Mika Ray @mika-ray5 - Tumblr Blog

POST CONCERT FROM B.I (KIM HANBIN) 🥵

09/06/24 || So recently, I went to B.I Concert again this year, and it was one hell of a night 🤣🤣

The day after the concert, obviously, I got PCD (post-concert depression) because it went by so fast🥹 Also I relisten all of his songs on the concert set list. But other than that, my day went as per normal, working , went to get supper with my boyfriend and went back home to sleep.

I just had the B.E.S.T dream of my life.. because I dreamed of Kim motherfking Hanbin 🥵🥵. In my dream, he was asking me if we could hang out the whole day , the day after the concert (don't know which country I went haha) , I was like "sure why not??"In my heart, I was beating so fast, hahah.

So we hung out, but this man was treating me like I'm his date 😳😳, taking pictures together, holding my hand, looking at me, and smiling. Then, lastly, we were back in his hotel room, and guess what?? He wants to cuddle with me~~~ AHHHHHHH

And that's when I woke up hahah🤣🤣 But it was the best dream I ever had, so thank you, B.I, for coming to SG again for your concert, and you made me officially your fan, an ID (his fandom name) 💖 ❤️ 💕

#b.i #kim hanbin #비아이 #hype up

It's FINALLY HAPPENING!!

Look at that pretty logo! And our first comeback performance is at K.A.I 2022 (K-Pop All In)

I'm so nervous that as the only original member in DI:VERSE, I wanna make DI:VERSE a good impression to the audience with my teammates. So let's go guys!

Gonna make it happen

After 5 years of hiatus and being active in CHECKMATE, I finally got to think that I wanna bring back my group DI:VERSE with a revamp.

Last week i was suggesting to my two good friends, Kevin and Phoebe, that i want to bring back DI:VERSE cause Phoebe and I were members of that dance group before went silence. And they don't mind to do it but its gonna be a surprise to some people that knows DI:VERSE and most of them who do not know DI:VERSE.

Since i decided wanna revamp DI:VERSE to a new dance group but keeping the same concepts/image. So last night, a lot of new ideas came up to my mind and i don't want to forget about it so i just went to note it down and this how i want it to be:

"I want DI:VERSE to be like phantom thieves where we steal the hearts of people with variety of cards (concepts) in our hands"

When i wrote that, i'm like, "damn, DI:VERSE has always been my baby", as I am the ONLY original member since 2014.

And of course, DI:VERSE is gonna be very different from any dance cover groups like what you see every practice , just like our motto stated, "There's no HARM being different" , cause why?

Not only we're gonna do KPOP dance covers, we're gonna do SELF-CHOREO covers and JPOP covers cause why not, you don't see or rarely seen any JPOP cover these days.

I just hope that we can make DI:VERSE happen again for as long as it can go. So DI:VERSE baby, i'm taking you back out of the dungeon and make you shine again with a new look. ♠️♥️♦️♣️🃏

My Spirit Animal: Manta Ray

I have no words to describe.. Its freaking magical for me.

My boyfie and I finally went on a WHOLE DAY date to SEA Aquarium, which I personally like the most because my best fwends are there, but they are at "wisk".

When we were appreciating the dolphins, we were approached by one of the staff and was offered an in-depth tour programme to learn more about the marine animals. So we agreed and paid for the programme.

The tour guide explained about the Open Habitat Tank and Dolphin Island (where we realised there were more dolphins than we expected).

One of the main themes of the tour mentioned was my most favourite of all.. The Manta Rays.

He told us about names of the rays, their various characteristics and how to differenciate them. Their names were Mika, Mako & Manja.

As he was explaining, I personally felt that I'm most attentitive when it came to my dear Manta Rays.

When we ended our tour, which was a very good experience, me and my boyfie spent more time at the Open Habitat Tank.

But the rarest of events happened when Mika, Mako & Manja decided to swim towards our direction.

I mean has anyone had seen ALL 3 Rays coming and swimming together? Not only did they swim towards us, they also started spin around like they're dancing in front of us (video below).

To any normal person, it is like "wahh stingray, etc".. But to me, it was very special moment. They were dancing in front of me as if they were paying a tribute to me. They somehow knew that I had a strong connection towards them, because they indeed are my spirit animals.

I was so emotional that this very very rare occasion happened. All 3 Manta Rays swam together, danced in front of me and I am so glad that i got to see them.

Me and my boyfie felt like I became best friends with them and I love them so much. Thank you Mika, Mako & Manja for showing your love to me. I'll come back soon okie💕

Mako.⚫ Manja.❤️ Mika.⚫⚪

This is their tribute to me, of them 'performing' for me. I've heard that they also dance in the seas/oceans; That's why i love them.

Two-Faced Fucking Bitch

Wow... Just wow. The more i think about it, the more anger that i don't even fucking wanna go back to work. Like come on ah, you're fucking 41 years old... 4 1.. And you behave like a fucking 4 years old.

We only went for a break to get fresh air and what the fuck did you? You fucking told boss that we went to eat and even mentioned orders for next day will do on that day.. All these you put the blame on the new pastry chef..

Oh guess what? IT WAS YOU WHO MADE ALL THESE RULES before you fucking change the rules without warning... You even took the new girl to one side and said "you don't be rude to the service staff" and im like, "hello, who are you supposed to be with? Service or Pastry? Why are you against your own fucking team when you needed people so desparately in the bakery?"

Girl, if you think you're smart, you're wrong. You have made the wrong choice of your life bitch. You played your game.. But i reversed it.

And i made a damn good impact on the company. I gave back my uniforms with the help of my bf and left just like that..

Now you want me back bitch? My answer to you is FUCKING NO! You even said sorry to me BUT you fucking took it back by deleting it, thats even more amazing. Well done. You blocked me through Whatsapp also no point.. Cause i'm not even talking to you anyway. You went over my borderline and this is what you get you fucking bitch. You and the company don't even fucking deserve me at all.. So girl bye

No one will recognised who i am now...

These days social media platforms has become somehow very "toxic". The amount of likes on my instagram has decreased dramatically because my talents in dancing and baking slowly become unrecognisable to some people.

Though i danced for 11 years and i pursued my diploma in pastry & baking , in the end i decided to stay in the shadows and let others get the spotlight or get recognition.

In my mind always say, " i want to get noticed by people but at the same time, i wanna stay in shadows"

I guess i couldn't find my own special contents that makes people to recognise me..

So yeah.. Guess i'll just be like a normal person who just dance and bake.

Side note, It is true that circle of friends are getting smaller as time goes by. And to the people who are really there for me as a REAL friend(s), i love you and thank you for being in my circle.

Its has been very stressful for me these past weeks but im glad that i have someone who always there for me, cheer me up and keeps loving me to keep me going. Without him, i would really be devastated and probably depress for very long. I love you so much bbyy love❤️

I'll be on my own..

I've always been an introvert person for the past 23 years of my life.. I just dont know how i ended up being with all these people who i called friends, teammates.. The only people i can rely on are my family and my boyfriend.

I tried to expose myself through dancing and baking.. People have positive compliments like, "wow baik la", "your dance so good", "sedap sey cheesecake ni" , "one day can open business for baking" . They all keeps me motivated to give them what they want as my contents.

But now.. It seems like my time is up for them. Especially at insta.. Their attentions for me just disappeared since currently due to covid-19 and they're "always busy". Most of the time, i was stressed to get their attention of my contents but at the same time... "Why the fuck do i need their attention/comments/compliments for?"

So in the end, I'm gonna be on my own but with one special person and that is my hubby, to pursue our respective careers, dreams, hobbies and live a happy life in silence.

My Future has been set?

Before this, i've always wanted my life to be with my love of my life, my boyfriend. But there are times that it can't last forever.. Don't worry we are still together. We are still going to kiss each other but not having sex. Overall, I still love my boyfriend❤️

Besides my boyfriend, my mind suddenly came up a lot of things that i wanna have which it becomes my dream and I'll be joy to have them.

Imagine having your own house, a child and maybe 1 kitty or 2 or more kitties? Thats what i want hehe

You might be wondering, am i finally have feelings for a girl, get married and start a family? The answer is nope..

The reason is i don't want to break another heart of a person. I've did bad things to my hubby before and he also did before to me but we both felt like our love and communication are the keys to make us more stronger .. Thats why we are currently at our 5 year 7 months Anniversary.🤭

Back to my future plan, i actually wanna have my own home, an adopted child and kitties so my child wont be lonely..

It is a lot of work such as bills, taking care both cats and child and work for an introverted, quiet person like me..

But all i know is, its gonna be a challenge for me and Allah knows whats best for me. I can imagine myself surprise everyone like, "hey guys , i got surprise for you all".. Let's not get excited.

InshaAllah everything will go smoothly in the future❤️

Is it that time of year where my sexuality starts to change?? I dont know..

I start to think of having a child after i watched some youtube videos about a kpop idol turned mother with her husband expecting their 2nd child.

It gets me at this point but am i gonna continue think about it? Im not sure about that but to be honest also, im still in love with my man even though he asked me to find a girl that i can settle down and make a family.. But im still not ready to let go.

Maybe if i can't find the girl that i like, i'll just get an adoption and love that child like my own. I think it'll be better that way, even make my family proud(i hope)

In case you're wondering where i get this crazy idea, i was inspired by this guy named Edison Fan who is a single gay father and he actually "bought" his own child through surrogate named Frederic. He also owned fashion companies and despite he has all this, he still have time to be with his son which what makes feel loved. He became like my role model in the shadows despite having baking and dancing as a career and hobby respectively. So at the end of the day, im still who i am.

Dannie bbyy, if you see this, i just want you to know that I love you so much, i still want you in my life. You're the reason why i keep myself going as a boyfriend.

I guess i needed love..

This was supposed to post last year hahah.. Well here goes:

21/08/19 || So me and my boyfriend were having our early dinner after our cuddling at my home. As we talked and eat at the same time, bbyy was curious about how my parents divorced.

So i told him what i always said but he dig up more in depth or in details. As i told my hubby what i remembered, it broke me down to tears at the same time, in front of him cause i visioned back when i was little. Here's what me and my boyfriend summarise:

Ever since i was kindergarden, i always find my mom whenever i need her because i took her genes more than my dad. I remembered my mom always take care of me like change diapers, cooked delicious food ,etc. However, my dad brainwashed me that he's the one that do the mother's job. Well maybe sometimes he did but mostly is my mom.

He also said that he got cheated by my mom cause of a car she likes and this guy gave her ride home from work which probably a miscommunication that led to a divorce.

This one really hits me.. After the divorce when my mom already packed her stuff, i remembered me and my twin brother literally run to my mom crying but was stopped by my dad.

I was loved so much by my mom but fades after that even though i love my family but that love came back to life again thanks to my love of my life, my boyfriend. Im able to visit my mom whenever im free.

My mom gave me so much love back then, now im giving her that same love and i hope i'll be able to visit her frequently. Also lastly to my boyfriend, thank you so much for showering me with love , the same love that my mom showered me. I love you so much bbyy love.

30/12/19 - I made a surprise visit to him while sleeping after i finished my work and settled my laundry. He said he was so happy to see me , the first thing he opened his eyes.

Hearing that makes me even more happy and loved.

After I cuddled with him till noon , i went to my dance practice but i already miss him after.

Boo boo, thank you for staying with me even though i've made alot mistakes. I love you so much dannie sygg❤️

To my love of my life❤️

I've been wanting to post specially for you hubbyy..

I know we've been going through ups and downs even after our 5th year together. But even though there's hurts and upsets from each other(mostly me😥) , we are still fighting through.

Like what i said before, I love you so much even though you are stubborn, absent-minded person and also an idiot in a good way hehe.. I just dont know how i handled you for the past 5 years

I guess its because I LOVE YOU la hubbyy

Thank you dannie bbyy for never give up on me even though i realised you gave me so many chances that i keep making mistakes without realising.

I hope i can be better boyfriend for you hubbyy.. I sygg you so much boo❤️