omg you got a bf, congrats!! if you don’t mind telling us, is he older 😛
girl im about to disappoint you:( he is in fact younger than me 😭 but i swear he is the sweetest boy 🩷 but my boss who’s 37 is always being flirty with me like 😭 he’s handsome tho
helloooo! i miss here too😭 i miss editing, i miss writing stories, i miss being joel's 24/7 but besides work, my life has been so busy, i even got a bf like what i never thought someone irl would even like me 😭 but the most important thing, my laptop is too old and slow so i need to buy a new one so i can post again lol
if you cover his face, tommy gunn, a porn star, kinda looks like joel miller and i’ve been gooning to him ILL BE HONEST IM SORRY
i talked about this exact thing with someone, you're totally right my love, i do the same ngl, he's so good at eating pussy, and specially with those videos aghhh gimme that
♡ summary: you get lost in the woods, running for your life, from a bear, or... worse? a big broad man.
୨୧ cw: this is too short maybe, i don't know when, but it turned out dark, reader has cnc thoughts (nothing like that happens, though), joel has a bush, innocent reader, dark!joel, creampie
run as fast as you can.
your lungs burn, you're almost out of breath, but it doesn't stop you. even if you're slipping over the roots and wet leaves. you’re not even sure how you ended up here. you were taking a walk far from the farm, digging a little in the woods, until you hear a noise, unusual, and you were convinced something big was behind you. not a deer, but it was too much to be nothing. a bear, maybe.
you don’t stop. you don’t look back, your fear is stronger than anything. but your luck is running out. your boot slips, making you fall over a little hill. you try to claw to the dirt, but it hurts too much, enough to scream.
and then, you finally stop. laying down, it hurts too much. but you finally lost the bear. or not? your hear something scarier.
thud. thud.
you got goosebumps once you hear a groan and the sound of the axe on the wood. when you push yourself up, heart in your throat, you see him.
a man, standing just a few meters from you. flannel stretched over his shoulders. tall, broad, big, beard.
you gasp and scramble backward. an animal would have been easier. without thinking, you get up and run again.
"hey, wait!" he yells.
he doesn’t hesitate and follows you. big steps, he doesn't have to run, he's eating the distance as he tries to understand why you’re running, why you look so terrified. the girl breathless on the floor, looking so small, helpless, and... afraid.
you can hear him behind you, you know he ain't an animal, you know he is worse than a bear, maybe. you've seen it in movies.
you barely look back, to see how far you are from him, but once you looked right back to the front, everything went black.
by the time he reached you out, you were laying still on the ground, all dirty and unconscious. he didn't mean to scare you... he wouldn't, would he? he just took you in his big arms, wrapping you just to make sure you were still alive, and when he realized you were, he held you all the way to his house.
hours passed.
you finally woke up, dazed. everything hurts, but most of all, your head. you look down, bloody knees, scrapped hands, ripped socks. your legs ache. when you look down, you see them, bruises blooming dark and purple along your calves and thighs, dirt still caught under your nails. proof that whatever happened was real.
but then you realized, where the fuck are you? this is not home, this is nowhere you remember being in.
and then you got your answer in front of you. coming out the bathroom. the man. he steps out, and you cover yourself with a coushion, instictevily.
"you woke up," he said like nothing happened. you didn't answer. "you hurt yourself real bad, huh?" still no answer, just your whole body shaking out of fear. he is giant, his chest is hairy, as much as a bear. "you okay?"
you shake your head. "i put ya some leaves on your knees, they help with the pain," he moved his hand to the back of his neck. "uh, sorry for lookin' like this, but uh... i needed a shower. didn't think you'd wake up just now. it's been hours."
and it's true, the outside has become darker, still daylight but not quite. you got goosebumps just by looking at the window, knowing you're all alone with a stranger, with he did god-knows-what, what you were uncounscious.
"want some water?" you shook your head. "you should. must be all thristy after running like a crazy in the woods. what happened?" you blinked. "can't you talk?"
you gulped. "y-yes."
"then talk. what happened?"
you hold hard to the coushion. "i thought i heard a bear, and i... just ran," you looked down. "but it was worse than a bear."
he laughed. "that was tough," he hissed. "considering we've been alone for hours and i did nothing to that little thing between your legs."
you squeezed your thighs. a man alone in the woods, surviving on his own, probably killing wild animals, "i-i need to leave."
"go ahead, i ain't stoppin' ya," he raised both hands. his big, calloused hands. god. and you can not ignore how much you like his broad shoulders, his arms, the way he cut that piece of wood like it was nothing earlier.
how bad would it be if those hands touched you while your mind was somewhere else? how would it feel those fingers exploring your folds, playing with your nub? what if he made you come in your sleep? while if the pain in your legs is not because of the running but because he was using you while you were not here?
leave it. no. that's why you were running in the first place. running away from home, because of these... thoughts. because you feel wrong about them. because you feel like you shouldn't but, god... you can't help them. and you've come to the right place for them.
"what are ya thinking, pretty girl?" he drawls. "i ain't gonna hurt ya, y'can leave."
you nodded once and looked up to him. "can i?"
he nodded. "'course. i ain't a creep," he shrugged. "but if you allow me to, i think i should put something on those knees. look real bad."
you held your breath for a second and nodded. and so he did. still with the towel wrapped around his hips, he went to the kitchen looking for something and came back to you. kneeling. he was careful, he might have calloused fingers but surely felt good while rubbing your skin.
"uh... are you..." you drawled. "sure you did not touch me?"
he scoffed and stopped his hand for a second. "no, i didn't," he said and looked up to you.
“not even a peek?” you asked innocently.
he laughed. “yeah, maybe i got a glimpse of those tiny panties you’re wearing.”
your cheeks were burning, your gaze was dark. he ain't no fool, that's not out of fear. "would've you liked if i touched you?" you closed your eyes. "like this?"
and so he dragged his hand up, to your thighs. you parted them by instinct. he almost laughed until he noticed how eager you were for that. oh, so you’d like it. his touch was firm when he got to your softness.
“oh,” you gasped. “wait-“
“no,” he groaned. “should’ve known earlier. would’ve taken care of this pretty little pussy as soon as i saw you knocked on the ground.”
you bite your lip and part even more your legs. his fingers only find their way to rip the cotton fabric of your panties. it didn’t even let you say anything before he had his fingers inside. pure pleasure.
it didn’t take long for his free hand to undo the knot of his towel, free his cock and touch himself too. one hand masturbating you and the other one masturbating himself.
you loved it. but you wanted more. and he gave that to you. as soon as the words “fuck me, please,” left your mouth, that man was hauling you as a bear.
yeah, as a fucking bear. groaning, thrusting hard. your nails clawing at his back. joel doesn’t see women at all, so he is in heaven. lonely man in the woods finds a helpless girl, yeah. he’s not letting you go that easy now.
you don’t even know his name, but his dick is now inside you. raw and deep. on his couch. on a stranger’s coach.
joel grunted in your ear. “got lucky, huh,” he rasped against the shell of your ear. “got a little slut all f’me now.”
you moaned softly when you felt him throbbing inside you. “use me,” you begged. “as you want.”
and he will. he can’t help it anymore, he comes. no warning. you just feel something warm, filling every single corner of your insides.
“holy shit.”
✿₊˚⊹🪵⋆𐙚₊˚ 🪓 ⊹♡
i know it was reaaally short, but i’ve been so busy lately 😭 i’ll make time to write more often i promise 🩷
Hi love, hope all is well and you’re doing alright <3
hiii, thank u so so much for reaching out ♡ i'm doing alright, actually. my life has changed a lot and that's why i've been a little inactive these months, god. i started a new job and i got out of my comfort zone, a lot, i'd say😭 i've met new people, i've had so much fun, i've met new guys, and for my surprise, around my age😭😭. it's been good being out of here for a little while, i think i needed it :)♡ but there's not a day that i don't think about joel, about this, about fics. it's so hard wanting both things but not having time:(, i'll post soon tho!!♡ thank u so much for asking
♡ summary: is it really casual?
୨୧ cw: jealous!joel, sex, joel ties reader with a shirt, edging (not sure but just in case), slapping during sex, creampie
it was never serious and you both knew it.
joel fucked you like no one else did. he was old, and maybe that's why he knows what he's doing, maybe that's why he knows how to treat you right in bed, wether it's rough, soft, or in between. he knows how to make you come every single time.
but even so, you both kept it casual.
it was casual because because joel thinks he's too old for you, because you were young and pretty and sweet, and even though he knew how much of an expert you are when it comes to sex, he feels you deserve someone your age. not to mention his failed marriage, he can't allow himself to catch feelings for someone else.
it was casual because that was safer for him, safer for you.
it was casual, but you kissed like you were saving each other's lives. it was casual, but there were shirts of yours folded in his dresser and a pair of your socks hidden somewhere in his truck. it was casual, but he made you breakfast when you stayed the night, and you'd heal him when he came home hurt from work. it was casual, but you sometimes packed him lunch before a long shift, and he sometimes fixed things around your apartment without you even asking. it was casual, but he never let you call someone else for help, he always wanted to be the one to take care of it.
like today.
you had a hole in your wall that needed to be fixed and he offered immediately and brought you with him to buy the supplies for it.
you watched him crouch in the aisle, big hands turning over boxes of things you didn't even know, you just held the little paper list he wrote before coming.
"this one’ll work," he said, throwing the box into the cart. "you good with white patch paint? matches the wall better."
"joel, i don’t even know what patch paint is," you said laughing.
"guess you’re learnin’ today, then."
it was always like this, casual, but not. casual, but you were here. casual, but his shirt smelled like your detergent because you'd done his laundry last week.
he caught you staring at his arms and hands. "what?"
you shrugged, suddenly shy. "nothing. just… thanks, for doing this."
"ain’t no trouble. ‘s better if i do it myself anyway. don’t want you callin' some idiot who's gonna overcharge you."
you laughed. "overcharge me?"
"some men can be real idiots," he shrugged.
"and you're not gonna overcharge me?"
he chuckled. "i wouldn't," he glanced at you up and down. "you'll find a good way to pay me."
you rolled your eyes and pushed him with your shoulder, he laughed too. he went directly to the register and paid, ignoring your hand when you tried to grab your wallet.
"joel, i could've—"
"and you will," he said with a smirk.
you narrowed your eyes. "you came back from work impatient, huh?"
joel just shrugged. "it's been a while."
you scoffed, following him out of the store. "you’re so dramatic."
"shut up," he said with a small smile, tossing everything in the back of his truck.
on the way to your apartment, he let you pick the cd, he always does because he likes hearing you sing. joel tried not to smile too much, but when you nudged his arm and told him to sing with you, he actually did.
you reached over and opened the glovebox, but instead found a familiar top crumpled inside.
"oh my god," you laughed, holding it up. "i was looking for this!"
joel glanced and smile to it. "you put it there in a hurry, remember?"
you bit your lip and laughed harder, your cheeks blushing. "that was a good night."
"yeah," he said remembering like it was yesterday.
when you got to the building, he held everything to the elevator, even though you’d offered to help more than once.
"joel, i can carry one," you said trying to reach a box.
"nah," he shook his head, shifting the boxes in his arms. "i got it."
the elevator stopped on the second floor and a guy stepped in, smiling as soon as he saw you.
"hey," he said.
"hey," you said back, smiling.
"how are you doin'?" he said, leaning against the wall.
"been busy," you laughed softly.
the two kept talking, and then he said, "that dress looks really nice on you, by the way."
you felt your cheeks burn. "thanks," you said.
joel didn’t say anything, just stared to the door, until the elevator stopped at your floor. you went straight to unlock your door, letting him in first.
"here," you pointed toward the wall. "that’s the hole."
"mm," joel grunted, crouching down to see how it was.
he started working on it while you disappeared to the kitchen and grab some water. when you cam back, you just leaned on the doorframe, staring at him and maybe he felt it cause he looked at you over his shoulder.
"i’ve got wine," you said softly. "we could have a glass later?"
he just nodded, still working.
"are you working tomorrow?" you asked. "so i know what to make you for lunch."
"you don’t have to do that," he said without looking up.
"it’s not a problem."
"no, thanks."
you nodded, just watching him work, how serious he was.
"why do you look so mad when you work?" you asked, tilting your head.
joel’s face softened. "just focusin', is all."
you grinned. "you look so strong, though," you said, reaching out to squeeze his bicep.
he scoffed, shaking his head.
"i’m gonna make dinner," you said, heading back to the kitchen.
"alright," joel murmured, still working.
you cooked something simple, and once it was ready you went back to him. joel was still crouched by the wall, but almost done, wiping sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand.
"food's ready," you said softly.
"wall’s almost done too," he muttered.
you stepped closer, watching the way he worked, the way his veins showed even more, the way his big calloused hands held the materials, making them look small. there was something about seeing him like this, so manly and strong, that made your stomach flutter.
"done," he finally said, standing up and wiping his hands on his jeans.
"thank you," you said, sincerely.
"no problem, angel," joel said.
you both went to the table, sitting down to eat. joel looked tired, still sweaty, and very hungry overall, he finished his plate fast enough that you found yourself asking, "want some more?"
he just nodded, so you got up and served him another portion, then sat back down and just watched him eat, chin resting on your hand.
when he finally finished, you took both plates to the sink and started rinsing them. behind you, joel cleared his throat.
"food was good," he said.
you smiled over your shoulder. "so we’re even now, right?"
he rolled his eyes, and came closer, his hips brushing yours. "no, not yet," he said pressing his hips on yours, making you squirm. "should i serve the wine?"
you leaned your head on his shoulder. "yes, please."
and when you finished the dishes, you went with him to the living room, to sit on the couch and have a glass of wine. you kicked off your shoes and put your legs over his lap.
you talked about how hard he's been working these days, how tired he comes home, how long his shifts are. and then he started fidgeting your toes mid-talk, not even realizing what he was doing, until it tickled you and you couldn't help to giggle.
"what?" he asked.
you nodded at your feet. "you're tickling me."
he chuckled and looked down to them, holding one to his lips. "you're drunk, aren't you?" you asked, still laughing but letting him kiss your calves too.
"not at all," he answered.
you leaned forward, cupping his face. "you're all sweaty," you said chuckling.
he hummed. "we should take a shower," he shrugged.
"we? i ain't sweaty," you teased, lips brushing his ear.
"no, but..." he said wrapping your waist, pulling you closer.
"yeah?" you asked almost giggling for how needy he was, and the worse part, he couldn't even hide it.
"i like fucking in the shower," he admitted, cold.
your cheeks burned and you couldn't help to laugh at it, because he's not lying tho. joel loves fucking you in the shower, pinning you against the wall, letting the steam cover your bodies. sometimes he likes rubbing the shampoo on your scalp, too.
"and i thought you were here because you wanted to help me with the wall," you said.
"well, that too," he shrugged. "to see your pretty face, too."
you grinned, staring at his lips, dry and probably raspy, somethig only you could fix. "that so?" he nodded, staring back.
one thing led to another and your lips found his, slow at first, your hand resting on his chest, then climbing to his neck, tangling your fingers on his hair, gently pulling. instead, his hands were on your hips, pulling you closer.
"god, miller," you said, breathless.
but he wasn't hearing any of it, he pulled you by the cheek again. you nibbled on his lip just a little, enough to make him squirm and shifting you on his lap. a lazy, long movement.
he wasn't satisfied with that, no. he slipped his hands under your dress as he kissed you, until he found the fabric of your panties. he knew it right away and it sent shivers to the tip of his cock.
"i like these," he rasped against your lips, trying to lift the hem of your dress to see you better, but you only giggled, turning around slightly, enough to let him see, just a sneak peek of what he's gonna have later.
he stiffened. "you always wear these, huh," he said pulling the waistband of the tiny.
"nope, just cause i knew i'd see you today," you shrugged.
his gaze darkened. "these are for me?" you chuckled and shook your head, suddenly shy. "tell me."
you peeked up at him and pressed your lips on his. "maybe," you brushed your thumbs on his beard. "cause i know you like 'em, and..." you drawled, looking at his lips and eyes on a sway. "you really need a woman who doesn't bore you the way she did."
that got him a laugh. maybe you're the only person he'd allow to talk about his marriage, about his past. "you're brave."
you scoffed, dragging your finger on his chest. "you don’t need some boring woman," you murmured, tilting your head as your lips almost brushed his, "old, bitter, always bringing you problems."
"yeah?" he asked, lazy gaze and raspy voice.
you nodded. "not to talk about using those blue pills," you finally said, brushing your lips on his. "you don't use them with me."
he gripped your hips under the dress before you met his lips. you both were hungry for each other, the rythm of your tongues, the way the living room filled with nothing but the noise of your lips and drool colliding.
he bit your lip just a little, but enough for you to pull away to chuckle and then you pushed his tummy with your hand, but he flinched. "did i hurt you?"
he shook his head. "it's just... i got a scrape from work."
you frowned and kneeled on the couch, trying to lean so you could lift his shirt, but he grabbed your hand. "it's fine, come here," he said trying to hold your face again.
"joel, let me see, please?"
after a long seconds of just staring at each other, he sighed and let you lift his shirt, revealing his bare tummy and his scrap, almost bleeding, swollen and really bad. you gasped and before he could say something, you stood up to get the first aid-kit.
you came back with the first-aid kit and kneeled back on the couch. you cleaned the scrape carefully, he hissed a bit, of course it still hurt. "joel, stay still," you murmured.
"you didn’t have to do all this," he muttered.
"yes, i did," you said still looking at his wound. "if i don’t, you’re only going to hurt yourself more."
"it wasn’t that bad," he grumbled.
you shook your head. "joel, do you have more cuts like this?"
he exhaled, and shook his head.
"good," you said, finally lifting your eyes to his.
"now calm down, nurse," he joked, grinning.
you rolled your eyes and closed the kit, setting it on the table. "do you want another glass of wine?"
he shook his head.
you sighed and sat back down beside him, brushing your hands on your thighs.
"thank you," he said quietly, "for… helping with this."
you tilted your head and smiled. "well, you’ve got your own personal nurse, don’t you?"
"a little bossy, though," he said chuckling. you glared at him, so he started mocking you. "joel don't do that, joel stay still, joel—"
"fuck off, then," you said laughing, pushing him by the shoulder.
he caught your hands. "but sure as hell, the sexiest nurse i've met," he said pulling you down with him again, but you were fighting him, faking being upset. "oh, c'mere."
he held you by your hips, settling you on his lap again. you were still trying to stand up, but his hands only got tighter, stronger on your hips, not to talk about the fact that you were bouncing on his lap all the time, and he wasn't made of stone. he kept swaying you on purpose, and you weren't dumb either.
"god, miller," you said breathless. "you missed me that much, huh?"
he nodded, bucking his hips on you, letting you feel how hard he was getting. "i've been working my ass all week."
you grinned and straddled him, swaying your hips too, holding his face between your hands. "and you need your sex toy?" you said looking straight to his eyes. "you need someone to take care of your cock? someone who actually knows how to make you feel good."
he hissed, crearly aroused. he met your lips once, twice, until you were bucking your hips harder, feeling him on your slit, making him groan.
you bit his lip and slipped your hand to his thighs, searching for his bulge, until you grabbed it and stroke it over his clothes. "guess we don't need those blue pills," you unbuttoned his jeans. "she must've been real boring."
he hissed, nodding like a fool when your hand found his dick over the soft fabric of his boxers. "careful," he hissed.
"or what?" you teased, squeezing his dick.
he stiffened, like he was fighting with himself, until you bit his neck just enough to make him groan. that broke him, he grabbed your waist, hauling you up against his chest.
"joel—" you squeaked, but he was already standing, never letting you go, just tightening his grip on your thighs.
"shut up," he muttered as he carried you to your bedroom, "or i’ll make sure you can’t talk at all."
you clung to him, heart racing, until he kicked your bedroom door open and laid you down on the bed.
he wasted no time taking off his shirt, until his eyes landed on something on the floor, a shirt that definitely wasn’t his. he bent to pick it up, holding it up between two fingers.
"what’s this?" he asked.
you laughed softly. "it’s a shirt."
"whose?" he asked.
you grinned. "what’s that supposed to mean?"
joel just looked at you. "it that kid from the elevator?" you just laughed. "you been seeing that kid?"
you rolled your eyes, settling back against the pillows. "he came by the other day, forgot his shirt. that’s all."
joel leaned over you, with the shirt still on his fist. "block him."
you burst out laughing, covering your mouth with your hand. "you’re not serious."
his face didn’t change. "i’m not jokin’. block him."
you tilted your head. "joel… are you jealous?"
he braced a hand by your head, his chest almost brushing yours. "maybe i am. so what? block him."
you bit your lip, cupping his face. "you're the first one always reminding me my place with you. now you want me to block someone, again?"
he took your hands off his face gently, kissing your knuckles before pinning them on the pillow, tying your wrists with the guy's shirt. not the first time he does this.
your breathing got heavy, now that you're all vulnerable beneath him. all to his will. he took your dress off too, leaving you on underwear, if you can call it like that. his gaze darkened, knowing you wore this cause you were gonna see him today, because you knew you were gonna end up like this. because you wore the thong for him.
he leaned down to bite the slope of your breasts, sucking your skin, enough to leave marks. not to talk about the way he nibbled on your nipples, leaving them puffy and sensitive as his hand slipped between your thighs, toying the thong, playing on your slit.
you tried to move your hands but his knot was too tight. "god, joel, you're—" you whined. "wait."
he shook his head, forcing his fingers to rip the tiny fabric of your thong. "you drive me crazy," he groaned.
you bit your lip and let him do what he wanted with you.
and he did. after using his fingers enough on your pussy, leaving you all swollen, aching, needing, he shifted over you, freeing his dick, teasing your slit, mesmerized by the size difference between you both.
"joel, please," you begged.
he looked at you, "tell me you're gonna block him."
"we've done this before," you said squirming.
his tip twitched at your entrance. "then do as i say," he said. "block him."
you nodded. "i will, joel, i'll block him."
he slipped inisde you with no warning, thrusting hard all at once, making you moan like no one else did. no man can touch you like him, no man can make you get this wet for him, and most importantly, no man can make you come like joel.
he knows the power he got over you, he knows what you like and how you like it. and he was giving you that. you don't like it gentle, and truth to be told, he didn't either. it was raw and rough, the way he was using his little sex toy, the way he was making you almost scream his name, over and over, asking for more.
he moaned, too. "you're gonna ruin me."
you smiled, breasts bouncing up and down as he thrusted. he gripped your jaw between his fingers and then slapped you, not harsh, but enough to leave a red mark on your cheek. "no more guys, okay?"
you chuckled, hair sticking to your cheeks by the sweat. "joel, i—" you whimpered. "i need to come."
he stopped thrusting. "no more guys."
you hummed, complaining. "joel, please."
he slapped you again, and grabbed your jaw immediately. "say it."
"no more guys," you repeated, breathless.
"good girl," he said patting your cheek this time, thrusting.
he almost never comes inside, cause he says it's too risky even if you're safe. but hell, this time, he couldn't help himself, he needed to mark his property, he needed to make sure you understood you belongned to him even if anything was clear between you. so he painted the walls of your cunt white with his cum.
you bit your lip, twirling your wrists, trying to move but failing. "i hope you don't forget who you belong to, sweetheart," he said slipping out.
♡ summary: everyone in jackson makes you feel like a stray dog, so you're ready to leave, but joel wouldn't let you. as much as he knows the problem you are.
୨୧ cw: angst, mean!joel, hate sex, implied assault (not from joel), dark!joel at the end
୨୧ wc: 4.3k
you sat in the back of the truck, just watching the trees and the empty road, knees pulled up on the seat, and chin resting on them.
"this is boring," you groaned, loud enough for them to hear.
joel glanced at you in the mirror. "you’re the one who chose to do this deliver with us."
"yeah, well," you sighed, "it was either this or patrol."
that made tommy laugh and shake his head. "you always get the easiest routes anyway, don't even complain."
"it's not my fault," you said, "i just don’t like my patrol partners most of the times."
joel’s eyes found yours again through the mirror. "someone botherin’ you?"
you shrugged, suddenly shy. "kinda. jake’s… touchy. makes me uncomfortable."
joel’s jaw tightened and his brows furrowed. "why the hell didn’t you tell me that before?"
"because you’re always mad at me," you said, leaning back against the side of the truck with a little shrug. "figured it was better not to annoy you even more."
joel looked over his shoulder at you. "quit that nonsense. that’s serious."
the truck got real quiet after that. tommy shot you a quick look, a half-smile like he was trying to lighten the mood, maybe give you some comfort, but joel’s eyes stayed fixed on the road, his knuckles tight on the wheel, like he was upset, and maybe he was. but that's not weird of him anyways, he's always mad to you.
you took a deep breath. "it doesn’t matter anyway," you mumbled, then you turned around on the seat to look for something in the back.
"what’re you doin’ back there?" tommy asked, glancing over his shoulder.
"it’s hot," you said, already tugging at your jacket. "i wanna change."
you took your flannel off, staying in your bra for a moment. you caught joel looking this time, just for a second before he dragged his gaze back to the road.
"you want us to stop?" tommy asked.
you slid the top in. "why? am i distractin’ you?"
"maybe," tommy said low.
you huffed. "careful," you warned. "you're gonna get me in more trouble with your wife."
tommy chuckled. "i was joking."
"sure," you said with a remarkable sarcasm.
joel sighed, shaking his head. "can’t even be nice to you, huh?"
that made you laugh, lying on the seat, getting your calves out the window, letting the wind hit you, swinging your boots to the feeling.
a while later tommy asked joel to pull over. joel parked the truck near an old abandoned building and tommy hopped out, disappearing behind it.
joel stayed in the truck, asked if you needed to go too, but you shook your head, then he followed. "we gotta talk."
you groaned, already rolling your eyes. "it’s nothing, joel. i wasn’t even thinkin’ when i said it. i know i can’t get in trouble again or they’ll kick me out, okay?" you sighed.
joel rolled his eyes right back at you. "this ain’t about your damn record. i asked if that kid’s been botherin’ you."
you just shrugged, toying a loose thread on your shorts.
"use your words," joel said, not so gentle, so you looked at him.
"no," you muttered, crossing your arms. "i already know the rules—i can’t get in trouble, i can’t—"
"quit that nonsense," joel cut you off. "what’s he been doin’?"
you shifted, avoiding his gaze. "he’s just… touchy. in parts where i don't want him to. it’s uncomfortable."
joel’s jaw tightened, his knuckles going white on the wheel. "you gotta say that to me in the moment. nobody’s gonna throw you out for that. and even if they try," he exhaled hard through his nose, "i wouldn't let it happen."
can it be? that joel miller is protecting you? that he's being sweet with you? that he actually cares about you? no, you don't believe it. you've done nothing but giving him trouble since the very first day you arrived jackson and he's been clear about how much of a pain in the ass you are.
you laughed. "since when are you so protective with me?"
"you’re goddamn stupid, that’s why," he said.
"see?" you rolled your eyes. "always mean, always mad at me."
"i just think these are the things you need to say, before it gets worse. what if this kid just do something while you both are alone and leave you to the infected, huh? can you use your little brain and tell me those things before something else happens?"
you frowned, he does have a point but he's being an asshole about it. "cause i think you'd rather join him before helping me."
"if i was as mad as you think, you wouldn’t still be in jackson," he said serious. "you think i don’t know who’s been takin’ bottles from the bar? or that you’re the one stealin’ the bits of coffee we get’? or what about the food missin’ from the pantry, the med kits from the clinic, hell, even my damn wrench went missin’ last week. you think nobody notices?"
you knitted your brows.
"yeah," he said, nodding slow. "and every time somebody wants to make a case out of it, guess who’s there takin’ the shit so you don't have to?"
you felt your cheeks burn and your throat tight by a lump. "that's all you do, causin' trouble all the fuckin' time. so the least you could do is tell me what the fuck is going on with you."
you swallowed despite of the lump in your throat. "i didn't know i was such a trouble, joel."
"the hell you are," he said abruptally, making you blink but you wouldn't let him, of all people, see you weak.
"then stop doin' it," you snapped, looking directly to his eyes.
"so what? do i have to let that kid do whatever he wants to you?" you didn't answer so he frowned. "yeah, i'll probably will."
you felt your eyes wet but still fought so the tears wouldn't spill. "fine," you said softly, turning around so he couldn't see you.
the truck went quiet just as tommy came back around, wiping his hands on his jeans. he could feel something changed, nothing good, but he didn't ask.
the rest of the drive was silent. and for your bad luck, you wouldn't make it today, so joel had to stop to find somewhere to set the camp.
"'kay, here," joel said getting out the truck.
you didn’t move.
they set their tents, and a little after tommy saw you just sitting there. "you want me to help you with your tent?"
you shook your head. "i’ll sleep in the truck, if that's okay," you weren't even facing him, not even looking at him.
he studied you for a moment, then nodded without arguing. "it's alright."
by the time they even set the fire to warm up the food, you dug through your bag and pulled out the little pouch of seeds you’d brought, eating them one by one.
after a while tommy came over with a plate. "food’s ready."
"i’m not hungry," you murmured. "but thanks."
"can’t waste it," tommy said gently, holding the plate out a little more.
"you can have it," you tried to smile but it didn't reach your eyes.
"all right," he said softly, walking back to the fire.
a few minutes later joel appeared at the truck, leaning one arm against the side. "you need to eat somethin’."
you turned your back to him, staring out the other window and saying nothing.
"hey," he tried again, his voice lower.
nothing.
joel stepped closer. "you gotta eat," he said.
"i said i’m not hungry," you said without looking at him.
"yeah, you are. all you ate today were those damn seeds, and that ain’t a meal."
you huffed, finally facing him. "i don’t wanna bother you, joel. and don’t think i stole those seeds either, i worked for them."
he wanted to laugh. "you’re so damn resentful."
"i am not," you snapped, sitting up now. "you just already see me like a thief."
"and what would you call it?" he asked.
"then don’t worry about it anymore," you said. "if i’m a thief, then i’ll just stay out of your way so i don’t cause you any more trouble."
joel rolled his eyes, running a hand down his face. "i don’t give a damn if you take things," he said finally, his voice softer. "i just want you to eat."
you shook your head stubbornly.
he exhaled, but respected your decision and headed back to the fire.
hours passed before you moved again. the fire was still up but lower than before, and you knew the brothers were asleep by now.
you’d made up your mind. if they all already thought you were jackson’s problem, maybe it was better to go before they finally threw you out. before you annoyed joel any more.
you didn’t have much, just a change of clothes, the last of your seeds, and a couple of small things, but you’d always gotten by on your own. you didn’t need anybody now.
you made your way out from the truck. you didn’t even look back at them as you started walking away. it was for the better anyways, maria already hated you, tommy does too probably, and not to talk about his brother, joel made very clear you're nothing but a problem. so there's no point sticking around.
you’d walked enough to get lost in the trees when your boot crunched down on a branch.
joel woke up to the sound. he sat up fast, scanning the dark for movement, hand already on his gun.
then he saw the small figure heading away from camp.
"what the hell—" he muttered, standing up.
you heard him then, looked back and your heart dropped. you ran as fast as you could.
"hey!" his voice was closer than you’d expected.
you ran faster, but it didn’t take him long to catch you, his hand wrapping your waist, the movement making you both fall to the ground.
"let me go!" you yelled.
he pinned your wrists on the sides of your shoulders. "what the hell are you doin’? where the hell you think you’re goin’?"
"it’s not your problem!" you shot back.
"you’re so stupid, i hope you know that," he said. "don't tell me you're that weak, that what i said earlier was enough to hurt you."
you laughed bitterly. "you think this is about you? don’t flatter yourself, joel. you’re not that important."
his brow furrowed. "then what is it?"
"none of your business," you said.
"it is my business," he snapped. "i’m the one who’s gonna have to report it when you don’t show back up."
you frowned. "i don’t care." you tried to pull away again, but he didn't let you, even pinning your legs with his.
"you’re a spoiled little brat," he said, voice rising enough to make you flinch. "a thief who’s always causin’ trouble, and draggin’ me down with you."
"fine!" you shouted. "then i won’t cause you any trouble, let me go."
"no," joel said flatly. "you don’t get to just run off that easy."
"i’d rather leave than go back to that damn town!"
"yeah?" he drawled. "and where you gonna go, huh? how long you think you’ll last before some infected tears you apart? or some raider does worse?"
"i’ve always survived on my own," you hissed. "i don’t need anybody, least of all some old man like you."
"that old man’s saved your ass more times than you can count."
"then let me go so you don’t have to save it again!"
he looked at you then, really looked, messy hair, angry tears on your face, chest raising and falling with rage, he knew it. something about it almost made him smile.
instead, he shook his head. "here’s what’s gonna happen," he said, calm but firm. "you’re comin’ back with me. you’re sleepin’ in the damn tent. and in the mornin’, we’re gonna talk about this."
"there’s nothing to talk about," you bit your cheek from the inside. "and i really wanna go, it's my decision."
"yeah, there is. you’re not patrollin’ with jake again. and you sure as hell ain’t gonna be scared of gettin’ thrown out of the town, not anymore."
before you could open your mouth to answer, joel grabbed you as he could and threw you over his shoulder, like a ragdoll.
"put me down!" you hissed, kicking at him, fists hitting his back, but he didn’t stop, like he was walking in automatic.
"no," he grunted, carrying you all the way back to camp, your curses and protests was the only thing he could hear. but he’d rather hear you mad at him than not hear you at all.
he finally made it to his tent. he set you down, blocking the exit with his body when you tried to push past him.
"please, just let me go," you said.
joel shook his head. "you’re stayin’ right here. i’ll sit up all damn night if i have to."
you groaned and sat, pulling your knees to your chest. "you’re selfish," you muttered, hugging your knees.
joel didn’t answer right away, just let out a long breath before crouching in front of you, searching your gaze. "i’m sorry," he said softly. "for bein’ an asshole earlier. i shouldn’t’ve talked to you like that, about somethin’ like that. but i need you to believe me when i tell you i ain’t ever gonna let jake lay a hand on you."
you didn't answer right away, cause you know he's all mean but he's saying the truth. he wouldn't let jake, or any man even lay a hand on you.
you understand why he's mean to you, you know you've been nothing but trouble since day one, so it isn't strange that he's like this. and maybe he also deserves an explanation about some things.
you stayed silent for a few seconds before saying, "it’s not me takin’ from the bar. it’s jake."
joel blinked, his frown deepening, confused. he didn't have any proof of you stealing from the bar, but since you're the only one at jackson doing that, he guessed.
"i know i’ve got a record," you kept going, "so it don’t surprise me they blame it on me. but it ain’t me."
you hesitated, chewing your lip before adding, "the food, though... that’s me. i like makin’ snacks for the kids i watch at the daycare on the weekends. i know it’s stealin’, but," you shrugged, "it’s for them."
joel’s expression softened. a lot.
"and the coffee?" he asked.
your lips formed a guilty tiny smile. "that’s ‘cause i know it’s yours. you always got some at your place and i like coffee." you couldn't face him.
joel chuckled, shaking his head. "you can ask me anytime you want, y’know."
"never thought about it," you admitted, looking away.
"well, now you will," he said. "you can have some whenever you feel like it." he paused, thinking for a moment before adding, "and about the kids... they can put you in charge of cookin’ for ‘em, if that’s what you like doin’. make it official, yeah?"
you glanced at him from under your lashes, and for the first time tonight, you didn’t feel so a knot in your stomach.
"and if jake’s the one stealin’ from the bar..." joel’s jaw tightened again, but this time it wasn’t at you. "then i’m takin’ care of it. he ain’t gonna keep causin’ trouble and blamin’ you."
"yeah... don't," you sighed. "i think it's better if i leave anyway," before he could say anything, you followed. "not sayin' it to gain sympathy, it's just," you sighed, "everybody already thinks i’m trouble, jackson’s stray dog they gotta keep on a leash."
"you’re not patrollin’ with jake again. you’re gonna have coffee whenever you want, work with the kids if you want to, and you sure as hell ain’t gonna be scared of gettin’ thrown out."
you rolled your eyes. "it’s not like i’m that important, joel. maria hates me anyway, and i don't blame her, or tommy... or you. can’t blame y'all, though. i’ve been a pain in the ass since the day i got there—"
you didn’t get to finish. joel’s hand cupped your jaw, tilting your face up to him before you could look away, and then his mouth was on yours. it wasn’t soft, it was urgent, like he was trying to shut you up and make a point all at once.
your hands fisted in his shirt instinctively cause you wanted to pull away but at the same time, you wanted him to keep going, you knew he didn't like you and maybe that's what you like about him, maybe you do want him to share his coffee, maybe you did wanted the kiss.
you pulled back for air and the tent filled with an awkward silence. you couldn't avoid his gaze anymore, you couldn't not aknowlodge what just happened.
"don't leave," he said, still with both hands on your cheeks.
you pressed your lips. "i just feel like a stray dog in jackson," you said, voice shaking.
he sighed. "maybe if you stopped actin’ like one, people wouldn’t treat you that way."
your stomach dropped. you pushed his hands off your face. "wow. thanks, joel. really makes me wanna stay now."
"i didn’t mean it like that," he said quickly, but you were already trying to reach your bag.
"yes, you did," you snapped. "but i don't care."
"that’s not true." his voice sounded like he was fighting to stay calm.
"then what did you mean, huh?"
"i meant, if you were just a little more... calm. a little more easy to be around."
your brows knitted together.
"you’re always... ready for a fight. you act like the whole damn world’s against you."
"at least we got somethin’ in common," you shot back.
"you’re a young girl with the soul of a bitter old woman," he snapped. "always walkin’ around like you’re two steps away from bein’ homeless again."
the words hit like a slap. "so why do you want me to stay, then? you stupid or somethin’?"
"because—" he started, shoving a hand through his hair. "dammit, you drive me insane."
"good," you said. "hate me then."
"i wish i did."
and then his hands were on you again, gripping your jaw, his mouth crashing against yours.
you kissed him back, though your eyes were filled with angry tears. "you’re such an idiot," you mumbled against his lips before pulling him back down to you.
"yeah?" he said between kisses. "takes one to know one."
your fingers curled into his hair, tugging hard, almost punishing, and he groaned, not cause it hurt, cause it didn't, but because he knows you're as weak as he is.
his hands though, came to your hips, trying to lean you down the ground, but you didn't let him.
"no," you said. "first you hurt me and now you want sex? are you out of your mind?"
joel froze for a second. "yeah," he said, "that’s exactly what i want, to hurt you just so i can use you right after."
"yeah, sounds like something you'd do."
"you are the most stubborn, hard-headed girl i ever met," he said, shaking his head. "but you’re also the sweetest. behind all that angry, tough appereance, you’re... soft and kind."
"yeah, right," you scoffed. "you wish i was fragile."
"you are," he nodded. "if you weren’t, it wouldn’t hurt so bad when people in jackson look at you the way they do."
"it’s alright that it hurts," he followed. "you don’t gotta act like it doesn’t."
the way he was looking right through you made you feel weird, vulnerable, like he knew your soul. and it was scary because you can't let yourself be seen like that. weak.
"you don’t know me," you said, more to yourself than to him.
joel leaned down until his forehead almost touched yours. "i know enough," he murmured.
and he kissed you again, and even the protests with your fists on his chest, your mouth was saying another thing, just lying down little by little, until you had him over you, his hands on your hips, trying to unbutton your shorts.
from one moment to another, you were tugging his hair, desperate as you felt something pocking on your belly. "god," you gasped, looking down, trying to see even if it was all dark.
"here," he said grabbing your hand and moving it to his bulge. "feel it."
you parted your lips. he was really hard. "i didn't know you still worked."
he chuckled without a single trace of humor behind it. you were not shy about touching him, you were squeezing him even. "never seen one?"
your gaze shifted to his. "not an old one," you saw the way his gaze darkened and the next thing you felt was him taking off your shorts while all you could do was giggle for how easily he gets pissed the same way he says you do.
"you're gonna beg for this old cock," he growled.
you bit your lip and he was already at your entrance, teasing you. and you, falling for it. "got you all wet," he chuckled. "this what you like? old cock?"
you closed your eyes. "yeah," you hissed. "the cock of someone who hates me."
with no warning, he went inside, deep and raw. you whimpered and dug your nails on his cheeks.
he groaned once he felt how soft and tight you were. he didn't hate you even if he wanted to cause you've brought him more problems than peace. but god, it was impossible. in jackson, you always looked so rude and tough though he knows you're not.
and even now, you're trying everything to convince him—or yourself, that this is because he hates you, because you rather that than being seem as vulnerable to someone. especially him.
"god," he said all breathy. "didn't know you were this tight for me."
you bit your lip, trying to muffle moans, but failed. "shut up," you whimpered.
his lips were gentle on your neck, treating you all soft while he worked on you. and you liked it. you liked the way he was fucking you. you liked hearing him as vulnerable as you, you liked him even complimenting on your body. he even grabbed your breasts, squeezing them hard enough to leave his fingertips marked.
you dragged your nails on his back on response. "does it hurt?" you asked between gasps.
"you wouldn't hurt me," he said in the same tone. "even if you try."
you squirmed, feeling his dick, every inch, every vein. your walls were throbbing, reaching the climax. he could see it written all over your face, over the way you were moaning.
he fastened his pace, making the tent move too. and maybe tommy would notice, maybe he had already heard but either of you gave a damn. you just wanted each other, desperately.
you nibbled his ear. "i do hate you," you whispered, making him thrust with no mercy. harder.
"it shows," he groaned and stopped slowly, almost taking his dick off you.
you whined. "god, don't," you said desperately, pushing his hips with your feet. "please."
"please what?" he teased.
"i need you," you said, looking right to his eyes.
"yeah?" he brushed his nose on yours. "what else?"
you swallowed. "i need your cock."
joel's gaze went dark. "you need my old man's cock?" you nodded like a fool. "say it."
"i want your old man's cock, please," you begged in a soft voice.
he could cum to that. he could cream your pussy right there, but he didn't, not until he was sure you had come at least. you were being so brave, taking him in, not even complaining about how big it was for you, because it was, but it felt more than good.
he lied beside you as you fixed your clothes. an awkward silence came after everything calmed down, after you both catched your breath.
you were overthinking, maybe you let yourself be too vulnerable, maybe he's gonna use this against you. you swallowed maybe too hard he heard it. "you okay?"
you nodded, sitting up. "i think i have to go."
"what?" he knitted his brows and sat up too. "what the fuck?"
your eyes filled with tears, you were too overwhelmed because of everything and you couldn't do it anymore. "i just want fresh air."
he huffed. "yeah so i won't find you in the morning," he sighed cupping your face, stopping the tears from spilling. "hey, it's okay. you're safe."
you shook your head. "you're just being sweet because we had sex," he blinked. "and it's okay, i wanted to, but—"
joel knitted his brows. "i wasn't lying when i said you don't get to deal with stuff anymore," he said softly.
"you don't have to do anything for me," you snapped.
"yes, i know you got everything solved by yourself," he rolled his eyes. "but let me help, yeah? i won't get in your way if that's what you want, but i can't do like the jake thing didn't happen either." you didn't say anything right away. "just let's go back to jackson, and let me show you i wasn't lying."
"why would i trust you?" you said with tears running down your cheeks. "how much time until you're the first one telling me how much of a burden i am?"
"look, we both have been pain in each other asses, aren't we?" that got a tiny smile from you. "we've played cat and mouse long enough."
all i need is a big broad daddy with a scruffy beard and a hairy chest where i can cuddle all i want and he would only spoil me cause he loves me more than anything ୨୧♡
