The title made me Nervous As Fuck, but it’s actually a very interesting read.
In the author’s experience, the 1-2-3 fingers ‘preparation’ thing that we all know and love (and happens in 99% of fics) isn’t done by gay men. It’s important to be relaxed and go slow, then take a minute to adjust - but the idea of ‘stretching’ with fingers isn’t recognised. (According to the author. There’s some fighting in the comments. He adds that written fingering is hot - it shouldn’t be wiped from fanfiction by any means - but it should instead be embraced as a pleasurable sex act of its own, rather than a mandatory stage of all anal sex ever.)
Anal sex without preparation and lube isn’t actually going to cripple you. It’s commonly done, especially by long term partners, and frankly it can be part of the appeal.
I’m so guilty of this. I’m sorry, End Game Myc, I didn’t know. Continuing sex after the bottom has come is generally very unpleasant and uncomfortable. It’s also seen as bad etiquette and very selfish.
Cock rings don’t stop you coming. They prolong an erection, sometimes even after coming.
The prostate isn’t a ‘press for pleasure’ button. It doesn’t produce an immediate shower of stars. Like all sexual pleasure, it builds gradually and needs sustained stimulation.
Coming after two or three tugs of the cock shouldn’t be written as ‘standard’, even if the character has been on the edge for a while. It generally takes longer. Ten seconds is given as a ‘minimum’.
Male orgasm isn’t really heat - it’s pressure - and it’s located more in the groin than in the belly.
The slit at the end of a man’s cock isn’t that sensitive. The frenulum (underneath the head) is the sensitive bit. There’s also no large vein on the underside of a penis, and it certainly doesn’t swell up.
Apparently we can make more of a thing out of pre-come. It’s normal for there to be loads of it. (Hurray?)
There’s more discussion, personal experiences and arguing in the comments.
I’d love to pioneer the “fingering isn’t necessary” campaign - but I know that the first fic I post without dutiful fingering will get at least twenty comments explaining to me how anuses work (i.e., they’re elastic and need to be stretched.)
