mesmerized ♡ @mesmerizedgoddess - Tumblr Blog

Wasn’t it love? And if it wasn’t, then what was it? Didn’t you feel a sort of affection towards me? And I, you? A fondness? A care? A curiosity? A love?

If not love, then what? Something subtler? Or less than? Not quite there? If it was that, then what was missing? Ought I to have spoken out more? Admitted what I was feeling? Is it really so difficult for two people to find each other? Find - meaning, to open up. Find - meaning, to be exposed. Find - meaning, to understand one another.

Wasn’t it love, for you? For me it was a wish, a desire, a want, a thought, a dream, a realisation, a belief. Wasn’t it love for you?

I never doubted that it was love for me.

Sue Zhao

mesmerizedgoddess

reblogging bc this was me 5 years ago 🤪

mesmerizedgoddess

a few days before 2014, a close friend of mine sent me a pm via fb. he told me he wanted to end his life. i was shocked bec i never thought that he would even consider doing it. i didn’t know what to do. i was not confident enough that i could help him, but i tried my best. fortunately, after hours of giving him a bunch of advice & telling him not to do it, he was finally convinced. although, he said that he wasn’t really sure if he could stop, but he said he would try not to do it. he thanked me after bec i helped him a lot. he told me he knew i could that’s why i was the only one he opened up to. it really meant so much to me.

i am so glad that someone actually thinks that i am a good friend. he is better now. i hope he won’t think of killing himself again. i will just be here in case anything happens.

mesmerizedgoddess

searched the fb msgr for this convo just to make sure we are still keeping in touch. honestly, i already forgot about that this happened. i'm happy that i found him and our convo. we're still talking, and i know he's so much better now. see you soon, my friend! ❤️

mesmerizedgoddess

How we met may be a cliche, but still it is one of my favorites. I met you in my NSTP class. We were classmates. It was supposedly my last sem in the university, but I still hadn’t taken the subject. Although I already knew that I was delayed, I still strategized my way on getting a slot in the subject. I chose the first section not knowing that it would bring me closer you.

We started as friends. I was still with someone else when we met, but that relationship was already breaking. And you were there. You were my happy pill, and you still are. You had unknowingly saved me from the pain of the reality that someone chose to leave me again. The first months of being with you was full of happiness and love. I made a mistake, but you chose to stay anyway. It is one of the lovely things someone has ever done to me. I told myself that I would do my best to make it up to you.

We were happy. But frustrations came, anger and bitterness grew, a lot of fights happened… And yet we stayed. We may have thought of letting go, but we go back every time and try to fix us.

Our love story is not a fairytale, but it is my favorite. We may have destroyed each other many times before, but I still choose to be destroyed with you. Because I know that we can survive this, and be the better person for each other. I know we can make through this and help each other grow. I choose to be happy, and unhappy with you. I choose the bittersweet feeling with you over all other sweet things in the world. I choose you.

In your arms, I found solace. I love you.

mesmerizedgoddess

this is crazy. and of course, toxic. imagine forcing myself to believe that it was my all my fault... love should not be destructive.

hi

here just to reminisce and cringe 😋

((and maybe i'll start posting again??))

lol hilig ko humawak sa ulo.. sakit e?? (at Sumilon Island) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3g5B-HDpmH/?igshid=q65ir9tzlp9s

at Moalboal, Cebu https://www.instagram.com/p/B3RwbT6DAzD/?igshid=viqsoyk7dtfi

🌸🌸🌸 https://www.instagram.com/p/BvOhfvSDeWZ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1hci0rp7545ct

ola https://www.instagram.com/p/BvDwfBrjgZY/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=sd9dxc51x2ef

😊🌸 https://www.instagram.com/p/Br7uenMDTek/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1u3srdw8uaup1

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

mesmerized ♡