The Name Is J @minijsworld - Tumblr Blog

Grandma asked for you again brother

I am sure she asks herself everyday but it’s something we all don’t talk about cuz at least for me thinking about it breaks me even more than I thought

Since you’ve left life has had no meaning

I want to believe it so bad

I’m ruining everything so why even

I’m dying to die

I hope the day I can end this all is close

destroymylife

It’s one thing after another

Financially shit is piling up. I have no energy to keep pushing I’m literally at the peak of my exhaustion yet knowing my situation I’m trying to get more days at my second job

I’m so fucking selfish I have people that I love and that I think love me but I’m so tired

What do I do I really can’t stand being another day here .

I’m trying to be super positive it’s a whole new year I’m pumping everyone up. I’m home now and I’m sitting on the floor wishing it was over for me

How am I not dehydrated I literally have cried all day

My mom always has the solution how do I ask her for the solution to my dilemma

It’s seen as over exaggerating, dramatic, childish. Maybe that is how my feelings are so how do I stop. How do I act and feel normal

I will never be ok and that is a fact

This isn’t enough. When I’m done I’m still breathing. I still can get up from the bathroom floor and I still have the rest of the day to live. My time is now I must go but I don’t let myself. Why?

I really wish id do it. I need to think of a way. A way that isn’t traumatizing to my family. A way they’d think it was of natural cause. I’m working my ass off so I can leave debt free and save as much as I can take it all out and leave it for them so they don’t worry about handling the situation. I’m not meant to be here so why am I here. What is holding me back from doing it. I am reach the end of the stick. I hope my time is soon. I don’t think I can make it through another year.

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The Name Is J