Redemption is Here

Jessie | 23 | FL➳TN |

[podencos]

Word on the street is that everything will be okay

[theliteraryjournals]

The Four Agreements: 1. Be impeccable with your word. 2. Don’t take anything personally. 3. Don’t make assumptions. 4. Always do your best.

Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements (via theliteraryjournals)

[i124you]

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[phylisha-deactivated20231019]

Wow! So magical. Where I wanna be

[boringangel]

is this real!!!!!!!!

[jumpingjacktrash]

totes real. the lawns and fields around northfield looked like that this june. fireflies are making a rebound as pesticide use goes down!

[menpale]

[stariousfalls]

oh hi, thanks for checking in im:

still a piece of garbage

[thelovejournals]

After all, soul mates always end up together.

Cecelia Ahern, Where Rainbows End / Love, Rosie (via thelovejournals)

[uptional]

[jayalvarrez]

We were the kids that did whatever we desired. We traveled the world without our parents consent & did things carelessly. We held our own idea of success instead of what society had for us. Everything’s all mental in life, it’s how you understand your situations and experiences to move onward. I’m edgy, hope it gets under your skin - @jayalvarrez

[vscogold]

[florhalmist]

[inkskinned]

like i get it, it’s frustrating when people who are actually really unaware of mental illness talk to you like that. you know, they get this really uppity tone and say stuff like “you don’t need medication, you need the outdoors!” or they make that face and treat you like you’re contagious or they talk about how, like, they get it, but you need to get over it and it can be really all-consumingly horrible to hear this stuff. when i was a teenager and i really needed help, i heard “this is just what it’s like to be a teenager” “everyone is anxious” “don’t be such an attention whore.” i had (have) five mental illnesses in full blown blue eyes white dragon attack mode. all lovingly untreated. everyone i tried to tell faced me with their idea of “just drink more calcium!” and it …. made me withdraw completely. i needed someone to tell me: hey, kid, i have what you have, it gets better, but here’s some ways that actually can work to help you survive until then. 

which is why when i see positivity here immediately debunked as “neurotypical advice”, i wonder what that means. what it means for 15 year old me, reading that, learning that “you’ll feel better” was a message not meant for people like me. not for people who were sad. “you can feel good” was meant for everybody else, just like always, just like this world was made for everybody else. 

yeah. my gut reaction for a long time to “it is all going to work out” has been “not for me”. but i know somewhere, somebody might actually need to hear that. and the older i get, the more i find myself starting to see myself in all these cliches about survival. give me the kitten hanging off a branch. tell me about how right now sucks but in three years it’ll suck a little less. i need this stuff. 

i kind of think of mental illness as a virus. these things want to use you and your body as a host, your immediate reaction to things that could help you is usually “no.” it makes you want to sit and stew and be sad and let it kill you. it makes you want to roll your eyes because someone said “you can do this.” when you start walking in the opposite direction, your illness fights back. it says all kinds of things. “this isn’t for you” “this will never work” “what do you think you’re doing” “you’ll never be happy again so why bother with any of it.” i learned that life is so much better if you just. keep. walking.

it doesn’t magically make you love advice. i don’t think i’ll ever like “this too shall pass.” i hate that saying so much i want to bite something every time someone says it to me. i think it’s because people said it to me without knowing i was coming back from a funeral; it was inappropriate, unasked for, a cliche that made me feel like i was being scolded for my sadness. it felt like someone was looking down at me and saying “aww…. she thinks this is permanent.” but death is. it infuriated me. 

but i’m at the stage of my life i can see what they were doing. yeah, wrong audience, wrong time, wrong everything. but i know they were just trying to soothe me with words that probably soothed them, once upon a time. and someone told them those words because they worked previously, and so on, and that’s how we get to the bottom of a cliche. it’s because what they were actually saying was “this is me, caring.”

sometimes words won’t work. they’ll feel silly, lazy, a whistle when you need a scream. but i close my eyes and say. sometimes it’s not the words, it’s the person hearing them. and someone might need to hear something silly. 

it’s all just about hope. about passing hope through ourselves so many times we try anything, even words so old they sound thin and frail. 

the other day i saw one of those “you’re valid” posts where beautiful girls look too much unlike me to mean anything. but i found myself smiling. because yeah, okay. i’m my own reason i can’t have nice things.

but i’m learning how to get them back. i’m learning.

[a-joyfuljourney]

[inkskinned]

oh mother  i may not make it back from where beaches are blood and sea    i’m unsteady on my feet and since i was young enough to bite i never bore venom  against those who would cut me    i’m better when i’m fighting for another’s palms, another’s peace, for another person's  other day living     oh mother i know you say i'm  too soft, will curl like bark on trees   but mother  sometimes softness is the act of resistance that other people need   tell the bees, mother,  i think you’ll find they’ll be proud of me - they know the nature of  one dying for many   oh mother i know you want no harm coming  but i asked the clouds too many times why our thoughts and prayers came unsolved and unanswered   one night the moon looked me in the eyes and she said: this world gave you hands and legs and a heart as big as a mountain  so go move something.

Resisting // r.i.d (via inkskinned)

[yourcalicrush]

A relationship with a good flirt to roast ratio>>>

[themotivationjournals]

I want to be around people that do things. I don’t want to be around people anymore that judge or talk about what people do. I want to be around people that dream and support and do things.

Amy Poehler  (via mrsclarkkent)

[babyanimalgifs]

[crystallineknowledge]

Stevie photographed signing autographs backstage at the ‘Sunday Break Festival’ in Austin in 1976.