Choom Choom!

spacecraft noises & other important matters.

[minejima]

Hiccups

The kid comes into my room past bedtime and complained. "Ugh...I can't sleep I have hiccups." "I can help you. Would you like that?" I offered "Yes please." He sighs with relief. "Ok but I need to warn you- you might get nightmares for about ten days...give or take." "What? Why?!" He's genuine shocked. "I have to scare the hiccups away! It's a fact!" ".....But 10 days...?" "Give or take." I nodded. "It's not worth it." "Well, let me know when you change your mind." "Well, YOU let me know when you have a sensible idea." Hahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

[minejima]

Reading is Awesome

"I like reading." Announced the kid. "Mhmm... I know." "Do you know why mama?" "Why?" "When I read, I can see the images in my head. It plays in my head. It's funny, it goes in as words but turn into pictures in my brain. Reading is awesome." He then proceeds to spend 30mins staring at the cover of his book. I love this kid and his brain. And yes, reading is awesome.

[minejima]

So Airplanes Won't Crash

"Mama, I had a dream." Said the kid as he climbed into our for a morning cuddle.

"You want to tell me about it?" I asked.

"Mm..I forgot some of it but it was about airplanes. I was thinking about how to stop planes from crashing." He said rubbing his eyes. "I dreamt that there were cables connecting the airplanes to the ground so that they would not crash."

"Sounds like it was a good dream." I said.

"Yeah. But I forgot the rest. It was a good dream, but I was very busy in it. I feel like i am still tired." He yawned.

"So close your eyes and rest for a while."

"Ok."  He said kissing me on the cheek, then promptly fell asleep.

[minejima]

Gentlemen

The kid and I were walking up a stationary escalator on a Saturday afternoon. It was chaotic because only one side was open and there were people going both up and down that narrow escalator. 

When we were half way up the escalator, I saw a lady with a stroller, three toddlers plus shopping bags making her way down. She was clearly stressed trying to maneuver the stroller down the steps while making sure her children were safe.

“Kai, I’m going to help this lady bring her stroller down the escalator, you go ahead and wait for me at the top okay? I won’t be long.”

The kid shot me a worried look, then looked at the lady with the now crying toddlers and nodded.

Like a champ he went up the steps with no complaints.

When we got to the bottom of the escalator, the grateful mother thanked me,  and said with a wink “It’s always the ladies who offer help- so much for the gentlemen huh?" 

When i got back up to the waiting kid, I told him what the lady had told me.

”That’s not true!“ he retorted. ”At kungfu, only the men help me. No women ever do!“

"Do you mean in the bathroom?”

“Yeah. Only the men help with turning the tap on so I can wash my hands.”

“It’s the men’s bathroom Kai, women are not allowed in there.”

“Oh.”

“And frankly, we wouldn’t want to be either.”

“Yeah it smells in there.”

“Nuff said”

[minejima]

R-A-R

"Mama, I am going to spell out what I want to say to you okay?"

"Okay, that's a great game!" I said.

"I-a-m-g-o-i-n-g-t-o-r-a-r-y-o-u. Okay! What did I spell?" He asked.

"I got the 'I am going to' part, but what is r-a-r?"

The kid looked at me and said in an authoritative voice.

"Mama, r-a-r. sound it out. What does it spell?"

"Rar?" I ventured, still confused.

That's right!", he said and looked proudly at me.

"I am going to 'rar' you? What does 'rar' mean?", I asked.

He made a tiger claw gesture with his hands and growled "RAR!"

[minejima]

That's Just Fine

We were in the car when the kid exclaimed: “Oh no! I saw someone litter (it was a tissue) and a car went over it and the car almost tipped over!”

"Really? The car almost tipped over huh. Wow."  I wondered if he could detect sarcasm.

“Yup, " he replied earnestly. 

No, he couldn’t. I tried again. "Must have been some tissue huh."

"Uh-huh. And it was bumpy, so it was uneven. That’s why." He reasoned. Then added, “They should be fined.”

"Really?"

"Yup. Singapore fines you $1,000.00 for littering!"

I turned around to look at him.

"How do you know that?"

"It was on Tita Lita’s (my mom’s helper) t-shirt. It said ‘Singapore Is A Fine City.’"

[minejima]

Education

We were on our way to kungfu when the kid who was deep in thought suddenly said, "So, Mama, while I am young, like now, I am a kid, I am going to study on Earth. Then when I am an adult, I will study in space. But only when I am an adult."

"Why would you study in space?", I asked.

"Because I am going to be an astronaut!" 

[minejima]

Joker

The kid and Papa were talking when something flew past Papa's face.

"Whoa, it's a bee!", said Papa.

I didn't see it, but I imagine a less than graceful duck was involved.

"What kind of bee was it Papa?" The kid asked, genuinely curious.

"I don't know", said Papa. "It's a may-bee", he laughed. And because he thought it was funny, he repeated it, "A maybe...got it?"

The kid sighed, "You just have to say it one time Papa." He held out a finger for emphasis. "I know it's a joke because you laughed. But if you keep saying it then it's not a joke anymore."

[minejima]

Last Names

The kid is starting K2 in a new school mid-August and there is another boy from his old school who will also be there. I wanted to find out what his last name was.

"Hey, do you know what Arthur’s last name is?", I asked the kid.

"Nope" he replied, then changed his mind and said, "Oh yes, yes, I do know it".

"What is it?"

"Stoppit"

"Stoppit? That’s a weird name. Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I’m sure. The teachers are always calling him 'Arthur Stoppit, Arthur Stoppit, Arthur Stoppit!'"

[minejima]

What's Yours Is Mine

"We’ll be married eight years in a couple of weeks", I said to the husband.

"What did you say mama?", chirped the kid at the back of the car.

"Just that mama and papa have been married for almost eight years"

"What’s married?"

I struggle for a while and decided to go with, "It means very simply, that what is Papa’s is Mama’s, and what is Mama’s is Papa’s.”

"And mine!", exclaimed the kid, not missing a beat.

"Yes, yours too."

"So for example, Papa’s computer is your computer, and Papa’s computer is also my computer!"

Nice try kid.

[minejima]

American

Mama, did you know the Americans don’t speak American?

Really?

Yeah.

Well what do they speak?

English!

[minejima]

Dehydration

We were watching a theatre production one night when the kid turns to me and whispers, “I’m thirsty Mama. Can I have some water?”

We were only 15 minutes in so there was no way I could go out to get him some.

“I’m sorry, we’ll have to wait for the interval.”

"What’s that?", he asked.

"That’s when there is a break in the show so thirsty people,can get a drink, and people who had a drink can go to the toilet", I whispered back.

"Okay."

Ten minutes later he turns to me and says, “My lips are so dry mama, I really need some water”.

Out of desperation, I fish around in my bag and pull out my lip balm.

"Here", I said, taking the cap off.

"What’s that?", he asked.

"Lip balm. It will help with your dry lips"

The kid grimaced. “No mama, my lips are dry because I am thirsty. I don’t need lip balm!”

"I’m sorry, you’ll have to wait."

"Mama, you know my body is 70% water and there is only one and a half percent left left. I really need water".

We were the first ones out during the interval.

[minejima]

Feather Seeds

Mama what is this? Asked the kid as I handed him a little herb packet to put into the grocery basket.

"Fennel seeds", I replied.

"Feather seeds?"

"Mm hmm" I replied, not really paying attention.

"Mama! Feather seeds? Like if we ate them we would grow wings?"

He was now holding the fennel seeds like it was magical.

"No silly, fennel seeds. Not feather seeds."

"Oh" said the disappointed kid as he dropped the packet and walked away.

I think I missed an opportunity there...

[minejima]

War Games

Last night the kid and I played a little game before dinner. He had a fleet of (pretend) jet planes that shot lasers and I had an invisible warship.

He kept shooting (pretend) lasers at my invisible ship (lasers! Choom choom choom!) but my ship had a force-field made out of mirrors (engage force-field!). The laser beams would hit the mirrors and ricochet back to destroy all his planes.

My pretend warship was so awesome and indestructible that it left the kid visibly frustrated, and I had a good laugh-before I gave him a consolatory cuddle.

While we were having lunch today the kid said to me: "Mama, guess what. My jets are so powerful that they have lasers that could shoot through the gaps between the mirrors of your ship."

"Well Kai, my ship has 3 layers of mirrors. And they are laid out in a way, that there could be NO way your lasers could find any gaps. They won't even get through." I replied smugly.

"Well, then my jets will just shoot rocks at the mirrors and after they break your mirrors they will shoot lasers at your ship and your ship will sink because you will have no more mirrors to protect you from the lasers from my jets."

"Rocks?"

"Uh-huh."

Darn it. He really put thought into this.

[minejima]

Schooled. (Seriously)

It's the time of the year when Papa is knee deep in scripts and while we were driving home from dinner, he tried a couple of jokes on the kid and me.

"I don't get it", complained the kid who wants to know everything.

"Yeah , I think you won't understand some of the jokes because you are too young, Kai", explained papa.

"Then tell me some that I would understand."

Papa tried a couple of jokes, but none of them worked.

Then I decided to try one.

"Hey Kai, what's black and white and black and white and black and white?"*

Without missing a beat, the kid said, "AB Color."

"What?" I asked.

"So," the kid explained, "For example, the colors repeat and that makes a pattern. So. Like white and green and white and green and white and green...it goes on and on. It Makes a pattern. Or with letters, so it would be A, then B, then A, then B, A, B, A, B...it also makes a pattern. So you call that AB Pattern. Or with colors you can call it AB Color Pattern."

Silence.

"I did not know that", said Papa eventually.

"Neither did I", I replied.

*The answer is: A penguin rolling down the hill.

[minejima]

Smithsacab

On the way to tennis today, the kid and I were chatting in the taxi. I asked him how his day was (Good), if he ate all his lunch (Ummm no.) and was he excited to go to tennis (Yes!). The we were quiet for a while. I put my arm around him and gave him a little hug. As I was thinking of how much I cherished these little moments with the kid, he interrupted my thoughts.

"Mama, did you know you could Smithsacab?"

"Mmm? Smittacab? What's that?"

"No, he chuckeld Not Smittacab, Smithsacab! Smiths. Not Smitts."

I had no idea what that meant so I asked him.

"What does that mean?"

"I dunno", he shrugged.

"Well, how do you spell it?"

"S, M, S"

Oh.

SMS-A-CAB

[minejima]

Share

I got the kid a cookie and told him to share it with his father.

"Do you want some of my cookie papa?"

"Thank you Kai", replied papa and took a bite.

"More papa?"

"Nochet"

"Now?"

"No, later."

"You want, papa?" asked the kid, waving the cookie at his father.

"No. Stop asking me Kai!" His father was getting irritated now.

"You don't want it papa?"

"No Kai!"

"Ok then, I guess I will eat it alone then."

Papa just got played.