Official Gusu Lan Social Media Standards Office

I had a productive few days of reflection. I will deal with my inbox tray imminently.

#Doctor Bronner’s is the best choice for cleanliness without vanity

Perhaps you might attend to the memo I sent you first. Better yet, why don’t you come to my office. Imminently.

Could I interest the kind sir in some exquisite soaps?

Thank you, but such frivolities go against the Precepts. Doctor Bronner’s 18-in-1 Pure-Castile Soap suits me just fine.

On my desk, four correspondences, all half-replied to; looking out the window is a vanity with this brush. Yet to fruit, the verdant leaves of the magnolia are becoming in reserving comment

Do you fucking mind

@moderation-with-lanqiren your nephew swore. Do something about it

@seclusion-withlanxichen

Xichen. A word.

FUCK! 😁

Thank you, Wei Wuxian, I will deal with you next.

Lan Xichen, you know better than to throw about profanities. An upright Lan cultivator should be above such crassness. And swearing at a rabbit? What has gotten into you?

@jinlingsgayestuncle

And Wangji. Come collect your rabbit. How many times have I told you to keep them contained?

jinlingsgayestuncle

@moderation-with-lanqiren

My apologies Shufu, but this is his outside time which is required for the upkeep of his mental health.

But is it necessary that his outside time occur here? Don’t your rabbits have an entire meadow?

My hypothesis is that he managed to retain some of his cultivation ability and that, combined with his small size and the universal laws documented by Grandmaster Roger Rabbit, allows him to teleport to new locations.

Confirmation will require dissecting him though, which feels wrong

…

Just control your rabbit, please.

Many noisy chickens have been loaded into the bedroom

I beg your pardon?

If what I think is happening is happening it had better not be

Xichen, do you know something?

One might say tha

t any matter that one presumes is known clearly is perhaps less understood than the matters that are obscured

You’re obfuscating on purpose. What’s going on in there?

Mm. Who can really be clear-eyed about the vicissitudes of life?

…What?

That’s it. Xichen, I’m coming in.

Many noisy chickens have been loaded into the bedroom

I beg your pardon?

If what I think is happening is happening it had better not be

Xichen, do you know something?

One might say tha

t any matter that one presumes is known clearly is perhaps less understood than the matters that are obscured

You’re obfuscating on purpose. What’s going on in there?

jinlingsgayestuncle

Do you know how I can contact your uncle? I need to tell him something important

I shall contact him for you.

@moderation-with-lanqiren

Someone has claimed to have something important to tell you.

What is the matter?

On my desk, four correspondences, all half-replied to; looking out the window is a vanity with this brush. Yet to fruit, the verdant leaves of the magnolia are becoming in reserving comment

Do you fucking mind

@moderation-with-lanqiren your nephew swore. Do something about it

@seclusion-withlanxichen

Xichen. A word.

FUCK! 😁

Thank you, Wei Wuxian, I will deal with you next.

Lan Xichen, you know better than to throw about profanities. An upright Lan cultivator should be above such crassness. And swearing at a rabbit? What has gotten into you?

@jinlingsgayestuncle

And Wangji. Come collect your rabbit. How many times have I told you to keep them contained?

jinlingsgayestuncle

@moderation-with-lanqiren

My apologies Shufu, but this is his outside time which is required for the upkeep of his mental health.

But is it necessary that his outside time occur here? Don’t your rabbits have an entire meadow?

On my desk, four correspondences, all half-replied to; looking out the window is a vanity with this brush. Yet to fruit, the verdant leaves of the magnolia are becoming in reserving comment

Do you fucking mind

@moderation-with-lanqiren your nephew swore. Do something about it

@seclusion-withlanxichen

Xichen. A word.

FUCK! 😁

Thank you, Wei Wuxian, I will deal with you next.

Lan Xichen, you know better than to throw about profanities. An upright Lan cultivator should be above such crassness. And swearing at a rabbit? What has gotten into you?

Now now Uncle

It's an annoying ass rabbit. Fucking crazy if you ask me

Wei Wuxian, do not push your luck.

Uncle what if, hypothetically, a Lan disciple and their spouse fall down and their forehead ribbon gets caught on a tree branch and is subsequently removed from said Lan disciple's head. Is the disciple married to the tree? Is the first spouse allowed to burn the tree down in revenge?

Related question: are spouses allowed to protect the forehead ribbon with extreme violence? Define extreme violence

@foodsafety-withmoxuanyu

I will humor you, if it will get you to stop presenting these hypotheticals in classes.

Suggesting that the disciple is wedded to the tree is ridiculous; were that so, then he would also be married to his bedside table and his dressing screen and the stool beside the bath tub, or any other object that the ribbon rests upon when not being worn.

Whether it be a tree or a human, the spouse is not to enact violence of any degree against any person, creature, or object in defense of the ribbon. Bloody vengeance is not permissible, period. In such a case as this, any violence would be extreme violence.

Furthermore—and it genuinely would no longer surprise me if you didn’t know the customs under which you yourself were married—the ribbon ceremony and related privileges are only one aspect of Lan matrimonial customs. It was utterly inappropriate for you to be handling Wangji’s ribbon at that archery competition years ago, but that act alone did not constitute a binding marriage contract. If it did, do you not think the Lan Clan would have pursued the matter further? And in more recent years, why do you think so many people wanted you to take your bows before your elders and peers instead of simply taking up residence in the Jingshi?

Wangji, please tell me you have discussed these matters with your spouse, and that you didn’t just assume he understood.

I kinda just assumed that everyone hated me so much back then that you guys refused to acknowledge any significance of me grabbing the ribbon.

Once again, we did get married before I moved into the Jingshi. Just because you didn't see it doesn't mean it didn't happen.

So what? I'm supposed to just glare at anyone who touches it? Make them write lines? Ridiculous. Lan Zhan gets to chop off arms, I should get to as well 😤

Wei Wuxian.

I have it on good authority that YOU didn’t know the significance of the ribbon back then.

And who besides you is trying to touch his ribbon? Who besides you has ever had the audacity? Trees do not count.

Many noisy chickens have been loaded into the bedroom

I beg your pardon?

If what I think is happening is happening it had better not be

Xichen, do you know something?

On my desk, four correspondences, all half-replied to; looking out the window is a vanity with this brush. Yet to fruit, the verdant leaves of the magnolia are becoming in reserving comment

Do you fucking mind

@moderation-with-lanqiren your nephew swore. Do something about it

@seclusion-withlanxichen

Xichen. A word.

FUCK! 😁

Thank you, Wei Wuxian, I will deal with you next.

Lan Xichen, you know better than to throw about profanities. An upright Lan cultivator should be above such crassness. And swearing at a rabbit? What has gotten into you?

Perhaps the heat has made me irascible. Xichen will reflect further on his imprudence.

Do so. Heat is no excuse.

On my desk, four correspondences, all half-replied to; looking out the window is a vanity with this brush. Yet to fruit, the verdant leaves of the magnolia are becoming in reserving comment

Do you fucking mind

@moderation-with-lanqiren your nephew swore. Do something about it

@seclusion-withlanxichen

Xichen. A word.

FUCK! 😁

Thank you, Wei Wuxian, I will deal with you next.

Lan Xichen, you know better than to throw about profanities. An upright Lan cultivator should be above such crassness. And swearing at a rabbit? What has gotten into you?

@jinlingsgayestuncle

And Wangji. Come collect your rabbit. How many times have I told you to keep them contained?

Many noisy chickens have been loaded into the bedroom

I beg your pardon?

Uncle what if, hypothetically, a Lan disciple and their spouse fall down and their forehead ribbon gets caught on a tree branch and is subsequently removed from said Lan disciple's head. Is the disciple married to the tree? Is the first spouse allowed to burn the tree down in revenge?

Related question: are spouses allowed to protect the forehead ribbon with extreme violence? Define extreme violence

@foodsafety-withmoxuanyu

I will humor you, if it will get you to stop presenting these hypotheticals in classes.

Suggesting that the disciple is wedded to the tree is ridiculous; were that so, then he would also be married to his bedside table and his dressing screen and the stool beside the bath tub, or any other object that the ribbon rests upon when not being worn.

Whether it be a tree or a human, the spouse is not to enact violence of any degree against any person, creature, or object in defense of the ribbon. Bloody vengeance is not permissible, period. In such a case as this, any violence would be extreme violence.

Furthermore—and it genuinely would no longer surprise me if you didn’t know the customs under which you yourself were married—the ribbon ceremony and related privileges are only one aspect of Lan matrimonial customs. It was utterly inappropriate for you to be handling Wangji’s ribbon at that archery competition years ago, but that act alone did not constitute a binding marriage contract. If it did, do you not think the Lan Clan would have pursued the matter further? And in more recent years, why do you think so many people wanted you to take your bows before your elders and peers instead of simply taking up residence in the Jingshi?

Wangji, please tell me you have discussed these matters with your spouse, and that you didn’t just assume he understood.

#kids these days

On my desk, four correspondences, all half-replied to; looking out the window is a vanity with this brush. Yet to fruit, the verdant leaves of the magnolia are becoming in reserving comment

Do you fucking mind

@moderation-with-lanqiren your nephew swore. Do something about it

@seclusion-withlanxichen

Xichen. A word.

FUCK! 😁

Thank you, Wei Wuxian, I will deal with you next.

Lan Xichen, you know better than to throw about profanities. An upright Lan cultivator should be above such crassness. And swearing at a rabbit? What has gotten into you?

On my desk, four correspondences, all half-replied to; looking out the window is a vanity with this brush. Yet to fruit, the verdant leaves of the magnolia are becoming in reserving comment

Do you fucking mind

@moderation-with-lanqiren your nephew swore. Do something about it