I’m just wondering if it’s only me. Since it’s hard for me to brought things up and talk about problem. I just want us to be cool and keep it all by myself. I will simply shut my mouth if I feel like I’m too overwhelm with what I see and mind you there’s a lot of words and scenarios playing in my mind. Scenarios where I’m confronting you with this thing that keep bugging me, but I will still choose to keep in silence and ignore you. Don’t worry, I will answer your questions, but you can feel the lowness in my voice, those uninterested tone of my words coz as I said it’s hard for me to brought things up specially if it is something that will only end up with confrontation. Let’s say I’m used to said things thru messages, I forgot how it really feel to tell it personally because I’m too used to it. Maybe in time, little by little, when I’m comfortable to talk to you regarding those things. You can simply see me crying silently coz I can’t comprehend or explain myself up of what keeps on bothering me. I’m sorry if I jealous too much, let say I’m not like you who used to see things in broader vision. That even a simple act towards opposite sex makes me feel sick already, I feel like you have something for her, you will keep me, but you will set me aside because of her. I don’t know if it’s my anxiety who’s talking, maybe, I used to put people in pedestal that once they didn’t meet the expectation that if they didn’t meet it I will get disappointed and hurt, nevertheless I’m the one who put myself on that situation that I got used to disappointments. That even though they haven’t disappointment me, yet I already play it in my mind. Did you know that I also have this thought that you’ll get tired as well and will leave me eventually once you find someone better? Someone who will understand you better, someone who will treat you better, someone who won’t put up petty quarrel, someone who will push you thru your limits, someone who doesn’t need to tell you what they want because you will go extra mile for that girl. That maybe I’m not that girl, I’m not that girl that you’re willing to exert extra effort, I’m not that girl that you’re not ashamed to introduce to your family. Someone who you’ll be proud of, someone who won’t bug you to always check on her, someone who’s so confident that you’ll stay by her side. I know this is my anxiety who’s talking right now, this is my low self-side, this is my insecurities eating me up alive. I just do hope that you’ll now going to read this.
yousharknotpass
ellievsbear
izzy806
turnnoffyourmind
dededos
andulkaphoto