Being vulnerable is not an easy thing. I have come to the stage where sharing is a very difficult thing to do, even to my loved ones. To be vulnerable means to open yourself to others in hope that others will understand and support you. But it’s almost the rarest thing we found in the world. Our human traits, judging, is the most fatal thing that will come up when we share something. But the worst thing is, we all do that, likewise to other. By that, then, we hurting each others deeply than ever before because we all open up ourself to every single possibilities, we broke trusts.
I have been in a, serious, relationship for almost 5 years now. Like any other love stories, mine starts with a very beautiful beginning. We share almost everything, from important to unnecessary things. The love was grow beautifully, it was perfect. The road was paved for us, even thought we still need to face a lot of obstacles. Then comes time where we should be separated by distance.
The love still continue, but the string become thinning. I began to understand the meaning of time and space. Yes, it changes you. More obstacles were coming and we both struggle. The most painful thing is that I realized that no one will support me, because this is about my own life. The same goes to my loved ones.
When we talk about ourselves, people tend to pretend hearing it, yet they see themselves in our stories. Then comes the time to judging. They see the best thing that could be done if they were us, yet they couldn’t see what the best for their own. We break, we fall down one by one, alone.
The sharing moments has stop. We are very busy with our own life. We start to showing our daily activities in social media, not exclusively to each other again. There, I begin to thing that it’s no longer necessary to share things with her. I have lost interest, curiosity about her. She spends many times with others, not me, and yet I do the same. I feel less special, it hurts me a lot. I began to close myself, to hide her from my sight, in hope that I won't feel hurt anymore to know that she's happy without me. I could not blame her for that, because deep down I know, that I have become part of it too. I choose to be separated by distance.
Right now I am pathetically watching TV. Imagining that I can watch it beside of her and share everything with her again like we used to be. Yet, life goes on with an expected ending.
