just a small town troll, living in a lonely hole

Hannah she/her/hers, the Murphy in Murphy's Law

[yourfandomfriend]

I almost reblogged a PSA about not attacking scare actors at haunted houses and hayrides, some of whom are under age. It was a mostly good post, pointing out how dickish it is to hurt people because you think it’s funny.

But op lost me when they started talking softly to the people who do this without meaning to, suggesting that they take precautions like wearing crocs so it hurts less when you kick or keeping your hands in you pockets so you’d be less likely to hit. Giving your phone to a friend so you don’t clock someone with it.

But… my friends. If you’ve ever done this before – like hitting someone for scaring you in a situation you know is simulated because you paid to be let in – maybe the answer isn’t “wear soft shoes”.

Maybe don’t go in the first place.

I know, it’s spooky season and you like to be festive, but if the price of your holiday fun is that you’ll lose control of your actions and probably assault someone, you don’t any need tips and tricks other than “don’t pay people to scare you.” It’s a terrible thing to do to someone and they don’t deserve it. 

Also, I guarantee you they aren’t being paid enough.

[demonsgold]

I am a scare actor, and let me tell you, even some of us don’t go to haunts.

I have an actor friend who won’t even go through our own park’s other scare attractions because she knows she swings if startled right.

There are times when you may experience a reflex never felt before. We understand, we do keep an eye out too. But if you know how you’ll react?

Look into a lights on night, or less scares night, or own up to the fact that this just isn’t for you. Come to the haunt and enjoy the other amenities. Enjoy the atmosphere without risking anyone’s safety. I know of a place that shows stretches of the haunt on camera, so people who have already finished or didn’t go through can watch and laugh at others getting scared.

Haunt actors face enough purposeful harassment without you putting yourself and us at risk. We are human beings under the makeup and masks, we get hurt a lot more than you’d think.

Be conscientious, be kind. Stay home and watch a horror movie.

[schmergo]

So, old folklore tells us that vampires have an innate compulsion to count small objects and that you can thwart them by hurling handfuls of rice at them so that they have to stop and count it. Millet or poppy seeds were placed on the ground at the grave site of a presumed vampire, in order to keep the vampire occupied all night counting.

So there’s the obvious link to the Count from Sesame Street, who loves to count, but I also have a theory about why he resides on Sesame Street in the first place. It would make sense for the street to have derived its name from a bakery or factory that once processed buns with a lot of tiny sesame seeds. What if, hundreds of years ago, the Count was chasing a potential victim who led him down Sesame Street, where he’d be forced to stop and count the sesame seeds, a task that took him years as they kept producing more baked goods. Even after the namesake bakery closed, the Count found the neighborhood environment so welcoming that he decided to stick around.

Echoes of this dark history persist in the lyrics of a traditional ballad still sung in the area: “Sunny day, sweeping the clouds away” refers to the only time safe to venture outside without encountering a vampire. “On my way to where the air is sweet” refers to the bakery that once produced the street’s famous sesame buns. It ends with a plaintive cry for sanctuary: “Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?”

[transmasc-wizard]

friendly reminder you dont have to engage with fuckheads. if a terf or truscum or racist or homophobe or even just a really mean person is engaging with your posts, you don't have to argue. the block button is there for a reason. They want you to give them your energy--the best revenge you can get is saying "nope".

[e-the-village-cryptid]

they want you to interact with them. they thrive off of your reaction, it’s how they recruit. because no matter what you say, they can take some portion of it and twist it to make you look unreasonable and angry, then show it to the people they want to recruit to their ideology. do not debate them. they are not interested in a good-faith argument and you are not going to convince them. just block.

[honey-fire]

My dad was eating pistachios so I reached my hand out and he just started peeling them and giving them to me. Then suddenly went "I really hope you find someone who loves you a lot" and I went "enough to peel my pistachios for me?" And he laughed and said "yeah exactly" before carrying on giving me more

[peopleareaproblem]

The Raincoat

by Ada Limón

When the doctor suggested surgery

and a brace for all my youngest years,

my parents scrambled to take me

to massage therapy, deep tissue work,

osteopathy, and soon my crooked spine

unspooled a bit, I could breathe again,

and move more in a body unclouded

by pain. My mom would tell me to sing

songs to her the whole forty-five minute

drive to Middle Two Rock Road and forty-

five minutes back from physical therapy.

She’d say, even my voice sounded unfettered

by my spine afterward. So I sang and sang,

because I thought she liked it. I never

asked her what she gave up to drive me,

or how her day was before this chore. Today,

at her age, I was driving myself home from yet

another spine appointment, singing along

to some maudlin but solid song on the radio,

and I saw a mom take her raincoat off

and give it to her young daughter when

a storm took over the afternoon. My god,

I thought, my whole life I’ve been under her

raincoat thinking it was somehow a marvel

that I never got wet.

[flebus]

i just think that we live in an age where mainstream media corporations have embraced the concept of “fandom” & so in turn many online fandoms only exist because the people behind the media encourage its existence. 

and i just yearn for something like the onceler fandom, which wholly and truly only existed because a bunch of insane people wanted it to. and this desire was somehow strong enough to keep it going for, like, years. godspeed all you travelers. 

[humofnight]

i love one (1) disaster wizard

[curlicuecal]

It’s a good metaphor tho, because the situation is never going to get better if you don’t eventually pull the door. And afterwards, no matter what the damage was, you’ll have a working cabinet, whatever plates you could salvage, and a place to start putting new plates.

[artbymoga-deactivated20200516]

Reblogging for that comment ^

[starjeweled-alpenglow]

Hats off for negative jokes turned to wholesome posts

[rosarenn]

So this was me for a long time. Afraid to open the door, certain that all that I was would crash and break. That I could never be repaired.

But I opened the door.

And what fell out and crashed to the ground was not me. They weren’t my dishes.

They were other people’s dishes.

Put inside we without my permission, when I was too young to know that I could not hold them all.

I opened the door, and I’m still here.

It turns out, I’m not that fragile.

[randomslasher]

Oh damn it got better

[knight-of-time64-deactivated202]

THANK YOU TWO FOR MAKING OUR LIVES A LITTLE BETTER

[wearesorcerer]

[timetravelonion]

Dark King Grûtmore's Edge of Annihilation implies other Dark Kings with other Edges of Annihilation, but there is only one way to get Throngled

[autismking]

holy shit

[annabelle--cane]

modern adaptation of a midsummer night's dream where the thing about the rude mechanicals continually adding more disclaimers within the dialogue of the play about it all being a performance and them not condoning these actions irl is because they posted their first script draft on twitter and simply took every suggestion for how to make it less problematic that was offered

[cafffine]

bro just add some green onion to that rice dish you’ll be ok. bro? you don’t have any green onion? oh don’t worry bro I saved the butts of my green onions and left them in a cup of water in my sunny kitchen window for a week, and now they are tall and luscious again because growth is inevitable. Here, you can have them bro. I love you.

[mirkandmidnight]

I came back to tumblr just to post this please appreciate it

[mirkandmidnight]

hey folks, so obviously i am not affiliated with ray bans ! sorry for the tags. if you clicked the link on the post, please change your password!

[7172626728388918928292991972-de]

when i was in 3rd grade there was this girl named sydney who was really nice but everyone thought she was weird cause she was obsessed with horses and were kinda mean to her but anyways she let me borrow her aragon books an i could only read like 5 pages of that shit cause it was so boring, and she was like, i know you didnt read my aragon book, i mirror watched you last night and since then ive been absolutely fucking terrified

[7172626728388918928292991972-de]

same year we had a zoo field trip, she and her mom offered to take me so i felt like i had to repay her so  i stole a fuck ton of snacks from everyones lunches while they were feeding the elephants then i asked her mom if we could eat in the canopy zone away from everyone else and i gave them all the snacks & her mom was like “are you a mischievous spirit that my daughter has befriended ??” i was like no im a third grader … right after that they moved. i think its my fault

[mega-bed-deactivated20190401]

They probably watch you occasionally to this day

[7172626728388918928292991972-de]

she fucking better she said she would protect me from imps

[magpiesketches]

Reblog to save a life

[zooophagous]

Note from a graphic designer who has to fix this shit all day: rich black is prettier sure but for the love of the gods don’t use it for text if it’s going on newsprint. If its anything other than solid black it will bleed out and become unreadable.

Half my job is fixing this mistake all day from people who really really should know better. And now you know!

[fridayiminlovemp3]

good morning to bisexuals, halloween enthusiasts, she/theys, community college students, people who shoplift at walmart, goths, eldest daughters, gay baristas who get mean when it’s busy, phoebe bridgers stans, vodka drinkers, men with curly hair, people who listen to classical music on public transit, and professional dog walkers

[sportsnight-deactivated20201211]

[stars-bean]

“He stepped down, trying not to look long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking.”

Keira Knightley in Anna Karenina (2012) dir. Joe Wright