witchy summer @midnight-in-the-hanging-tree - Tumblr Blog

lmaoo back from a two year hiatus and I'm married, finally graduated, and employed in something else altogether. I have a mortgage now!

I also lost someone I loved to that 2019 disease (in March 2021).

I feel like a different person, kinda. But it feels good to be back to this virtual dreamworld. Thought I'd take advantage of Twitter's impeding collapse and get back into writing and stuff.

#y #personal

nevver

Adam Tan, RIP

#painting

withincellsinterlinked

#suburra

withincellsinterlinked

Ti porto a casa. Andiamo a casa?

#it hurts so good though #suburra

spadeliano

#suburra

msjemmxswift

“Did we look like lovers or partners in crime? Did you look like mine? Or did we look like fools Tryna get away with it all?”

#this is how my baby must be remembered #suburra

no gifs of the suburra series finale for me, thanks. i’m pretending it didn’t happen.

#suburra

kiernwalker

Same energy

#this show broke my heart #suburra

byjove

My ideal date? You release me into the wild to hunt me for sport on your remote island BUT I’m not very good at hiding so you find me within 20 minutes. You hold the gun to my face but there is something so earnest in my eyes and hands that you cannot carry through. You pick me up and carry me back to your mansion. I am so polite and charming that you nurse me back to health. You grow to love and trust me despite the fact you’re holding me hostage after I fell of a charter vessel bound for Brazil. You buy me new clothes and have them shipped to the island. I kiss you good morning every day. You propose marriage. I accept. We skype in a priest and get married with the butler as our witness. That night I kill you and the butler. I redistribute your wealth. I live in the mansion on the abandoned island for the rest of my days. I study snail ecology. I never remarry. You were the love of my life but you were too dangerous and evil to live. I am buried next to you. The tides eventually wash our bodies away. Into the depths of the ocean, together.

red-swimmerz-deactivated2021082

id go to like, an olive garden

prokopetz

That thing about how cats think humans are big kittens is a myth, y’know.

It’s basically born of false assumptions; folks were trying to explain how a naturally solitary animal could form such complex social bonds with humans, and the explanation they settled on is “it’s a displaced parent/child bond”.

The trouble is, cats aren’t naturally solitary. We just assumed they were based on observations of European wildcats - but housecats aren’t descended from European wildcats. They’re descended from African wildcats, which are known to hunt in bonded pairs and family groupings, and that social tendency is even stronger in their domesticated relatives. The natural social unit of the housecat is a colony: a loose affiliation of cats centred around a shared territory held by alliance of dominant females, who raise all of the colony’s kittens communally.

It’s often remarked that dogs understand that humans are different, while cats just think humans are big, clumsy cats, and that’s totally true - but they regard us as adult colonymates, not as kittens, and all of their social behaviour toward us makes a lot more sense through that lens.

They like to cuddle because communal grooming is how cats bond with colonymates - it establishes a shared scent-identity for the colony and helps clean spots that they can’t easily reach on their own.

They bring us dead animals because cats transport surplus kills back to the colony’s shared territory for consumption by pregnant, nursing, or sick colonymates who can’t easily hunt on their own. Indeed, that’s why they kill so much more than they individually need - it’s not for fun, but to generate enough surplus kills to sustain the colony’s non-hunting members.

They’re okay with us messing with their kittens because communal parenting is the norm in a colony setting, and us being colonymates in their minds automatically makes us co-parents.

It’s even why many cats are so much more tolerant toward very small children, as long as those children are related to one of their regular humans: they can tell the difference between human adults and human “kittens”, and your kittens are their kittens.

Basically, you’re going to have a much easier time getting a handle on why your cat does why your cat does if you remember that the natural mode of social organisation for cats is not as isolated solitary hunters, but as a big communal catpile - and for that purpose, you count as a cat.

#cats #favorite

just-shower-thoughts

Boobs are the best stress balls

headspace-hotel

people think of goats as being so chaotic and full of criminality. But let me ask you this. If you COULD just smash your head into anything you wanted whenever you felt like it with no consequences, wouldn’t you?

headspace-hotel

The life of a goat is ideal. To scream all the time and be naked and unable to read, to have never heard of accountability for one’s actions.

eugeniedanglars

BEYOND obsessed with this house in fort worth, texas i mean

okay pretty normal, let’s look at the interior photos—

WHAT THE FUCK

here we see the first example of a pattern that will recur throughout the house, which is that once your eyes adjust to the bonkers dictator chic marble-and-gilded-everything, you notice some pretty egregiously shoddy workmanship. look at how that baseboard intersects with the outlet. look at how the marble… uh, thing on the wall (i was gonna call it a fireplace but it’s not a fireplace, i have no idea what that is) has gaps and weird angles wherever two pieces meet. it’s like they’re trying to recreate versailles on an ikea budget

i… don’t hate the kitchen. i mean, obviously it’s ugly and #toomuch and there was zero effort made to match the very modern appliances and sink to the cabinets, but still, i’m a sucker for a pass-through and a big sink with a window above it.

this ceiling Fucks but the wrinkly, uneven curtains and terrible caulking around the faux-column in the middle anti-Fuck

why did we suddenly completely switch aesthetics. why is there an old TV set into the wall at floor level. why is there a tiny set of doors next to it. why does the fireplace look like an asset ripped from the original dark souls. i feel a sinister presence sucking at my soul the longer i look at this photo

i feel like whoever designed this monstrosity started with the dining room and then once they’d finished it realized they’d blown half their budget on just this one room. it’s so overdecorated that the gaudiness feels intentional, like it’s a statement rather than a side effect of genuine tastelessness. i can applaud that.

here we have the antithesis of the dining room. i don’t know what this room is supposed to be but i hate it. i’m pretty sure everything in this photo literally came from ikea. there is a lack of commitment here and it is rancid

ladies, gentlemen, distinguished colleagues, we have now hit the cornerstone of any great tacky real estate listing: the heart-shaped bathtub! this one gets bonus points for being next to a gilded mirror and surrounded by bright red damask wallpaper. as a bathtub i’d give it a 1/10 because those angles look incredibly uncomfortable, but as a place to shoot my lover through the heart while wearing a gauzy fur-trimmed bathrobe before fleeing with our ill-gotten fortune i’d give it a solid 11/10

here we are with the lack of commitment again. this literally looks like the kitchen in my college dorm but with a weird fringey lamp and some curtains that are absolutely too long for their windows

again, the mix of styles here is just killing me. half damask wallpaper and carved wall panels, half normal-ass bathroom? really? isn’t there anything truly unhinged left in this house? anything truly opulent, decadent, off the chain, extravagant, gaudy—

THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT BAY BEE!!! THAT’S MORE THE FUCK LIKE IT!!! COMMIT! TO! THE! BIT! GO BIG OR GO HOME! IF YOU’RE GONNA STICK A CEILING DOME IN THE FOYER OF YOUR SUBURBAN TEXAS HOUSE IT HAD BETTER BE TWELVE FEET IN DIAMETER AND PAINTED WITH DOZENS OF FLOWERS OR ELSE WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE EVEN DOING HERE??

and finally, to close out the show, a reminder that this entire acid trip of a real estate listing took place in an ordinary, modern single-story house in texas, one with a backyard and utility boxes on the exterior walls and neighbors who may be blissfully unaware that they live mere feet from a yawning pit of madness.

i love tacky real estate listings.

golddustdyke

nothing is embarrassing to me anymore . life is genuinely too short to be embarrassed by anything , especially because i’ve had moments in my life where i’ve been embarrassed by merely existing . I do silly things and i write silly things and i say silly things and i wear silly things and i just love being silly . there’s nothing embarrassing about that !

#big mood #goals