Linda/Leridan; 30s; reader, writer, and drinker of tea. Leridan on Ao3, teabroomsandbooks on bluesky. Multifandom blog, though it may not always seem that way. I might ramble about my life sometimes. What you'll find here: sustainable living/climate activism, inclusive feminism, 9-1-1, LotR, dimension 20, Star Trek, other sci-fi, and the occasional Umbrella Academy.
we made it to the end! this has been an amazing experience, it feels like a community endeavor, i love each and every one of you <3
part one, part two, part three & part four.
-> also on ao3
The lasagna was still in the oven, when Tommy arrived, so they were enjoying the view from one of the balconies. Buck had stuck the magnetic timer to one of the outside chairs, so he'd hear it and the food wouldn't burn.
”You're definitely paying for the view.”
Buck snorted. ”I think I'm paying for everything.”
”The sunset must look unreal from here, with all those windows.”
”The sunrise isn't half bad either.” Buck turned and pointed up to the loft, where his bed was. ”Waking up early is pretty great, when you don't have to get out of bed to see it.”
Tommy regarded the loft. ”Alright, I'm starting to see the advantages of not having walls.”
Buck looked up as well, then back to Tommy. ”It's not about the walls, it's about the windows.”
”Having a lot of windows doesn't matter, if you have a lot of walls.”
”What are you talking about–”
They both jumped at the sound of the timer. Buck rushed to get the oven. He was extra careful, pulling the dish out of the oven. It would be just his luck to drop the thing, after spending all afternoon making it. He heard the timer magnetise onto the fridge, before he felt Tommy at his shoulder.
Tommy whistled. ”Looks delicious.”
”Yeah?”
”Very.” He patted Buck on the hip. ”Need help with anything?”
”If you could,” he gestured to the sides still sitting on the island. ”I'll get the drinks.”
As they sat down, Buck took in the spread before them. He was pretty happy with his efforts, even though he could think of a few things he could've done better. He hadn't asked about Tommy's preferences ahead of time. He waited to dig in, until Tommy did.
Tommy pointed to his plate with his fork. ”This is incredible.”
”Thank you,” Buck preened, relieved.
”I remember Bobby's lasagna. This is not that.”
”He's probably improved it, since you had it last.”
”Oh, no, baby, this is all you, I'm sure of it.”
Baby. The spine tingles persisted.
”I try,” he blushed. ”Bobby is a great teacher.”
”And you're a great student.”
His fork halted halfway to his mouth. ”Oh.”
”Doesn't matter how great he is. This,” Tommy gestured to the food, ”takes skill.”
He almost felt a lump in his throat. ”Th-thank you.”
Tommy smiled and kept eating. He loved everything and wasn't too shy to say so. It was the restaurant all over again. They kept talking.
They took a break between dinner and dessert, to go watch the sunset from the balcony, only to come back inside, and keep talking. Buck was running out of snacks and drinks to offer, but he didn't want Tommy to go. Buck had had his fair share of intense friendships over the years, but this was something else. The conversation was still flowing easily, and Tommy had made no indications about heading home, yet all Buck could think was don't leave.
Tommy was beautiful. When he laughed, it beamed out of his whole body. Even at rest, it was so clear on his face how much he'd smiled in his life. He followed everything Buck said so closely, taking all of it in and responding.
His chest felt tight, when he thought about how he wanted to do this every night. He wanted to listen to and know all of Tommy's stories. He wanted to call him when work was slow. He wanted him to breathe down his neck, while he read every plaque, at every museum in all of LA. He wanted to know every offensive hat Tommy owned.
They were already sitting at the corner of the table, right next to each other, but Buck scooted his chair back, to get the table out of the way. ”Come here for a sec?”
Tommy scooted back, too, then angled himself toward him. ”What's up?”
”I just need to–” His fingers clutched uselessly at the air, before he committed. His hands found the sides of Tommy's face and pulled him close. Tommy kept his eyes open, until the last second – maybe longer. Buck closed his eyes. Tommy's lips were warm and a little wet.
The kiss wasn't deep enough to taste him, but deep enough to make a small sound when they parted.
”Oh.”
”Oh?”
”Oh,” Buck said and dove back in. This was the part that was missing. He would've fallen off the chair, in his quest to get closer, if Tommy hadn't grabbed the legs and hitched it forward. Buck's weight made the chair screech across the floor. He wound his arms around Tommy's shoulders, holding on tightly, as if Tommy was going somewhere.
The position was awkward, their knees kept them apart. The only place Tommy's hands could comfortably go, was on Buck's thighs.
Buck broke the kiss, to take a breath, but didn't move away. His fingers found Tommy's bottom lip, needing to touch. ”Sorry, was that– was that OK?”
A smile bloomed across Tommy's face. ”Yeah, baby, that was OK.”
”I love when you call me that,” Buck said, more than a little dazed.
”I can tell.” Tommy nuzzled the side of his face. Buck was helpless not to chase it.
”Is that– is that why you do it?” His fingers trailed up the side of Tommy's face, to touch the smile lines around his eyes.
He could feel Tommy grin against his cheek. ”Well, we can't both be Boyfriend. That would be confusing.”
”You're not funny.”
”I'm hilarious.”
Buck giggled, and squirmed at the feeling of Tommy's scruff. ”You're not, I just smile a lot.”
”Get over here and smile some more.”
Buck abandoned his chair, and sat across Tommy's lap instead – this was not a straddling situation. The chair creaked and they both sat carefully still for a second. As solid as Tommy's lap felt, the chair didn't seem to be.
”I think we're good.”
”You sure?” Buck asked, hand reaching behind him for the kitchen island, just in case. Tommy wiggled, but there were no additional ominous sounds. ”This is not a problem I've ever had before,” he muttered.
Tommy laughed and buried his face in the crook of Buck's neck. Buck dug him out so they could kiss again.
Kissing Tommy was … well, it wasn't the kiss itself, it was his arms. They were so strong around him, it didn't feel like he could move, unless Tommy allowed him to.
This was what was missing. This was how all of their dates should have ended. He should have kissed Tommy after they got coffee, after they closed out the restaurant. He should have kissed him infront of the dire wolves, and after the aloe in the parking lot. He should have kissed him when Tommy held his hand at the Pollinator Meadow. He should have shoved Tommy into one of the helicopters at Harbor.
The only time he was happy about them not kissing, was at the club. If they'd kissed at the club, Buck wouldn't have remembered it, and not remembering his first kiss with Tommy would have broken his heart.
Their first kiss, was right here, in his kitchen, and he was going to remember that for the rest of his life.
”You OK?” Tommy asked softly.
”Yeah,” he smiled. ”Yeah, I think I just needed to catch up.”
”Catch up?”
”To you.” It was a little nonsensical, but Tommy seemed to understand.
”I'm glad you did.” Tommy nuzzled him.
They fell quiet again, for a moment. Buck tried to take it all in. What it felt like to be kissed by Tommy, how the breadth of his shoulders felt under his hands, how safe he felt. He touched his fingertips to Tommy's facial hair, and wondered at the fact that it didn't matter. Tommy being a man wasn't a factor at all.
I can't do this, Sam. I know. It's all wrong. By rights, we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, It's only a passing thing this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you that meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something.
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002) dir. Peter Jackson
we need to bring back public hatred for paparazzi. I’m so tired of actors defending themselves against assholes with cameras and being smeared as egotistical divas. they’re glorified stalkers who get paid to harass people. end of. the things these freaks get away with would send normal people to prison but we’re supposed to think it’s okay just bc they’re paparazzi. they SHOULD get shut down for being openly misogynistic. they SHOULD get told off and reported for following someone to their private residence to doxx them. they SHOULD face charges for just about running people over in their pursuit of the next hot celeb. this is not normal. and, actually, these people DO deserve to get punched sometimes.
I spent the afternoon arranging our books by size and color (and it’s so satisfying and looks amazing) and my partner came home and stared in shock at the bookcase and then said “i’m a librarian, you can’t do this.”
it has occurred me during this process that apparently not everyone thinks about books by what color they are? like, literally when i’m looking for a book, i picture it in my mind. i have a very…tactile experience with the books i read and idk! i thought everyone did that lol.
my partner was like “how will i find [this book] for instance” and i replied “easy, it’s purple” and he looked at me like i was a witch.
This actually is interesting in terms of information-seeking behavior, which is a thing librarians think about a lot and often actually study (some library jobs require you to publish, and academic librarians, for instance, will often use the students at the college they work at to study how they search for information in order to figure out how to best provide them services).
When you go for an MLS (Master’s of Library Science, which is a thing, and which is usually required for “professional-level” library work [which is also a weird and contentious concept that I won’t go into here]), one of the things you study is the organization of information. This deals with how to determine what a book or other material is “about"—a concept we tongue-in-cheek call “aboutness"—and how to convey that to a potential user of the item and make it easy for them to find. Things like keywords and subject headings, do I put this book about how often wild birds attack aerial drones in with books about birds or with books about technology, if its a fictional novel do I put fantasy in it’s own section or mix it in with all of the other fiction, so on and so on.
OP is organizing books by how they would look for them. OP’s partner is thinking in terms of aboutness. This is a system that works for OP because it’s their personal library: they know basically what books they own and they only own books that are relevant to them, and if they know what the book looks like, that can be a quick way to find it.
In a library that assumes the public (or people who do not own that particular collection of books) are using the collection, that doesn’t work. Books are often re-issued in multiple covers, or re-bound in new covers when they get worn out, and if the user doesn’t know what the book looks like or is expecting a different cover, they’re lost. That’s why non-personal libraries used standardized cataloging systems like the Dewey Decimal System or Library of Congress System to organize a book by what it’s “about”, and then put books about the same or similar topics together, marked with labels and signage so a person unfamiliar with the book or collection can find their way to it.
Basically, OP’s system works for their own personal library, because it’s best suited to how the primary user—OP themselves—looks for books. OP’s librarian partner is coming from a background of thinking in terms of a public-facing collection, where aboutness is the key criteria and communicating it to a user unfamiliar with the collection is the priority.
Suddenly, a man was up in his face. ”Can I hug you?”
”Uh, sure,” Buck said.
The guy nearly knocked him off his feet. As Buck wrapped his arms around him, he hissed, ”Be my boyfriend.”
”What?”
”Guy behind me won't take a hint.”
”Hi, baby,” Buck said loudly. ”I couldn't find you! Have you been here long?” His boyfriend looked at him, seemingly taken aback by the theatrics.
”No, not long,” Boyfriend said and looked over his shoulder. ”This is… Sorry, I forgot your name?”
The other guy looked between them, held up his hands and turned on his heel.
Boyfriend breathed a sigh of relief and grimaced. ”Sorry about that.”
”Don't be,” Buck said easily. ”Not everyday you get a boyfriend.”
Boyfriend looked him up and down. ”You probably could, if you wanted.”
Buck felt his ears burn. ”Thanks.” He glanced around. ”Are you here by yourself?”
”I am. Bad move, it seems. Are you?”
”Oh, I'm with,” he pointed in the general direction of their table. ”Friends. Was gonna buy a round. If I get you one, will you help me carry them to the table?”
”Sure,” Boyfriend smiled.
Boyfriend orderd a fancy beer with a fancy pronounciation that Buck didn't quite catch. Together, they got the drinks safely to the table, where Buck made the introductions. ”This is Ravi and Eddie,” he pointed. ”And this is…”
”Tommy,” Boyfriend smiled.
”Tommy,” Buck said. Boyfriend fit him better. He looked at the drink in his hand. Maybe he should cut himself off. If he didn't, he was definitely going to forget the guy's name.
*
”Boyfriend!”
Boyfriend turned around, amusement clear on his face. ”What's up?”
”Give me your number! We should hang out sometime.”
Boyfriend shook his head, laughing, but closed the short distance between them. He held out his massive hand, silently asking for his phone. Buck patted his pocket and fished it out, handing it over. Suddenly, there was bright light in his face. He squinted. Then the light disappeared. Spots were dancing infront of his eyes, but he could still see Boyfriend. Oh. Face ID.
”Feel free to delete this when you're sober,” Boyfriend smiled and handed the phone back.
”I won't, but thanks,” Buck grinned. He closed one eye to see the screen better. He sent off a string of emojis, so Boyfriend had his number, too. ”It was really nice to meet you.” He stumbled forward and hugged Boyfriend goodbye.
”You, too,” he chuckled.
”Let me just,” Ravi said, appearing under his arm. ”I've got it. Nice to meet you, Tommy.”
Tommy.
Buck let Ravi and Eddie carry him home.
”Something you wanna tell us, Buck?” Eddie asked.
”What do you mean?”
Ravi rolled his eyes, loudly.
*
Bleary eyed, Buck checked for damages. Besides two made it home safe texts from Eddie and Ravi, there were no messages on any of his apps, from exes or worse.
Except a new thread with Boyfriend. Who the hell was Boyfriend? There was only one message, one from him to Boyfriend. A string of his most recently used emojis. Two of them were kissy faces.
The night before Shane might win his third Stanley cup, Ilya sends him the clip of his Stanley cup win.
Confused, Shane immediately calls him.
"Is this some new and unique way to psych me out before the final, Rozanov? I didn't know you had money on Detroit."
"No, I am sending for a good reason," Ilya laughs. "I know it sucks for us that when you win all your team will be kissing their girlfriends and Pike will be making out all gross with Jackie, and we will not be able to. So, I wanted to show you exactly where I first kissed the cup. It was on the top, right over where it says Ottawa 1905, left of where it says 'Challenge Cup'. I remember because I did this on purpose. We weren't anything then, but I was thinking of you. I couldn't help thinking of you. So if you kiss the same place, it will be a little like we are sharing a kiss. And only we will know about it."
And Shane feels the air clean knocked out of his lungs and the back of his throat get tight, as he barely gets out, "Baby, that's... Thank you. I don't know what to say. I love you so fucking much. I'll make sure you see our kiss, okay?"
"I will be watching. I love you, My Shane. Go show the world why Shane Fucking Hollander is the goat, okay?"
On the night Shane wins his third Stanley Cup, he kisses their spot on the cup, thinking only of Ilya, and longs for a day where he can pull him onto the ice like Scott did with Kip.
On the night Shane wins his fourth Stanley cup, he hoists the cup into the air with his captain, they both kiss the same spot on the trophy, and then in front of the world, on his home ice, Shane Hollander kisses his husband, and it feels like a promise fulfilled.
i know that ilya is always standing close as fuck to shane at any given point. just always up in his business, every part of them touching, for no reason at all. ilya’s front to shane’s back constantly nosy as fuck looking at things over his shoulder, making comments about how shane cuts vegetables. nose to nose like “hey”. and shane never says anything, just lets it happen. honestly, he gets a lil grumpy is ilya stands too far away and tries to sneakily close the distance and ilya Always notices and makes fun of him bc he thinks it’s so cute
wait ok this is actually one that has caused some contention before when I've talked to people about it. reblog and tag whether or not you check the weather prediction every day before going out
thinking about Buck going to college and working at a coffeeshop on campus
He likes the job well enough; he meets all sorts of people and gets free coffee and gets to socialize and he's charming enough that he gets decent tips (and a decent amount of phone numbers).
One day he's on closing shift and he finds a book a customer left at a table--something about winning people over/making people like you. Buck's curious and flips through a few pages, considers taking it home with him but ultimately puts it in the lost and found box. Nobody claims the book and Buck finds himself reading it during quiet shifts and although he's never really had trouble getting people to like him (his peers anyway), he's eager to test out some of the techniques. and as he's wondering just who he could try them out on, Tommy walks in the coffee shop, sporting his usual dark jeans and cable knit sweater combo (today it's a dark green).
Tommy's not standoffish per se, but he doesn't make more conversation than is necessary and he has the air of someone trying to blend into their surroundings. He always tips well, but there's something about Tommy's demeanor and his and Buck's exchanges that makes Buck feel like he hasn't quite earned it. He's never even seen the guy smile, although Buck swears he saw the hint of one once when he'd been rambling about sea horses to his coworker Dahlia.
So Buck sets his sights on winning Tommy over and he even buys a little journal to take notes of their interactions and...it all works surprisingly well and Buck had been a bit skeptical but it was easy and quick, he finds, to get Tommy to have a conversation that isn't about the coffee he's ordering or the weather--Buck learns that Tommy is a TA with the Aviation College; to get Tommy to actually meet his eye; to get Tommy to smile (and it was well worth the wait). Buck finds himself looking forward to seeing and talking to Tommy--he's grown fond of Tommy's dry wit and the way he says Buck's given name.
He's also started tipping Buck more--twice the amount he did before--and Buck should be grateful (and he is), he feels guilty and worries that he's somehow manipulated Tommy into giving him more money when all Buck wanted was to be a bright spot in Tommy's day.
He doesn't find the answer online, so during his next Psychology lecture, when his professor opens the floor for questions and discussion, Buck brings it up--he describes the predicament that "his friend" has and asks if it's indeed manipulation. He doesn't get a clear cut satisfactory answer from the professor or anyone in the class, but the thing that sticks with him is his classmate Jeremy saying, "it sounds like this guy has a crush on 'your friend.'"
Buck's taken aback...he doesn't say it out loud of course, but he thinks, but Tommy's not gay. Then again, Buck supposes he could be. And why does that--the possibility that Tommy has a crush on--do something weird to his insides? Buck's always been an ally, but then again he's never known a guy who liked him--what if some part of him is secretly homophobic?
Buck spirals a bit and then spirals about spiraling and ultimately decides that he doesn't know if Tommy is gay and he may never know and he's just going to treat him the same way. regardless of potential crushes. He loses more sleep over it than he wants to admit.
To appease his guilt, Buck resolves to treat Tommy like any of his other customers, but when Tommy walks into the coffee shop the next day and when he catches Buck's eye and immediately a smile takes over his face, scrunching his nose and crinkling his eyes, Buck can't make himself just paste on his polite, customer service smile...apparently he has a Tommy smile.
Tommy orders his coffee while Buck tries to hide his yawn behind his hand. Tommy chuckles and asks Buck what his coffee order is because he'd like to buy him one.
Warmth floods Buck's face, but he just gives Tommy a look. "I don't have to pay for my coffee."
Tommy smiles. "Humor me."
Buck's mouth twitches. "Okay, if you insist." He grabs another cup from the stack and rings up his go-to order with Tommy's. After he writes his own name on the cup, Tommy gestures at the marker.
"Can I?"
Buck doesn't understand, but he hands over the cup and marker anyway and gets to work on Tommy's drink. When he's done, he hands the drink to Tommy and Tommy returns the cup and marker to him and Buck sees scribbled on the side of the cup is a phone number. He looks up in surprise.
Tommy blushes and shrugs. "No pressure. You can just throw it away. Or, you can call and we can arrange that tour of the Flight Center, if you want."
Buck swallows, stomach fluttering, and oh, how did he not place the feeling before? He tilts his head and smiles. "And if I wanted to take you out after, say...dinner and a movie?"
Make your own era-accurate Star Trek episode title cards in seconds. Boldly go!
The sitemaker (Josh Mayfield at https://bsky.app/profile/bean525.bsky.social) has asked for people to come in and kick its tires so he can work out any bugs they turn up. So do give him a hand, if you feel inclined. :)
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