🥀

[mimixngg]

I still think of you sometimes, but it's not obsessively like before.

I think of you tenderly, for it took too long for me to piece my heart back together —

like a puzzle not missing one piece, but a puzzle that's always changing its pieces.

Many nights, I tired myself out trying desperately to forget you, but I never could.

And it's okay. I am at peace now.

True love leaves you more broken, I've learned,

not with pieces missing, but with pieces that keep breaking.

M.xg

[mimixngg]

You thought my love blinded me, but you are wrong. I see with my heart and my love has teeth. I loved you with patience, kindness, and devotion, and yet I will walk away absolutely with my heart in one piece in one breath.

M.xg

[mimixngg]

I put together the pieces of my heart every morning only to have my heart break every night for you. Constant death and rebirth, but I die more vicious each time.

M.xg

[mimixngg]

How do I let go? How do I command my heart to release you? How do I sleep at night when I dream of you? How do I live every day missing you? How is the sun not bright enough to shine my world without you in it? How is love keeping me alive but killing me at the same time? How do I reclaim myself if you are a part of me? How do I anchor my soul to stop searching for you?

Oh, I miss you. I miss you so much, so deeply, so severely. I miss you so deathly much.

M.xg

[mimixngg]

Maybe one day we’ll see each other again and I’ll ask “How you been?”. You’d tell me stories like you used to and I’ll be sitting across the table gazing at you. Then you’d ask me how I been and I won’t know where to begin. How do I tell you that my heart died the day you left? That I waited every day for this day? I’d smile and lie, tell you everything’s okay. I’ll talk about my family and even maybe how I still write, but I’ll never mention the loneliness I feel every night. We’d catch up without saying the words we should, but maybe it’s best for our own good. You don’t need to admit you ever loved me and I’ll walk away again knowing that this is how it’ll always be. And before I leave, I’ll hold you one last time; a little longer, a little tighter like you’ve always been mine.

M.xg

[mimixngg]

Do not fall in love with the version of me in your head. I promise the real me will put fear in your heart, for I love deeper than you can grasp and I am worse than you can imagine.

M.xg

[mimixngg]

And that’s the thing with men, they will lie and lie and lie to your face. And even if you cut off their tongue, and they can only write, they will write lies.

M.xg

[mimixngg]

To the deep hazel eyes that the moon was named after. All it took was one night for the rest of my life to change. Who I was before you died and who I am after you isn’t living.

M.xg

[mimixngg]

I still write about you. Doesn’t that say enough? All the nights the world was asleep, I stayed up writing for you.

M.xg

[mimixngg]

You opened my door so I can get in, I don’t even put on my seatbelt first. I reach for your door from the inside and open it for you. Gesture so kind, you missed the love behind.

You leave your clothes scattered on the floor. I smile and pick it up. Gently folding it, placing it on the bed so you won’t go looking. Love so devoted, it’s taken for granted.

You sleep soundlessly next to me. I reach over to give you a kiss. Your sweat hits my lips, so I take a notebook and start fanning you. Love in the dark only breaks one heart.

You tell me stories for hours and I listen so intently. Never missing the pain in your voice when you talk about certain things, or how you pause before stating a hurtful truth. Love so quiet like the breeze, you’d only understand when the sun burns your skin.

M.xg

[mimixngg]

I’m sorry that my love wasn’t the calm ocean, but rather a tsunami. That instead of being the warmth of a hearth, it was the burning of a forest fire. I loved you so much, it drowned you and burned everything all together.

In love, I don’t know tenderness. I love with my whole heart and I don’t miss a beat.

I’m sorry for my absolute love. Absolutely protective, absolutely devoted, absolutely fierce, absolutely me.

M.xg

[mimixngg]

I don’t wait anymore. But I still cry. I cry for the version of me that loved you. I mourn for her because I killed that version of myself to become stronger and braver in love. I stabbed a suffocating heart to beat again.

M.xg

[mimixngg]

I never moved on, my love. I just go on, I’ve only continued on with life, still loving you every millisecond of the day and night. I just go on.

M.xg

[mimixngg]

If you never love me, I’ll still love you with my whole heart. Does the sun still shine even when no one can stare directly at it?

M.xg

[mimixngg]

No matter how far you are, we stand under the same sky and dream under the same stars.

M.xg

[mimixngg]

A day will come when you ache for yesterday. You’d wish you could turn back time, but time is like a relentless river, only flowing forward. Even the stars shift in the sky each night. Only your regret will be a constant, faithful companion.

M.xg

[mimixngg]

Should Allah grant us just a single day, I’d claim 24 hours just to sit at your feet. Repeating with every tick of the clock, “I love you”. And if my voice shall fail, I’d still whisper it low.

M.xg