Perpetual Obfuscation

[hachiiroku]

Microapartments in Neotokyo

Source: instagram etherealtimecapsule

[blackeneddeatheye]

日本のナイト・ライフ ＸＸＸＶＩＩ

[uroko]

Rainy day in Kyoto

[metromesses]

Time heals all wounds, isn't that what they say?

But it doesn't really, I don't think. It's almost absurd. A bruised banana doesn't perk up in a month. Why should a bruised organ?

Just sounds like foolish propaganda. Forget what felt real. Go to a club. Go buy something nice. Go get a new outfit! Was it really bad? Go buy a bottle. Or maybe a new phone, or vehicle, and while you're at it, meet someone new.

Jump back out there. Listen to the anthems, be motivated. Agree with everyone else doing the same and be inspired. Download bumble. What, feeling spicy? Download tinder. Let it rip! Be distracted. But into the ritualistic motions, you can do it! Nevermind that you thought it was different. Nevermind the sudden rewiring of your mind and nervous system. Dopamine will cover it! What are you, stupid? What, can't be happy with shiny things? Try therapy. All these feelings you have? Yeah, just chemistry. You can train yourself to be rid of all that and seek complacency! It's that easy!

Forget the yearning. Forget feeling that inner child move for the first time in what feels like forever and run towards another suddenly slamming door between yourself and someone who felt like they occupied this insufferable ever expanding silence, you can just let it go, give it time! It's just a bruise on your forehead, a little blood in your nose; it'll stop. Shouldn't have let the kid sprint. Shouldn't be too optimistic about those feelings, but if you still got em, give it time. Time heals all wounds.. but the body never forgets what it survives.

[ysociety]

[ancientsstudies]

Okunoin Cemetery by jon_wooden.

[metromesses]

Last month I sat at weekly magic with the guys and Josh put on a song by Bad Bunny. I knew of him (hard not to as a Latino) but I'd never felt compelled to tap into his music so for me, this was my first exposure to his music. His turns traditionally take an eternity which gave me plenty of time to really focus on the lyrics and God, did I. No differently from a desperate deer did I feel, dashing through a clearing, struck by these lyrics and feelings as though they were a perfectly thrown spear through me. I had to slap cold water onto my face to keep from crying. Only when I returned home could I stand to try listening on my own, crying in a shower like a lost child. I'm told that crying is a sign of progress, and I want to believe it but I feel horrible about it. Crying over someone who could never feel the same for me feels like anything but progress. Constantly licking wounds and thinking of those ojitos lindas.

[eternallykakurenbo]

Ueno/Akihabara 2025

[avalonrisingcomic]

“I waited for you. I waited and waited.” — Blue Valentine (2010)

[eternallykakurenbo]

Ueno/Akihabara

[santa-ana-winds]

[twistedspecterjinx]

[eternallykakurenbo]

Tabata 2025

[nevver]

Night hawks, Bálint Popovits

[noirlac]

[ysociety]

[metromesses]

I don't really feel like I know you anymore. That isn't true at all, it isn't; but the feeling never goes away. Honestly? I really like it. I really actually appreciate this feeling. It's one I've never been able to enjoy. "Not knowing" has always been one of if not the greatest fear I've ever had, but I don't feel scared. I feel excited. I feel like there's more to look forward to now.

The things you say, the choices you make, it's all as though you've evolved. Like finding a great many doors leading to unexplored rooms in a home I thought I knew inside & out.

Your responses feel new. Your choices carry more authority, more strength. You have never seemed this decisive. You carry the air of someone familiar but far more aware. It is as though growth has become a tandem tactic between us, which I couldn't predict would be or feel this way. Is this love? I know what I used to believe. I know how my past iteration would process this. "See? You were always able to be this way, why couldn't you be nicer to me before?" That's what I know I would have thought, but that hasn't happened yet. I've spent days and days trying to make sense of this. I haven't, because I don't really care. I don't need to understand why. I'm just beside myself with shock that this has happened..that we are here.

This is what I wanted. This is what I want, this is what I like. You are what I like. I feel constantly surprised by you. Like every day just may be Christmas and I have no calendar. But it IS scary.. To know there's all these rooms, all these changes in someone I've known for nearly a decade, I'm worried about finding locked rooms. I'm afraid of finding anywhere I'm not welcome but it's not real it's a strong fear. It's not enough to keep me from trying, or exploring. I feel like the only locks I need to think about are my own, and all of this is so odd to be faced with after so long.

I feel like I've found proof of something only I've believed in my whole life. Finding all the evidence of something magical but I'm not interested in proving it to anyone anymore. Is that selfish? I don't know. I really don't know. I feel like I've walked through the gates of Eden and I don't want to tell anyone where it is. And that isn't going to change, either.. unless it's for /her/ maybe, but even that feels like a maybe because I don't think she believes in this heaven that I've found. And that's sad, but, I'm really not interested in lamenting over who isn't in Heaven tonight. Maybe that's because I'm different, too.

I am. You are. This is.. and I'm thrilled to be here, I'm absolutely eager to find every new space in this mansion of you.