dirt enthusiast

blake kathryn
AnasAbdin
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
taylor price
No title available

tannertan36
almost home
Peter Solarz
will byers stan first human second
i don't do bad sauce passes
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
tumblr dot com
h
🪼
DEAR READER
Cosmic Funnies
One Nice Bug Per Day
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
No title available
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from China

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye

seen from United States
seen from Malaysia

seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
@mistytheghost
this might piss some people off but I don’t think some of you actually ever tried to unlearn your hatefulness. you just came out as queer and decided your new targets really truly deserve it this time.
you. you get it.
*at a family gathering* you’re all like coworkers to me
horror movie showing a child’s drawing of the monster or ghost or whatever but instead of a little kid and crayons they’re like a preteen and it’s manga style
noticed my coworker was on tumblr so i told them “i like your shoelaces” and they said “never say that out loud to me”
this is the correct response btw
in fucking Tears thinking about how disgusting a baby griffin would look
behold. my ugly son.
Species accurate version
wretched little creature
i love!!! food!!! i love being alive and getting to eat delicious things!!! i love sourdough bread and sharp cheddar cheese and blackberry jam. i love custard buns so hot they almost burn your mouth and soup dumplings with sesame seeds toasted on. i love tea with milk and honey and tiny chewy matcha mochis, and i love salty pistachios right out of the shell. i love smoked fish and cured meat and the infinite variety of Stuff To Put On Rice. i LOVE food and love that i get to eat it. eating multiple times a day every single day forever, however, is a sadistic trap.
let's cook with mama!
let's sell our product with mama!
let's kill this fucking guy with mama!
generally speaking, the cooler and better your offline political activities are, the more important it becomes that you do not post about it on your personal social media acconts
My boyfriend was showing me his cat and I leaned over to kiss the cat on his soft little baby head and he went "meow" and scrambled away because I'd been wearing my headphones and I accidentally jabbed him with the microphone.
And I said "Damn, this is exactly like in the Iliad"
#explanation: this references the scene where Hektor the prince of troy goes to his wife after a battle and leans in to kiss his son #(who is still a baby and being held in andromache's arms) #but his son cringes away in fear of his father's battle helmet #it's a gut wrenching scene about how war dehumanizes you and separates you from the people you love #this interpretation implies that being a gamer is analogous
Absolutely bonkers that I'm now one of those weirdos you hear about on Twitter
I committed to the bit so hard that I also committed misdemeanor impersonation of a government official
Women with big curly red hair always have like 12 gay guy friends why is that
INCREDIBLE response
if you pitched goncharov vs the dangerous crow boy (who destroys plastic) alongside one another to an outside person and asked them to choose which one was a tumblr fever dream and which one was a real thing published in the real world. i do not think they would choose correctly
When I was a teenager and still on Neopets I was part of a pretty big Star Trek guild and eventually became part of its council, with the solemn duty of creating weekly polls. Well one day I created the poll "Which would win in a fight? Borg Cube or Death Star?". Naturally, since this was a Star Trek guild, the answer was overwhelmingly "Borg Cube", but someone did have the rationality to point out we were biased.
So I look up a pretty prominent Star Wars guild and message one of their council and ask them to poll the same question and get back to me in a week. They do, and naturally the fuckin geeks said "Death Star".
So then I look up a Stargate guild and messaged the lead council member, saying the same thing, and they get back to me almost immediately saying that the Death Star would immediately one-shot a Borg Cube but they would never be able to do it again to another Cube. And I took that wisdom back to my guild and we were mollified, and for one moment the Nerd World was peaceful.
Truly thrilled to finally find this post on my dash.
Me, trying to impress my date with a display of my boundless humility: I would like to order one single, solitary crumb.
Waitress taking my order: Such arrogance! Not only do you presume to boast under the guise of being humble, but your order employs the most decadent of linguistic excesses - the tautology!
My date, who until recently thought "tautology" referred to the study of tensile strengths and upon learning her mistake compensated by reading through its Wikipedia article: That would be more correctly identified as a "pleonasm".
The editor I hired to curate my posts who styles himself as a sort of scheming court advisor: My liege, this one is getting away from us. The punchline loses much of its impact when the rest of the joke is derailed by this increasingly self-indulgent meta humour. Were it up to me, your Grace, which of course it is not, I would cut the others and leave myself as the only supporting character. You need noone else, Your Majesty...
My card: Declines
you're not allowed to bring wireless devices into classified areas and a security guy noticed a square phone-ish shape in my pocket so he asked me to show him what it was and i had to show him my can of pocket herring :/
artists depiction of event