Illusion

Safe place for people who struggle with anger

[midnight1bloom]

I hope you know about the anger you caused inside me. The guilt after I scratched myself to the point I still have marks of it 3 years later. My body remembers. My mind remembers.

[midnight1bloom]

When every time my anger feels like I’m being torn apart from the inside.

Only thing that can calm me down is self harming myself in any way until I feel that unbearable pain. After that I feel like a monster.

I get mad at everything. Everyone. When I’m mad, I think of the worst scenarios which I would never think of normally. I wish all those things to people in my mind when I’m mad.

But the thing is. I really cannot control anything. I can’t control my mind, my self harming. Anything. I hyperventilate. I scream. I throw things.

After any anger attack I feel so disgusted with myself. Like I have let someone completely different take control of my whole body. My whole mind.

Anytime I say something to my friends out of anger I regret it the second I’m calm again. Why would I say that? Why couldn’t I stop?

My skin. My body aches of the thought of my anger. No one will ever fully understand me.

“I need to break free from the anger that is constantly inside of me.”