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For my project I choose do one of our very first themes, girling in society. When we started this lesson I thought that maybe this was just some made up stuff but as you can see from the pictures I selected of my daughter I think I to did in fact take part of this. You may recognize her as she was in our class today and I thought of no better way to do this than on her. I decided to take pictures of her as a baby and go thru out her life and the evidence is right there. She’s been super girly as long as I can Remember. We tried so hard to make sure to give the option of hey you don’t have to like pink and glitter you could like camo and legos if you want and we always got the same result, pink and glitter. I grew up on a farm in Mississippi and was very much so a tomboy growing up. So for me to have this very girlie girl was a complete and utter shock. When I found out I was even having a girl my first reaction was how is that gonna work out jokingly.

Referring to gender she hits of the social norms of a little girl meaning that as a female she is VERY feminine. In this weeks theme we also touched on social scripts in the readings as well as in the lecture. In the study of the Ideal Girl the parents of the focus group were asked different questions about how there daughters were influenced by movies for example. Reading this I instantly related to the topic and to the answer that they gave. In Disney princess movies, the princess is almost always rescued by the princes, they kiss to break the spell and they live happily ever after, ever time. My daughter has lived off these movies since she was born, I will admit though she does like the kinda scary movies a bit more, for example the nightmare for chritmas and james and the gaint peach. We unknowingly girl, our little girls and in one of my pictures my daughter is a week old and is on a pillow that says, “ it’s girl” I am pretty sure that was an example given in class. It’s almost the cultural circle that we do to ourselves as a society where we don’t even know that were doing it. As big of a tomboy as I was I really loved the little mermaid and probably watched that movie a million times but I thought ariel was awesome and pretty. With the cultural of my family though there was no room to be a girlie girl, I had chores to do when I was 6 feeding the animals and maybe for me those movies were the escape to girl land, I dunno I just wanted to verbalize that. I do think that conformity from parents is part of what I am talking about and that as parents we just want to keep our kids safe. The kid who isn’t what is considered “normal” because those kids are subjected now to bullying. An example of this is a kid who is transgender the parent could be totally fine with the decision but personally just worry about bullying by there peers.

I also think that as a society we put this pressure on ourselves and others on how we should parent. Which isn’t right but we all gossip and do it. I remember in Seattle they had this huge fountain near the space needle that I would take my daughter to in the summer. It was really hot that day and you just can’t prepare for stuff like that there like you can in Arizona, it happens so randomly. Anyways, it was super hot that day and we had been playing on the play ground and she wanted to go into to the fountain but she wanted to take her shirt off. At this point I think she was 4 so I said sure and some mom came up to me talking about how could I let my daughter run around without a shirt on. I thought it was the craziest thing but goes into the gender policing that we do in society.

Looking over your slides from this lesson I believe was involved with a gender transgression which is the result of gender policing. In society I don’t really think you can stop gender policing, it’s just part of our culture to make girls girlie and boy into men. I do think that the worst type of gender policing that can happen is parental. Kids should be able to be free and open around the people they trust the most in the world. To me I think it is the worst kind of bully because it’s one that you can’t escape. For example, a dad doesn’t like that his son plays with dolls and as a result belittles and possibly may even beat him, that dad has know turned that boys safe place into a hostile environment where he can no longer be himself. In our lecture on the matter it was mentioned that this type of parenting style has terrible affects on kids,from: low self-esteem, anxiety and depression.

The last point I would like to bring light to is self policing, and I’ve already caught my daughter doing it. She told me one day she didn’t want clothes from the thrift store any more because her friends only get new clothes. This tells me someone made fun of her but you can’t even tell some of her clothes are thrift store bought. This is my daughter trying to protect her self which I understand but it isn’t truly needed and it saddens me to that it is already happening at such a age.

Moral of the story is that being a kid is hard, being a parent is hard and the only thing you can do is be a good parent and give your kids options and try not to fit them in a box.

This week we watched a movie on people who are intersex. I think this topic is so important because of the medical aspect of the issue. This video that I choose is part of a vlog serious that shows everyday life stuff about being intersex and helps explain what intersex is. I think that from our movie that we watched in class it is important to remember that as parents that we don’t have to choose a gender for our kids that suffer from this. Many people who do have this were choose as a baby what gender they would be and alot of times the doctors who did this picked the wrong one. I think it’s important as parents to remember that this isn’t the end of the world and when the get older it most likely becomes clearer what sex your child will be and that also that it’s all going to be ok.

#week 5

This week we read an article called, The ‘Pinking’ of Viagra Culture: Drug Industry Efforts to Create and Repackage Sex Drugs for Women. The concept that there maybe a pill raise your sex drive I think is amazing but as the video I found explains that it isn’t that effect. Currently the only drug that the FDA is working on approving has a lot of side effects doesn’t have that much of an affect on women's sex drive. I wonder if they will ever figure it out,I mean Vigra started off as a blood pressure pill and it was only discovered during it’s testing that it had other side effects. My other thought on the subject is that maybe people can’t figure out vaginas. I mean we have lost issues with cancer and not mention endometriosis which causes extreme pain and infertility. Maybe it’s just not in the cards for us but if they ever do figure it out me and the wifey will for sure purchase some.

#week 6

This week we had an article that talked about in home sex toy parties and how woman are being more open sexually. I found this great pod cast on the subject and decided to share it. On this note I would actually like to share about the time I went to one of these parties at my friends house. I went to one maybe 6 years ago making me around 23 at the time. What I think was interesting was that I was the only single person at the party. Everyone else was married or in serious relationships looking to buy toys for them and there partners. You would assume going to this that it would be girls looking for stuff for themselves. Also if your goona get stuff fro you and your partner shouldn’t they also have input into this purchase. I mean they saw it as an excuse together and talk about sex and drink wine and buy some toys but I it wasn’t uncommon however these parties and they are the new tupperware party.

#week 7

This week we had an article that talked about how hard it is to get an abortion in the state of Texas. Since the pull of planned parent hood in the state they have seen an increase in all the bad fields that come with pregnancy: teen pregnancy, std rates, and deaths due to trying self home abortions. The picture above shows the decline of clinics from 2013-2017 and we see the drastic decline. It’s not only here though, in my home state of Mississippi they are down to one clinic and in Louisiana they are now down to 3.

#week 10

This week we had and article titled, 25 Everyday Examples of Rape Culture. One of the things on that list was cat calling. This has to be my favorite video on cat calling ever made. It basically says what if cat calling were like cheese burgers. It’s literally that best thing ever on a terrible subject. In our society of rape culture men fine that it is fine to talk to women like this however they please and whenever they please. It’s literally one of the most embarrassing things ever. One of the times I remember this happening to me is back in seattle at pikes place market, I was literally on my second date ever with who would be first girlfriend and we both had sun dresses on an a group of guys approached us and said, they both are wearing sun dresses but i’d like to see where the sun dont shine. My girlfriend yelled and threw her coffee at them to fix the situation but I don’t think I’ll literally every forget that. Instead of having a next memory about when I was coming out I have that stupid memory in my brain.

#week 12

This week the topic of most of our readings were about sexual assault on college campuses and how to prevent them. I choose the above picture because it had so much information on it, related to the topic this week. It states 52% of college women report knowing a friend who had experienced abusive behavior that they were dating. I for sure could check that box. 1 in 4 teens get abused from their partner via text. I remember having a friend in high school who was dating this guy and he would try to call my house to get me in trouble and I wasn’t even dating him. The list goes on and on for these types of things and we as a society need to make it better for not only girls but for everyone as men can also be victims in these situations.

#week 13

This week we had a reading titled, Flashing Your Phone: Sexting and the Remediation of Teen Sexuality. I choose to do my post on that video. Sexting is more than just sending nudes to your boyfriends or girlfriends but are actions that can some serious repercussions. In some states now you can be charged as a sex offender, and receive a serious jail time for share pictures with out the other parties consent. This especially applies to young girls under the age of 18 as in most cases it is considered child porn. Something so innocent can literally ruin your life if your not careful. The video above is a warning to teens to let them know the precautions of sexting.

#week 14

This week we read an article titled, Queering student perspectives: gender, sexuality and activism in school. I thought this video of a member of the LGBT community discussing why activism is import was a great fit for this video. Not only are kids trying to figure out life as it is but that we as members of the LGBT community have to important work to do, and how were suppose to go around getting that level of activism done.

#week 15 post

journal

I agree with her argument for the most part. I thought it was interesting where it say, “The women found men’s sexual interest at parties to be a source of self-esteem and status.” I thought this was interesting just based on my own experience as a young girl ,many…..many moons ago. Looking back at my teenage days, I do believe that I did peruse guys that were of a certain status. This was done unknowingly though, I myself didn’t want the status I think it was more of a type to be honest. For example, I use to do track and field at the University of Southern Mississippi, and my social group was all athletes, and I all I wanted to date at the time was athletes. It doesn’t seem like a hard conception either, most of our days were made up of working out or practicing so mostly we would just complain about being tired and took broke to buy a decent meal. Back to the topic however, I find it unrelatable to say that girls would willingly try to sleep with men for status and that status could be used for sexual advance by mean. However, when I think of famous people I feel like most people would have some type of sexual relation with them if ever given the chance to and I could see how a man could take advantage with a status to exploit women. Not to talk down about men but I do see how it can be exploited and how the article relates to it in that way. The following statement for the article sums up what I am trying to say perfectly, “men give attention to women en route to getting sex, and women are unlikely to become interested in sex without getting attention first”. Men were willing to give the minimum about of attention in order to gain sex from high status women which was there goal of the night. Alcohol helps them to achieve this goal and allows them to intoxicate women. I remember going to a party once and there was a guy who I thought was super cute and we had talked a few times at other parites and that night he was talking to me. What a great night I thought, that was until he told me he didn’t have sex with condoms on because he kept him from getting a full erection. I thought that was the biggest load of garbage I had ever heard but we continued to hang out as friends, that is till he lterally kept encouraging me to drink. I didn’t sleep with him but I woke up still drunk the next morning and thinking that he had tried to get me drunk in order to sleep with me the way he wanted too. Armstrong makes vaild points in argument but I think the most successful one is about status. I don’t really agree about the women sleeping with men to gain status but I do see how men could use status in order to sleep with women.

As a sex worker a lot of what you hear might be unrepeatable, but these nuggets they share raise eyebrows for a different reason. -- Click here to subscribe ...

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This week our topics were on sex workers. I found this video for my group discussion and thought it was a light hearted way to start our discussion this week. I personnaly think that sex work should not be criminalized at all. If a women or a man in some cases what to take it on themselves to go out and be a sex worker, then they should have that right to do so. I think it goes back to have we as a society view abortions, it the women body and it should be the same with sex work as well. The stigma that goes into sex work is that these girls are unclean and not wanted in society but that’s not true as sex work is the oldest profession. I hope that in the near future we see changes to the court system. I most definitely think that changes should be made nation wide to have a similar court structure like they do in New York for women in sex work. I don’t think its fair to send these women to jail when it’s the act that should be crinimiazed from the buyers. In this day and time it just doesn’t make any sense.

journal 5

The picture I choose this week really spoke to me from the Vice article that we were assigned to read this week. The Vice news articled talked about the court system in place in New York that help women get help for being a sex worker. I will say that from the article it seemed that the court wasn’t very pro sex workers however. The judge at one point even said no little girl grows up wishing to be a sex worker. Which begs the question, what if they do. I found a video for my group leader discussion where some of the girls loved their job just because of the context that they were their own boss, which I think is a concept I hadn’t thought of when thinking of a sex worker.

One thing that I learned from reading and researching about sex workers, not to be confused with people who are being sex trafficked, is that they really do enjoy what they do. I think that in order to protect these men and women we should put laws in place to help protect them, instead of to criminalize them. Sometimes in life this is the path that you have to go down and these women who do enjoy it, really enjoy it. Just like the cam girls, they found a way to meet a financial need. The cam girls are legal however but they aren’t any less personal than what the sex workers are doing in real life. More protections need to be made to help these women be protected so that they can come forward when bad things happen at work, like rape. Almost all raped sex workers don’t report the rape because then they must tell what they were doing and could potentially face another charge on top of this.

I learned this week that in the state of Arizona a person under 18 can’t consent to sex, at the same time though a girl who has been trafficked can be charged with prostitution. I think this is the most backwards thing I ‘ve ever heard of, any for Arizona. More laws need to be put into place to help protect them and to a get better understanding of how to deal with these types of things in the court system. These girls don’t’ need more criminal chargers after going thru a terrible situation like being trafficked, they need understanding, and probably some conciling to help them get on with their lives.

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post 5

The type of sex ed that I had was taught to me in my home state of Mississippi. I don’t’ ever remember my parents talking to me about the talk ever. My talk came from school in the 6th grade, and I went to religious school so this was a very awkward day, I do remember that. They spilt us up, the girls went with the teacher and boys went with the priest from the school. I thought it was so weird that the boys had to talk to the priest, just weird, and they were other men at school that could of done it but I think they did it this way to give it a religious take for the boys. Our teacher sat down the girls and started to ask us if we know anything about sex. That was the worst! I do remember that they taught us mostly about birth control and that’s about all I remember. I don’t recall talking about STD’s but how a baby is made. I will say that my next encounter with the sex talk didn’t come until I was 19 in the Navy. They showed us the worst of the worst STD’s pictures I have ever seen and it just reminded me of the coach on mean girls that says, if you have sex you will get AIDS and DIE!

#post 5

journal 3

This week for my journal topic I am gonna touch on the continued topic of female masturbation. The taboo of female masturbation is nothing knew to our world. Men are assumed to just masturbate, men are always wanting sex so they must always masturbate. It’s a norm in society that we all know and it’s everywhere. Any teen movie reinforces it, for example American Pie. The question is where are the movies about female masturbation, that isn’t porn. I think the first time I remember seeing this and not realizing what was happening was the movie Pleasantville. It’s the scene where the mom in the bathtub and she actually starts masturbating and she turns from gray to color as she orgasms. I had no idea what was happening in this scene, and I think I was 11 or 12 when I saw this. It wasn’t till I was almost in my 20’s that I re watched it and realized what the hell was going on in that scene. I think it’s incredible that nobody pointed out once the many times that I saw this movie what was happening, but I also remember watching American Pie and it was this big deal about seeing it because the main character had sex with a warm pie. Yet, no talk about female masturbation, it was something that was learned on my own. I think that it’s sad that girls aren’t taught this at an early age and I do believe that it goes back to how we are raised. I don’t think many people talk to their daughters sexual lives, especially not as children. I think the best way to change this is to teach our daughters about their own bodies and what they do. It’s not only girls who don’t know about their bodies, most boys don’t even know what a clit is much less what part of the vagina it actually is. I think we as parents do a great disservice to our kids by doing this and not actually teaching them about sex. Another thing that really bugs me is that females masturbation that does occur in heterosexual relationships often occurs for the pleasure of their male partners. It’s never just done for the girl in most cases and if it is then it’s frown on in most cases by the male in the relationship.

#journal 3

post 3

This week we were prompted to write about the most discussing pod cast I’ve ever heard. This week learned about three doctors that did experimental practices on themselves. First of all, this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. I mean I get it, it’s all in the name of medicine and science but I can’t get on board with that. One of the doctors injected soldiers with yellow fever, which I learned from the pod cast isn’t curable. It’s treatable but not curable, like what the hell were these people thinking. I understand that they were being paid a huge amount of money in gold at the time but no. That’s gonna be a NOPE for me, hard pass. Some of the people who took part in the study DIED! All for the name of science but I am not gonna be infecting my self any time soon in the name of duty or science. I do see why they choose to do this to the soldiers that they were doing it to because it was thought that they should use the soldiers in the area because if they were stationed in that area it was assumed that they would be getting yellow fever. I get the logic behind this as it allowed these people to have better access to care that they normally wouldn’t have. I am originally from Mississippi and this makes me wonder if at some point during the west nile virus outbreak that started back in the early 2000’s if some fool was willing to inject themselves with this. The west nile virus can cause you to lose a limb, it literally kills the muscle around the infected site. I will tell you if someone came to me and said hey since you live in the area your probably going to get this and we will have the best medical care to help you incase you do become infected during the experiment. I would tell them no, maybe even hell no. I lived in Mississippi until I was 18 and never knew anyone that that had this but at the time they made it sound like we were all gonna suffer from this, but luckily none us did. So with this on my mind I just can’t justice why these soilders would put themselves at risk to infect themselves with a incurable disease. Maybe they wouldn’t of gotten it but it says that they did it for the money, which range from 8,000 to 20,000 dollars paid in gold. It was on the higher side of the pay scale if they actually contracted yellow fever.

http://www.maximumfun.org/tags/sydnee-mcelroy

#post 3

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