Follow Meg on the AT

Georgia --> Maine

[megancoxmusic]

TT from the D of JW:

April 21, 2017

Day 17 6.7 miles Sassafras Gap Shelter Mile 144.0

Staying in the shelter. Only 6.7 miles today but ALL uphill out of the NOC. Got a late start cause I started my period and then got wheat-ed at the diner. But it really wasn't that bad, not as bad as it used to be. Feeling surprisingly strong considering the difficulties of the day. Starting to feel more and more like a real thru-hiker, like I'm just trucking along putting miles in. This week has been slower, but 2 days to Fontana Dam and the Smokies. And feeling more comfortable in shelters and tents ... getting more okay with the brand of discomfort both of those things offer. A little less fear and a little more sleep.

To continue my weird dream stuff ... I had this dream maybe 2 nights ago at Cold Spring that I volunteered for an elective surgery - WITHOUT anesthesia - as part of a performance art piece!! WTF! Like I was literally selling my body for art. Putting myself up for excruciating pain for entertainment. And all of these rich artsy people were there guffawing like they were so cultured for attending this event. And I backed out at the last minute ... like, freaked out and decided I wasn't willing to sell myself, to put myself through that for other people's entertainment. What a crazy dream. My brain is still sorting through all of its pain, trauma, issues. Artist brain trauma. This hike has been SO GOOD for that.

The rain just started! So glad I'm in the shelter! Anyhow ... only 20 miles to the Smokies!

Oh yeah! Women are still women even in the woods! Bet you were wondering how ladies take care of their lady business while on a thru hike. The simple answer: It’s not much different, except you have to pack out what you pack in. It wasn’t my favorite 6.7 mile uphill hike, but you know what? I lived to tell the tale.

[megancoxmusic]

Time Travel from the Diary of J Wiggles:

April 20, 2017

Day 16 11.7 miles Nantahala Outdoor Center Mile 137.3

Camping on the riverbank a few hundred yards off the NOC. Big, rolling river. Loud. Lots of frogs and crickets. Gorgeous night. The stars are bright and as twinkly as I've ever seen them. Got a proper meal here for lunch, and drank a few beers around the campfire. The hike was a rough 4.6 down down down from the fire tower ... took FOREVER ... some of the steepest and most challenging stuff thus far. But the reward was well worth it. We got a shower, that meal (big ass salad), hummus, sent and received packages, and now just about ready for our 7 mile ascent out of here tomorrow ... AFTER a great night sleep. Feeling like I've found a great hiker bubble. Tonight doesn't feel quite so lonely. It feels alive and vibrant ... like I wanted the Trail to feel. OH! Also tonight feels like the 1st night it wont be balls cold in my tent. Probably because we descended to like 1400 ft instead of 5000. Ha.

NOC night!  Hiked through forest-fire damaged terrain that day, and started learning how much more difficult downhills can be than uphills.  My first semi-stealth camp, my first time doing the hobo thing by sleeping “down by the river” instead of paying for a proper campsite. Stole a shower by sneaking into the nice bath house and had to dry off using my tiny camp towel and a hand dryer. 

I felt so free this night. J Wiggles was starting to come into view, even though she didn’t have a name yet.

[megancoxmusic]

Time Travel from the Diary of J Wiggles:

April 19, 2017

Day 15 11.6 Miles Cold Spring Shelter Mile 125.6 Weather, chilly and damp all day Difficulty 6/10 - lots of nagging ups today, but nothing too hard Emotions: pretty good

Tomorrow: the Nantahala Outdoor Center. Pretty excited for a hot meal, a beer, and to get my package. And to send forward another package to Fontana Dam cause I have WAY too much food. Ha. Can't wait to lighten my load a bit. Feeling a bit less lonely today, hiking with Bluebird and the South Africans. They've been fun and funny and kind. In the shelter tonight - maybe more rain tonight. It's my second night in a shelter, first without Jake. So we'll see how it goes. I am missing J a lot lately. More than I thought I would, honestly. Feeling that pull toward comfort, wanting warmth and cozy cuddle comfort, kittens and blankets and snuggles and hot showers ... but can't think of that too much now. Keeping my eyes on the prize ... one landmark at a time. NOC, Fontana, Smokies, maybe Gatlinburg, Standing Bear Hostel, Hot Springs. Miles 137 to 273 - about 136 miles. Including tomorrow that's only 12 days at 12 miles/day. Dang. It goes fast. Though so slow. Today is my 2 week trail-versary. I've been out here for that long (with 5 nights in beds) ... (and 2 zero days, and 3 nero days) ... but I"m feeling good. Like I can just keep going. And that's what I need to keep doing. Moving forward.

[megancoxmusic]

Time Travel from the Diary of J Wiggles: Hangover Edition

April 18, 2017

Day 14 Nero - 4.2 miles Siler Bald Shelter Mile 114.0 Weather, cool and damp, raining on and off

Nero today because of a dumb hangover. Partied way too hard yesterday in Franklin. Oops! 4.2 miles to Siler Bald Shelter. Very nice campsite. Feeling that strange sense of melancholy I was feeling a few days ago ... Kind of like ... missing Jake, missing comfort, missing stability. Wishing I was warmer and drier and in my own bed instead of this tent now. I think my emotions are so often tied to the way I feel physically. The dumb hangover put me in a funk. The feeling of not having control. Feels vulnerable. But this too is part of the process. Today everybody feels like a stranger, and I feel pretty lonely. But every day won't feel like this. It’s kind of hard to keep meeting new people every night. Maybe soon all the faces will be familiar and friendly. But this lack of comfort is what will keep me stretching. That's really what this is ... it all boils down to a COMPLETE lack of comfort. No comfort of home, warmth, bed, shower, food, familiar faces, family, etc. Every moment is new and requires adjusting to. And this is part of the adventure. All things considered, I am grateful for this experience. The self-sabotaging part of me is wanting a way out ... but I'm not leaving because of a lonely day or discomfort. Or wet days or cold nights. I am continuing. Strong. Capable. Healthy.

[megancoxmusic]

A Brief History of Time Travel with J Wiggles:

April 17, 2017

Day 13 Nero - 3.8 miles to Winding Stair Gap and got a shuttle into Franklin Mile 109.8 Staying at the Budget Inn Weather, mild and sunny, but started raining like crazy in the afternoon

Oh, the best days were the ones I wrote the least. 

Memories from this day:

Hiked early to Winding Stair, was feeling super strong for maybe the first time

The shuttle into Franklin was awesome. The dude from the Budget was so kind and helpful, made me feel like being a hiker wasn’t an aimless, poor life choice but like we, the drifters, were all important to society as a whole

Had a hot shower and learned that mud does not rinse off the inside of your shins unless you scrub it off

Got a giant breakfast at this little diner and it was perfect and wonderful

The Franklin Budget was WAYYY nicer than the Hiawassee Budget, but that bar was set pretty low ...

Walked to the grocery store and bought some cheap Andre champagne along with our resupply

Got a ride from a sweet lady who scooped us up RIGHT before it started pouring. I was SO happy to be inside during the rain

Sat in the parking lot of the Budget all afternoon.  Met Achilles, Kick Flip, Jono & Ski Patrol. We also met Rocket and Mooch somewhere around here but can’t totally remember where ...

We passed the guitar around and drank some beers. It was exactly what I imagined slow days on the Trail would be like

Went to this crappy bar / restaurant and I had the worst margarita of my life

Felt super insecure having to ask the server 73 questions about the food. “Do you know if the fries are gluten free? Gluten? Like wheat. Are they breaded? Do you cut them here or do they come from the freezer?” I felt like I lost all of my badass lady hiker cred immediately

Watched “Veins & Glasses” (aka the South Africans) do a Rumbler which is possibly the most disgusting concept for a drink ever 

Went back to the hotel, music in the parking lot continued until I blasted out some Radiohead and got shushed by some hikers trying to get a good night sleep.  Oops!

[megancoxmusic]

Time Travel from the Diary of J Wiggles:

April 16, 2017

Day 12 12.1 Miles Rock Gap Shelter Mile 106.0 Difficulty 5/10 Easy day. Fun 0.2 super tough climb up to Albert Mountain. Gorgeous views from the top. Easy trail otherwise. Weather was mild, a bit chilly when standing still. But great for hiking. This is my 3rd 12 mile in a row! Been hiking with Bluebird since Dick’s Creek Gap and it’s been a blast. We are going into Franklin NC tomorrow for a night in the Budget Inn, showers, laundry, Mexican food, and some well deserved rest. Luckily my knee and hip are both doing SO much better. The tape has been helping tremendously, as has the stretching and trying not to favor it of compensate on uphills and downhills. We also had some EPIC trail magic today. Same guys as yesterday. Omelets! With cheese and veggies! And tortilla chips! And SALAD! And baby carrots and broccoli and ranch! And soda! And CANDY! And they gave us food to go ... it was all so amazing.  And at the end of a 12 mile day it was GLORIOUS. Feeling once again so grateful for this experience. Every day has been such an adventure. OH! We also passed the 100 mile mark today! Now we only have to do this distance 21 more times ... I guess it did only take 10 hiking days ... Anyhow, ever grateful, ever ready for more.

That last little bit ... “now we only have to do this distance 21 more times ...” I remember that thought being so unbelievably unfathomable that I had to just push it out of my mind. I couldn’t think about the distance ahead of me or I would’ve felt like I could never do it, like I couldn’t even continue. 

So we trudged on, left right left right.

[megancoxmusic]

Time Travel from the Diary of J Wiggles:

April 15, 2017

Day 11 12.5 Miles Carter Gap Shelter Mile 93.9 Difficulty 4/10 Weather: Perfect

Today was the best day so far. Let me tell you why. First, the weather was just perfect. Warm but not too hot, sunny with sporadic clouds, not too dry or humid. Perfect. Needed sleeves when stopped but a tank while hiking. Secondly, the hike was relatively easy. The easiest 12.5 mile day I’ve had thus far. Just nice sloping hills, long stretches of relatively flat land. Easy hiking, felt good. My knee is feeling pretty good, although my achilles tendons are a bit tender tonight. Been trying to stretch them a bunch. 

The REAL star of today was the m. f.-ing TRAIL MAGIC at Deep Gap!! We got there and saw the sign, and they were still setting up, so we helped set up and hung there for like 2-3 hours. FINALLY when the food was ready ... OMG. Best veggie baked beans of my life. And chips and hummus and salsa and coleslaw and oranges and tea and soda ... SO GOOD. And the AMAZING news is that they are doing OMELETS tomorrow at Rock Gap so we gotta get there by 5pm. SO EXCITING. The guy who does it does this every Easter. He hiked the trail back in 1979. Dang. It was such a morale boost. I just felt like a million bucks all day afterward. Ate Thai Tom Yum soup for dinner, feeling the best I’ve felt in a long time. Today felt like what I THOUGHT the trail would feel like. Tough, active, but a great sense of community. And feeling perfectly spent and happy at the end of the day. Almost everyone here tonight at Carter Gap Shelter was at the shelter last night, and we are all aiming for Easter Trail Magic tomorrow.  And we are all going into Franklin NC the day after. Gonna eat a big meal and drink a beer and maybe get a hotel or hostel for the night and continue on. Today ... I feel like I could do this forever. I am feeling beyond grateful that I have this opportunity. Life has been so good to me. I am grateful for every step.

If anybody has ever wondered what Trail Magic is all about ... THIS IS IT. 

<3

[megancoxmusic]

Time Travel from the Diary of J Wiggles:

April 14, 2017

Day 10 11.8 Miles Muskrat Creek Shelter Mile 81.4 Difficulty 8/10 GA / NC border! Weather: hot all day, then 1 hour of rain at camp

New tent got a good breaking in. Not as thick as the other tent, but I stayed dry. Strange to be here alone ... in a tent ... at a shelter ... the people around are super nice and great. Hiked today with Bluebird and that was nice, although she’s faster than me and I was worried that I was holding her back. 

Currently at Muskrat Creek Shelter - mile 81.4. I can’t believe I’ve hiked so far already. Almost 90 miles with the approach trail. Today was a little strange emotionally ... first day without Jake, first day really depending on the hiker community for my camaraderie and support. Hard to do the getting to know you thing so often. Wish I could feel a little more unfettered, but that will come with time. Today my emotions were mostly “why am I doing this” mixed in with a little “why did I think I could do this” ... the inner Critic. Popping up. Yesterday was so positive, my slack pack. Felt so free. Today was just so hot and I miss Jake ... feeling like all I want to do is retreat home and nest and huddle and stay safe forever. But that’s exactly why I’m here. THIS is the point. To stretch myself in every way possible. And stretching is almost never comfortable. This may be one of the harder days I experience. It also may be one of the easiest. Who knows what is to come. But this is the season of cleansing and I’m doing just that, with the good and the bad. 

Other memories from April 14:

Hiked in the morning with Bluebird and a guy I met at Top of Georgia who was from my same hometown (represent Shelby Twp.!) and went to the same high school as my Dad and Aunt. Small world!

Being SO excited for the North Carolina border

The tree with the border sign mysteriously swarming with flies 

That climb right after the border!! North Carolina welcoming us with the most challenging climb of the trail thus far. I had to stop every minutes or two for a breather

Passing a woman taking a nap on the side of the trail, no shoes on, being slightly envious of how comfortable she felt with nature

Meeting Trail Dad at the shelter, talking about how healing the Trail is for physical illness, mental illness, or just any darkness in your life

Meeting a guy at the shelter who was dared to hike all the way to the next road crossing to buy beers and bring them back (it was like another 4 miles) ... who did just that but the store was closed or something and he came back empty handed. Couldn’t BELIEVE this guy just added 8 miles onto his day for a dare

The guys at the shelter built a beautiful bonfire, and I sat there relatively late (past Hiker Midnight) because I was afraid to go sleep in my tent by myself

Lying there by myself in the tent praying for no bears. Hearing every little sound. Eventually I fell asleep, and what do you know, everything was okay

[megancoxmusic]

A Brief Time Travel from the Diary of J Wiggles:

April 13, 2017

16.7 Miles - slack packing from Unicoi to Dick’s Creek Difficulty 7/10 Emotions: Feeling a lot better about my knee and hip. Felt GREAT to knock out almost 17 miles.  GA/NC border tomorrow!!

It’s kind of wild that I wrote so little on this day, because SO much happened. 

We woke up early at Top of Georgia, listened to Sir Packs-A-Lot’s Rookie Thru Hiker Spiel

Was bummed that the breakfast was only cereal cause let’s be honest

I remember him saying something wild like 1/3 of hikers quit at Hot Springs, and how we were all thinking “well ~I’m~ not going to quit at Hot Spring” ... which was EXACTLY what I was thinking ... and then I wondered if I was different because I actually knew I wasn’t going to quit at Hot Springs or if that’s what everybody else was thinking and if so, what separates us?? Was I going to quit at Hot Springs ?!

Hemming and Hawing for about an hour as to whether or not I could actually do the 16.7 mile slack pack. It seemed SO far, and I would be starting late

This sweet veteran hiker lady at Top of Georgia talking me into it, saying I could absolutely do it. She was such a badass I remember thinking “this is exactly what I want to be like when I’m her age”

Jake and I got a shuttle back to Unicoi, and then the car drove him off to the airport. He flew back to Cleveland

I remember watching the car drive away, realizing how, all of a sudden, I was utterly alone in the woods

I was pressed for time, beginning this 16.7 mile slack at 11am, so I couldn’t sit in the parking lot and cry even though that’s all I wanted to do

The first few miles were scary, I kept thinking I was hearing things off the trail (it’s almost always a chipmunk) ... but at a certain point I realized that I didn’t have to keep anyone else’s schedule. I could stop at any point, stretch, tie my shoe, eat a snack, take photos, take a nap ... I had complete autonomy. It was so unbelievably freeing ...

I realized that I didn’t really know many people, so I introduced myself to every person I passed

I felt weird that I didn’t have a trail name yet

I ran into the Cleveland Crew, who I hadn’t seen since the infamous Neel Gap day. I was so happy to see them ... it was the first time I felt a sense of Trail Community

At a certain point I realized I needed to start hiking FAST or else I wouldn’t get to Dick’s Creek before dark. I had never night hiked, and I had forgotten to put my headlamp in my little pack. ROOKIE MISTAKE. My feet were getting really sore but I had to pick up the pace to try to beat the sun

I started to go a little loco by the end of the day, it was so quiet and I was so alone, and the miles seemed SO LONG. I started making up songs about the day, the hike, the trees, the weather, my sore feet. I must’ve looked like a total loonie, walking through the woods as fast as I could, singing out loud to whichever chipmunks were listening

I got to Dick’s Creek right before dark. I made it. But soon realized I didn’t have a way to get to Top of Georgia and didn’t have cell service. I was completely overwhelmed

A couple popped out of the woods and went straight to the only car in the parking lot. I think they could tell I was feeling alone and overwhelmed. They asked where I was going and offered me a ride

This was the first time I understood the phrase “The Trail Provides”

[megancoxmusic]

Memories from April 11, 2017

Hiked a whopping 2.4 miles, stopping at Unicoi Gap

Met a woman on the big descent into Unicoi who had hiked many sections of the trail. She asked me to help her with something on her pack, and it felt so vulnerable and trusting. A complete stranger asking me to help, to touch her belongings, something that one would usually only ask a friend.  This woman was a bit older, probably 55-60, but she was quirky and energetic and inspired me to keep walking.  If she could do it, I could do it

Got to Unicoi and decided to go into Hiawassee

Talked to a guy in the parking lot who offered to give us a ride - my first Trail Angel!  

Got a room at the Budget Inn in Hiawassee - which put the Trash in Hiker Trash. Oh man.

Walking through the parking lot of the Budget, I felt like I didn’t really belong in the hiker community yet. There were so many hikers around, it was a beautiful sunny day, people were drinking beers and moonshine and playing music on the chairs outside of their rooms, but I didn’t really even talk to any of them.

Dug through my first real hiker box

Bought some Happy Feet from the tiny outfitter there to help with my knee, felt hopeful that maybe my knee / hip would stop hurting soon

Went to the Mexican Restaurant and had the most amazing fajitas, though in retrospect they probably weren’t that great, I was just hungry

Really enjoyed being looked at as a hiker. Walking around town wearing my hiking clothes, keeping all of my belongings in my tiny hip pouch. It felt so freeing. In a way I felt like a veteran already, but it was SO early. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  

[megancoxmusic]

More Time Travel from Day Planner of J Wiggles:

April 10, 2017

Day 6 12.8 Miles Weather: 70 and sunny Emotions: okay Difficulty: 7/10

Took a day off yesterday, had a good day of sleep and cuddles at Misty Mountain Inn. It was amazing. Just what we needed after our horrific night of sickness. Back on the trail today ... did not take it easy. My knee has been hurting pretty badly the last couple days, not totally sure what to do about it. I want it to just stop, or to figure out what muscles to stretch to make it stop hurting. I don’t want to take another day off, so I’m feeling a bit frustrated. I want my body to feel whole, healthy, vibrant, ready for anything. But I suppose there is a learning curve for that too. Today is Monday, Jake leaves Thursday. Two more full days before I’m released into the wilderness solo ... not sure if this time with him will help or hurt in the long run. It has been SO nice to have someone to talk to day in and day out, to tell everything, to help me through the low moments. I hope it doesn’t spring back too hard once he’s gone. I’ve been really appreciating his presence and how he helps me to feel safe. I have to trust that what was meant to be happened for a reason - all of this. His trip here, the sickness, the knee pain, the weather ... I hope it all comes into focus someday. But for now, I guess it’s time for sleep. 

[megancoxmusic]

Memories from April 9, 2017

Took my first 0 at Misty Mountain Inn

The kindest soul on Planet Earth, Craig (the owner / manager of the hotel), brought us Ginger Ale

One brief walk around the hotel property completely exhausted me

Craig drove us to the local Family Dollar and we got gatorade, juice, soda, rice, and white cheddar cheese. This was the beginning of cheese being the ONLY thing I ever craved on Trail

Craig talked about his dream of thru-hiking the trail someday, and I realized what a privilege it is to be able to take off from “real life” to do this

Took like 3 showers

Built a fire in the fireplace and stretched out on the floor while it burned all the way down

Couldn’t stand the thought of hiking, but knew I had to just keep going.  Tomorrow. 

[megancoxmusic]

Time Travel from the Diary of J Wiggles - The Worst Day On Trail Edition

Aka the day I hiked a mountain, hurt my knee, and then got the stomach flu in the woods.

This photo is from when I was lying on the cold earth staring up at thy sky wishing for mercy.  

April 8, 2017 Day 4

BAD TURN OF EVENTS. Norovirus. Me and Jake and Jonathan. So we camped at that other site last night, hiked Blood Mountain and got to Neel Gap. I was feeling fine till then, and almost immediately started feeling kinda bad. Continued to hike and I was feeling awful - SUPER exhausted, like every step was sludging up hill. Started feeling chilled, light headed, seriously like I could pass out or just keel over. But we kept going ... 6.7-ish between camp and Neel Gap, and then another 6 or so to some camp site. As soon as we got there I was dizzy, lightheaded, needed Jake to help me up. Thought maybe it was the sun / heat / dehydration?  But I felt SO awful ... and then it hit.  Soon after both Jonathan and Jake started feeling bad so I thought PLEASE GOD CAN WE GET A HOTEL I WILL HIKE TO ANYWHERE ... looked in the book and by some stroke of divine intervention I not only had service but also found a hotel that would pick us up from the crossing 1.7 miles further. So we packed up camp and hiked feeling AWFUL ... And now we are at this GORGEOUS cabin feeling super crap-tastic.  Jake is baking out the bed and I’m sitting on the front porch shivering but feeling okay for now.

What a CRAZY 4 days.  It seems like the trail is really testing me … like it’s throwing all these huge obstacles and my biggest fears in my fucking face boom boom.  It sucks because today I feel like FUCK IT BYE HAD ENOUGH but I don’t want THIS to be the end of it.  I think I just need to recover and then think about it. Of course while I’m feeling awful I want a warm bed and a warm boyfriend and to never spend another night in a damn tent. But when I feel better I would regret making that decision in that state, weakened, vulnerable, sad. So now it’s just a waiting game. Get over this thing, move on.  But the misery of waiting to get over something like this! Ugh. Just like, put me under anesthesia until it’s done. Teleport me. Distract me. Anything. I guess THIS is what I needed from the trail, this particular challenge. Well played, AT.  So to recap today, not sure how many miles but something like 14.  Difficulty 8/10 cause DAMN. Emotions 2/10 cause DAMN. Weather, gorgeous, 60 and sunny, beautiful. Overall, sucks bigtime.  

Maybe this virus is like that dream I had, maybe the trail is exorcising the trauma, the fear, the pain, the doubt out of me.  It’s working damn fast too, through worst-case scenarios, crazy therapeutic dreams, and literal purging. Even though it sucks, this is exactly what I NEEDED in my life.  I hope sincerely that I can get through this literal and metaphoric purge and get to the part where I feel connected to Nature, alive, accomplished, powerful. Where I can connect to my truest self. I have a fear that this experience will break me, that I’ll slide right back. That my healing will halt, my preparation be for naught, my dreams get crushed.  I can’t handle that now though, even though I feel like a spring tightly stretched just wanting to bounce back.  But I can’t do that.  I need to learn to find comfort in my new shape. Old Meg - small, tight, limited.  New Meg - open, connected to the universe, ready, unlimited.  

Such a rough day, but a learning experience I wouldn’t trade for anything. On this day I learned strength, I learned that excruciating pain and discomfort is an experience that passes with time, and I learned how to not give up when all I wanted to do was give up. It’s like I’m witnessing the birth of Wiggles, the transformation from Meg --> JW.

Well played, AT.

[megancoxmusic]

Time Travel from the Diary of J Wiggles

April 7, 2017

10.9 miles, +1.1 off trail to a campground Weather: low 50s and sunny.  Chilly but beautiful. Finally dry. Emotions: Positive, confident, though pretty sore tonight Difficulty: 7/10 - more tough uphills but lots of gorgeous ridge walks.

Today was a lot of fun. Beautiful hiking, not too tough. Some really gorgeous views. Missing the kitty babes and home today, mostly just comfort. My outlook has remained pretty positive - I knew there were gonna be some hard days and bad weather days, but the first two were extreme. Lightning, thunder, torrential rain, getting soaked, snow flurries, and a freezing cold night last night.  Today being 50 and sunny felt miraculous. I can only hope for some warm days to keep my morale up. Today I am pretty sore, my left knee was hurting on the last big downhill, but I think after a good stretch and some Aleve I should be fine. Found this campsite 1 mile west at Jarrard Gap - Lake Winfield Scott reservation. Super car camping-esque. But the facilities were closed so no bathroom / shower / running water as we had hoped. Tomorrow we hit 2 milestones, Blood Mountain and Neel Gap. Got a package at NG to pick up though we packed WAY too much food.  

Many emotional ups and downs today ... mostly questioning if I can do this, if I will succeed or fail, if I will miss home too much.  We’ll see in good time. 

Other memories from Day 3:

Meeting and hiking all day with Jonathan aka Fib

Feeling like I was the slowest hiker in the whole bunch

Really enjoying going slowly, looking around, not being wet or cold

Realizing exactly how out of shape I really was, how difficult the gentle climbs were

People still asking “Did you do the approach trail?” and feeling smug if they had (myself included)

Feeling like we had gone SO FAR even though we had only gone about 27 official miles

Memmmmmories ... -JW

[megancoxmusic]

More Time-Travel from the Diary of JW:

April 6, 2017 Day 2 13 miles  Gooch Mountain Shelter   Weather - cold as balls   Emotions … feeling strong but a bit worried about the cold  

Tonight lows are supposed to be around 30 degrees, so hopefully this tent will keep us warm enough. Another cool day tomorrow, highs in the 50s, but after that some nicer days. I can’t wait. Tomorrow will either be an easy quick day to the next camp site or long haul to Neel Gap. Last night it stormed like crazy and I was totally terrified for half the night … but finally fell asleep and had this mega cathartic dream about this scam artist stealing my car and all my money … eventually I screamed at her with such rage and intensity that I spit up this green mucousy goo onto the ground … it was like … all the bad, all the trauma, all the negative things I’ve been holding onto in one infected blob, spit up and gone forever.  It’s so symbolic that this dream came on the first night of trail too. Everything she stole from me, it was my identity and power.  Through speaking up, I got everything back.  I got my power and identity back by opening my mouth, speaking my piece, and ridding my body and soul of the toxic buildup of the years.  

This is exactly what I’m doing out here, on this trail, on this freezing night at Gooch Mountain Shelter.  I am healing.

The is one of many healing dreams I had on Trail.  It felt like, as my body awoke and began to build up strength, my mind began to burn through the years of built up negativity.   

Other memories from April 6, 2017:

Putting on wet socks and shoes for the first time YUUUUCK

Talking to a girl who had been freezing all night in the shelter. She said she was going back to town to buy a new sleeping bag and would start the trail again once it warmed up, but deep down I sensed that she was quitting the trail

Snow flurries, in retrospect the only flurries I had the whole trek

Getting to Gooch late, the shelter was PACKED. Having to set up the tent on this super slanted spot of earth, which resulted in a very uncomfortable sleep

Meeting the Cleveland Crew! Feeling a sense of Trail Community for the first time

Eating Easter candy in my tent and enjoying that smallest of pleasures

[megancoxmusic]

I’ve been thinking so much about the beginning of my journey 1 year ago, struggling to find a way to describe how terrifying and exhilarating it felt to take the leap.  So I thought, what better way than to my own words?  

This time travel brought to you from the Diary of J Wiggles: 

April 5, 2017

Day 1  11.6 miles Stover Creek Shelter Weather - rain and thunderstorms all day - 60 degrees Emotions - positive, excited, hopeful Difficulty - 6/10

Today has been quite an adventure.  It started raining at about 8am and rained on and off all day.  It’s a bit chilly.  We got SOAKED through and through.  Glad my sleeping stuff stayed dry inside of my bag.  Sleeping in the shelter tonight - upper level is pretty warm and protected from the wind.  I’ve never slept in a shelter so it’ll be interesting.  Hope I sleep okay.  I had moments of extreme hope and positivity today, also moments of reality sinking in and trying not to think too much about HOW I’ll keep doing this day in and day out.  Just gonna take it one day at a time.  I’m SO glad Jake is here with me today and for the next few days. He helped me feel confident, safe, comfortable.  We also ROCKED it on the trail.  We planned on only going the 8.8 to Springer and then 0.2 to the shelter after that - but we were feeling strong and kept going.  The rumors were that the approach trail was super hard, but compared to hiking in NY it was fine.  And I wasn’t blaze hunting all day which is nice.  Easy to follow the footpath.  It’s supposed to dry out tomorrow and be warm the day after that.  Can’t wait to dry out my shoes and socks and get warmer!!  Also can’t wait to eat all the food in my bag cause it’s WAY too heavy.  15 lbs turned into 30 with food and water. Sheesh!  Anyhow, a super strong first day, and hopefully on to more summer-like weather in the coming days.

A year later, it’s amazing to read the tone of this entry.  So matter-of-fact, but also still so unsure.  Beautifully naive, especially in hoping the weather would turn so soon.  Ha!

Here are the other things I remember about my first day on Trail:

It rained. Like, a lot.

Freaking out about hearing tornado warnings in the van on the way to Amicalola Falls

Signing the register at Amicalola and writing “Thru-Hiker” for the first time, feeling like a total sham

Thinking “Fake it till you make it ...”

Seeing rhododendrons for the first time and thinking they were magical but not knowing the name of the plant

Hilariously changing into dry clothes for 10 minutes while eating a snack, deciding to hike on, and changing back into my cold wet clothes ... experiencing that excruciating sensation for the first time ... IT IS ACTUALLY THE WORST

Being actively afraid that a bear would show up

Watching people build a campfire and feeling like a total sham

Hearing the seasoned hikers talk shop at the shelter, feeling like a total sham

The temperature dropping overnight to a balmy just-above-freezing, thinking WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING, feeling like a total sham

To my Tramily, I hope you are all doing well this Spring, which shall henceforth be called “Season of Extreme Nostalgia and Reflection” To the current Thru Hikers just beginning your journeys, keep your chin up!  This Spring has been ROUGH, but remember, it will get better.  And then it will get worse.  And then it’ll get better again.  And then it’ll get worse again.  Rinse, repeat.  You got this.

To my friends and family, thank you as always for witnessing this journey and being so supportive.  I couldn’t have done it (and couldn’t keep doing it) without you.

Peace, Love. J Wiggz

[megancoxmusic]

Refections from yesterday, April 4. One year ago today I got on a plane and flew to Atlanta Georgia.  I took a train north from the airport, and got a shuttle further north from the Train Station to the Hiker Hostel in Dahlonega Georgia.   At the Hiker Hostel I was full of opposing emotions; excitement and fear, hope and doubt.  I sat on this beautiful deck in the middle of the forest and pondered the monumental journey on which I was about to embark.  I wrote two lists.  One was the reasons I am hiking the trail.  I put this at the very beginning of my journal, so if I ever had bad days on trail I could go back and read this list.  I posted that list one year ago.

I also wrote another list.  This one went on the very last page of my journal.  It was the reasons I would give myself permission to leave the trail.  That list included:

1. Serious illness / injury that couldn’t be healed in town and would get worse if I continued 2. Significant emergency at home or with family 3. Feeling like I’ve accomplished everything I set out to on this adventure 4. Unexpected trauma that makes the trail negative 5. Excellent career opportunity (bucket list gig) 6. If I can’t possibly get to Katahdin by winter (then I’ll finish next year) Note: THIS LIST DID NOT INCLUDE HAVING A BAD TIME.

This was purposeful.  I knew that there would be bad days, bad weeks even.  That it was possible that I would absolutely hate it.  But I knew that, even in that circumstance, that I had to keep going, that I would never be able to forgive myself if I left the Trail because I wasn’t having fun.  Because work isn’t always fun, and growth sure as hell doesn’t always feel good.

As I near my 1 Year Trail Anniversary, the Trail has been on my mind so much.  My physical body has left the Trail, but I feel like my mind and my soul are still there.  And then I think about reason to leave No. 3: Feeling like I’ve accomplished everything I set out to on this adventure. I absolutely accomplished everything I imagined, even more than I ever thought I could.  But I don’t feel like I’ve finished this thing.  The chapter isn’t ended, the book isn’t finished.  Maybe it never will be.  So for now I still dream about the Trail, I still think about the endless ways it changed me.  I still feel grateful every time I get water out of a faucet or put on a pair of dry socks.  I remember how life was before the Trail, and constantly think about how unwilling I am to go back to that.  I hear the call of the mountains ... 

Who knows where they’ll call me to next?  

Peace, Love. J Wiggz