Lucky

If I can change the world with one paragraph at a time.

[me-luckily-blog]

I love you

I love you. I hope you don't take offense to that. I love you because you mean something to me. Hi. What's your name? I'm sure you're a beautiful person. No. I dont want to fuck you. No I don't want to take you away from someone. I just wanted to let you know that you mean something to me. Even if it's small. You mean something to me enough for me to say I love you. Who I chose to be with. Who my family are. Dont take me wrong. I love you sounds personal and it is personal to me but it doesn't have to be hard to use it in a way that it means something to all of us. I hate how it feels like it's so hard to use, I love you when I do. They say we are humans and we crave affection with other human beings. So why is it so hard to say I love you? We know it means something to you, to all of us. I don't know you but I love you because it hurts me to live in a world where there isn't enough I love you's....even when we all know it's something we all want. So I love you. You mean something to me. I love you because you love and breath the same as I do. I can't imagine a world with so much selectiveness and hate even though I know we live in it.

[me-luckily-blog]

Her

I wish I was more. Please don't get me wrong. I accept who I am and I understand my flaws entirely. But I too wish I could be a better me. If I could be anything, I would be someone who is beautiful. I want someone to talk to me and say to themselves "damn, the words that come out of her mind are just....beautiful." They are beautiful because she has passion that brings meaning to her life. What I mean by passion is that her words touch me. They make me feel passionate. They move me. She moves me in a way that I can't remember the last time I felt this way. This feeling is a sincere, genuine, lifting and quite stimulating in y chest. My mind is stimulated by the way she moves her words to formulate some sort of meaning that strangely makes me want to be better. This to me is what beautiful is in a human being. It's s the unicorn of all animals. I want to be able to show beauty to everyone I meet. I want to be something like this. I just can't find the right words just yet. All I have is my honesty. My genuine and very real thoughts. I don't think it's enough but I can't just wait here while my heart bleeds for something more. I always famously say that my soul isn't here because I already sold it but in reality I'm hiding it. I'm afraid that someone might break it. It's all I have. Why can't I be like this person that I want to be. Why are we so afraid to let others know who we are and who we strive to be. I'm no where near perfect. I have many flaws. But allowing myself to be okay with them and realizing that others are okay with them too will hopefully be honest enough to be this beautiful person that I want to be.

[me-luckily-blog]

Mind

My own thoughts brought me down to the deepest parts of my mind but it was also the only voice that helped me walk through the dark.

[me-luckily-blog]

I’m not lonely

Lonely is not the right word I would use to describe how I feel.

I have more than enough things in my life than most people would have in their entire life time.

No, I’m not lonely but I feel like something is missing. I think a better word for it would be emptiness. I want to feel more and actually mean it. I feel like the emotions that I do feel are like food samples that they give out at a Sam’s club or Costco. The little sample container that gets thrown away when its emptied out. I don’t know how to fix me and I was never the type that wants to wait to be saved. Actually, I always felt like if I couldn’t save myself then why would anyone bother with me. It wouldn’t be worth it. 

[me-luckily-blog]

Sinking

Deep down,

I wish you could go that far with me.

If there was a boat that we could sail together,

I would forever be free.

[me-luckily-blog]

Afar

Help I need saving

The escape is paradise

Please stay with me here

[me-luckily-blog]

Self

What if we were able to find the right words to describe one another?

We already have the power to describe in basic terms the meaning of each word in the English language. Imagine if we had a book similar to an encyclopedia of everyone on earth. We would be able to select who are friends are, who we will marry, and who we should stay away from. But I wonder if we would just be ending up coping and pasting each nice phrase out there.

“She is pretty.”

“She is nice.”

“She is smart.”

These are the types of words we use to describe each other. However, there is so much more than just pretty, nice, or smart. On the other hand, maybe it’s just our ignorance. We only use limited vocabulary and it prevents us from finding the right words to describe our observations of people. 

People are interesting because I can’t find the right words to describe them. I can attempt to write what’s on the surface but don’t have the right to describe things that I can’t see about them. Everyone has those deep and dark secrets, scars, and fears that they don’t want to be defined by.

But I’m starting to believe that the pain, fears, and secrets is what really makes us different. Our stories might follow a similar path but the journey in the deepest and darkest part of our mind is what makes us different.

Everything else on the surface is what we use to cope with everyday life. No one want to listen to each others pain because we haven’t even found our own light yet. It’s hard, very hard. 

We don’t want to let our demons define us. We shouldn’t let our actions or look define us either. I think what should define us is how we think about ourselves when we enter into the door in our mind that traps us. I think we should ask ourselves how we see ones self and what does that mean to us? This answer should be what’s written in a book that would, in basic terms, describe everyone who is living on this life. In this way, everyone is beautiful.