MK Safety Net Canada

MK Safety Net Canada is a resource and advocacy organization for Canadian MK's, TCK's and others hurt or damaged by their experiences within mission focused communities. We also advocate for changes in the child protection policies and practices of mission agencies. We call for mission agencies and their supporting churches to establish justice and healing, especially in those cases where the church has wounded its own children.

[retaildesignblog]

MDCK child abuse multidisciplinary centre by All-In Living, Hoofddorp – Netherlands

MDCK child abuse multidisciplinary centre by All-In Living, Hoofddorp – Netherlands

MDCK is the first child abuse multidisciplinary centre located in Spaarne Gasthuis hospital. It’s a help centre where all rescuers are brought together under one roof. When a child is faced with a traumatic experience, such as maltreatment or abuse, it has to go through a daunting process: unpleasant examinations and treatments at the hospital, conversations with police, justice, psychiatrists…

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[iamatck]

The trouble with third culture kids

“The layers of loss run deep:  Friends, community, pets.  Family, toys, language.  Weather, food, culture.  Loss of identity.  Loss of a place of comfort, stability, a safe and predictable world.  Home.

These children are losing the worlds they love, over and over.  They cycle through the stages of grief each time they move – or they don’t, and push it down, submerge it, only to have it bubble up later in life, unexplained.

The grief of children is often invisible.  They are told they will adapt, they are resilient.  They are told they’ll get over missing that friend, they’ll get another pet, they’ll have a nicer room in the new house.  Their family is rushed; they don’t have time to mourn their losses.

And they are children, and don’t know how to express what they are feeling.

Some mental health professionals call it trauma.

Kathleen Gilbert has researched grief among TCKs, and writes, “Losses that are not successfully resolved in childhood have an increased likelihood of recurring in adulthood… For TCKs, questions about who they are, what they are, where they are from, what and who they can trust are examples of existential losses with which they must cope.  And the way in which they process these losses will change, or may even wait until long after their childhood.”

- See more at: http://www.cmhnetwork.org/media-center/morning-zen/the-trouble-with-third-culture-kids#sthash.QBVkjO6u.dpuf

[threewillows-blog]

[mksafetynetcanada]

Reader's Guide to Pii’s ABWE and Donn Ketcham Investigations Final Report

Prepared by MK Safety Net Canada

Due to the imposing nature of the almost-300 page document summarizing Pii’s investigation, MK Safety Net Canada has compiled a summary guide to assist people in grasping the basics of what is contained in the larger document. It’s important to note that each person has different priorities, different things they regard as crucial. This guide can’t account for everybody’s priorities in the report, but is a basic outline of what the broadest population might find pertinent.

It is our hope this will enable more people (who otherwise could not access the whole report) to understand the abuse Donn Ketcham committed, how ABWE protected him, and the remarkable resilience of the victims/survivors who ensured an independent investigation was launched and completed.

http://bit.ly/1Zy4Kdp

[mksafetynetcanada]

Pondering's of an MK Girl

By R.E. Friesen Little MK girl: Why am I here at school?
 Dorm parent: So your mommy can help save the people for Jesus.
 Little MK girl: Can’t she do that if I am at home with her?
 Dorm parent: She needs to concentrate on her work. You would be a distraction.
 Little MK girl: I miss her, why can’t I tell her that I don’t want to be here? Doesn’t she love me anymore?
 Dorm parent: She needs to concentrate on her work. You would be a distraction. You need to write positive things so that she can do her work for Jesus. 
 Little MK girl: But I want to go home!!!
 Dorm parent: She needs to concentrate on her work. You need to write positive things so that she can do her work for Jesus. You have to rewrite this letter and you cannot go play until you are done. 
Little MK girl: But I want to go home!!!
 Dorm parent: Jesus wants you here so you need to rewrite the letter. 
Little MK girl: Yes ma’am. 
In unison: Pass the collection plate. Little MK girl: Those big kids stuffed me down the laundry chute and I was there for a long time. It was dark and scary!!!
 Dorm parent: Your mom needs to concentrate on her work. You would be a distraction. You need to write positive things so that she can do her work for Jesus. 
 Little MK girl: But I want to go home!!!
 Dorm parent: She needs to concentrate on her work. You need to write positive things so that she can do her work for Jesus. You have to rewrite this letter and you cannot go play until you are done.
 Little MK girl: But I want to go home!!!
 Dorm parent: Jesus wants you here so you need to rewrite the letter. 
 In unison: Pass the collection plate. Principal: Why did you tell your parents your brother should go home? Jesus will not be happy with you. You should not have done that.
 Young girl: He was crying all the time and he needed to go home. 
 Principal: You have set him back a long ways. His school career will be damaged. 
 Young girl: He was crying all the time and he needed to go home. 
 Principal: We don’t have to let him back in, you know. 
 Young girl: Good.
 Dorm Parent: Jesus will not be happy with you. We are going to read your letters from now on.
 In unison: Pass the collection plate. Young lady: I want to complete high school in three years so I can go home to be with my parents.
 School administrator: You need to do it in four years. How else can we keep the school running unless Missions pays us for the students?
 Young lady: I want to finish in three years so I can go home to be with my parents. I have been here since I was six. I want to go home.
 School administrator: You need to do it in four years. Jesus will not be happy with you.
 In unison: Be generous when the collection plate comes by. The school needs you. Young Lady: Why do I have to go back to the states? I have only been home for four months!!
 Parent: Missions has cut back our support and we can’t feed you. You should not have graduated a year early. We only get support for your siblings now, not you. 
 Young Lady: But I want to spend time with you. I have not spent much time here since I was six. 
 Parent: Your grandmother will help you find a job. You need to support yourself. 
 Young Lady: But I want to spend time with you. I have not spent much time here since I was six. 
 Parent: We can’t keep you here. You have to go. 
In unison: Remember to tithe. Young Lady: It is so cold here at college. Why did I come here?
 College administrator: We are so happy to have you and your payments from Missions for your schooling.
 Young Lady: I miss my parents and my siblings. 
 College administrator: We are so happy to have you and your payments from Missions for your schooling. Which mission field are you going to work towards?
 Young Lady: I thought I would do a Bachelor of Theology. Not sure about Missions.
 College administrator: You need to do the Bachelor of Christian Education, much better for a young lady. Did you notice all of the cute young men here? They would love to marry someone like you who has been pretrained for missions. 
 Young Lady: All right, I will do the Bachelor of Christian Education.
 College administrator: Good choice. Jesus will be happy with that choice. 
 In unison: Remember to tithe. Jesus would like gifts over your tithe too. Young Lady: I met a wonderful man and I want to marry him. Do I have your permission?
College Dean: I know this man. He is a trouble maker. 
 Young Lady: But I love him, he is a good Christian and he loves me. 
 College Dean: I know this man. You would be making a mistake if you marry him. You should go to Missions. 
 Young Lady: This will be my last semester here. 
 College Dean: You are making a mistake. Don’t marry this man. 
 In unison: Pass the collection plate. Be generous. Young mother: My son was just born and I would like to have the announcement in Alliance Life. 
 Alliance Life: Neither you nor your husband are on our rolls as professional Christians, therefore we cannot do that.
 Young mother: But I was at boarding school since I was six, doesn’t that count. 
 Alliance Life: Neither you nor your husband are on our rolls as professional Christians, therefore we cannot do that.
 Young mother: But they told me at boarding school that I was doing God’s work and what I was doing was just as important as my mom and dad. I don’t understand. 
 Alliance Life: You should have gone into Missions.
 In unison: Pass the collection plate. Subscribe to Alliance Life. We need your money. Husband of young mother: I don’t understand why you cannot help us. My wife is having a breakdown because she left home at six. 
 Missions administrator: I know lots of people who don’t have those issues who were at boarding school. There must be something else wrong with her.
 Husband of young mother: Every MK that I saw at Bible College was messed up in some way. What about those people?
 Missions administrator: I know lots of people who don’t have those issues who were at boarding school. There must be something else wrong with her. You are wrong.
 Husband of young mother: I am NOT wrong. I am living this pain with her. She is dreaming about boarding school every night. That is not normal. 
 Missions administrator: She must not have a good relationship with her father. That is the root of this problem. 
 Husband of young mother: How can she have a relationship with her father if she left home at six?
 Missions administrator: Work on that relationship and everything will be fine. Jesus loves you. 
 In unison: Pass the collection plate. Support our missionaries. Be generous. Parent: What did you say to my boss? 
Young mother: My husband was asking questions and looking for some moral support for me. Why?
 Parent: My boss called me and told me to keep you in line. You are causing trouble. 
 Young mother: It was my husband. He is trying to help. He loves me
 Parent: You need to tell him to stop whatever he is doing. He is causing us trouble.
 In unison: Pass the collection plate. Support our missionaries. Be generous. Church administration: We apologize to our MKs. Some of them possibly, should not have gone to boarding school. You need to forgive us, so we will be right with Jesus. 
 Middle aged MK: What does this mean?
 Church administration: We will give you a little bit of money for counseling, if you sign this 20 page document that absolves us of all responsibility and you promise not to sue us. Jesus loves you and has a great plan for your life. 
 Parent: But you had a great education. You should forgive them. 
 Middle aged MK: Didn’t you hear the maid at the dorm? She said I should never have been there. I cried myself to sleep every night. 
 Parent: But you had a great education. You should forgive them. 
 In unison: Pass the collection plate. Support our missionaries. Be generous.

[mksafetynetcanada]

I am only fifty pages into reading The ABWE and Donn Ketcham Investigations Final Report but am already at a loss for words to appropriately describe my revulsion and anger at reading how the leadership of ABWE self-servingly mishandled the glaring and unmistakable evidence of Ketcham's crimes. Two thoughts at this point: 1) is there need for any further evidence for rational people to call for purportedly Christian organizations to immediately distance themselves from the patriarchal paradigm of leadership and management that still prevails in many corners of fundagelicalism? 2) To those who would immediately if foolishly run for the cover of a traditional interpretation of Scripture's "clarity" on that discussion, I simply say to you - if you want to bring Scriptural clarity into the discussion, then have the intellectual decency to answer me this: How does one taking such a stance even begin to think such an argument has any merit whatsoever in light of the ABWE leadership's persistent turning a blind eye to an engregious violation of Ephesians 5:3: "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity...?" THAT'S CLARITY!. It is long past time that North American fundagelicalism immediately repent of and cease its selective reading/interpretation/self-serving application of the "clarity of the Bible" spin! Tim W. Callaway, Chairman MK Safety Net Canada

[mksafetynetcanada]

Promises of change

Promises of Change Are Not Evidence of Change: On ABWE, the Pii Report, and Christianity Today https://shar.es/1dbyy1 via

[paulspassingthoughts]

ABWE Missionary Kids Recap

“In all of this, the MKs have dragged ABWE’s dead corpse to a decrepit alter of repentance, but thereby preventing untold additional sorrow.”

[mksafetynetcanada]

A GREEN DOT is one action in a single moment. One choice...one empowering act anyone can make.

[mksafetynetcanada]

Bystanders Acts of trauma or violence often have bystanders who are witness to the warning sides of abuse and its escalation. GREEN DOT empowers bystanders by teaching individuals to recognize red dot behaviour. We all have been witness to situations where we sense something just isn't right. Through GREEN DOT training bystanders learn effective ways to address barriers that prevent taking action, and provide safe options for intervention.

[mksafetynetcanada]

What are Red Dots? A red dot is any choice someone makes to use words or actions to harm another. Whatever form it takes, someone is hurt as a result.

[mksafetynetcanada]

Violence is NOT Inevitable Green Dot is a way of looking at the problem of violence with hope that it can be solved, and that we all have a role to play in solving it. The numbers are on our side: most people don’t want the next act of violence to take place. As individuals, we have the power to influence our friends, family, coworkers, and the world around us, one green dot at a time. It is not enough to raise awareness or to respond to violence after it occurs. We can each take action in the lives we are already living. http://www.greendothomer.org/

[mksafetynetcanada]

What is the purpose of the green dot initiative? With the ultimate goal of preparing organizations/communities to implement a strategy of violence prevention that consistently, measurably reduces power-based personal violence (including sexual violence, domestic violence, dating violence, stalking, child abuse, elder abuse and bullying), Green Dot, etc. works toward two primary objectives. http://www.livethegreendot.com/

[vandalgreendot]

Green Dot is empowerment -Annie Gaines

[mksafetynetcanada]

“You have permission to walk away from anything that doesn’t feel right. Trust your instincts and listen to your inner-voice — it’s trying to protect you.” Bryant McGill

[vandalgreendot]

“A green dot is any behavior‚ choice‚ word‚ or attitude that promotes safety for everyone and communicates utter intolerance for rape, partner violence and stalking. A green dot is intervening in a high risk situation – a green dot is talking to your friends about how you feel about violence on campus – a green dot is posting green dots on your Facebook page – a green dot is hanging a prevention poster in your room – a green dot is wearing your green dot gear– a green dot is putting a link on your website to your local prevention program - a green dot is organizing a training for your campus organization. A green dot is simply your individual choice at any given moment to make our campus safer.”

So, what’s your green dot?

[uksparc-blog]

Based on the nationally acclaimed program, our Green Dot overview provides students with the skills necessary to be active bystanders on campus and beyond. By empowering students to stop or prevent violence, we demystify what it means to be an active bystander and encourage students to create a safer community.

Throughout the program, we explain various routes of intervening and end with an activity where students explore which method they may use in “real life” situations. We also cover proactive green dots, and how students can work to create a culture of nonviolence on campus.

[greendotsmcm]

We are a community, and every individual in the community can help keep our campus safe. It may seem small, or insignificant at the time, but every time you intervene you are contributing to something big and beautiful. 

To all of the folks out there who do Green Dots (Direct, Distract, Delegate), thank you.