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@mcstressed
Omgggg, gave A her first hard boiled egg (sliced and also mashed with breast milk), she didnāt really have more than a few tastes but a few hours after, I noticed a small red patch/rash under her eye and on her chinā¦.
My niece has an egg allergy but she vomits rather than has a skin reactionā¦ please, I cannot cut more foods out of my dietā¦
Onto the 3rd bath seat Iāve bought in the hopes that my child doesnāt scream and work herself up so much that even the cat comes in all concerned like Iām torturing her š« pray4me
She screamed like a banshee, full on tears streaming down her face, flailed around and got her arm stuck under the leg hole. I really donāt get it - I did a dry run with her in the seat beforehand and she was fine - playing with the toys and seemed to enjoy it but as soon as sheās put in water, she just gets so upset. I know itās not the temperature of the water because when I take her out and put her on my lap, I cup the same bath water and pour it over her and sheās fine with that. I donāt like making her upset but sheās a reflux baby so she gets a fair amount of vomit on herself and she needs a bath!
Doing deep breaths to temper the rage. Meant to be getting Aās bath ready in a very non stressful manner (in case sheās picking up the stress signals from me). R said heād be ten minutes and then take her from me so I could get everything sorted. That was almost an hour ago. I hate waiting on people, Iād much rather just struggle and get it done then wait that long for help. So whilst he fucks about with his car, Iām just going to bath her by myself (I do this anyway usually during the day so no biggie, but the further into the day she gets, the more clingy she gets so Iām having to do everything one handed with her on my hip), why yes I do dislike my husband right now
Onto the 3rd bath seat Iāve bought in the hopes that my child doesnāt scream and work herself up so much that even the cat comes in all concerned like Iām torturing her š« pray4me
Thanks to everyone that replied on the babyās on holiday post - I love going away because it feels like my brain can breathe and forget everything and reset. Absolutely no way thatās happening with a baby and a type b husband, so I definitely donāt think Iād enjoy going away. Also, because weāre going to have to take A to Bangladesh next winter to meet Rās immediate family, I just canāt have 2 stressful trips abroadā¦
Has anyone done a diy sidecar cot before? I think we have another month maybe in the next to me, so already thinking about what will be best to get. Those mums that did the transition to a cot, what did you go for?
Down 25% of my salary this month and next month, Iāll get 5 weeks of statutory maternity pay before I trigger my annual leave allowance. God, truly donāt know how people manage to have children with these financial hits
All the NCT mums talking about taking their babies on holiday and I honestly canāt bring myself to do it. September would be the best time - Iām still on mat leave, post summer holidays price hike etc, but it just fills me with such anxiety. All the packing and equipment - theyāre talking about travel cots and car seats and travel pushchairs - and I just cannot. And then Iām like āwe should give A these experiencesā but sheās 6 months old, she wonāt remember this and Iād rather āmake memoriesā where Iām not stressed outā¦
Ermmm, Aria - what is this behaviour? Featuring her outfit from the other day. I truly need to invest in a steamer because I will not iron
R has pissed himself off and me in the process so weāre not speaking currently beyond a sentence here or there about logistics. Between doing 90% of Aās care (which I donāt mind of course and Iām really not fussed when heās at work, but I get so cross when heās home from work and justā¦not thinking that perhaps I want to eat a meal without entertaining a 6 month old or literally do anything with two hands) and about the same of all the household chores and Aās split nights due to her teeth or just that sheās a baby, I am not feeling very āextend graceā-like right now. His family have enraged me, his extended family are coming to see A on Sunday which requires hosting and cooking and cleaning (also, all of the arguments we had about how his family would want to come ASAP to see the baby, even saying theyād want to come to the hospital, the irony being sheās six months and the majority of his family havenāt come to see her l.o.l). Anyway, it has been very quiet in the house after I put A down for her night sleep and honestly, Iām okay with the peace. My next sale order came so I just went about sorting all that - A now has the bulk of the bodysuits and sleepsuits she should need up until 18 months and I also got her these cute top and leggings sets and some dresses. Sorting her wardrobe gives me a type of joy I hadnāt anticipated.
To continueā¦
I get that some toddlers are boisterous but this kid isnāt really? When you engage with him and interact, heās pretty placid.
So this didnāt happen around me but around the other wife in the group, when Inept Couple went to her house for a lunch (we were also invited but Rās uncle died and we were busy with funeral things). At this lunch, there was also the brother and sister in law of the Other Wife and that couple have a medically sensitive baby - heart didnāt develop properly in utero so multiple surgeries and was in hospital for the first 6 months of his life and now is fed milk through an NG tube (all context). This woman was feeding her 11 month old and using screens to distract etc, Inept Woman pipes up (unsolicited) all smug and bragging about how she doesnāt allow screens with her toddlerā¦ errrmmm.. and then later in the visit, she talks about how she makes all her kidās food from scratch and she wonāt let him have any ready made stuff. All after seeing this other kid have a pouchā¦.
Itās just likeā¦ judge parenting styles all you want (we all do it!) but why say it to someoneās face and make them feel shit when itās not something thatās critically dangerous?? Also, I distinctly remember them doing pouches with their kid for a period of time, so itās a bit pot kettle
Some snippets from the Inept Couple Chronicles that are infuriating
So this year, Iāve seen them once when Aria was first born (literally 2 weeks old) and then the day after Eid in May. The May invite, they hosted in their new flat. She knows Iām dairy free because A has an allergy to it, Iāve confirmed with her at the lunch which dishes are dairy free (and itās SO easy to make Asian dishes dairy free - I do it all the time and honestly if you have to put ghee in your curries to make it taste nice, then youāre not that great a cook). Anyway, she tells me what each dish is, reconfirms the dairy status, I eat the one she said was fine and then halfway through she goes āI just used a tiny bit of ghee in that, thatās okay, right?ā
I was like āwtffffā - I was so angry. Thankfully Iād taken some expressed milk with me but A never settles with a bottle and she just wanted to breastfeed, so after she got really upset, I relented. But itās just likeā¦I am SO careful with dairy because I donāt want my daughter to be uncomfortable and in pain from all the acid reflux and this bitch just outright lies to me just so I can eat her food and praise her on how nice it is (she always needs that validation in her Perfect Stepford Wife act).
That same visit, sheās banging on about her weight loss etc and she practically pounces on me and asks āIāve lost 10kg from the last time we saw each other - can you tell Iāve lost weight?!ā Like soooo desperate.
And I could have agreed with her and just given her whatever validation she was seeking but after the dairy stunt, I didnāt want to play ball so was just like āI canāt remember what you looked like, the last time we saw each other I was 2 weeks out from an emergency c section and heavily medicatedā (all said in Bengali and like butter wouldnāt melt). I donāt like needy people at the best of times and I like this woman even less.
This past weekend, the husbands all went to Birmingham to visit their friend whose wife has just had their second child. This (inept) woman always has a thing about her husband going out to social things without her - to the point one time a whole social event with multiple co-ordinated schedules and people got cancelled because their toddler had a temperature of 37 degreesā¦.anyway. R told me that Inept Man got calls from his wife whilst they were in Birmingham because their toddler had fallen twice and split open his lip - first time he fell off the bed and the second time, he didnāt want to get out of the bath and I guess fell somehow?? Unsure of the logistics but I judge their inept parenting so freaking hard. Honestly, this kid is always bumping his head or falling from things, Iām just baffled. And I say this as an aunt to 2 nephews and a niece that is only a few months older than their toddler. But I donāt even know why Iām surprised - these are the same people that never buckled him in to his bouncer and he fell out multiple times, put a cushion on his chest when he was a few months old because he āslept better like thatā and were deliberately drinking hot tea around him/passing the cup close to him because they thought it was ācuteā how he wanted to drink it.
Truly baffling.
Itās my nephewās university graduation today! Itās in central so no way A and I would have gone for the ceremony (which starts now - weāre watching on a live feed), but will be joining everyone for a nice late lunch afterwards. Insane to think this kid that I helped teach to read and tell the time is a graduate!
I have many Inept Couple story times but I never have two hands free to do quick typing š©
I harvested so much colostrum when I was pregnant but now with Aās dairy allergy, I donāt really know what to do with it all?
Thereās this very irrational and very loud part of my brain that keeps saying that if I hadnāt accepted an induction at 39 weeks, I wouldnāt have ended up with an emergency c section. And itās like that part of my brain forgets that I had a medically complicated pregnancy and if Iād have pushed back on the induction, I would have been filled with anxiety and my blood pressure (which was through the roof the night before my induction) would have likely been insane and may have resulted in even more complications and risks for both myself and baby. It really is like I have to claw back some semblance of control - this happened because of a choice I made vs it was completely random and there was nothing I did/chose that resulted in this. Interesting to work through these threads of thoughts.
The sensory Hell that is baby sick on your shoulder that seeps through your top š¤¢