Sufjan Stevens. ‘The Ascension’.
When I am dead and the light leaves my breast
Nothing to be told, nothing to confess
Let the record show what I couldn’t quite confess
For by living for myself, I was living for unrest
Then the evidence came back in a chariot of vindication
But the prophecy fell back as it gave to me an invitation
Show them what is blessed
But now it strikes me far too late again
That I was asking far too much of everyone around me
And now it strikes me far too late again
That I should answer for myself as the Ascension falls upon me
So what should be said of a life that leaves its mess?
For once your life was sold, it could never be possessed
You were selfishly as a continent
You were finally at your best
For you favored for yourself when selfishness was blessed
Then Cordelia came back in a chariot hallucination
But the prophecy was a pantomime as it came to me in accusation
But now it strikes me far too late again
That I was asking far too much of everyone around me
And now it strikes me far too late again
That I should answer for myself as the Ascension falls upon me
And now it frightens me, the thought against my chest
To think I was asking for a reason explaining why everything’s a total mess
And now it frightens me, the dreams that I possess
To think I was acting like a believer when I was just angry and depressed
And to everything there is no meaning
A season of pain and hopelessness
I shouldn’t have looked for revelation
I should have resigned myself to this
I thought I could change the world around me
I thought I could change the world for best
I thought I was called in convocation
I thought I was sanctified and blessed
But now it strengthens me to know the truth at last
That everything comes from consummation
And everything comes with consequence
And I did it all with exultation
While you did it all with hopelessness
Yes, I did it all with adoration
While you killed it off with all of your holy mess