â iwa-chan, are you my mom? â oikawa cuts in quickly, tossing a look in his direction with practiced precision before turning his gaze back to the darkening sky. â â and  that was one time. â
    honestly, he has one near death experience and iwaizumi chastises him every time he so much as thinks about straining himself. makes it seem like oikawa is always reckless about his physical wellness when it comes to achieving a goal or something.
    constellations start to peak through the evening and he very nearly stops himself from actually greeting them aloud like he does on the rare occasion that he finds himself on the astronomy tower alone.Â
his fingers uncurl from around the railing and smooth over his thighs, trying to stifle his rekindling excitement. the meteor shower wonât start for another two hours or so but that doesnât bother him any. clear nights like this, when he isnât subject to the company of less pleasant company and the task of completing an corresponding assignment are so rare. this is one of his favourite parts, too â watching the slow dimming of day and dull spread of darkness like the sky is opening up to the entire galaxy and it is welcoming him home. nothing is quite equivalent â there are maybe three things that come close: the first time he flew on a broom, the vastness of the ocean, and when he does something that makes iwaizumi smile without meaning to.
     â tell me something, iwa-chan, â oikawa says, wistfully, a while later when the last sign of daylight has finally disappeared over the horizon and the constellations have just started to form in earnest.Â
by something he means anything at all; this is a game theyâve been playing forever. oikawa had started it that first day, their first year, on the train.Â
he keeps his eyes trained to the sky, knowing that his neck will be sore tomorrow and so used to the feeling that he doesnât care in the slightest. the longer he looks, the more stars become visible as his eyes adjust. he starts to map out the easier constellations out of habit alone, checking them off his mental list subconsciously. if he was alone heâd use the telescope but given his preference to the steady warmth a couple inches to his right, he stays right where he is, content.
  it doesnât matter to iwaizumi if the occasion only happened once, it was enough of a shock to make him worry about oikawa for months after it happened, even after heâd assured everyone that he was fine. even after he was required to meet with a specialist from st.mungoâs to make sure he was in the right state of mind. iwaizumi still worries about him even now, maybe to a lesser degree, but he still worries. which is one of the reasons why he spends so much time with oikawa up here, to make sure that he doesnât try to kill himself again. oikawa might think that it was an incident to shrug shoulders at but iwaizumi doesnât.
    iwaizumi tears his eyes away from oikawa and directs them to the stars in the sky. after nearly six years of coming up to the astronomy tower he can pick out some constellations himself. even though itâs not what heâs interested in, he pays attention whenever oikawa points one out, when he rambles on for hours about what they mean or who discovered them. he files it all away, and even now if he remembers a group of them or a specific star that oikawa begins to talk about heâll pretend not to know.Â
  listening to oikawa talk about the stars is one of iwaizumiâs favorite things, not because of the content but because he loves to see how excited he gets, to see the sparkle in his eyes every single time he finds one.
  it brings him from his thoughts, glancing over at the boy beside him. tell me something, iwa-chan. there are so many things that he wants to tell him and so many things that he wants to do too. but there isnât a time or a place for any of those things.
   for a gryffindor heâs a coward, he canât even bring himself to admit his feelings for someone that heâs known his entire time at school. this would be a perfect chance to tell him too, itâs been years and itâs just the two of them in a place where they know they wonât be interrupted. but does he take that chance? does he go for it and admit whatâs been eating him up inside? or would it be better to try and forget about it like heâd been trying to do for the better part of a year?
    his hands twitch where his arms rest over the railing preventing them from falling to their deaths. in the back of his mind he wonders if reaching over and kissing him like heâs wanted to do for five years is saying something or if itâs just intrusive â he decides on intrusive.
   his fingers tangle themselves together, eyes returning to look at the stars in the sky. tonight is not the night for kissing or admitting feelings to best friends, that night will never come and he feels his heart sink and break in his chest at the thought. itâs not like oikawa would be interested in him anyhow, so heâs really protecting himself. he doesnât mind being miserable as long as it means heâll still be able to be oikawaâs best friend.
  the silence lasts longer than heâd like it too. iwaizumi worries his bottom lip between his teeth, the possible things to tell him mulling over in his head. there arenât many things that oikawa doesnât know about iwaizumi anyway, there isnât much that he doesnât know to begin with. heâs intelligent, and he seems to know about so many people because heâs such a perceptive person. but there is one thing that he hasnât told him â that he hasnât told anyone. âiâve decided to become an auror..â