(I have a side blog for this but hey more people will see it here)
• BDSM does not always involve pain
• BD stands for bondage and discipline, DS stands for domination and submission, SM stands for sadism and masochism
• You don’t need all three categories for BDSM although they often overlap.
• BDSM is not always a sexual act. For example, you can tie someone up and not have sex with them before you untie them. BSDM can be like a stress relieving hobby
• Not all subs are masochists and not all dominants are sadists
• Although BDSM relationships can be abusive like any other, dominants are not inherently abusive.
• Submissive partners aren’t miserable during a scene although they might look that way
• BDSM scenes aren’t always serious. You can laugh or smile in a scene when you’re having fun.
• Dominants take care of their subs. If a sub is crying and begging and looks like they’re in terrible pain, it’s only because the sub has chosen to be in that situation. They are not being abused.
• You can practice self-bondage, you don’t necessarily need a partner
• Aftercare is a thing. Picture a D/s pair cuddling and comforting each other after a scene where the D whipped the s. You always care for each other afterwards
• Dominants are not always cruel
• Basically BDSM isn’t the violent abusive thing it is often seen as
• But also don’t just jump into it. Before you try BDSM with a partner or alone, research safe words, different roles, red flags in a D/s relationship, signs your bondage is hurting you, and physical signs that mean your scene needs to stop immediately (like numb hands, blurry vision, etc)
• Google Safe, Sane and Consensual or Risk Aware Consensual Kink for more info on how BDSM can be a healthy thing that doesn’t hurt anyone
Hope this helps some people better understand BDSM!
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titsay
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