkors ad Danny did
Joaquin leans back in his chair with a long groan, earning an annoyed side eye from Sam at the other end of the office. Joaquin places his hands on his stomach when it growls. "Man I'm starving." He throws his head back against the chair, Sam paying no attention to him whatsoever. "I'm gonna get food, you coming?" He's already standing up and grabbing his jacket.
"No I'm gonna finish up here. You go ahead though." Sam tells him, eyes locked on his computer.
"Alright, let me know if you want me to get you anything." Sam holds up a thumbs up as Joaquin leaves the compound.
Joaquin pulls out his phone and starts searching for places to eat around the area. He's craving something different from what he normally gets. He finds a burger place about 10 minutes from the compound. The yelp reviews aren't that bad so he puts the address in his GPS and starts the drive.
Outside the restaurant, he spots a newspaper box. The headline catches his eye: "Captain America and new Falcon success!" He doesn't hesitate before grabbing one and walking in.
Inside, there's a short line of people waiting to order at the front so it moves fast. After ordering, he takes his order number and sits down at a random table. He pulls out the newspaper and starts to read it, grinning with pride as he reads about the success of his mission with Sam.
He hears the clink of a glass set down on his table and looks up with a smile, "thank you." He says before looking back down at his newspaper. You just nod and quickly walk back to your coworker.
"Sobrang gwapo niya, Perlah" (He is so handsome, Perlah), you sigh before leaning on the wall next to her.
"Sino?"(who?) She asks, looking around the cafe.
"Doon"(there) you gesture your head at table fourteen and your coworker nods, understanding what you mean now.
Joaquin lifts his head up as you and your coworker continue to talk in tagalog. Him being nosy, he looks around to see who you might be talking about. When he glances behind his shoulder and sees you gesture to him, he gets his answer.
He smiles to himself before setting the newspaper down, leaning back against his chair with his arms crossed. You continue to boast about how attractive you find him, fueling his ego with pride. He can't help but chuckle to himself when he hears your coworker encourage you to make a move and you starting to panic in response.
The sound of the order bell rings behind you. "Y/n, take this to table 14." You nod and take the plate from the chef before heading to Joaquin's table. You glance over your shoulder to Perlah who gives you an excited grin.
"Here's your burger sir, careful the plate is still hot." You set it down in front of him and your breath catches in your throat when he meets your eyes.
"Thank you po," he says and your heart drops. You clear your throat and nod with a tight smile. Your eyes are wide when you walk back to Perlah.
"I think he knows tagalog." You say, sinking into the wall.
"What? Why do you say that?"
"He said 'thank you po' so either he heard us and understood or he recognized I'm Filipino and is just being polite."
Perlah let's out a low whistle, "let's hope it's the latter."
You shove your palms into your eyes with a groan, "Gago! Gago! Gago!" (Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!) You say as you continuously smack your forehead in shame.
You do your best to avoid Joaquin for the remainder of his time at your workplace. You still glance over for your eye candy fill, but you shove Perlah over to refill his drink instead of you.
He gets up from his seat and you sigh in relief that he's leaving. You see him head towards the door and you turn to Perlah, "good. He's leaving, fuck that was so embarrassing." You drop your head into your hands while your elbows rest on the counter.
"I wouldn't be so sure of that." You look at her with furrowed brows and follow her gaze behind you to see Joaquin walking towards you.
"Hi, Y/n right?" He asks.
"Yeah, that's me. Is there something I can help you with?" You say with your customer service voice.
"Do you guys keep your tips?" You nod and he pulls cash out of his pocket. "Here, for your service." You take the tip from him and thank him. "And uh, I gave you a little something too." He points to the folded money before walking away with a playful grin.
You share a look of confusion with Perlah before opening the folded cash. Your eyes widen when you see a note that he must've written on a ripped piece of the newspaper he was reading.
"Thank you for the service. I thought you were really pretty too so I just thought I'd shoot my shot first. Maybe we can go out sometime?"
Here's my number: *** *** **** if you're interested.
- Joaquin (table 14)"
You stare at the note with wide eyes as Perlah snaps her fingers in front of your face. "Well? What does it say?"
You look up from the note to stare off into space eith shock. "He gave me his number, and he thinks I'm pretty."
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Joaquin Torres taglist: @agent616-declassified @avastarred lmk if you'd like to be added or removed :)
“and you’ve got everybody calling, but i know that you’re calling after me”
˚‧ ɞ Summary: Yelena may or may not have developed a little obsession with you after saving you on a mission. So she stakes out your favorite haunts, hoping for a glimpse of you. She tells herself she just wants to make sure you’re safe. But then there’s talking. And talking turns into planning more meetups. And suddenly, Yelena is falling harder for you than she ever has in her life. There’s only one problem: you don’t know she planned everything.
˚‧ ɞ a/n: sometimes you have writers block for a few days, and then sometimes, you plot out an entire fic during downtime at work 😁 anyway, thank you to the anon who requested this. i made some minor changes just so the fic would flow better, but i had a lot of fun getting creative with this!
Yelena stands on the sidewalk, looking up at the façade that was Roasters—a popular coffee shop on 12th Street. There was a very specific reason why she was here, and it wasn’t for the overpriced but admittedly delicious hipster coffee. It was for you.
Two weeks ago, Yelena saved you on a mission, and in the days since, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about you. One might even say she had grown a little obsessed, and maybe that was true too. She did some recon. Found your name. Studied your routine. She knew your favorite places to go, knew that on weekday mornings between the hours of eight and ten A.M, you could be found here. And typically at the third booth in the window. The sunniest spot.
The past few days, Yelena would just walk by the coffee shop, glance through the window to see if you were there, and when she saw that you were, she’d continue on her way. She told herself that the reason she was keeping tabs on you like this was just because she wanted to ensure you were safe. But today, she doesn’t just walk by. Today, she decides to walk inside.
The bell chime announces Yelena’s presence and a cheery voice greets her. She nods at the barista, letting her gaze sweep over the place like she doesn’t know what or who she’s looking for. And then her eyes dart to you. You sit alone in the booth. There’s a steaming styrofoam cup open on the table beside you, untouched as you scroll through your phone.
Yelena is surprised to feel butterflies in her stomach as she approaches you. When her shadow passes over your table, you look up from your phone and up at Yelena.
“Oh. Hi,” you say.
Yelena gives a small smile. “Hello, y/n.”
You brows furrow. “You…know my name?”
Of course she does. But Yelena plays it off by nodding at the styrofoam cup, your name written in black marker across the side.
“Oh,” you laugh nervously. “Right.”
“I saw you and I just thought you were interesting,” Yelena says. “I’m Yelena. Can I sit with you?”
Yelena watches as your cheeks color from the compliment, and then you reply, “Sure,” gesturing to the booth seat across from you.
Yelena slides in, smiling at you across the table. And she watches that blush reach your ears as you reach for your coffee to have something to do with your hands. You’re nervous. Cute. Yelena is addicted already.
For the next half hour, Yelena lets you talk about herself, only offering little tidbits about herself here and there. But mostly, she listens to you tell her about your pet dog that you adopted last year, about your family and your career. She already knows all of this about you, of course. But it’s nice hearing it from your perspective. In fact, it’s nice hearing you talk in general.
A half hour turns into a full hour, Yelena laughing with you as you tell her anecdotes about your life. But soon, much to Yelena’s chagrin, you tell her that you have to leave. But you also ask, in the sweetest voice Yelena has ever heard, if you can see her again.
Yelena knows that she probably should say no. That this wasn’t what she came for. She’d only wanted to check on you. But as she looks into your eyes, she can’t bear turning you down. So she agrees to a date, and the two of you exchange numbers.
The first date consists of a walk through your favorite art gallery. The two of you hold hands as you walk along the walls, you chatting animatedly whilst showing Yelena all your favorite exhibits. She glows from the inside. After the art gallery, Yelena can’t help suggesting that the two of you go the a bistro down the street. “They have really good sandwiches,” she tells you. And you agree.
On the second date, Yelena takes you on a picnic in the park. She’d been up most of the morning cooking the food for it herself. She’d also bought you flowers, and hoped that you couldn’t tell how clammy her hands were when she gave them to you.
“You look beautiful,” Yelena tells you as the two of you get settled on your picnic blanket together. And you did. You’d worn a pastel blue sundress for the occasion, accidentally matching with Yelena in the blue button-up she’d chosen to wear today.
You stay in the park together until the sun sets, talking about anything and everything that comes to mind while sharing a bottle of sparkling cider. In the process, you snuggle closer to Yelena, looping your arm through hers and resting your head on her shoulder.
“Thank you for today,” you say softly. “I’m having a really good time with you, Yelena,”
Something in the ex-assassin’s chest tightens, but she ignores the feeling in favor of resting her head against yours.
“I’m having a great time too,” she replies, taking your hand in hers and bringing your knuckles to her lips. “I’m glad we started doing this,”
You turn to face Yelena so you can meet her eyes. “Me too,”
It seems like second nature in that moment, the way Yelena leans into you, breathing in your intoxicating gourmand perfume, listening to the way your breath hitches as she closes the gap. And then her mouth is on yours and she’s kissing you. And not even a second later, she feels you sigh into her, your hands falling to her waist as you kiss her back.
“Yelena,” you breathe against her lips. “I really like you,”
Yelena’s stomach fizzes at the admission, but rather than replying in the affirmative, she just kisses you harder, teeth catching on your lower lip.
On the third date, you sleep with Yelena. Though that hadn’t been the end goal, of course. Yelena invited you to her place for dinner, and that had been the only thing planned: dinner together.
The two of you had shared a bottle of wine with dinner along with more than a few lingering looks. And you’d barely finished dinner before your mouth was on hers, and you were backing Yelena toward her bedroom. To Yelena’s credit, the wine was buzzing through her bloodstream, more than likely clouding her judgment. But god, your curves, your mouth, your touch. She couldn’t get enough.
Which is why she turns around so that she’s the one leading the charge, barely ripping her mouth away from yours until your legs bend against her mattress and you fall backward with a soft laugh.
Yelena climbs on top of you, her lips blazing a trail of fire from your jaw to your clavicle, where her tongue dips into the divot, and pulls a gorgeous sound from your mouth.
Clothes get pulled off with abandon, and Yelena continues the trail of kisses as more and more skin is revealed. When she reaches the skin just below your below button, she glances back up at you, a question in those hazel eyes.
“Are you sure?” She whispers into your warm skin.
“Never been more sure about anything in my life,” you breathed.
Yelena smiles against you before burying her head between your legs.
***
The next morning, Yelena wakes in a state of bliss with you beside her. The duvet slides down to her waist as she turns on her side, ogling you. The way your lashes brush your cheeks. The way you look younger, so innocent in your peaceful sleep.
She reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, and as she does, your eyes flutter open and settle on her.
“Good morning, solnyshko,” Yelena murmurs.
“Morning,” you rasp. “What does that mean? Solnyshko?”
Yelena smiles at your attempt to prounounce the Russian pet name. “Sunshine,” she explains. “Or ‘little sun’,”
“Oh,” you give her a sleepy smile. “Well then, good morning, sunshine,”
You lean in and Yelena follows your lead, pressing her lips to yours in a soft kiss. “Hungry?” she mumbles against your lips.
You open your mouth, but your stomach’s answering growl takes the words right out of your mouth. Yelena snickers.
“I’ll take that as a yes. I will make breakfast,” Mind made up, she sits up, throwing her legs over the side of the bed and tossing off the duvet cover.
“I’ll be right there,” you say as you sit up as well, stretching out your limbs.
Yelena turns to smile at you. “Don’t keep me waiting too long,” she says, dropping a kiss on your temple before padding out of her bedroom. She wears that smile all the way down the hall to her kitchen, grinning like a fool as she pulls out ingredients for breakfast.
She glows from the inside as she pours pancake mix into a large mixing bowl. And not just in a post-coital kind of way. Also in an I’m-so-fucking-happy-and-I-can’t-seem-to-stop-smiling kind of way.
Yelena had just added the wet ingredients in with the powder and was starting to mix when she hears footsteps entering the kitchen. “I hope you’re hungry, solnyshko,” she says without looking up. “I may end up making enough pancakes to feed the whole city,”
“Yelena.”
Your voice is tight, absent of the sleepiness, the rasp, the happiness, and when Yelena turns to face you, her blood runs cold.
There you stood, in the same clothes you’d worn last night, a confused frown on your face and a beige folder in your right hand.
“What is this?” You demand.
Yelena opens and closes her mouth a couple times. Because she knows exactly what’s in that folder. She also knows that she’d left it in plain sight last night, had forgotten to stash it away so that you wouldn’t come across it.
“I…that…” Yelena fumbles.
“You took notes on me?” You ask, incredulous. “About my family, my job, my friends? What kind of sick joke is this? Why do you have this, Yelena?”
“It’s…it’s not what it looks like, y/n. I was just—“
“Stalking me,” you finish for her, tossing the folder onto the countertop, hard enough that it slides off the counter entirely and falls onto the floor. “You were fucking stalking me. That’s how you knew to find me at Roasters,”
Yelena swallows hard, turning to face you. “Solnyshko, just let me explain—“
“You don’t get to call me that! Not now!” You snap, your voice shaking. “Is that it, I’m just some…mission to you!?”
“No, no, no, y/n, please, just…just listen…” Yelena holds two hands up cautiously, the way she would if she were talking someone down from a ledge. Which was sort of what this was, wasn’t it? Yelena trying to rescue her relationship with you, that was now felt like it was teetering precariously over the edge of a cliff, threatening to fall.
“I…I saved you. After that mission. That invasion in Manhattan,” Yelena explains. “After that, I…I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I couldn’t help digging into your life,”
You stiffen. “So none of this was real? You were just…what? Curious about a random girl you saved?”
“Of course it’s real,” Yelena says, her own voice catching now. “And you are not a random girl, y/n, you are my…we are…” she swallows hard. “I care about you. So much. Please,”
You shake your head, staring down at the folder on the floor, the scattered papers, notes about your entire life. You look back up at Yelena, tears in your eyes. “I can’t do this, Yelena. I think…I think I need some space,”
With that, you grab your jacket and let yourself out of Yelena’s apartment, and she’s left standing there alone with a bowl of pancake batter and no one to cook for.
***
For the first few days after her falling out with you, Yelena tries to put on a brave face. She keeps telling herself over and over that she’d just wanted to make sure you were safe, and she’d successfully done that. She didn’t need to do anything else. She could move on with her life.
So then why did it feel like a chasm was opening up in her chest whenever she thought about your smile, your laugh, your eyes? Why couldn’t she stop thinking about the way you would press your palm flat against Yelena’s when the two of you laid side by side, your hand always warm. Why couldn’t she shake the feeling of your soft lips and even softer skin? The beautiful sounds she’d pulled from your lips when she was on top of you?
Because you have fallen in love with her, an unwelcome voice in the back of Yelena’s mind says. And the thought is so sudden and so startling that Yelena bolts upright on her bed.
In love. In love…she was in love…with you.
Of course Yelena understood the concept of love. Familial love. She’d loved Natasha. Still loved her with all her heart. And she loved her dad, even when he was a lot to handle. She loved every single animal she came across, just from taking one look at them. But romantic love? She’d never felt that.
But as more and more images of the gorgeous girl she’d been spending the past few weeks with flood her mind, Yelena’s chest tightens. Her heartbeat quickens. It was true. She loved you.
“I love her,” Yelena says, testing the way it sounded out loud. “I love her…”
It sounded right. Felt even more right. And the butterflies came alive in her stomach. But then, they turned to angry moths and her stomach lurched. She’d ruined it. She’d broken your trust. What could she do now?
Wheels turning in her head, Yelena glances at the time on her phone and an idea pops into her head. She knows just where you’ll be. And she needs to see you.
***
Twenty minutes later, Yelena is once again standing outside of Roasters. She can already see you through the window, and this feels like a full-circle moment. She steels herself, drawing up all the confidence she can before pushing open the door and walking inside.
Slowly, Yelena approaches your booth. As she gets closer, you look up, but when you register Yelena’s presence, you scowl and look back down. “Still stalking me, Yelena? What do you want?”
“To talk to you,” Yelena says. “To explain myself.”
You don’t respond, and Yelena wrings her hands nervously, something she’s never done before, but damn, you brought it out of her.
Yelena clears her throat. “Can I sit?”
You shrug, and Yelena tentatively slides into the booth seat across from you. For a moment, she doesn’t say anything, just watches you closely. You smell nice and you look beautiful. You’re wearing makeup today. Just a little mascara, but it makes your already bright eyes even brighter. Yelena’s eyes then drip to your hands, the way they tremble slightly as you wrap them around your styrofoam cup, and Yelena realizes she’s not the only one who’s nervous. She’s slightly comforted by this.
“Y/n,” Yelena starts. “Can we talk? Please?”
“I guess,” you mumble in response.
Yelena takes a breath and launches into her speech. “I’m sorry, y/n. I’m sorry that I made you feel like you were no more than a mission to me. I promise my intentions were always genuine—“
You scoff at this part. “If they were so genuine, when were you planning on admitting that you’d been stalking me for days before we actually spoke properly?”
“I wasn’t stalking—“
“Yelena.”
“Okay, so I was stalking. But that wouldn’t have exactly endeared me to you if I’d just out and told you, would it?” Yelena asks.
Your mouth hardens into a line. Yelena presses on. “Look, y/n…my intentions were always just to make sure you were safe. It’s true: I couldn’t stop thinking about you after that mission, and that doesn’t usually happen to me. But then, when I met you…when I realized you were the sweetest person ever and that I loved spending time with you…by then, I was in too deep. I didn’t want to burst the bubble, break the fantasy.”
“But that’s all this was, right?” You sigh. “Just a fantasy?”
“No!” Before she can think it through, Yelena reaches across the table and takes your hand. To her surprise and great relief, you let her. “I mean…it doesn’t have to be because I…” she trails off.
You search Yelena’s eyes, and when you speak, your voice is a little breathless. “You what, Yelena?”
Yelena swallows, thinking of that corny, inspirational video she’d watched when she’d been on a depression-fueled rabbit hole on the internet this past weekend. Something about saying what you mean the first time, taking a leap of faith. Was this her leap of faith? Only one way to find out.
“I love you,” Yelena says. “The way I feel when I’m around you…I’ve never felt that way about anyone. Ever. I need you around because you make me feel alive,” Yelena watches your gaze soften, and she takes this as a good sign to continue. “I know I fucked up. I know I may not even deserve a second chance with you. But I…I’m working on meaning what I say. And I mean it. I love you so much.”
You’re silent for a moment and Yelena waits. Waits for anything. To be cursed out, laughed at, told that you never want to see her again. But instead, your grip tightens on Yelena’s hand and you lean across the table toward her.
It takes Yelena’s brain a second to put the pieces together, but when she does. She’s leans in too, meeting you halfway, your mouths pressing together in a gentle kiss that sends a zing up Yelena’s spine.
You chuckle softly when you break the kiss, but your mouth stays close, words whispered into the shared air between you. “I love you too, Yelena,”
“You do?” Yelena breathes.
“I do.” you confirm.
Yelena smiles and kisses you again, this time with more intent. She lifts a hand to cup your jaw and you smile into the kiss, squeezing Yelena’s hand. A whistle across the coffee shop brings the two of you back to the present moment, and you break the kiss before you can give the entire coffee shop a show.
“So,” you speak first. “Since you know my routine so well, I’m sure you know where I’ll be going next?”
Yelena nods. “Grocery store, and then the art exhibit on 61st?”
You beam. “You’re good, Belova. I don’t suppose you’d like to tag along?”
Yelena smiles back, squeezing your hand the way you’d done to her. “I would love to.”
synopsis: Your AC breaks during a heat wave, you and your husband make the best out of a sweaty situation
tw: fem!reader, reader works with Sam and Joaquín (her job isn't really mentioned), nonsexual nudity (they're in the shower together), barely edited.
fic, ficlet, drabble, request
I'm back to my roots (aka Joaquín, my beloved). This is based on the fact that the AC in my house is broken, but mine still isn't fixed.
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When the meteorologist said that there was a heat wave coming to DC, you thought you'd be fine. You and Joaquín kept your house at a cool 68 degrees Fahrenheit (20 degrees Celsius), but, by some cosmic joke, the AC broke. You didn't notice at first, the upstairs was still 68 and you weren't exactly home a lot during the week. But once the weekend happened? You noticed right away.
Joaquín called someone about it and they said they'd come take a look. You just had to wait until Monday and then they'd be able to fix it. You and Joaquín could survive upstairs for a weekend with limited time downstairs. Until Sunday when the upstairs AC went kaput, leaving you both sweating and in as little clothing as possible with open windows.
You were in shorts and a sports bra, laying on the hardwood flooring of the living room next to the area rug. "There is a problem when it is cooler outside than it is inside," you mumbled to your husband, turning your head towards him.
Joaquín was across the rug from you, leaning against the chair with an icepack pressed to the back of his neck. "The guy should be here soon," he assured you, both of you having a layer of sweat lining your skin. You traced a droplet of sweat as it rolled down Joaquín's neck and down his chest.
You dramatically rolled over, moving your, now thaw and warm, icepack from where it was resting on the small of your back. "The heat's getting to me," you announced, standing to go to the fridge.
Joaquín watched each of your steps, his eyes on you as you swapped your icepack out. "Why's that?"
"I'm tracing your beads of sweat like they're rain droplets on a window," you admitted, plopping down this to Joaquín this time.
Joaquín smirked at you, lazily lolling his head towards you. "I don't see a problem with that, mi amor," Joaquín watched as you groaned and pushed his thigh gently.
"I should not be tracing your beads of sweat in our house, especially not when we're just sitting on the ground," you muttered.
Joaquín opened his mouth, likely to make some smart ass comment, but was cut off by his phone going off. "Hello?" a pause, "Yes, I'll see you soon, man," Joaquín hung up and looked towards you. "He's turning the corner into the neighborhood now," he let you know. You groaned, pushing off the floor and reaching for Joaquín's shirt that he discarded earlier. "Why'd you put that on? Not that I don't love you in my clothes, but I was enjoying my view," Joaquín stood too.
You looked towards him with raised eyebrows. "Because I'd rather not be shirtless when the AC man gets here," you pointed out, plopping down to the couch even as sweat accumulated on your back.
Joaquín leaned against the arm of the couch, his biceps bulging perfectly and looking even more delicious with the perspiration on his skin making them shine in the light. "You're right, I don't want him to see you shirtless either."
"You say this like I'm not always right," you shot back, the doorbell breaking the conversation in favor of Joaquín letting the worker into the house.
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You were standing under the cool spray of water from your shower head, Joaquín behind you and gently massaging your shoulders. "Another day, are you serious?" you complained, spinning around to face him.
Joaquín shrugged, looking you over with a smirk. "I'm kinda enjoying it," Joaquín said.
You rolled your eyes, pushing his shoulder gently as he laughed. "You just like that I'm wearing as little clothing as possible and that we're in the shower together," you teased.
Joaquín shrugged, turning the water off when you started reaching for the shower door. "I'm definitely not complaining about it," he smiled as you wrapped yourself in a towel.
"Then you won't care that I'm sleeping naked tonight," you said, looking over your shoulder at him.
Joaquín blinked a few times before his brain caught up. "Hell no, I don't care," he smiled so wide and you just rolled your eyes and shook your head.
You went around the room in your towel for a little, doing your skincare and putting on lotion before flipping the fans on before finally hanging your towel up on the hook on the back of the bathroom door and joining Joaquín in bed. "The AC better be fixed tomorrow," you sighed, curling as close to your space heater of a husband as you could stand.
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"What do you mean an emergency came up?" you asked, standing in the kitchen in a pair of shorts and a tank top. You were in the middle of looking through take out menus, not wanting to deal with heating up the house even more with making lunch.
Joaquín joined you in the kitchen, a small shrug. "He said there was an emergency call and that while we are still on the list, we just aren't a priority today," he explained.
You harshly sighed, picking where you were ordering lunch from. "That's bullshit," you muttered, handing the menu to Joaquín to make him order. You listened to Joaquín order what you two usually got and confirm that he'd pick it up in 20 minutes before speaking again. "How are we not a priority when we have no AC during a heat wave?"
And, to your husband's credit, he tried to explain it before giving up when he realized you were only venting. "Do you want to come for the ride so you aren't here in the heat?" Joaquín asked, slipping his shoes on and grabbing a clean shirt from his gym bag.
"Yeah," you nodded, grabbing your running shoes and slipping them on.
The truck was hot when you two jumped in, but Joaquín turned the fans all the way up and the AC all the way down. "Do you want to stop at Sonic on the way home and get slushies?"
"Yes, and milkshakes," you added with a smile as the cold air forced your slowly growing heat irritation to ebb away.
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You went into the office for a little, just the morning so you could sit in a meeting with Sam and someone who wanted you guys to do something for them. By the time you got back, Joaquín was sitting on the couch with the TV playing some movie you didn't recognize. "I'm back," you told him, sitting down next to him.
Joaquín leaned over to press a kiss to your temple. "The guy is on his way," he let you know. You smiled at Joaquín, relieved that you weren't going to be hot and sweaty in the house anymore.
"Do you know when he'll be here?" you asked, already standing up to head to the bedroom.
"Probably any minute now. Are you going to change?"
"Yeah, this was fine in an air conditioned building but not here," you looked down at your dress pants and nice shirt before venturing up the stairs. You were in the middle of pulling your tank top of your head when you heard Joaquín answer the door.
Slipping on your shorts, you rushed down the stairs to meet Joaquín on the couch. It's not that you didn't trust this worker, he seemed very chill and nice, you just didn't fancy the idea of being upstairs alone with a random man."Feel better?" Joaquín muttered, sitting on the couch with you and turning the volume of the TV down.
"Yeah, and I'll be even better when the AC is fixed," you answered, reaching for your work bag.
"What are you doing?"
"That meeting was annoying but they had a good point," you answered, already logging into the laptop. "I'm just going to check some of their information before Sam makes the decision," you added.
"So you're doing important things?"
"Yeah, why?"
"I was going to ask if you wanted to play Mario Kart."
You paused, staring at the computer for a moment. "This can wait," you decided, putting the laptop to the side as Joaquín celebrated and set up the Switch.
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You and Joaquín were in the middle of racing when the worker walked down the stairs, his smile wide at the sight of you two competing. "Alright," he announced his presence. "It's fixed, if there's any problems you can give me a call," the man handed Joaquín a paper as he stood, and you watched the two talk for a little bit longer. "Have fun, you two," he gave you a soft smile before speaking once again. "You two remind me of me and my wife," he gave you both a nod before closing the door behind him.
You looked at Joaquín with a smile and watery eyes. "That was so sweet of him to say," you mused, grabbing your controller once again. "But I'm beating your ass," you added, smiling when Joaquín rounded the couch to sit down again.
"You're not winning," he countered, both of you knowing he was lying. Even if you were losing, he would suddenly 'forget' how to play and you would end up winning. Joaquín just liked watching you smile when you win, even if it was just a small sarcastic one when you call him out for throwing the race.
You two had swapped over the Super Smash Bros when the AC kicked on again, you felt it hit your face from the vent above the couch. "Joaquín, baby, the AC's on," you announced, hitting the pause button to enjoy the air blasting you both.
"Thank god," Joaquín muttered, looking up to the ceiling in relief. You both sat there for a few moments, enjoying the cool air, before you turned the game back on. "You cheater!" Joaquín jokingly shouted as you started without him, almost getting him off the platform before he grabbed his controller.
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Masterlist | Requests
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summary: after a summer of watching you and robin, steve decides to play cupid. 3.8k words PART1
warnings: kissing, making out, underage drinking. notes: this is long and messy. the title from august by taylor swift has actually nothing to do with the story.
Ever since the fourth, Robin was set on spending the summer at your house — movie nights teaching Steve about good movies; hanging out in his room just whispering so you wouldn’t hear from the other side of the wall; dipping in the pool sometimes.
You never minded it, Steve made sure to include you too, even if they were going out, and even if he wasn’t so nice about it.
“Ice cream, car in two minutes. ‘M picking up Robin, you coming?” He’d ask after opening your door without knocking, leaving you to freak out and try to change into something that wasn’t an old t-shirt of his.
By August, it had gotten to the point where Robin would show up even if Steve wasn’t home yet. “Oh, he said he’d be home by eight, I’ll just wait”, she’d said. And it was those moments where you got to know each other.
You’d offer a snack, maybe something to drink and you’d talk, while secretly hoping your brother would take longer than intended. You would sometimes even notice how she stumbled over her words or bounced her leg; but that was just how she always was.
One of those times, Steve got home and Robin was rambling about something you didn’t understand, and he definitely caught that when he walked into the living room.
“Rob,” he called out, finally stopping her “my room, now”
“Alright, Harrington junior, I’ve been summoned for a terrible date debrief”
“What the hell, Robin? You’re talking her ear off” he whisper-yelled at her, “you were better than this when met”
“Well, it was all a façade, Steven, I’m not half as cool as you painted me to be. I’m hopeless” she threw herself on his bed. “Why do you even care anyway?”
“Hey, it’s you or high school guys. I would rather if it’s you.”
By the end of summer, a friend invited you to a party, just a house party before school started. You decided to bring it up while Steve was in the room, being casual about it.
“You should go, Rob”
“Me? I don’t do parties” she said, voice cracking and high-pitched.
“That’s because you’ve never been invited, nerd. Luckily, I’ve made this one” he gestured towards you, “popular enough to be invited. You should go. Together. I’ll drive you” he smiled.
So, days later, Robin was knocking on your bedroom door because you promised to do her hair and make up.
“Make yourself comfortable, I’m still freaking out a bit over my clothes. I don’t know if I like this skirt. What do you think?”
“I think it looks good. You look great, actually”
Robin felt like burying herself alive immediately, but you smiled, even blushed a little. “Thanks. But, I know I have another skirt that will look better.”
You looked through your closet again and again until you found the denim skirt. Then you stopped, thought for a second — would this be too in the face? Robin had seen you in every single one of your swimsuits and your big shirt should cover you enough.
“Do you mind?”
Robin shook her head almost too quickly and tried to look away, look at anything else in your room, but her eyes quickly drifted back to you. The way you shimmed and moved to take the skirt off and bent over to pick it up from the floor. Before slipping the other one on.
She kept watching as you moved to the mirror, taking your time to tuck the shirt in, make sure everything was sitting right.
“Right, does this one look better?”
Robin agreed, wiping her hands on her jeans, still trying to be casual about being in your bedroom. You talked as you finished your hair and make up, and she watched the way your mouth parted when you did mascara.
Then you moved on to her hair. Sat her in front of your vanity, gently running fingers through her hair as the curling iron heated and she felt like melting into your touch. And when your nails dragged against her scalp to section the hair she shivered — and you noticed.
“Sensitive?” you teased. She nodded.
You tried not to think about it as you started curling her hair, nothing much, just to give it some volume. You couldn’t help but watch her through the mirror. Meanwhile, Robin was desperately trying to find something normal to talk about and that’s when her brain completely shuts down.
From the corner of her eye, she spotted an old Little Women copy on a shelf.
“Do you think Amy marrying Laurie was bitchy of her?”
The sudden question took you off guard, making you touch the hot iron for a second, just long enough gasp. “What?”
“You know, Amy just shows up at the right place at the right time and steals the guy that’s been in love with her sister forever.”
You gasped again, this time at her ridiculous interpretation. “That’s not what happened. She didn’t steal anyone. She was in love with him and Jo had turned him down.”
“So you think Jo is better off with the french guy?”
“I think Jo was better off on her own, writing and caring for her family. She didn’t need men” you stood your ground, defending both characters.
“But Laurie, you don’t think he’s a dick?”
“The book is not about Laurie” Robin watched your face carefully through the mirror, almost studying your expression. “So you hate him!”
Robin looked at you in the mirror, holding eye contact for a little longer than she meant, and burst into giggles. You just shook your head, holding back a smile and focusing back on finishing her hair.
“Okay, makeup time. What do you usually do?” you asked, moving her chair away so you could stand between her and the vanity.
“Just liner and mascara, probably”
You hummed, looking around your drawers, “should we add a little shimmer and maybe some lipstick?”
“Whatever you’d like” she smiled, “I’m your canvas”
You couldn’t hide the excitement, “won’t do too much, promise. Wouldn’t want you to feel not like yourself”
You did her eyes first, while you both tried to be normal about the sudden closeness. Your hands were warm on her face, your breath so insanely close as you told her to close and open her eyes. Robin could feel her heart thumping against her chest.
“Do you mind if I do some lotion before the powder? Just so your skin doesn’t dry out”
“Whatever you’d like” she smiled again, repeating her words.
You reached back for the lotion and she watched as you took some and warmed it between your fingers before smearing it on her cheeks.
“You have a lot of freckles, that’s cute”
Robin couldn’t even hide the blush — your hands felt the warmth blooming on her cheeks. Your eyes followed your fingertips as they worked across her face, maybe for a bit longer than they needed. Robin’s wide blue eyes stared back at you, the blue shimmer on her lids making them more intense.
Before you knew it, your hands were cupping her cheeks and you were moving closer and closer, until your lips pressed a quick kiss to hers. Robin sucked in a breath, too shocked to even kiss back, so you pulled away.
“Sorry, I—“
It took her less than a second to reach up for your face and pull you back to her. Your lips met again, slow and tentative, intertwining gently. The position was awkward but you didn’t mind, you didn’t want it to end.
“Hey” Steve’s voice came through with a knock on your door, making you both jump and pull away, “you guys ready? You’re almost too late to be cool”
You looked down at Robin, eyes wide and startled, and giggled — what is that even supposed to mean? you mouthed at her.
She shrugged. “Yeah, almost done!”
Steve mumbled something about waiting downstairs while you fumbled with the powder pan in your hands. Robin closed her eyes and you bit your lip while dragging the makeup sponge on her face.
“I got some gloss on your lips, sorry” you whispered, wiping it away with your thumb.
Robin could feel every hair on her body stand just from your delicate touch. Then your hand was on her chin, holding her in place as you swiped the lipstick on her lips. She looked up at you when you held a tissue to her mouth. She knew what to do, took the tissue between her lips, pressing them together for a second; all while her intense eyes stared into yours.
“We should go” you whispered, still a bit lightheaded from everything.
She nodded and grabbed her jacket, quickly making her way out of the room. You didn’t know if you should scream, cry or bang your head against the wall — but ultimately, you just checked yourself in the mirror one last time, fixed your lipgloss and followed Robin downstairs.
Robin always got the front seat when the three of you were in the car, so you hopped in the back, and you couldn’t help but watch her through the mirrors. Steve had the windows down, the night breeze blowing her hair as she stared into the road ahead, a soft smile on her face. Seeing Robin so calm and happy made a smile pop up on your face too — you kissed her, and she was smiling about it.
You were too into your thoughts to notice the car stopping, only realizing when Robin opened the door for you. “Thanks”, you whispered, barely audible.
“Alright, listen up,” Steve called, “Robin, you take this” he handed her a flask through the window, “this is good, expensive vodka, be careful”
“I don’t drink”
“You should, maybe it would make you less awkward. But this is mainly for the princess over here, that doesn’t drink beer, don’t let her have too much, alright?” you both nodded. “Now, I’ll be here at 12:15, and this is the important part, only call home if someone is dying, you do not want mom and dad to know about this! Understood?”
“Yes, captain” Robin teased, making you chuckle.
He rolled his eyes. “Okay, I’m out, have fun, drink, be normal!”
And just like that, your brother was gone, just you and Robin alone again. You stared ahead, into the already crowded house for a second, taking it in. You got on your tiptoes and leaned into her ear.
“I’ve actually never been to a party either” you confessed.
“I guess we’ll find out if we like being teenagers, then”
The answer came very quickly, you did not enjoy being a teen very much. The music was way too loud, the house was packed, guys hitting on you and girls asking about your brother. Robin wasn’t fond of it either, she could feel the judgment in people's eyes when they realized she was with you.
Robin grabbed your arm and leaned down so you could hear her, “do you want to find somewhere quieter?” You nodded immediately and she smiled. “Should we get something to drink first?”
You nodded, taking her hand in yours to guide her to the kitchen. Robin hoped you wouldn’t feel how shaky her fingers were, just from being intertwined in yours. You groaned when you got to the kitchen — the counters were already full of used cups and empty cans, nothing to drink in sight but beer.
Your eyes landed on the fridge, “How does coke and vodka sound?”
“Refreshing” Robin handed you the flask and watched you fill two red cups with coke, splashing some of the alcohol in them.
“Okay, I think I know where we can hide,” you grinned, taking a sip of your drink.
You took Robin’s hand again, guiding her back through the crowded house, to an empty hallway. You stood in front of a door for a second, before pushing it open, the laundry room.
“How did you know?” she chuckled at your hiding spot.
“It’s my friends place”
You pulled her in after she checked the surroundings, making sure no one was watching. You both chuckled when she closed the door, finding yourselves in the small room. Somehow, being cramped between walls and washing machines was better than drunk teenagers.
“Steve would be so proud of us for being normal,” you joked.
“Yeah, well, let me at least honor him by drinking a little” Robin took the cup to her lips, taking a sip and soon her face twisted. “No. I don’t like this. Why is it warm?”
You smiled, trying not to laugh. “You should know that drinking alcohol is literally poisoning yourself, the burning must be a warning.”
She nodded, downing another gulp. The small room had you both way more comfortable, conversation easily flowing as you finished your drinks.
The vodka had made you tipsy, and you were now sitting on top of the dryer, waffling about something. Robin was suspiciously quiet, leaning on the washing machine right next to you. She was mesmerized, watching you talk about whatever, your glossy lips moving, your skirt now shorter with how you were sitting, your hair falling behind your shoulders.
“Rob? Still with me?” you teased, getting her attention from your legs back to your face.
Your breath faltered when she looked at you, studying your face as she moved closer and closer, until she was standing between your legs, hands on your knees.
“You were flirting with me this entire summer, weren’t you?”
The sudden closeness and question caught you by surprise, but before you could react her hand was on your face, rings against your cheek.
“Can I kiss you again?” she asked, thumb brushing your lip as her bright eyes started into yours.
“Please” you answered, almost breathless.
Her lips pressed against yours, not as gentle or tentative as hours before, she felt confident now. The kiss was fast, almost hungry, lips parting slightly, noses crashing.
Your hand moved to cup her face, too. Robin licked your lips, letting her tongue slip into your mouth and pulling you to the edge or the dryer, so you were flush against each other. Your fingers dived into her hair, grabbing as her hand slipped up the side of your thigh, under your skirt.
You thought for sure the vodka was fucking up your mind, never in those three months did you think the harmless flirting would actually lead to something like that. But somehow you ended up in a tiny laundry room with Robin, tongues brushing against each other’s and her hand up your skirt — and you had never felt better.
Robin pressed your chest to hers, left hand resting on your waist to pull you closer. Noises of wet smacking and heavy breathing filled out the room as you kissed desperately after all the tension left by the earlier kiss.
You felt like you were losing all control, handling it to Robin willingly as she took charge of the kiss. She seemed so confident now, not like the girl who was always bouncing her knee or blushed at a simple compliment.
She took advantage of the gap where your shirt had become untucked and let her hand under it. She was warm and her thumb pressed down on your skin, making you gasp and smile into the kiss. Your hands were fisting her shirt, probably making a mess of it, but you didn’t care.
You had to pull away after a couple of minutes, to catch your breath. Robin looked straight into your eyes, no words. Your hand reached up for her face again, thumb brushing her swollen bottom lip.
“You look so hot right now” you whispered.
She blushed immediately, burying her face into your neck. For a second, you thought she was just being shy, hiding, but soon her lips started pressing gentle kisses to your neck. You smiled, fingers finding their way into her hair again.
“Rob” you sighed, her kisses suddenly more intense, “fuck. Rob, careful”
She knew exactly what you meant, no marks. So she went back to your lips, you smiled and kissed her back. Your tongues quickly tangled together again, her hands squeezing your waist and your thigh.
You were getting lost in each other again, when, suddenly–
Beep, beep beep.
Robin slowly pulled away, reluctantly, as if she never wanted it to end. She looked at her watch, not beeping anymore, “it’s midnight. We should probably, uh- wait for Steve outside.”
You smiled, nodding as your hands ran through her hair, trying to fix the mess, “yeah.”
“Do I look a mess?”
You took the sight of her in. She looked great, hot, messy lipstick and the curls you did were now just loose waves — if anyone saw her like that they would know straight away what you were doing in there.
“Just a bit” you whispered, reaching for her face. You wiped the rest of lipstick off her lips, ran your hands through her hair only last time and straightened her shirt. “Better”
Robin helped you off the dryer, tugging your skirt down as you tucked your shirt back in. You walked to the door to check the hall — empty.
You didn’t dare to take Robin’s hand to guide her though the crowd this time, you felt like everyone could see in your faces what you had done, hands would just bring more attention. So you walked outside and stood by the curb.
Robin couldn’t help but notice how you shivered when the cold breeze hit. She didn’t even ask, just placed her jacket over your shoulders. You smiled up at her.
You wanted to kiss her again, lean against her body, hold her, tell her how hot it was that she noticed your shiver, how beautiful and bright her eyes looked even in the dark street.
“You okay?” she asked after you stared for too long.
You blushed, feeling caught, but nodded. Steve caught the exact moment when the blood filled your cheeks as he stopped the car right in front of you.
“Right on time. Let’s go”
You reached for the handle and opened the door, hopping into the car. To your surprise, Robin followed after you, settling into the backseat. Steve was surprised too, but decided not to mention it, just started driving.
“So… did you guys have fun?”
“Oh my god,” you murmured to yourself, Robin trying to hide a smirk, “you don’t need to play parent, Steve”
“I’m not playing parent. Just a brother who took time of his life to drive you to and from a party and made sure the actual parents didn’t find out. You know, nothing much”
Robin rolled her eyes at his drama, “yes, Steve, we had fun. But we also drank most of that vodka, just wanna sleep.”
Steve nodded, focusing back on the road, but not without noticing that you had your head on Robin’s shoulder. The drive home was quiet, and quite enjoyable — you asked Robin to roll down the window so you could feel the chilly night breeze.
“Remember, take off your shoes and be quiet. If dad finds out I let his little princess go to a party, I’m dead!” Steve whispered.
He insisted on parking in the driveway because the garage doors were too loud, and apparently so was the front door, because he had also insisted that the best way in was through the back fence and back door.
You just rolled your eyes, taking off your boots as he unlocked the door. You and Robin got in and quickly made your way upstairs, then stopped at your bedroom door.
“Are you… uh– are you sleeping in Steve’s room or…”
“I’m not sure. Steve?” she lifted her arm, scratching the back of her neck.
He looked at her, trying to figure out what kind of telepathy message she was trying to send him. “It’s probably better if you girls sleep together, don’t want mom or dad catching Robin coming out of my room, you know? Is that okay?” he asked, directing it at Robin and she nodded.
“Okay, I’m gonna brush my teeth and change, ‘m tired.” You announced and went into your room.
Robin got her things from Steve’s room as you grabbed pajamas and when you shut the bathroom door she let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding.
“So?” Steve whispered, “how was it?”
“Good” she answered, extremely vague.
“Oh, come on! Did anything happen? Did you talk? Did you dance?”
Robin couldn’t even stop the smile creeping on her face. “We kissed” she whispered, making Steve’s eyes widen.
“Oh? Kissed?”
“Well, I kissed her. But she kissed me before the party anyway” she mumbled, quite shyly.
“What? She kissed you?”
“Is that a problem?” she teased, because she knew from the beginning that the second this actually happened, it would bother Steve, even if he swore it didn’t.
“No. I just– I don’t wanna know about it. Go to bed.”
Robin couldn’t help but chuckle at him. “Oh, I will, with your sister,” she teased.
“Stop this. I don’t like this anymore, this is not what I had in mind. You’re sleeping on the floor. I’m getting a sleeping bag.”
When you come back to your room Robin is setting the bag on the floor, grabbing an extra pillow from your bed. You moved quietly, not saying anything as you sat back on your vanity to brush and braid your hair.
Robin walked out to change in the bathroom and by the time she came back you were already in bed, lights off, just the night lamp on. You watched her move in the dark, walking to the sleeping bag and getting comfortable.
When she was done you turned the light off, whispering a soft “good night”. But, as tired as you were, you couldn’t bring yourself to sleep.
“Rob?”
“Yeah?” she replied, voice hoarse and sleepy.
“You don’t have to sleep on the floor,” you whispered.
“Want me to sleep with you?”
“Yeah.” You moved on the bed, making space for Robin to take the edge. You felt the bed dip, but kept looking up into the ceiling while she settled and let herself under your blanket. You both stayed like that for a beat, staring at the ceiling in silence until you turned to face her. “Rob,” you called again.
“Yeah?” this time she turned to face you too, chuckling as your knees brushed each other’s under the blanket.
“I really enjoyed tonight,” you whispered.
She watched you for a second, searching for your eyes in the dark room and her hand met your face, thumb stroking your cheek. “Me too”
You bit back a smile and nodded once before turning to face the wall. “Night”
Robin felt like her arm moved before she could think, wrapping loosely around your waist. She felt your breathing stop and thought for sure she had crossed a line. But you pushed yourself back, curling closer to her until you could feel her breath on your neck, your hand covering hers over your waist.
All Steve wanted was to bring a couple of friends over for the fourth of july. Your parents were out of town and the pool was feeling pretty empty.
He did not think that Robin would spend the entire day eyeing you.
He talked to her that same afternoon, in the kitchen so no one hears them.
“I’m just saying, she’s not like that, okay? So don’t go falling for what you can’t have.”
Robin just brushed it off, saying she’d rather die before dating someone from his family.
What Steve didn’t expect was that you were also eyeing Robin under your shades. You noticed everything, how she was stealing glances from time to time, how she adjusted her bathing suit every time she stepped out of the water, how her laugh filled the air every time someone said something stupid and how her suit unzipped in the slightest this one time and she never realized.
By the end of the day Robin was the last one there, and Steve offered a clean towel for her to shower. And you just couldn’t ignore how she came out smelling like your shampoo.
The next time Robin came over it wasn’t for the pool, but you quickly made a plan to get her attention.
You knew they would be hanging in the living room, so you put on a bikini and made your way down stairs. When you got there, Robin was alone, sitting on your couch.
“Robin!” you faked surprise, she looked up, giving you a quick nod, holding back from looking you head to toe.
“Heading to the pool?”
“Kinda, gonna catch a tan, feeling a bit too pale. You should come, you seemed to enjoy the pool last week” you offered, but she denied, claiming she didn’t bring a swimsuit, exactly what you wanted. “You can borrow one of mine.”
“Borrow what?” Steve asked as he walked in with a bowl of popcorn.
“A bikini. Robin wants to go in the pool” you said, innocently.
Steve complained, whining something about you stealing his friend away as you went up the stairs with Robin. You waited outside the bathroom as she changed.
“Is it okay?”
“Actually, it’s a bit small” she said, poking only her head out. You knew damn well it would be too small, she’s taller and has a bigger chest. “Think Steve would let me borrow a tshirt?”
“Yeah, totally, I’ll go get one”
When she finally got wet, you got what you wanted. The thin wet tshirt was barely doing anything to cover how the bikini was digging into her skin. You were still tanning, just watching her as she came out.
“What about you? You never go in?” she teased, shaking her hair so the droplets would hit you.
You squealed, giggling as you looked up at her. “Maybe later, I still need to do my back”
“Suit yourself, the water is really nice” she told you and jumped right in.
Steve watched that entire interaction from the door, shaking his head when he caught Robin resting her head on the edge of the pool to watch you tan your back side.
So he had been wrong, maybe you were like that, and you knew exactly what you were doing.
The next day they had a shift together and he decided to bring it up.
“So, my sister” he started as he sorted the last few tapes on the shelf.
“What about her?”
“You’re into her” he spat out.
Robin threw her head down on the counter, groaning. “I’m sorry,” she whined, “I know you said I shouldn’t cause she’s your sister and she’s not like that but I couldn’t help it, it’s like she stole all the good genes from you, and she’s so nice and sweet. I couldn’t help it.”
“Rob! It’s okay, just listen! I might have been wrong and misjudged my sister. And maybe she is like that” he admitted.
“You don’t know that”
“Robin, she’s my sister! I saw you two by the pool. She put on a plan and you fell right into it”
“What? She literally just sat there, tanning. If anything I did more”
“Right. Like she didn’t walk right in front of you in a bikini, didn’t offer one that she knew would not fit, like she wasn’t watching you the whole time.” He scoffed, “it was all a set up, Harrington move”
“Oh, so you’re saying your entire family are whores?”
“Wow, that’s my sister you’re talking about” He paused, before starting again, “I’ll give you my blessing, but I do not want to hear about it”
