Moderndayathena

Mom, wife, English teacher Romance reader and science fiction/fantasy and anime fan

[fox-bright]

My very small Anthony Stewart Head story

When I was 19, I went to England to meet in person a friend from a BBS I'd been on all through high school (and so that I would know where I was sleeping for a little while, as I was homeless at the time). Traveled around in my then-friend, eventual fiance, eventual ex-I-haven't-spoken-to-in-twenty-years' little white florist van, experiencing the country.

Eventually we ended up in the city of Bath. I was absolutely charmed, but also a bit overwhelmed by the sheer density of flesh, the constant flow of bodies down the main streets. This was 2002; smart phones didn't exist, and both of us had no extra money to spare, so mostly what happened was we'd go to a city and wander around until we found an internet cafe, check email and forums as quick as we could, and then find somewhere we could park the van up for the night. Usually a field behind a pub, or a little campground.

Bath wasn't going to have any of that for us, Bath was going to have hostels where the cost of one bed would have paid for four somewhere else. So in the late afternoon we decided we'd wander around for another hour or two, find something to eat, and then make our way back to the expensive parking lot and go.

It's important for you to know that in those days, I was a starved, feral little thing. I was taking in everything I could, in this land that was similar to but weirdly different from my own, but in many cases I'd choose silence over speech because I just didn't know quite how to behave. So when we got turned around, and we were both getting quite hungry, my companion said "You're cute, ask someone for directions!" and I, quite unlike myself now, quailed. Flat out refused. People had been acting strange about my accent every time I'd opened my mouth for weeks, and I was tired of it. I shook my head.

My companion, wry and a little frustrated, looked around the shady, cobblestoned back street we were wandering down, and located a target; man, with other people, not moving with speed. He strode over and tapped him on the shoulder. "Excuse me, mate?"

And Anthony Stewart Head turned around with the most exhausted expression I'd ever seen on the face of a person who was moving of their own volition. The shape of his shoulders and the sag of his jaw, the way he choked back a sigh, this was clearly a man who'd had to do too much today by a long way, and we were adding to the burden. There was an instant, before he'd fully turned to face us, of "Oh, god. Fine." and then a gentle, friendly smile stitched itself onto his face from the bottom up. It took a moment to make it to his eyebrows. "Yes?"

"Sorry to bother you, but we're not from 'round here. Do you know where the closest Maccas is?"

And there was just this beat of what? this instant of bafflement, as the actor realized that my companion had no idea who he was. He was just some guy, treating the actor as just some guy. And a real smile bloomed right through the other one, absolutely transforming his face, crinkling up his eyes. The woman standing next to him--blonde, warm-eyed, grinning, wearing a black, BtVS-branded baseball cap--made a little delighted noise.

"No, I'm sorry, I couldn't tell you."

His eyes flickered over to me, where I stood maybe three feet behind my companion, and the smile crinkled more. I can't describe what an expression of recognition looks like, on a human face, but most of us know what it looks like; he knew it, on mine.

And I had a mad instant of wanting to say "I really liked you, in VR5." It had been a terrible show, cancelled before the full season aired, and I'd found parts of it so compelling I couldn't stop chewing on them. I'd handwritten a short piece of fic about the character he played in it. But he looked so tired, and so delighted to be incognito, that I continued to hold my tongue.

My companion said "Aw. All right, then, sorry to trouble you," and turned to walk me toward a brighter street. The actor tilted his head a little toward me and winked, I see you, I see you seeing me, and then the woman I now know for sure was his wife took his arm, and the two of them turned the other direction.

Two hundred feet off, I said "You have no idea who that was, do you." "Who?" "The man you talked to! Look--" the wider street had a Virgin Megastore on it, and I steered my companion over, pulled him inside, went to the poster rack I knew they'd have, flipped through the offerings for the Buffy the Vampire Slayer poster that I knew would be there. "Look!" Giles, looking directly at the viewer, slightly off the middle of the group of serious-looking college students. "Oh, fuck. That was definitely him. Did you want an autograph?" I didn't. I wanted to leave him be. I've thought occasionally for nearly 25 years, now--longer than I'd been alive at that point--that maybe I'd run into the man again and tell him, I'd really liked him in a little show he did thirteen episodes of, two years before Buffy started airing. I'd think, how silly, that I still have such a strong mental image of his character crawling exhausted onto the female lead's couch and falling immediately asleep, and how much that scene changed the things Baby Gen was writing, and the things I've written since.

I won't get to tell him now, not that I probably ever really would have. But I'm still glad I left him be.

I hope his way is smooth.

[catchymemes]

[lilyhandmaiden]

Thoughts from my third decade of rereading Northanger Abbey

I reread Northanger Abbey recently. Because I’ve taught it a few times, it’s one of the Austens I’ve read the most, although it had been probably about a decade. And I was surprised that the reading experience had new things to bring me at 40 that it hadn’t at 30.

The first time I read Northanger, I was around 18-20. I’m really glad I read it at that age, because I got to be surprised by how immediate and relatable parts of it felt. I remember throwing the book down at one point because I was so angry at John and Isabella Thorpe—because I’d known people like that, and I hated being treated the way they treat Catherine.

But I’m also so glad I reread it at 40, because I got to experience how reading the Thorpe siblings feels different  now—somehow defanged. And the change isn’t in the writing (obviously), the change is in me. Isabella and John are still just as sharply written and just as terrible. But they are also so easy to see through.

I’d feel kind of stupid about it, but it’s not just me who had to develop this ability—when I taught the book in my 20s and 30s, I had to guide my college-age students to see how Isabella was behaving in a way exactly opposite to her professed values. But even at that point, I’m not sure I saw how pervasive her hypocrisy is. Now it’s obvious in practically every line. And instead of wanting to scream and throw the book, at 40 I just groaned and rolled my eyes. Because now I understand that this kind of terribleness can be painful to experience, but it’s a kind of pain you get over and leave behind.

This time, my really deep anger was reserved for General Tilney. Because he is also a recognizable type of person, but I wasn’t experienced enough in the world to know him twenty years ago. Now that I and the world have both changed, I think we’ve all known or know of people like the General. But his terribleness is far more adult and pervasive. He’s the patriarchy writ large, and the pain he causes is a deeper, lasting damage—to society as a whole, but especially to his children.

Fuck that guy.

On the opposite hand, we have Henry Tilney. He was my Austen hero crush in my twenties; I fell for him because he’s a big nerd. In my thirties, I still loved him but thought he could stand to be little less pedantic. But this time, for the first time, I found myself actually thinking more about Henry’s perspective on events, and it was really amusing:

You’re Henry Tilney, a guy who’s spent most of his adulthood, ever since his mom died, trying to shield his sister from his emotionally abusive dad. The experience has made you The Funny One. You’ve never thought you’d get a lot of romantic attention. But suddenly absolutely everyone is throwing this girl at you. Not just Eleanor, who obviously thinks it’s very funny—but your dad. Your asshole dad is moving heaven and earth to set you up with this random, regular girl, and you cannot figure out why. It can’t be for your happiness, that’s not how this man rolls. And the worst part is, you actually like her. You wish you didn’t, just to spite the old man, but she’s just so (in her terms, may the English language forgive you) nice. And cute. What’s more, she’s guileless, while you’re used to a world full of guile. She’s sincere, while you’re adept at navigating insincerity. And she likes you, which you were slow to believe was real at first, but she has made it very, very obvious. Still, you’re reluctant to make a move (at least not The Big Move) because you can’t figure out what the game is here. Your dad’s game, that is, not Catherine’s game. Catherine has no game, but as soon as you figured that out, your dad swooped in. So finally, you come home, looking forward to seeing her because she just brightens up everything, even your father’s miserable house, but she’s not there. And the other shoe drops, and it all makes sense.

I don’t remember—have either of the screen adaptations of Northanger shown us the scene where Henry goes absolutely ballistic on the General? Because I could see him being very calmly, coldly furious, but I could also see him finally, after all those years of pent-up anger, just losing it. Either way, I want to see Henry tell his father that Catherine Morland is worth ten, a hundred, a thousand of General Tilney.

I got the impression on this read that Henry wasn’t even that mad when Catherine suspected his father of murder and/or wrongful imprisonment. I read him as more bemused than anything. But I was also surprised to find myself aligned against Henry Tilney in this scene.

In my twenties and thirties, I always taught Northanger as a genre study where the protagonist is wrong-genre savvy. Catherine Morland is in a comedy of manners, but she thinks she’s in a gothic novel, and this confrontation with Henry—the most genre-savvy of characters (in a way that aligns him in an interesting way with the novel’s author/narrator, via his wry observations of human behavior and his defense of the novel)—is where she finally realizes her mistake. Henry forces her to examine the actual setting and events of the novel—“Remember the country and the age in which we live”; “Consult your own understanding, your own sense of the probable, you own observation of what is passing around you”—and place herself in the correct genre. This reality check leads to a maturation in her perspective, which leads her toward her happy ending. I think it’s a good reading, and I stand by it.

But on this reread, I was more like… Henry, are you serious? Abusive men murder their wives. Yes, even educated, English, Christian men. Yes, even in the eighteenth century, and the nineteenth, twentieth, and twenty-first. Faking their deaths and imprisoning them for years, I’ll grant you, is less probable. But men very much do murder their wives. And the law doesn’t stop them, doesn’t punish them if they cover it up well enough, and the “neighborhood of voluntary spies” might see the abuse and look the other way until it’s too late. This isn’t just the stuff of fantastic, contrived drama, Henry. This happens. This happens regularly. You have to know that. I mean, come on. Yes, this is your dad and you know the reality of the situation, but looking at it as an outsider? Consult your own understanding, your own observation of what is passing around you. Don’t be such a willfully obtuse man.

I would like an adaptation to show Henry coming to this realization, on his own or with the help of Eleanor—because Eleanor is a woman, and she has to live with the General all the time, so I think she knows.

I mean, Catherine is a girl who takes several encounters to decide she doesn’t really like John Thorpe very much, and who makes excuses for Isabella as long as she can. This is the girl who always gives people more of the benefit of the doubt than they deserve. And she has determined within a few days that Henry’s dad is a stone-cold murderer. That should tell him something important.

I do remember that the 2007 adaptation hints in that direction when Henry tells Catherine her instinct, if not the substance of her accusation, was correct, and that there is “a kind of vampirism” in the Abbey. 2007 was during the Twilight years, which explains the vampire reference, but it’s a good metaphor for what’s happening between the General and his kids. They don’t just loathe him, they’re afraid of him. And whenever he’s around, Catherine notices, he sucks all the fun and joy out of the room.

(Instead of vampires, an adaptation today would gesture to the true crime genre, and a modern retelling should definitely make Catherine a true crime fan.)

In an adaptation, would like to see more of Henry’s maturation from his exposure to Catherine’s character. I didn’t realize it when I first read the novel and Henry was older than me, but he could stand to grow, too. Ideally, for example, people grow out of being the Language and Grammar Police, which is just another type of silliness. And this would lead us up to Henry finally growing enough to break away from his father.

(P.S. for my Tolkien friends: General Tilney/his wife = Denethor/Finduilas, Henry is Faramir, Frederick could be a suckier version of Boromir,  I said what I said.)

[bethanydelleman]

It's hard discussing women/wives in older literature because frequently someone will absolve a woman of all responsibility or say she had no power at all in the relationship because "she had no rights." And it's like, well yes, she had less rights than some women today, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have any responsibility or power ever. And you also need to look at the circumstances.

Mrs. Bennet in Pride & Prejudice for example, she is clearly not a beaten-down, controlled wife. Other than keeping her from spending them into debt, Mr. Bennet doesn't seem to restrain her in any way. She hosts parties frequently, gives quite a bit of money to her favourite child, serves fancy food; she clearly has a lot of freedom over the household budget. And yet, people will say that she couldn't have saved money. She clearly could have. Mr. Bennet wouldn't have stopped her and he wouldn't have squandered it himself. She's not some poor little oppressed housewife who lived in abject misery.

Catherine Earnshaw is described in Wuthering Heights as a thorn embraced by roses who bend themselves (her husband and his sister) to her will and comfort. Her husband is mostly a spineless coward. Yet, people argue to me that she had no power in this relationship because she was a woman. Yes she did! What book did you read? Edgar probably would have given in to her immediately if Nelly hadn't encouraged him otherwise.

The wives in Austen's novels who have very little power are Lady Bertram (Mansfield Park), who acts like a child, wants her husband to make decisions for her, and is coaxed like a child the only time they disagree; and probably Mrs. Tilney (Northanger Abbey), if we judge by how controlling General Tilney is of the household under Eleanor's tacit management. And yes, in the past a husband could totally run roughshod over his wife with very few consequences. He could limit her money, control her spending, and bully her out of her legally required pin money (allowance). But that doesn't mean every single one of them did! Most didn't. Colonel Brandon is disgusted by his brother's financial abuse of his wife in Sense & Sensibility. The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Brontë is describing a very financially abusive marriage, not a typical one. John Dashwood either defers to his wife or treats her as an equal. Lady Elliot in Persuasion kept her husband out of debt for years, meaning he listened to her about finances or she used soft power very capably. Like Mr. Bennet, lots of men were probably happy to have household management off their plate and a good dinner in front of them.

The amount of power a wife had on paper could vary massively in practice.

Addendum: this doesn't mean the system that granted husbands/men this much power was good or we should go back to it, because it sucked and could result in a ton of abuse and oppression and we are going back over my dead body.

[bethanydelleman]

People on the internet: Well teenagers were considered adults in the past and therefore they matured faster. The word teenager didn't even exist!

Basic biology: Lol, that's not how any of this works

Authors from the actual past: My heroine may seem stupid and irresponsible but let us all recall that she is but seventeen. Young people will be young people.

[moderndayathena]

This makes me think about when my freshman students find out that Juliet is just about to turn 14 and ask how old Romeo is. I tell them that the play never directly says his age, but he is definitely acting like a teenager!

[percabethconvos]

Annabeth: What's the most polite way to phrase "you fucked up big time and need to fix this now or else" in a professional email?

Percy: "Hello, I hope this email finds you before I do"

[the-wanderer]

[zhongliologist]

Nine volumes in May I Ask for One Final Thing? and Julius is still toying around Scarlet. Yes it's extremely funny but you know what's funnier? Julius falling extremely hard for Scarlet and she won't believe him and is incredibly pathetic and he has to go all through hoops and hurdles to redeem himself in her eyes.

So what I'm saying is, if the author doesn't have the balls to do it, I will do it myself and I will personally torment Julius with everything he has done to Scarlet and will become a changed man after I'm done with this fanfic.

[moderndayathena]

Please do! I was actually looking on AO3 for this exact thing, and couldn’t find it!

[inejsgirl]

reading the lightning thief to my brother and omitting the use of the word "ugly" to describe the children of ares because twelve-year-old percy jackson seriously did not have to be such a bitch

[moderndayathena]

I’m really glad the casting of the series went away from that trope of “the evil kids must be ugly.” Not that they are necessarily evil, but that’s how they seem to Percy, I think, at this point.

[sonseulsoleil]

Okay, I've been thinking about Percy saying, “She’d have to choose between the two of you. You can’t imagine what that’s like.” to Annabeth and how it's pretty dumb of him to say when she consistently chooses him over Luke. And I have to say as dumb as it is, it is pretty in character. In the books, he's convinced she has feelings for Luke for a long time and is like, mega-jealous every time she brings up wanting to save him, or their past together. I don't know if he even realizes that Annabeth is choosing him, or if he only sees that she is choosing the gods.

[moderndayathena]

I thought the same thing! Dude, she does know exactly what that’s like! But you’re right that he wouldn’t necessarily see that. I think the actors both played it really well with him being so earnest and her expression showing that she does know how hard it is, but she doesn’t say anything to him about it. 

[justaz]

NONONONONO YOU GUYS DONT GET IT THE GODS ARE AMERICANIZED!!! ZEUS IS A PARANOID TYRANT BECAUSE THATS HOW AMERICANS THINK OF KINGS!!! POSEIDON IS MELLOW RATHER THAN TEMPERMENTAL BECAUSE THE ANCIENT GREEKS DIDNT KNOW HOW TO TRAVERSE THE MEDITTERANEAN AND THE SEA WAS VERY DEADLY TO THEM BUT AMERICANS VIEW THE SEA AS A VACATION!!! ARES IS VULGAR AND CRUEL AND A BULLY BECAUSE THATS HOW (most) AMERICANS VIEW WAR - AS A LAST RESORT BECAUSE WAR IS RUTHLESS!!!! DEMETER IS AN OVERBEARING MOTHER IN LAW BECAUSE AMERICAN WOMEN HAVE MORE RIGHTS THAN ANCIENT GREEK WOMEN AND NOW HAVE THE ABILITY TO CHOOSE WHO THEY MARRY SO IN THIS VERSION OF THEIR STORY PERSEPHONE MADE THE CHOICE TO WALK INTO THE UNDERWORLD AND BECOME A QUEEN AND STEP INTO HER OWN POWER BUT HER MOTHER CANT LET HER DAUGHTER GROW UP AND TRIES TO HOLD ON TOO TIGHT - THEIR STORY IS STILL THE PAIN THAT A LOT OF MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS EXPERIENCE JUST DIFFERENT TO ANCIENT MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS!!!! THEY'RE MODERN!!!!! THEY'RE AMERICANIZED!!!! PLEASE NO LISTEN TO ME THEY REFLECT THE CULTURE AND THE TIMES LISTEN TO-

[moderndayathena]

That is a really excellent point!

[triscribe]

What did you think of the 2nd season of Percy Jackson?

LOVED IT

So many moments of panicked screeching when they changed things from the books and I was Alarmed, but honestly, I feel like this was a *fantastic* blend of Coherent Story for Newcomers, delightful Easter Eggs for Longtime Fans, and Just Enough New Twists to keep those same longtime fans hollering at the screen

Yes, I know some of those changes haven't gone down well with some fans, but MAN did I have a good time, can't wait to see how much more nerve-wracking S3 is gonna be

(Also I've already jotted down fan fic plans both for my Trade AU and some new plots, which is also always an evil delight, muahahaha...)

[moderndayathena]

I agree with you! It probably helps that it’s been a while since I’ve read the books, and I think the fact that I know the author is helping make the changes probably also influences my decision. But I usually hate when they make major changes from book to movie, and these, I don’t! Maybe it’s because they still fit the characters and the overall vibe? (They also fit the major themes of the series, IMO.) But I find myself, instead of saying “that’s not how it happened in the book!” I am saying, “that’s an interesting change! I wonder where they’re going to go with that!”

The change to Thalia’s story of becoming a tree, is definitely one I am going to have to think on! But I am enjoying watching the series. It is really pulling me in. And I am loving these characters just as much as I love the book characters. 

[owlleahbeth]

The Circe’s Island Percy and Annabeth statues 🔱

[moderndayathena]

Yes! It would be so cool if they were somewhere that you could pose with them for a picture! 

[cafeinevitable-deactivated20220]

Over The Waves by Setsuko Matsushima

art quilt

[hollowedskin]

QUILT?!?!

[leebrontide]

So Your Temperate Home is Suddenly an Arctic Hellscape

As -10F hits area’s of the US who’ve never seen such temperatures in living memory, I wanted to give some tips from a Minnesotan who’s lived with these temps as a part of my life for 37 years.

1) Don’t Get Cocky. People used to these temps may laugh at our southern neighbors freaking out about the cold because yes, some parts of the US get such temps regularly every year. These people are being ignorant assholes. Our houses are mandated to have insulation that few of your homes will have. We pretty much all have huge puffy coats, and have well established winter weather gear drives for homeless and poor folks every year. We have expensive, well equipped infrastructure for cope with these temps and with large amounts of snow. You don’t. When it comes down to it, Minnesotans know to respect the cold temps- it’s just that a lot of the ways that do it are so commonplace as to be invisible to those who already have these habits.

2) Don’t go out wet. Dry your hair or stay inside. You will loose a lot of heat if you’re wet. Same for sweat, and wet diapers. And clothes with snow on them are now WET CLOTHES. Change into dry clothes as soon as possible.

3) If you have a shitty car battery or a car that sometimes struggles to start, then try not to use it. You’re unlikely to get the kind of temps where it’s impossible to start an engine (I’ve only experienced those temps a few times. Once my eyelashes froze shut and I almost froze to death in my own back yard. Don’t be like young me. Respect the cold.) If your car doesn’t start, you could be stranded somewhere, and realistically your area’s emergency services may be pretty overrun. 

4) Very cold air doesn’t hold moisture well. Plan for extra hydration for people, pets, and plants. Even if your staying in- most home heaters pull cold air from outside, then dry it out even MORE in the process of heating it. Dehydration is a thing. Even if your home’s heater has a humidifier attached to it (if you’re not sure, then it probably doesn’t.) it’s a good idea to drink extra water. Right now I have a few pots of water just left out by heaters to evaporate as much as possible. My mom used to just heat huge camping pots on the stove all day in cold temps. Remember, dry nasal passages really muck up your bodies ability to fight airborne illness. This is not a great time for that.

5) Help out homeless folks in your area in any way you can. These temps can and do kill. And since we have more evictions than any society can conscionably defend this year, we have high numbers of homeless people. Which means area supports for unhoused folks are often underfunded and over-taxed. 

6) Let your faucets drip. I know nobody likes to waste water but if your pipes freeze they will literally explode. Your home will flood. My mother’s kitchen got completely destroyed and it traumatized my childhood dog. Justa  bit of moving warm water will safeguard you from that.

7) Do. Not. Burn. Propane. Indoors. 

8) Plan for potential power outages. Ice on the lines can cause this and again, your infrastructure isn’t prepped for this. Unplug anything in your home you’re not using to do your part to help prevent rolling blackouts.

9) Driving on ice is a SKILL. Your roads may be filled with people who do not have that skill. Please please, stay off the roads if you can- even if you have this skill these roads will not be prepped and will, again, be full of people who don’t know how to do this because it just hasn’t come up that much in their life.

Stay safe and stay kind, folks! 

[a-krogan-skald-and-bearsark]

Wear Wool, if you can. It’s even better than fleece because it’ll keep insulating even if it’s wet. The only thing better than wool is fur.

And if you stop feeling cold, get somewhere warm. It’s one of the symptoms of Hypothermia.

[violet-silverblood]

If you have a white or light colored dog, let them go outside on a leash. You want to be able to find them and get them in quickly if they’re not built for snow (huskys are the exception not the rule).

If you have an outdoor cat bring them inside. Leaving them out there is a roll of the dice and odds are not good they’ll survive.

Make sure you have enough food, water, extra heating supplies, batteries, ect.

Stay home and stay safe everyone.

[thenadnerb02]

If I had a nickel for every time a poet who’s been well-known for many centuries suddenly got supplanted by a fictional character who shares their name as the most famous person with said name, I’d have two nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice.

[miragepiercer]

Milk chocolate is the best- DARK CHOCOLATE SUCKS ASS AS WELL AS WHITE CHOCOLATE 💔

Someone woke up and chose violence today.

Alright let's people choose...

Which chocolate is the real one?

Dark chocolate

Milk chocolate

White chocolate

Im gonna press this to only check the results for I dislike chocolate

Voting ended onJan 3