I went into this with a lifetime of quiet reflection behind me. How do people like me actually exist? I know, of course, that they exist. That they carry themselves through the world, buying groceries, getting stuck in traffic, and, hopefully, smiling for no particular reason.
But how do they do... this? How do you love? How do you live?
This weekend, I finally got to see your faces and hear your stories. Meet kindred spirits. Learn from those who have walked where I walk. I got to have conversations that were so ungodly specific that no one except us could possibly understand. I think I spoke more words during AUNT than during any other 3-day period of my entire life (like,,, actually).
This experience was more meaningful than I expected it to be. I cried multiple times, made genuine friends, saw so many ways to love and live, and got to do some pretty ridiculously fun things.
Never could I have possibly imagined what it's like to be at a party at 4 am listening to peals of laughter erupt from every direction as old friends tickle the fuck out of each other with some previously-unknown-to-me balance of nonchalance and earnest passion. While exchanging glances with dancing vegetables, at that.
Still, the small moments gifted to me out of kindness from strangers who quickly became family are what made this experience so powerful.
@awkweirdtato, you are THE SWEETEST human being. Had you not taken me under your wing (which you had NO reason to do), I would have struggled so much to start meeting people and feeling comfortable in my skin. It was so much fun getting to check in with you throughout the event, progressively witnessing slightly deeper and more honest parts of each other. You always made me feel safe and cared for, I genuinely could not imagine this experience without you.
@shy-ticklish-lee the entire sequence of meeting you, learning about you, sharing my own story, and creating a beautiful scene with you was something out of a dream. Never in my life have I felt that good that quickly. Never have I dared to imagine something like that was possible. Thank you so, so much for saying hi to me. Perhaps you're not so shy, after all ;)
@jerjero your medical knowledge saved me! Thank you. For context, I had hurt my shoulder trying to show off like an idiot and was slightly freaking out about it before he reassured me and let me know that I would most likely survive! Thank you for being a safe and supportive presence throughout this entire event.
@sptfrtkl, @mister-ttt, @thetiniestrhino you are each legends and men I wish to emulate as I step into this community. Thank you for speaking to me, and although it was brief, it was very special to see you in person. To get a sense of what it looks like to carry oneself with dignity in this space.
@theminipotat ahhhh I know we spoke way too briefly but I probably wouldn't have even gone to this event if not for you (you were literally the only person I knew going into this 😭) and for that I owe you a massive debt.
@puzz-ler dude, your presence. And your playlist?! Holy shit. I feel like you're single handedly responsible for a non-trivial percentage of first IRL interactions throughout the community. Thank you for making this entire thing such a fun and inclusive vibe.
@yourlittlettoy our short conversation was surprisingly deep. Thank you so much for it. It was also a little crazy to learn that your laugh, in fact, ACTUALLY sounds like that.
@justt-funn thank you so much for the shot! I only feel compelled to drink maybe twice a year? And this was definitely special enough to be one of them.
@achillestickler it was an honor to meet you, you are beyond a legend and somehow it still blows my mind that you are an actual, real human being. And a very lovely one at that. You've been making subtle impressions on me for... half my life, now!
@the-shizzu first, mirin' the stache. And thank you for taking me with you on your little smoke-break. It definitely gave me chilling-with-the-cool-coworker vibes. You, more than anyone I can think of, embody the absolute capacity to wear this on your sleeve. It was inspiring and grounding to see.
@sugarsoakertkl I really enjoyed each of our mini moments. You existed as something of a celebrity in my mind before all of this, and it was beyond cool to see you flourishing and confirm that that status is well-deserved.
@sillysadi you were easily responsible for causing me more bashful and embarrassed smiles than anyone I'd met, which is impressive for how few times we ran into each other. I think I'm going to have to practice my poker face for next time!
@kylespenceboy thank you so much for the compliment you gave me. It might be a surprise to you, but no one has ever said that to me before. It was incredibly sweet of you. I really appreciated seeing your face throughout the event. It is such a kind, thoughtful one.
@happydayz101 thank you for the hug :') It was something of a microcosm of this entire experience. Being welcomed warmly for no reason at all.
@knotyoursoftkore thank you so much for your guidance and presence helping us newbies out! I also really appreciate your management over on the server and leading up to the event.
Though there were so many more people who made this experience special for me, I could not find their tumblrs!
Thank you all for each of these treasured things. I want to hold on to them.