I stopped doing self-harm about eight years ago. I cut my wrists. I clapped my hands until they stung. I snapped rubber bands against my skin. I slapped myself. I thought about suicide constantly. I’m still depressed; but at the same time, I’m the most optimistic person that my friends know. If I can get through today, you can too.
When I’m tempted to do self-harm, these are what I do instead. The most important part is going outside. Being indoors is very suffocating and makes you feel like you’re the only person in the world. Go outside and hear the calming sounds of nature or the lulling din of the city.
Alternatives to Self-Harm
If you’re just starting to quit or starting to quit again, make a construction paper chain of each day you’ve been self-harm free.
If you’re just starting to quit or starting to quit again, on a harmed area that is hidden by your usual clothes, draw something that flies (a butterfly, a pterodactyl, an eagle, a Charizard) and just leave it. You’ll watch it fade away (fly away) due to not harming yourself. When it’s gone, you can draw it again. You can also turn this into a creative visualization for meditation. If you have trouble picturing what drawings on skin coming alive and flying away looks like, watch any episode of the anime Mushi-Shi for inspiration.
If you’ve recently quit and you draw blood from a razor nick, stop immediately. Leave the room and slowly inhale and exhale for a couple of breaths, even if you don’t feel the panic. If possible, don’t shave your legs until you’re in a genuinely non-suicidal mood. Instead, wear a full-length skirt or pants.
When you’re in a non-suicidal mood, wax your legs or beard for that rush of pain. Don’t do it when you’re depressed because you could make dangerous mistakes.
If you think you might be starting to have an urge to cut, but aren’t quite there yet, paint your nails. If you don’t want anyone to see, remove the polish or just paint your toenails. I like making little flowers and hearts on them, even though they come out terrible. I make them for the release, not for the way they look. Picking at the polish a little might help keep oncoming urges at bay. Don’t use red polish.
Break an object that you have used for self-harm, to show that it’s not in control of you.
Stick your hands into a pile of ice for a couple seconds, or hold ice in each hand for a couple seconds. You won’t want to use your hands for anything for a while.
Rub ice on the spots that you’re tempted to harm.
Put cool or cute Band-Aids on the spots you’re tempted to harm. I can’t help but smile if Hello Kitty is smiling back at me.
Put cool or cute temporary tattoos on the spots that you want to harm, or get henna tattoos.
Go outside and draw on self-harm areas with non-toxic markers or with face paint. You can clutch the markers tightly to relieve some stress. Don’t use red markers/paint. You can draw pictures, write positive affirmations, or write inspirational quotes on the spots.
Make friendship bracelets with your best friend(s) and wear them so you think about your friend(s) when you look at your wrist. If you don’t want to do that, buy each other bracelets or wrist bands that you’d both like.
Build a sandcastle, play with play dough, or sculpt. Digging your hands into a substance gives you something to do with them when an urge is coming on. When you get that harming urge, just plunge your hands into the sand/dough/clay and knead the substance.
Go outside and meditate to noisy, clangy music. Rowdy music mimics the rowdy feelings and images you’re experiencing. Instead of destroying stuff, you can experience the feeling of destroying stuff, through the music. Then you will release it through the meditation after a couple songs. You’ll actually accomplish something instead of listening to music in bed and crying. ‘Rowdy’ music is any music that sounds rowdy to you, whether it’s death metal or emo.
Take a bite of a hot pepper or chew on a piece of ginger root.
Vigorously brush a stuffed animal that you wouldn’t mind ruining.
Vigorously scrub the dirt off potatoes. The ones you buy at the grocery store have dirt on them.
Vigorously rake leaves with a plastic rake. It’s dangerous to rake vigorously with a metal rake.
Play a fast-paced dancing video game. I use Zumba Fitness 2 for Wii and the Dance Dance Revolution series. They’re there whenever you need them and you’ll be too exhausted to do anything afterward. I like to mute them and put on my own music, even though that makes them more difficult to play.
Play fast-paced tabletop games like foosball, ping pong, or air hockey.
Tape balloons to a tree and throw darts at them.
Go outside and do archery.
Go outside and make tie-dye shirts. Gripping the sides of the paint tubes and the hypnotic spinning calm me down really quickly. Don’t use red paint.
Go outside in clothes that can get stained and splash lots of paint over lots of sheets of paper, with reckless abandon. You can then finger paint once you calm down, for stress relief. Don’t use red paint.
Rip apart paper. I find construction paper best because it’s colorful and less sharp around the edges. When you rip the paper up, you have confetti that you can toss over yourself, so you can feel like the awesome person you are.
Go outside and carve designs onto wood.
If you have to bust out the razorblades, go outside and cut into thick cardboard. Do it slowly so you don’t accidentally or ‘accidentally’ cut yourself. The cardboard cutting might help you experience the feeling of cutting without cutting, and seeing how powerful the blades are might give you pause about using them on your skin.
Slam a pillow hard against your bed, over and over. It helps get rid of the pent up stress.
Weed your garden. If you don’t have a garden but you have space for one, yank out the weeds anyway and maybe you’ll end up planting something later. Getting dirt on your hands adds to the sensory experience.
Go outside and nail nails into a wood board.
Put on goggles, go outside, and stab at a wood board with a screwdriver.
Put on goggles, go outside, and smash ice with a hammer.
Throw ice cubes at a tree.
Go outside and stomp on bubble wrap.
Go outside and stomp on aluminum cans, flattening them.
Go outside and break sticks with your hands and/or by stomping on the sticks. The wood cracking sound is very satisfying. You can toss them into a bonfire afterwards and listen to the cracking sound from the flames.
Go outside and write down or draw the things you’re upset about or the disturbing images in your mind. Burn them individually with a candle, or dump them into a bonfire all at once. Visualize your stress going away.
Go to the beach and sit near the water’s edge. On the sand, with a stick, write down or draw the things you’re upset about or the disturbing images in your mind. Watch them wash away and listen to the sounds of the ocean, as you visualize your stress going away.
BDSM. Self-harm is like alcohol abuse, while BDSM is like casual drinking. With BDSM, you’ll get the sensations without the danger. There is a time and place for BDSM, it’s done in moderate amounts, and there is someone supervising you; whereas, with self-harm, you’re tempted to binge anytime, and you do it by yourself.
prguitarman
origamiaround
blakekathryn
izzy806
titsay
vaporwave
discoholicmusic
