K A R I N A @mind-ology - Tumblr Blog

Posts

when I’m about to get my period all I want to do are watching sad movies and reading sad books and just be all hollow and nothing can stop me from being so emotional ugh

#girlsproblem

Unfriending or blocking someone on social media. 1 day after: Why did you unfriend me? Do you hate me or something? Stop hanging out with someone for three straight years. 1 year after: Nothing.

#whypeoplearesoweird

Two months ago it was just a wish and now I’m running my own studio. It’s a very slow process but I’m proud of what I’m doing :-)

#grateful

The Toxic Friends that You Will Have To be Aware Of

Friendship is beautiful. Over time, I personally focus more on the quality compared to the quantity. Life is complicated already, so I have no interests in adding more unnecessary negativity into my world. However, dealing with many types of personalities, knowing different characters, and learning from the failure of your past friendship are probably the most significant method to make you a better person.

The 3 types of toxic friend that you will have to cut out from your life:

1. The two-faced one

It’s the easiest type to recognize. When they spend time talking to you, they are talking about someone else. From them you usually get the newest gossips and the newest updates about everyone’s life. But once you are not around, they start talking about you to other people. The worst version of this, is, when they pretend to listen to you when you have doubts about some important thing, and you believe them so much, that you even ask them for advice. 3 months later, BAM! Everyone seems to know about your problem already, and with, the improvised version, making you feel so stupid to invest a good deal of time talking to them about that.

2. The super negative one

This is the type of people who are unhappy with themselves and what they can see, hear, and focus on, is just negativity. When you talk about your latest obsession to go on trip, they pointed out how scary it might be. When you talk about how you think you might find the man of your dream, they said it’s way too fast and you’d better re-consider it again. They keep complaining about everything, from the queue line which is too long, the deadline for final project which is too early, or the today’s weather, which is, way too hot. Spending too much time with these people will either, make you an unhappy person too, or, throw you into a frustration,” Why can’t they just say something nice once in a while?”

3. The bad influence

Generally, they are just not a good people to hang out with. Do you start to take a bad habit after spending some time with them? It can be anything, actually, depends on how you live your life and the definition of bad for you. For me, it’s when I start to take a habit that is actually not my thing, make me terribly uncomfortable, or when I start treat people in a way they shouldn’t be treated. Examples can be: when you start lying to your parents, when you spend too much money in a luxurious lifestyle that actually you cannot afford, when you start doing immoral things, when you start skipping classes for nothing, or when you start being rude to other people.

The most important thing is not to block them out of your life (because these people are everywhere, you just have to be selective with whom you’ll open up to, spend more time with the people who are supportive, and help to make the better version of you!), but let’s just, at least, not to be one of them.

#friendship #self improvement #20somethingproblems

Blame It on The Textbook.

Believe it or not, there are plenty of different sayings to ask “How are you?” What’s up? How are things? How are you doing? What’s new? What are you up to? How are you feeling? How’s everything? How have you been?

And instead of the normal “I am fine”, you can say: I’m doing well. Great! Couldn’t be better! I feel wonderful. I’m alright. It’s been better. I’m doing OK. It’s all good.

#english #tips

“Everything seems like such a big deal when it’s happening, and it’s not. Very few things in life matter, and that’s your family and being nice to other people. I remember being in college, hysterically crying because some boy broke up with me, which led me into 2 years of depression. I never think about that guy anymore. I just think about the people who are good in my life, and the person whom I want to be.”

-Allison Raskin, #JustBetweenUs

Another smart, funny, and inspiring person I found in Internet. She’s a comedian and also a writer. Get to know her more in this YouTube channel.

#inspiration #self improvement

There Are So Many Things That Could Go Wrong

I ever had a talk with my best friends about relationship. We skipped all the nice parts and moved on into the ultimate question, “Why it’s so hard to be in a relationship?” Then, I quickly re-touched the question into, “Why it’s so hard to be in a happy relationship?” Yes, I think being in a relationship is fairly easy. You can just get to know someone who seems attractive, spend some time together, and if you both want it, you can be in a relationship in that instant. However, mature, independent, and grown-up person usually wants to be with someone that they think is right for them. They don’t just go to some places and hint everyone that looks nice. So, the actual thing about what difficult is, how to be in a happy, long-lasting, relationship.

Some research said that before finding the man of her dreams, a woman will experience:

Kisses with 15 men.

Two long-term relationships.

Heartbreak, twice.

Seven dates, plus two blind dates and two dates with someone from the Internet.

Four disaster dates.

Being stood up once.

One live-in relationship.

Four one-night stands.

Seven sexual partners.

So it’s clearly not simple. Here are the main reasons you have a bad ending for a relationship:

First, you are not each other best friends. You don’t have to know each other for 3 years before getting into a relationship. You don’t have to go through the same high schools or same colleges. You don’t have to hang out together for movies all the time. I don’t mean friends in that context. However, if you can be best friend with your partner, I guess everything will be easier. You can be yourself around them. You can have a nice team-work. You can do the dishes, and they can make dinner. It’s like a team. Best friend is where your nicest support comes from. When things in life get ugly, you can talk about everything to them without having to worry that they see you in a different way. You listen to each other and be emotionally there, just like best friends!

Second, you live very different life, or have a very different view about future. No matter how great the chemistry between the two of you is, or how madly in love you two with each other, having no common ground is a bad input for a relationship. You don’t have to think exactly the same. But, if one person is just want to be there for having fun, and the other one clearly wants someone to be in his or her future, it will not work. Or, if one person believes that one of the important thing in life is to be good to other people, and the other one doesn’t care much about that kind of stuff, it will not be good. Or, if one person finds energy from being productive, and the other one has no idea what to do in his life, it will be a catastrophe. If your parents’ marriage works, it will be easy for you to spot the things that they have in common.

Third, when the relationship is not balance. Maybe it’s a time when sit waiting for hours for the Skype call they promised, until your parents eventually tell you to give and go to sleep. Then, all you get from them later is a casual, “Sorry, I forgot” text. The pain of that kind of neglect and reject is intense, but it makes you into a stronger person. It helps you realize that some people just don’t deserve that attention and effort. And it’s not always because they are nasty people, or that they wanted to hurt you…it’s simply because they aren’t as dedicated to your relationship as you are.

I believe, for a relationship to work, it requires the same effort from both people. And I believe, in the right relationship, this kind of thing is just happen simply and easily, without even have to think hard about who is “taking and giving” more in the relationship. You won’t spend endless time wondering if the other person exactly feels the same way like you do, because you just feel it. Don’t disrespect yourself by being with someone who doesn’t actually care about you. You deserve better.

Anyway, in the end of the day, you’ll get the lesson learnt and like the famous quotations said,

no relationship is a waste of time - if it didn’t bring you what you want, it taught you what you want.

#relationship #self improvement #20somethingproblems

The Reading Phase

Lately some people keep asking me about book recommendations. So I guess it will be interesting to review how I have been developing myself through reading a lot of books during my life. Maybe it would be related or useful to someone else. I hope.

When I was a little kid, 6 or 7 years old, or maybe a little earlier than that, I’ve already invested so much in books (with my parents’ money). It turned out cute dolls never attract my interests, and honestly I just didn’t know what to do with them. I mean, what should I do? Talking to them? Pretending that they can be my next best friends? It just felt weird because I know they couldn’t speak like human being. And baby-shaped doll is actually a little creepy. Till now, the only function of doll that I knew is, to decorate an empty corner in your bedroom.

So, I collected books. At that time, most of them are fairy tales from Hans Christian Andersen, or at least it came from Europe setting. The books were very nicely illustrated. I remember the story of a poor girl who sells match in the middle of snow with a very sad ending, the story of two kids who get lost in a forest and yes they meet a mean old-lady who is obsessed with candies, the princess who gets back to life after getting a kiss from a real prince, and a man who grows a bean sprout and it magically grown so that the man can climb and meet a giant up there. Maybe this is one of the reason why I become so damn emotional in my teenage years. Lesson learnt.

When I was a little older, 9 or 10 years old, I started to read biography about famous people around the world. Hellen Keller, Thomas Alfa Edison, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Ludwig van Beethoven, Albert Einstein, and so on. It came in a comic form, so it’s very interesting for me. Sometimes the story became so detailed and at that time I didn’t really care about what exactly the famous works of Mozart. I just noticed that he came from a musician family and he started compose a song when he was 6 years old. The thing that impressed me is usually not the big thing. Everyone knows that Hellen Keller was so inspirational even though she had a lot of limitations due to physical disability, but what’s the most interesting thing for me was finding out why she got sick at the first place. My favorite series about the biography was the one who talks about Leonardo da Vinci.

In my early teenage years, 12 or 13 years old, I changed to a cheesy-love novels targeted clearly to young teenagers who doesn’t know anything about love but they think they know a lot about love. It usually always consists of a typical storyline: (1) a girl who loves a guy but he loves someone else (2) two guys who wants the same girl (3) a girl in high school with some hot dudes and a group of mean girls. I must confess that, at that time, I become obsessed with those books. Like, I read each of them at least five times. Maybe ten. Don’t ask why.

Then, in 16, I started to read about Chick-Lit and “light” psychology book. So it gave me the idea about how people live in other country, like USA or UK, because most of the authors came from that two countries. And it captured a whole new thing that I never notice before, things like: women worries about their looks, feeling insecure, how to fight anorexia, how to survive from a physical or emotional abuse, how a teenager get a HIV/AIDS, and that, the simple fact, that life is not that easy and everyone faces something difficult in their life. Eat, Pray, Love was probably the first book that I read in English. I started reading every book in English since I was 17, probably.

After the end of high school and after, I tried to read something more varied. Usually I just simply read the summary of the story-line from the back cover, or ask my friend, or just impulsively buy some books that have a nice and unique cover. I became a fan of a fiction like 12 books of Darren Shan series (it’s an epic story of a real vampire, with unpredictable story line, memorable characters, emotional conflicts, battle & sacrifice, everything!), Chick-Lit especially the Shopaholic series (it’s very light and entertaining at the same time), young-adult romance, self-help, psychology, cool biography, and another bunch of inspirational fictions.

Like any other phase, I also made some mistakes when it comes to reading something. I ever be in a phase where I just read what everyone around me reads or a book which is nicely placed in a best-seller shelf. Like, Twilight series.

There would also be a book which you will only read once and just didn’t have interests to read again. Or the type of book which you haven’t even finished it yet but you know that you would definitely read it again when you’re finished. Or the book which you find nice to read from time-to-time. Or a book to accompany you travel. That’s OK. The more you read, the easier for you to know what kind of book is “your book”. Then, you can use that to guide to your next reading-lists. I use Goodreads now because I don’t want to be mislead anymore by only a nice cover or a nice marketing tactics. I also read and get so many insightful, original, and inspirational contents from Thought Catalog, Medium, HelloGiggles, and Lifehack.org.

*My favorite authors are Sophie Kinsella, Mitch Albom, and Jodi Picoult.

Happy Sunday and happy reading!

#personal #reading #self improvement #goodreads

You are Not Your Mistakes

“Maybe some of you have been through a hard time in your life. For once in your life you probably be misunderstood. Or maybe you feel like it’s raining everyday. You just never see a possibility of getting better. Or maybe you’re really heart broken by someone you never thought will break your heart. Maybe you lost yourself. Maybe you don’t feel special. Maybe you don’t know where you gonna go next. All of that can be really confusing. When you’re feeling those things, I hope you’re reminded that you are not damaged goods. You’re not your mistakes. You’re not the results of things that you’d wish you do better, or you feel you choose the wrong path instead of the right one. You’re not somebody else’s think of you. You are wiser because you make those mistakes. You are someone that ready to take chances. I think that’s so much better than never having a mistake or failure. I think that when we make mistakes, that’s what makes us stronger, over and over again...and make us, clean.”

- Taylor Swift, on the 1989 World Tour, Tokyo Dome

#taylor swift #self improvement

How I Thought University Life Will Be Compared to How It Actually Turns Out.

I remember being 16, feeling bored in geography class, keep asking in my mind why I should learn that subject in the first place because I’m pretty sure I will never need it for my future, and wondering how exciting it will be to enter a university. Now, I am almost 22, almost finishing my university life, and most of the times spending my time remembering how nice it feels to be back to high school again. If only I had the chance to repeating it again from day one, big chance I would say yes. For some good parts, I would even love to repeat it twice. I notice I had some misconceptions about university life when I was younger:

1. I will spend a lot of time hanging out with friends.

When I was in high school, I spent a lot more time with friends to just eat outside, take funny pictures, laugh at our own jokes, or watch new movie in the cinema. Probably, once in two weeks, or maybe more. When I am studying in university, the frequency of my social life really dropped. Mostly, when we go out, it’s for studying together for exams or doing some group project. In the early semesters, I guess my willingness to getting to know new people was still high, so I spent quite a lot of time to socialize. But when it turned into year 3 and 4, when I have some free time, all I want to do is staying at home, catching up on a me-time, or again, doing some school works, because believe me, they are always there..

2. It will be so nice to have flexible learning system.

Yes, it is flexible. You don’t have to sit in the class from 7 to 2 listening to teachers with some occasional break. Usually in one day, I just have 2 or 3 classes maximum, with long breaks, well, sometimes, too long break. 1 class is usually just around 2 and half hours. I focused too much on the word flexible, than the other fact that you have to learn and expected to understand so much things in just 2 and half hours. Materials that used to be comprehend in 2 weeks in high school, must be compressed into just that 2.5 hours. So that sometimes you have to learn by yourself at home if you cannot concentrate much in class.

3. I don’t have to bring so many books to class!

This is true yeay-ness, for me. My high school was quite strict with super long list of rules, including always bringing textbooks to your class. There were many of them, all so heavy, and not so useful sometimes. In university, it’s all up to you. Some teachers required us to bring original textbooks, but most of them don’t really care, as long as you can find your own method to learn. You can learn from library, borrow senior’s, buy the secondhand book, or have no book, at all. May the odds grades be in your favor.

4. It will not be stressful if you only study what you like.

Yes, yes, that’s quite true. I take Business Management as my major, so I’d like to say bye to physics, chemistry, geography, or something like art and drawing. I just have to focus on Economics, Accounting, Finance, Entrepreneurship, and the other stuffs. But that’s why you must be careful choosing what you’re really like. It’s advisable to check the curriculum or the syllabus of the degree that you’d love to take before you make a decision. Sometimes, what we think is different than what it actually is. Before, I did not know that Management’s students must learn Statistics too. I did not even know what’s really the difference between Management, Marketing, and Finance, as our major. Imagine if you don’t like Math but you somehow choose Civil Engineering which includes a lot...a lot of numbers.

5. There will be a lot of cool kids to hang out with.

Yes, they probably are. But, things are so much different compared to high school friends. There are too many students in one batch of university year, for example 500 up to thousands people. I almost finish my study, and maybe I only know 60% of my school mates. Note that, I only know, means that I might just know her face but not her name, or vice versa. Besides that, we all come from different high schools, different cultures, different cities, and of course, different personality. We have different classes and schedules. After some school years, some of them not taking the same classes anymore, and there are seniors and freshman in my class too. If I make it into a Venn Diagram, the number of people in my university who have the same: (1) high school culture background (2) way of socializing (3) school activities or interests (4) location where they live, may not reach 10% ha-ha. The cool kids will still be cool, you just don’t have many opportunities as well as willingness to hang out with them.

Enjoy your young age as much as you can, don’t worry too much about growing up, you will eventually grow up (even if you don’t like it) but you only be young once.

#high school #university #20somethingproblems #personal

How Diverse Definition of Happiness Is.

I have just finished another self-help book called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I got it as a gift from winning a writing contest and I was quite excited reading it; this is the book which I have been wanting to buy for the last five months, maybe, but something kept distracting me from purchasing it.

The blue with nice illustrated cover book is basically a shared experience from the author, who feels a sudden urge to make her life better and happier in every aspects. She decided to challenge herself to make a “happiness project”, doing things that she find effective to change her life, or her perspective for life, in one full year. Every month she created a specific theme, for example: energy or health, mindfulness or paying attention, love or giving affection, passion or maintain your hobby and in December she tried to do every resolutions everyday.

There are many insights that I found meaningful from this book. First, I feel so connected with the authors in some ways. She is obsessed about making lists, writing, and so happy from being productive. I am not alone. Second, the author did so many researches regarding happiness and psychology, to support her project and we can read some of the interesting research from her book. And the third one is, it is so delightful to understand the fact that you can actually make yourself happier, in a logical approach.

However, I personally think that this project might not be suitable for everyone. I think the main point of the book is quite good, to make a reasonable steps of being happy. But. maybe, making the process into "a-to-do-list" and with "a theme" every month is just not for everyone. Consistency could be a big enemy for some people. I have ever tried to do it once. Trying to write blog post every day, not working. Trying to exercise once in a week, not working. Trying to eat full breakfast every morning, not working. Not that I am that lazy, but maintaining some kind of consistency can be stressful. At some point, I will not find an excitement anymore when things become routine. And I become less productive when I have to do something because I have to, not because I want to.

The point is, try what works for you since the definition of happiness itself varied greatly between everyone.

“As great minds throughout the ages have pointed out, one of our most pressing concerns should be to discover the laws of our own nature. I had to build my happiness on the foundation of my character; I had to acknowledge what really made me happy, not what I wished made me happy.”

#happiness project #book review #self improvement

Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella

Falls in women fiction category, Kinsella talked about a ghost as the second main figure in a very funny way.

The same with other books written by Kinsella, she told the story from the main character’s point of view, Lara - a self-employed head hunter who is seriously cannot get over her ex, Josh. She is not in the mood for attending her great-aunt’s funeral, Sadie Lancaster, but as her parents insisted, she finally goes. Afterwards, Lara is haunted by the spirit of Sadie, who demands her to find her precious necklace. Like another classic story about the death person, Sadie clearly cannot rest in peace without that mysterious jewelry in her hand.

Then the togetherness of Sadie and Lara to accomplish their mission somehow becomes entangled with the healing process of Lara’s former lover, infatuation to her new American boyfriend, generation-gap between 100-something years old Sadie and 20 something Lara, dealing with obnoxious family member, and the ultimate discovery of old paintings that make Sadie a very famous icon in London Portrait Gallery. They grow from hatred and negativity to a friendship, which is so rare and pure between them.

This is the perfect book for you, if:

you are addicted to other books written by Kinsella

you have a good sense of imagination (and humor)

you have curiosity of what people do, wear, and live in 1920s

you want to cheer yourself up without thinking too much

However, not recommended for:

people who cannot tolerate that a ghost can give you love advice and sex tips

people who love un-predictable ending

people who do not understand how some characters can have so many dramas in the same time

This book will probably make you:

feel sorry for all old relatives that you have but you do not really care for

relieve that you are not the only human being who becomes insecure of family gathering

never run a business with a friend whom you cannot trust from the beginning

learn that just because an ex still put your photo as his phone’s background, it doesn’t necessarily mean he wants you back

Favorite line from the book:

“If your life’s at a juncture and you need to think about things, there’s nowhere better than home. However old you are.”

#book review

What A Start-Up Business Experience Taught Me.

Technically, I would be graduated from university and get a Bachelor degree in the end of my complete name this September. However, the constant struggle in order to get that degree began since last September. The thing is, my university requires its students to create and to run a new business before they could be labeled qualified to obtain the degree. Why? (1) because it’s said as the best business school in Indonesia (2) because the school wants to empowers entrepreneur instead of casual workers in company. Therefore, I had to make a group of 5 people and started to create our business.

It’s been a very long-tough-and-complicated process. We decided to make a recreational drinks in which all of the main ingredients comes from soy-bean. We modified the old-and-boring image of soy-milk into the creative-and-modern brand under the name Beanie Meenie. Anyway, as a team, I’d say we are pretty productive and we are reunited in one thing, called money positive outcome.

This is what I have learnt from the start-up business experience:

#1. The importance of decision-making skills.

Every time, there is always something that you’ve got to choose. Whether it’s this supplier or that supplier, compromising over price or quality, the better location for your first outlet, when we should do that market research, what to say to customers, how the logo would look better: with or without ribbon, and a bunch of other things. If you take too much time to think, chances are, the opportunity will be gone (and usually never comes back). But if you decide things in a rush, chances are, you make the poor results. The more decision you make, the more effective you will be when trying to compare the pros with the cons.

#2. Discuss, no need to take the stress alone.

When horrible thing happens, try to talk to your group mate. Or whoever you work with. Try to explain things logically and ask for other’s opinion. It’s wonderful sometimes to have other ideas to listen to, when you are stuck in your own mind. That’s what group mate are for. If it’s still difficult to make decision, try to brainstorm and spell that two magic words “Let’s vote.”

#3. Do what you can do, give the rest to the experts.

The fact about being an entrepreneur is, you have always think. Period. There’s always something to be improved, something to be eliminated, something to be changed, and something to be invented. But no one can do everything by his own. You might be good in organizing people, so do that. If you are good in recording finance and handling money, do that. If you are good in dealing with people, do that. If you are good in design, do that. No need to do everything by your own. Sometimes you have to let go some of necessary task to someone who is more capable than yourself, even if it means you have to pay for their service. I think in the end it’s still more effective than trying to do it with your own hands which takes time and energy, with no satisfying results.

#4. Take a day off is healthy.

I know how stressful things can be, and when you feel like you could not take it anymore, I think it’s better to take a break. Try to focus on other things, try to entertain your own mind, try to relax, and forget about everything for a while.

#5. Be flexible.

When some goals are not being met, we have to be more flexible. After a long-list-of-rejections from possible leasing opportunity, we have to be more open to another ideas of leasing. Maybe it will not be as bad as we think before. Run out of raw materials in the most crucial time, then we have to shift to the traditional forms of the raw materials. The packaging design that we have dreamed about has came to failure, then we have to search for another type of design. Remember that second option will never be as good as the first, but they are called “option” for some reasons.

I personally feel impressed by all of the young entrepreneurs in Indonesia who are brave enough to take this huge responsibility to make money, instead of getting a stable-but-maybe-not-exactly-what-they-want kind of job. They are my inspiration to not give up! :)

#start up #business #indonesia #experience #self improvement #productivity #inspiration #life

some tough questions to understand yourself better

#1. Usually do you listen to your heart or to your brain?

According to Myers-Briggs personality type indicator, I am a true INFJ, and the F stands for feeling rather than thinking. It is said that an INFJ has a strong intuitive systems that lead them to strong decision, no matter what people said. Personal concerns always be more important than objective information when they have to decide something. I think that is 90 per cents true, and when I really don’t know what to do, instead of listening to my brain, I usually consult with my best friend or literally Google everything (yes, sometimes I am that pathetic).

#2. If there’s no financial problem, would you work where you are working now?

Oh right now I am actually still in a base level of employment world, because I am just earning money by giving piano lessons to kids and young teenagers. Other than that I am busy making start-up in beverage industry with my friends (and still earn no profit, yes, business is that cruel). I always feel good by teaching music. I started to take it seriously 4 years ago, and the happiness that I feel whenever I am in the music studio listening to my students’ is still there. The achievement that my students made recently and the satisfying number of loyal students are the indicators of me being in the right path. It’s not a full-time job, so I cannot really talk about money. But if money really would not be a problem, I probably do what I do now, as a music instructor, with more learning resources, facilities, and number of students. Besides that, I actually will enjoy being a writer. Not so sure what kind of writer, but let’s say a contributor in some websites and online magazine. I was always being told I am good with words and my writing can inspire others to do or at least to feel something. So, I would just simply be a music teacher and a freelance writer, and my life would be perfect. A great article I read last week related to this question.

#3. What makes you keep motivated and carry on?

I would like to state first that it’s very normal and acceptable to not feel motivated all the time. We are just human after all, with all the crazy emotions, difficult surroundings, and negativity mixed-up inside. There would be some days when you don’t feel like doing anything and just spend time in internet to do nothing productive, or just being lazy in bed, or daydreaming all day long. As long as you don’t stay like that for your whole life, I think that’s okay. It’s extremely important to know what makes you excited back to real life again. Everyone is different, but for me, I am motivated by my own goals. No, I am not kidding. No this is not a job interview. It’s just how I am.. Most of the times I know what I would like to achieve let’s say in the next one year, and I know I would be satisfied and happy if I could meet those plans for myself. But the more relax answer is I am motivated by surrounding myself with positive and kind people, by stay close to my interest or hobbies, and by reminding myself that life is actually so short, and if I can manage my time wisely, there are so many awesome things that I can obtain in my life.

#4. What is happiness for you?

“Someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.”

#5. If everything was possible, where would you live?

United Kingdom. The accents, universities, historical backgrounds, landmarks, best hospitality, wonderful cities, beautiful countrysides.

#6. What is one of the nicest things someone has ever done for you?

Making sure that the restaurant in which we would have dinner has a non-smoking area just because he remembered the strong dislike I have towards smoke.

#7. What is home to you?

Where you can feel comfort and instant happiness no matter how difficult your day was.

#8. How do you know when it’s time to let go of something or someone?

When they make you feel sad more often than they make you happy. When they make you feel negative (worry, anger, hatred, sad, insecure, unmotivated) more often than they make you feel good (energized, confident, cheerful, relax).

#9. What is the last advice someone gave to you that you will not forget?

“You know, people tend to categorize or put label into everything, personality, relationship, life, anything, but if someday you are not fit in to the category, don’t be upset. Sometimes people don’t fall into any category, and that’s okay. Sometimes the box just doesn’t fit and it’s OK.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, it’s OK!”

“Whatever happen in Czech Republic, stays in Czech Republic.”

“Don’t worry, everything will be okay. The boat will be straight when they meet the bridge. So everything will be okay.”

“Personality is never change.”

“If you truly love each other you can face anything.”

“It’s OK not to be friends with your ex.”

and

“I really concern when you have bad days. I believe everything will be ok. Sometimes it’s like that, sometimes it sucks. Everyday cannot be perfect, but it will be better, just talk and tell me more about it.”

#personal #self improvement #inspiration

Diversity is not always a bad thing. Sometimes our differences are the main reason why we stay longer in some people’s heart.

#quote

4 habits Indonesian should really stop doing.

1. Spend time doing absolutely nothing.

Maybe there should be a point for everyone to reflect how much time they spend on social media. I know the fact that social media is so addictive, but the problem is we do not recognize it very often. From one likes you get in Instagram, you go stalking someone. And that one person’s profile leads to another one. And it goes on and on and on. Suddenly, every updated that people make becomes far more interesting compared to real life’s activity that you supposed to work on fifteen minutes ago. Not only worthless time that we spend on social media, we may be also have to consider the time we spend on sitting in a nice café or restaurant doing absolutely nothing. It’s probably okay if you are the type of person who is more productive outside home, so you can exploit the free internet access all day long to work on your project in an exchange of a cup of coffee. However, cut down the number of hours spent if you are just busy with your mobile, or taking cute pictures, or talking about other people, or basically, everything that you can do at home, in your free time.

2. Show up late.

I really cannot stand people who always come late, on every appointment or meeting. I used to break down my activities per hour basis (it doesn’t mean that I am that busy, but sometimes I am). If one thing is late, it would affect other activities after. Other than that, I just appreciate the quality of time, and that’s why I never understand people who cannot be on time. The problem is, showing up late is so widely practiced among Indonesian and it becomes almost normal to show up late. People do not feel they need to explain why they are so late. People do not apologize anymore about their lateness. People do not even try to be on time. They know they have to be at some places at 8, and they do not make an effort to wake up at least 6 30. The clock is ticking to 7 30, and they do not make an effort to be faster. Just. Don’t. Understand.

3. Busy with other people’s business.

It’s very common for Indonesian to gossip about others. It can be OK if it’s related to you in some aspects, but some people are just care too much about other people’s problem even if they don’t know them personally. They put a lot of personal opinion and the main issue becomes not clear anymore. They also love to be involved too much in other people’s personal life. “Have you got a boyfriend?” “Is your relationship that serious?” “When will you two get married?” “How many kids you have?”–type-of-question is very common to ask in a social setting, just as casual as “How are you?” in other parts of the world.

4. Judge people so easily.

It’s very easy for Indonesian to say something negative about other people, just because those people think or do something differently compared to them. See someone in their 30′s and still single, “Oh, why doesn’t she get married already? It’s a pity.” Well, maybe it’s her choice to stay single maybe forever, and that’s OK. “Oh, I heard that she cannot have a child so she adopts a baby!” Seriously, what is bad about that? “She’s the only child, but she is going to move to US, oh, doesn’t she care about her parents?” Okay, maybe she is brave enough to make such a big decision, and maybe her parents are open-minded and supportive enough to let her grow in other country.

It’s so depressing sometimes to be in Indonesia and don’t think in the same way like other Indonesian. I wish that we can get rid of those 4 habits and then Indonesia would become more productive, creative, respectful, and positive :)

#personal #self improvement

The Right One Will Make Everything Makes Sense Again.

Do not be with someone who is giving gifts and surprises if the primary goal is just to win your heart. Do not be with someone who always throws you into guilt. Do not be with someone who is too arrogant to say sorry. Do not be with someone who always gives something just to gets something back in return. Do not be with someone who cheats on you. Do not be with someone who ignores your tears. Do not be with someone who is unhappy all the time. Just because someone tells you that he loves you, it doesn’t mean they can control your feelings. Do not be with someone who acts differently in front of you and in front of their friends and family. Do not be with someone who makes you feel afraid when they are angry or upset. Do not be with someone who makes you feel afraid to speak your opinion. Do not be with someone who gives you silent treatment instead of communicating things over. Do not be with someone who makes you feel that you are never good enough. Also, just because someone is making effort to be with you in the beginning, it doesn’t guarantee he will keep giving effort after months of relationship. And if he is the right one, he will always makes you feel loved. Start questioning if they are not excited to see you anymore. Start questioning if they never ask you out first anymore. Please re-evaluate everything if you feel like it’s only you alone who still fight for this relationship to work. Please re-evaluate if after months of being together, you do not know anything about his friends and families. Start questioning if after months, the list of things that you have in common is getting less and less, and the only thing you can see is how huge the difference and the gap between the two of you. Do not be with someone who is never around when you need support the most. Think again if the two of you have totally different view about how to live your life. Do not be with someone who is totally lost about his own life; he will never leads you to something better. Do not be with someone who is not interested in the details of your life. If he is the right guy, you will feel happy more often than you feel sad. If he is the right guy, you will feel more than you think. If you start questioning everything, big chance that he is not the right one.

Be with someone who is doing the small-simple things just to make you happy. Be with someone who remembers details of things that you like and dislike, even though you only mention it once, just to make sure everything will work out and make you comfortable and happy. Be with someone who is forgiving. Be with someone who is happy with their own life. Be with someone who appreciates little things in life so it is not difficult for them to be happy. Be with someone who respects your opinion and your past. Be with someone who is telling you “I love you” in the middle of conversation, in the middle of movies, or while driving in the car. Do not be with someone who is only telling you “I love you” after fight, after tears, of if it’s only in bed. Be with someone who adores your personality as who you are. Be with someone who makes you feel good about yourself. Be with someone who listens to your worries and your dreams. Be with someone who is plain and simple, they mean what they say, and they say what they mean. Be with someone who you can put trust on and who can trust you, so that even though you are not talking to each other all the time, you feel secure not to lose him in all of sudden, and when you both have time you just cannot wait to tell each other about your day. Be with someone who feels like a good old friend to your soul, so that you can tell them everything without hesitation. Be with someone who engaged you into their circle of friends and families. Be with someone who wants to take cute pictures with you. Be with someone who wants you to be in their future. Be with someone who has passion and motivation in their life. Be with someone who is working hard to achieve what they want. Be with someone who wants to know your family and friends. Be with someone who cares about you as much as you care about them. Be with someone who understands your bad day as much as your good day. Be with someone who still makes plan for you. Be with someone who knows what they want to do with their life. Be with someone who is excited with the idea of seeing you and talking to you. Be with someone who takes care of you. Be with someone who is telling you I love you to makes sure you know, instead of to hear it back from you. Be with someone who supports you. Be with someone who understands sometimes you are probably busy and do not always have full time for each other and that’s okay. Be with someone who is willing to compromise. Be with someone who appreciates your effort to make them happy. Be with someone who is interested in your life. Be with someone who is honest and brave enough to admit his flaws and weaknesses. Be with someone who makes consistent effort to be with you so that you will not even recognize who is giving more and who is taking more in the relationship. Be with someone who motivates you to be a better person, inside and outside. Be with someone who makes you stop searching for somebody else.

#personal #relationship #20somethingproblems

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

K A R I N A