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a future without you

MARC SPECTOR X READER , IMPLIED STEVEN GRANT AND JAKE LOCKLEY X READER

prompt : marc lost you to the snap and after 5 years of dealing with his grief by maiming people, he finally gets you back.

wow i finally finished a fic after so long! i’m so sorry for the wait, i just thought of a bunch of concepts that i couldn’t finish but eventually i came up with this after rewatching infinity war and endgame so, i hope it’s worth the wait!

likes and reblogs appreciated as always <3

warnings : angst. like, wow, angst. some fluff at the end though cause this is hurt/comfort so dont worry too much. some violence but nothing too graphic

bold is jake , steven is italics

word count : 3218

masterlist

It’s been 5 years since the snap. 5 years since the Avengers lost and half of the entire universe was dusted away. Yet Marc still remembers it far too vividly. Well, how can he not when the memory of you fading, turned to dust, haunts his every night and when he wakes up, the wound feels fresh every time.

The nightmare started with Marc who was coming home from a certain job and after months of being away from you, all he wanted to do was to hug and kiss you to his heart's content.

Marc walked into the kitchen, where you stood faced away from him as you were cooking something with headphones on which would explain why you didn’t hear Marc coming in. He saw this as an opportunity to surprise you as you weren’t informed of his coming home. So, with a mischievous smirk on his face, he approached you and wrapped his arms around your waist from behind.

You scream and swiftly turn yourself, facing your boyfriend who was trying his hardest to stifle his laughter. Then you yell at him for a little while, telling Marc that he shouldn’t scare you like that ever again and Marc only stared at you fondly. He never realized how much he missed your nagging until he had to be away from it for months.

Eventually, though, Marc got sick of your babbling and would shut you up by pressing his lips to yours. You then struggled for a while as you tried to resist his charming move, but realized that there was no use in doing so and kissed back. The kiss lasted for a minute, maybe two with Marc smiling in between kisses and you doing the same thing.

You missed Marc and Marc missed you a whole lot more.

After the kiss ended, Marc wrapped his arms around your waist and placed his chin on your shoulder, breathing in the scent of your shampoo, and just bathing in your presence.

And then, in a second, you were gone.

Marc stumbled forward as you suddenly disappeared from his grasp and all that was left was dust on the sleeves of his white hoodie and other specks fluttering around the air. Marc felt his heart drop and frantically looked around the room for any sign of you. He called your name, searched every corner but found nothing but Khonshu sitting on the window ledge, staring outside.

"What did you do?" He asked the god. Khonshu didn't respond, he didn't even break his gaze to look at Marc. “I said, what did you do?!” Marc yelled at Khonshu to answer him and again, the god didn't respond. Frustrated, Marc stomped over to the tall bird to at least see what had gotten him so distracted. His eyes widened at the sight.

Chaos.

It was chaos everywhere as people ran from a danger that Marc could not see just yet, cars crashed into each other, everywhere he turned he could hear screams of panic and cries of anguish, and then a plane came crashing into a building. But Marc’s focus wasn’t on any of that. Marc’s eyes landed on a couple who were running away from the collapsing building only for one of them to dissolve into dust a few seconds later.

Dust.

No. No, no, no, no.

Marc began running from room to room calling out your name, hoping, just hoping that he had been hallucinating, hoping that the dust was just leftovers from his latest mission, hoping that all of this was nothing but an illusion.

But you were nowhere to be found. There were only the remains of the dust spread around the kitchen, some of it still on his hoodie sleeves. The grief hit him like a truck. He dropped to the ground, hands tightly wrapped around himself, and he cried. He cried, and he sobbed, and he wailed as the TV that you had left on broadcasted the Avenger's loss. Everyone’s loss.

That would be where the nightmare ended if it was just any normal nightmare. But no, that was a reality, a memory. Something that stuck to Marc’s mind to this day, enough to give him those nightmares every night only for him to wake up and have to live in a world where you don’t exist.

When everything got too much, Steven took over and when Marc does front, he’s out killing whoever Khonshu told him to kill with nothing holding him back this time. He does it all with ease, taking out his anger and his grief on these people who he thought deserved it. You would’ve thought differently. But you weren’t here to stop him.

5 years went by agonizingly slow but a lot has happened since then. Marc got married to a woman he didn’t love and got divorced, Steven found out about him, they both found out about Jake, he kept being Moon Knight, and his kill count got higher and higher. Not even Steven nor Jake could do anything about it because no matter how many times they try to convince him to move on, he would get angry. They weren’t the ones who experienced your gentle kisses, your warm hugs, your comfortable presence, your loving gaze. They weren’t the ones left with memories of you and they will never understand his grief and his loss.

Marc-

“Shut up, I don’t wanna hear it.”

Today was one of those nights where Marc was the one to take over for Moon Knight duty instead of Jake and he was throwing punch after punch towards this man that he had been assigned to. Khonshu never said anything about killing him but after knowing the moon god for quite some time, he didn’t need to say anything for Marc to understand.

You’re gonna kill him

“Yeah, that’s the plan.”

Marc, this would be your 5th kill this week

“So, fucking, what?” The man had passed out, his face bloodied and bruised but yet the hits never stop coming, the noise in Marc’s head making him even more frustrated than before. What do they know? They weren’t the ones who woke up from another replay of the snap, why are they trying to stop him? If they knew how his heart ached every time, they’d understand why he was doing all of this and they wouldn’t even try to stop him.

Once the man’s breathing stopped, everything was silent. Marc was gasping for breath, wheezing and panting despite the ‘fight’ only being Marc punching the crap out of this man who probably had a family. That’s when he realized that his being out of breath wasn’t from the fight, but from the tears that fell out of his eyes like a river, never stopping as he sobbed and wailed once more in front of the dead body of a man he had mercilessly taken the life of.

Let me take over for the rest of the night, Marc.

This time, he didn’t argue.

-

Then, the blip.

Marc was on another mission when it happened, this time trying his best to refrain from killing anyone. After that massive breakdown, he decided that he didn’t want that life anymore. He still had a few fights along the way but he moved through it all with ease as he moved from room to room, trying to find the items that Khonshu had demanded he get.

When he does find what he was looking for, the room was surprisingly empty with only the artifacts standing in the middle. Suspicious but okay, Marc could handle an ambush easily, he’d done it multiple times, and he could do it again.

But then, as he stepped one foot into the empty space, he immediately stumbled back as people seemingly appeared out of thin air. They all looked lost, startled, and disorientated with their mouths taped and hands tied behind their back. Marc raised a brow behind the mask but before he could ask one of the people snapped out of their thoughts and landed their gaze on him. They start to wriggle and struggle with their restraints, their frantic breathing and terrified screams muffled under the tape.

Marc paid that no mind however as he was still trying to figure out what the fuck had just happened cause one moment he was kicking criminal ass and then the next, a bunch of hostages just appeared out of thin air, dazed and panicked. Speaking of said hostages, Marc forcibly reminded himself of their existence and swiftly freed them one by one by using his moon blade to cut the rope and letting them rip the tape from their mouths themselves.

Neither of them hesitated to run and only one had stopped to say thank you but again, Marc cared not for the blatant rudeness of the other people as his mind was racing a million miles per second. Questions ran in his head and he found no answers. Did the criminals find some sort of substance that could make someone invisible for a bit of time? Were these people some part of an experiment? No, those people didn’t look like white coats. Or maybe they-

And then his burner phone rang.

A familiar ringtone sounded through the now-empty building, a ringtone that he only set for one person and one person only. He didn’t realize he’d brought his burner phone with him. Marc felt his heart drop to his stomach as the tune of “Can’t Sleep Love” echoed throughout the room and slowly, his eyes moved towards the direction of his phone that he had safely kept tucked somewhere in the suit and his hands shook as he went to grab it.

He hesitated to flip it open. His hands were trembling as he held the device in his hands and he didn’t know if it was out of anger that someone dared to pull this trick on him, or if it was out of fear of the hope that was bubbling in his chest. Could it be…? No. No, it couldn’t be you, could it? But what if it was? Marc thought as the phone continued to ring in his hands.

He shook his head. No, that was impossible, Marc reminded himself. You were gone. But then who else would it be? You were the only person who knew of the secret storage box containing your burner phone, heck not even Marc knew where it was.

And then the phone stopped ringing and for a second, Marc felt something akin to despair when it didn’t ring a second time. He thought maybe someone had just come across it, that was all.

But then it did and the same song is resonating within the room, sounding much louder in Marc’s ears than it actually did. This time, Marc didn’t hesitate. He immediately flipped the phone open and put it close to his ear.

Then he waited.

He waited because no words could come out of his mouth and at that exact moment he was preparing himself for the worst. Marc didn’t want to hope. He shouldn’t, he knew he shouldn’t because this could very much be some random stranger who happened to come across your secret burner phone, and the possibilities of it being you are near to zero and-

“Marc? Are you there?”

You spoke and it was so very much your voice that Marc felt his entire world stop the moment it came through the phone’s speakers. It was you, there was no doubt it was you with the way you said his name, your tone soft and familiar, so, so, very familiar but confused. Marc was even more confused but the overwhelming feeling of joy and hope and so much more bubbling up inside him easily drowned out any negative thoughts swimming in his head. You called his name again and Marc realized he’d been quiet for a concerning amount of time, god, you were probably starting to get worried.

So, he swallowed the building saliva in his mouth and gathered as much of his composure as he could.

“Baby?” It was all Marc could say, the term of endearment coming out in barely a whisper and he hoped it was loud enough for you to hear.

“Oh so you can hear me, good, I thought this thing was broken.” You said and again, your voice brought the once lost warmth back into his previously cold heart. “Where are you and why are there strangers in our apartment? They yelled at me thinking I was an intruder when clearly, they were the intruders here and then threatened to get security to kick me out I mean, can you believe the audacity of- Marc?”

Without him realizing it, Marc had been crying into the phone. God, he missed your loud mouth so fucking much. His tears dropped into the concrete ground as he sobbed, completely ignoring your worried call from the other side.

For once, Marc was finally crying out of pure joy and relief and it seemed unbelievable. This all seemed like a dream for him like the universe was playing tricks on him as it always did. But somehow, hearing you right now as you nagged at him for not responding to you, he knew. He knew this was real.

-

After Marc has finished his little crying session, he quickly changed back into his normal civilian clothes and started to bolt towards yours and his old apartment. Marc had moved out after a year of living there without you because of the painful memories and it seemed someone else had moved in which had confused you when he told you but he knew he’ll have all the time in the world to explain everything when he noticed all the news anchors around the city announcing the return of the dusted. He ran as fast as he could and luckily for him, he wasn’t too far away because he turned to one last corner, he stopped dead in his tracks.

There you stood, looking as beautiful as ever under the moonlit sky with your attention on your phone so you didn’t notice him staring longingly at you. It was like Marc was hit with a sense of deja vu. Your clothes were still the same as it was when you disappeared, your hair was still the same length, your face never changed or aged and it made Marc’s heart ache as memories of that day came crashing down on him once more.

But then you turned to him and Marc’s worries and fears all disappeared in an instant. He rushed towards you and pulled you into a bone-crushing hug. “Marc, what the hell-” You wheezed out but when you heard Marc’s sobbing and his chants of “God, It’s really you, it’s you, you’re real, you’re here.” It made your heart break for him. One of your arms came wrapping around Marc’s torso, returning the hug while the other went up to his head. You soothed him with your soft voice, assured him that you were there, and made sure that he knew that you were real by keeping your fingers tangled in his hair.

Marc continued to cry as you do this, relief washing over him like a tsunami of emotions. He couldn’t believe it but your presence right now felt more real than it has ever felt in so long. God, he had missed you so much, this warmth, this comfort, this love that he hadn’t felt in so long is back and it was overwhelming but so very welcomed.

He hesitantly pulled away to scan your face and then proceeded to pepper kisses to every corner from your nose to your cheeks, and your eyelids, which made you squawk at him to stop but he didn’t cause he hadn’t been able to do this for so long and now that he could, he didn’t want to stop no matter how much you complain.

Eventually, you push him away and Marc was about to start pouting before you grabbed at the collar of his shirt and pulled him into a deep kiss.

This kiss was different than the one you both shared 5 years ago. This kiss was full of longing, full of need from Marc who hadn’t felt the gentle touch of your lips on his for far too long. The salty taste of the tears on his lips didn’t make him pull away at all, and it seemed like it didn’t bother you either as you continued to hold him close.

You and he needed the oxygen though so you eventually pulled away but Marc kept you at a very close distance. He cupped your face gently in his hands and pressed your forehead to his, basking in your presence and reeling it all in. Marc could smell your perfume, could feel the texture of your skin, could still taste your strawberry flavored chapstick on his lips, your breathing against his skin, and eventually, he felt grounded enough to pull back.

He probably looked gross right now with all the snot coming out of his nose and tears still pooling in his eyes and raining down his face but you didn’t care about any of that as your hands went up to wipe his tears away. “They told me about the snap back at the apartment. I’m sorry I was away for so long.” You said and Marc shook his head. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t need to apologize.

He voiced these thoughts to you and you smiled fondly at him. “I know it isn’t but still,” Your hands came up to hold Marc’s face. “You look like you’ve been through hell.” You pointed out which made a wet chuckle come out of Marc. It was so much more than just ‘hell’. He’d gladly pick that over reliving the past 5 years.

“Something like that,” Marc said, his eyes never looking away from yours.

You both stand like that for a little while more, just so Marc could get himself together before you got tired of standing around and asked Marc to take you home already. Marc smirked and then proceeded to lift you with one hand under your knee and the other on your back. You screamed and then quickly looped your arms around his neck to keep yourself from falling. “Warn me before you do that next time you jerk!” You exclaimed and then gave a light slap to his chest. Marc didn’t respond and only smiled like an idiot as he carried you bridal style back to their apartment.

Once back home, Marc introduced you to both Steven and Jake and if he felt a twinge of jealousy when Steven gawked at you and Jake kissed the back of your palm then, well, that’s for future Marc to handle.

Cause now, as Marc sits beside you on his ratty old couch with your hand clenched tightly in his, he stares at the TV screen announcing the Avenger's victory against Thanos, he knows that he can now have a future. A future with you and maybe, possibly one involving the other two as well. Marc turns towards you and smiles.

Guess he has some heroes to thank for this.

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