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My anxiety always fucks everything up for me like I don't know how to get help

Why is everything a joke when we tell our parents something that we think is serious? Me: “Mom I think i’m depressed” Mom: “You don’t even know what that word means stop over reacting, get out of your bad mood”. We as kids try to hard to call out for help but to them it’s nothing serious it’s only a phase and we will get over it. When will a cry for help actually get your attention? When we’re gone? Is it serious now mom and dad?

My voice can be so loud but I don’t use it, I could ask for help but I don’t. I’ve already tried saying something but no one listens. It feels like i’m drowning and there’s a crowd watching me but not helping.

sleepin

Feelings?

I always am stuck with the feeling that i’m never good enough, like everyone else is always the better choice. I have felt this way for so long and maybe it’s because of the build up of my depression that I can’t seem to get out of.. It feels like an endless pit. It’s so sad that faking being happy has become so normal and that my depression and anxiety are now my best friends and when they seem like they are going away I tend to draw them back. I sit around and watch my little brothers who are so filled with joy and happiness and I think to myself that one day that could all go away and at some point it will because everyone hits that point, I just pray that it doesn’t last. I think to myself that the world today is so cruel that people see their only choice is suicide, does that not affect anyone?? Does that not terrify anyone? When are people going to get that what they say hurts people??? One word can drive someone over the edge and you will never know because all you want to do is abuse them, you don’t see how your words affect people when they leave your sight, you don’t see what goes on past the hallways of the school or the mall, and you defiantly don’t see what is hidden behind their computer screen. Why do people think it is okay to hurt people, to tear them down and make them feel worthless. How does that give you joy? People are so quick to judge these days and base people on what they wear, who they hang out with, and what they own that they don’t get to see how great of a person they actually are. People are so scared to go outside of their cliques and find that there are more people in the world who are just like them they just might not look the same or have the same things as you..but what does that matter, why do superficial things have such an important role in today’s society? It’s almost like personalities don’t matter anymore. If you don’t have what others have them FUCK you right? I absolutely am terrified of what the world has become. The world says oh your depressed? Then be happy, you have anxiety? Don’t worry about it. You feel fat? Don’t eat? Too skinny? Eat more. As if those actions are so simple. You can’t just get up one day and automatically jump out of your mental disorder there’s so much more to it than that, and once people realize it maybe depression or anxiety and eating disorders wont exist.

Growing up

It’s really sad that as kids we all thought that the world as we got older would be this big happy place filled with hopes and dreams, and that everything would be okay.... It’s even more sad that that doesn't really happen for people you don't end up living a happy life, and thats scary..

Guys I swear can be the most oblivious people in the world. Like when you have a good girl why would you go and ruin that. You could have the best girl in the world so why go and fuck around and mess with a bunch of girls. It’s like walking past $100 bill to pick up twenty pennies

We live in such a scary and hurtful world. Today’s society based on looks and the people you hang out with. It’s sad to think that just because you don’t hang out with the “in” crowd that you are not considered accepted by today’s society and you are tormented. It’s a miserable world

All I want is to be treated the way I deserve. I don’t want to be lied to or cheated on or disrespected. Isn’t it sad that we wish for things like honesty and loyalty when it should automatically be given in a relationship.

How does someone who said they loved you and cared for you go behind your back and cheat on you? I don’t understand how someone can look you in the eye and lie to your face and say they could never hurt you, but they do it anyways. They say they will never do it again but they go back and do the same shit, but you still stay? Then finally you get the courage to leave and it almost feels worse than it did when they lied to you...

Somehow writing always makes me feel better.

Always have the feeling that people are watching me swim but I feel like i’m drowning..

How do you let go of something that is a part of you? Being with someone changes your whole life it makes you see things you didn’t before. When you are with someone you make memories that you could never forget. Then you loose them... your world starts to crumble from beneath you and you fall. It feels like you will never get out. So how do you let go? How do you get out? How do you get better again?

I've been doing so good for such a long time but I can slowly feel myself going downhill

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