what are you running from?

i don’t know. (25!)

[eebie]

I just ate one

[eebie]

You can lie when you name things

[tall]

[kosmogrl]

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all

[friendlynoodles]

My Cats Riding the Bus to School, acrylic on paper, 2025.

[inkpressedpetals]

[weltenwellen]

Joy Sullivan, from “Culpable”, Instructions for Traveling West

[streetsiding]

june finds me sitting by the riverside, teary-eyed & trying to count rocks, each smoothed over by cold water. & she doesn't ask me what's wrong but she runs a hand down my back, her yellow heat bleeding into dusk. the skin on my shoulders was peeling just a week ago. i wonder what i look like from the bridge: one body curled up in the reeds, hair soaking up the sun- i wonder if to the fish i'm wearing a halo of summer light. there's no holiness for me here,

baptizing myself in the water alone.

[thespilledquotes]

I must change my life so that I can live it, not wait for it.

— Susan Sontag, Reborn: Journals and Notebooks, 1947-1964

[followsthesparks]

reblog this with your zodiac sign and your college major in the tags it’s for science

[marvellousclea-deactivated20201]

HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE 2004, dir. Miyazaki Hayao

[taoszma-deactivated20180417]

you have to admit there are some joys in life that can only be felt due to hardship. a common example is steaming hot showers. it takes a cold day, or a sickness, for someone to experience the joy of a hot shower. you can’t enjoy it in the heat. then there’s the joy of a fulfilling sleep, often achieved through a tiring day. and there’s the joy of a reunion, achieved through separation. and there are many more examples. sometimes difficulty carries a special range of joys and that’s something to be thankful about.

[weltenwellen]

Heather Havrilesky, How to Be a Person in the World

[viphalo]

i spend a lot of time daydreaming about my other lives

about the me who lives out in the middle of the new england countryside, where i’m quite lonely, but i have a couple goats and cows and chickens that i look after, and i like to make jam and i have an enormous huge crush on my beautiful neighbor who trades me her honey, and i invite her over for tea a little too often to not be super obvious

the me who was born and raised in new york city, who’s sharper and angrier, yet still so kind, with a fire in her eyes and shards in her words, who lives in a awful gross 2 bedroom apartment with 4 other people and loves the people in her life fiercely and is obscene about her art and smokes too much and doesn’t sleep enough, ever, 

the me who went on a backpacking trip through europe after graduation with a desperate need to escape but it was a lot harsher than she thought but she fell in love halfway through france and lives in a tiny city with the love of her life and doesn’t talk to anyone she used to know; she still calls her mother sometimes, but no one knows where she is and she has never felt so free (she is still working on her french)

the me who is on the road to her first oscar, who manages to dodge out of all the gossip rags, who gets to do beautiful work in a city that she hates but she endures and she is not sure if this is what she wanted but it’s what she has so maybe she’ll run with it for now 

the me who lives in a tiny studio somewhere in stockholm, a me who paints and draws her nights away and spends her mornings kneading bread and folding dough for hours and hours and she never wears makeup and the city is both so busy and so quiet and she works as an english tour guide on the weekends at the palace (her swedish is almost perfect, though)

and the me here, with a loud head and a messy kitchen and a giant heart who spends too much time thinking about all the things she is not instead of focusing on the wonder of what she is

[flowerais-deactivated20211031]

“I enjoy controlled loneliness. I like wandering around the city alone. I’m not afraid of coming back to an empty flat and lying down in an empty bed. I’m afraid of having no one to miss, of having no one to love.”

— Kuba Wojewódzki (via wordsnquotes)

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

i love hotels. when i walk through hotel hallways with their quiet walls and flat carpets and the smell of the chlorine from the pool i transcend space and time and find peace.

[inkskinned]

it’s bad when it isn’t your fault. you don’t become a dancer because your body grows in the wrong size (ballerinas don’t have hips, dear), so even though your heart loves it, you shuffle by without it, only doing salsa in the store, taking easy-peasy classes and closing your eyes. 

or you love the idea of math, of simplicity, of a language all can speak. but you sit down and they swim in front of your nose, taunting you. you spend hours hunched over a book reading the same two sentences over and over. walk yourself through kumon videos and wikihow and wolfram alpha. but it comes back with a “D” and you gotta just. know you tried and it didn’t work out, did it. this isn’t something you can manage.

there are worse dreams to lose, of course, than the what-ifs. but then you’re lying there half-drunk and saying “yeah, i loved ice skating but my knees gave out” “i wanted to run a bakery but with what startup money” “after he died it didn’t make sense to go to school anymore”. like you know that you never even had a door, that you only had a window to peek in and see a better land. like, you had a glimpse, and even while looking, you knew - this one wasn’t for you.

there’s worse things to lose, you tell yourself. there’s worse things to lose.

[sseoulful]

Daydreaming about alternative lives to escape my own has become a coping mechanism which I have internalised so much that it happens unconsciously throughout the day. I’ll be always daydreaming in the back of my head no matter what I do