The recent incidents tripped me. I thought I knew myself, but I don't. I thought I was ready for the future, but I'm not. The word "forever" turned out to be thrilling to the extent that I ran away. Why? Maybe because it's too long to be spent with wrong person? I don't know. But I want to know and I want to fix it.
All these times, I went in autopilot, I relied on it too much. Days passed by so fast, all I did was shallow thingy and my mistake is I seldom reflect and have a dialogue with my own self. All shallow things in me. I didn't know I was afraid and not ready bcs previously I brought it up in my past, I didn't feel the same way.
But, on positive note, I am glad these happened before my oath. Before all others problems piled up and it's too late or it's difficult to decipher.
All I know, I need to focus on myself for now before I move to next step. I am now cheering myself up.
I always hate it when the dusk comes, because the sinking of the sun is a simple reminder for me to stop working, and that it is time for things other than work.
While, that âthings other than workâ is even more difficult than the the work itself. How is it not difficult, when youâre using all your mindpower to solve it, when you try to solve it with any formula and theory you can think about, but no answer is coming?
One of my (current) favorite singers, Ify Alyssa, just released her first album last October 16, which titled Pelita Lara #PelitaLara.Â
I never hesitates to buy physical release of my favorites musician, because I think it is a form of appreciation to the musicians. So, Ify is no exception, and even a deliberate one. Previously, Ify has released some singles (which are now also included in this album), and I love it that much. In addition, her music is musically rich and beautiful. These explains why Iâm eager to buy the physical album. So, here I am, buying her CD without thinking too much, lol. In fact, I was even afraid the CD got sold out that fast, so I decided to hurry.Â
Then, my impulsive action brought me to the (online) pre-launch exclusive hearing session. The lucky 100 persons (or 70 persons? if Iâm not mistaken) who bought the boxset and/or CD were chosen to attend the session. And Iâm glad Iâm one of them (FYI, I can get very lucky in terms of quizzes or trivial things like these lol). Although Ify didnât sing at all at the event (we listened to recorded album, as in the CD), we all got a chance to ask anything to Ify, either by chat or by speaking directly (or indirectly via internet, if that make sense lol).
Enough with the backgrounds, and letâs continue to album review. So, the CD comes in a pop-up cover. Although the pop-up form is not unique, I seldom see (in fact, I have never seen) such pop-up album cover. Mine has Ifyâs autograph in front of the cover (I was the luck 100 persons).
The album contains 11 tracks; 7 of them have been released before as single in digital platforms (because this is just a short and simple review, you can check her Spotify to know the full song track). 4 years is the time period for Ify to produce this album, so I think it began when she entered her undergrad. And the 4 years of her hard work is paid off because this album shows and highlights her great musicality as a composer, musician, and singer.
Most of the songs has strong piano elements, as Ify is also the pianist in most of the track, and as she composed her music firstly through piano. Sheâs also supported by Gerald Situmorang (GeSit), as the producer, so the album also has that GeSitâs vibe (you can notice this when youâre a listener of Monita, GeSit, and Barasuara - you can grasp Barasuaraâs vibe on the last track: Pelita Lara). My most personal favorite songs are:Â Paper Kites -Â this is the song in the video, an instrumental song that Ify composed for her undergrad assignment; and Bermain Hujan -Â Sri Hanuraga on point! It also reminds me of my childhood, and yes, perfect to be listened when it rains!.
I think I will stop my short review by giving this album 5 out of 5 stars. If youâre interested in acoustic music which has strong piano element, and accompanied by soft voice, I think thereâs a high possibility you will like this album. So, please give this album a shot, you can listen it via Spotify here.
My sister got married last weekend, on such unique date 2020/10/10. Sheâs been in a steady relationship for about 7 years and she finally tied the knot with the man she loves. In terms of committed relationship, sheâs one step ahead of me, for sure. Am I sad because of it? No, of course. If you know me well, Iâm not that clingy in terms of so-called lifetime partner. So, when she asked for my permission (srsly though I wonder why big sisâ permission is needed), I said, âGo aheadâ undoubtedly. Never did I know that those 2 words brings a big change to my life.
Born 4 years before her, when I was kid, I didnât find the relationship with my sis is that close. We went to the same kindergarten and elementary school, we usually went to school and went back home together, but I didnât find it that special. Sheâs a more cheerful person, though not that super-cheerful. While, Iâm the more serious one. We went to different junior and senior high - I went to top-rated schools in town, while she went to lower-rated schools. Among my extended family, sheâs a more favorited and a popular kid than I was, lol. I didnât hate it, but didnât love it as well.
After high school, she spent 4 years away from home for undergrad in Purwokerto. In that period, she met the man whoâs now her husband. And also, in that period, I think she grew to a more mature version of herself. In this case, I agree that being away from home trains us how to survive independently, since we have to start from zero, without much help from others. In that approximately same period as well, I spent my 2 years in Jogja and 0.5 years in Tokyo for my master. In the last 1 year before my graduation, after she graduated, she went back home and start career in Greater Jakarta.Â
I suppose that the last 1 year of my master period is a tough period for her, since she had to be away from home (her office was quite far from home, so she rented a room nearby, and go back home once in a week), as well as taking care of my parents from afar. So, after I came back to Indonesia, she seemed so happy because she has someone to share. It all began from a sushi date with her to ease my sadness and my loneliness after my Tokyo story. Well, I was practically at one of my lowest points of life (Tokyo life came to and end, not yet having a proper job, dealing with brokenheart, etc.). So, she asked if I want to hang out to a sushi place in order to have my appetite back. How sweet of her <3 It turned into a sharing session, a âsister timeâ session, and it turns to be regular monthly Sister Time. This event was one of the times Iâm always looking forward to every month, before pandemic strikes.Â
Another story about her is cat-related story. So, we pet some domestic cats at home. We really really love them that sometimes we got crazy because of them: we love to talk with them. I think itâs her initiative that everytime I talk to our cat, she will answer me by dubbing the cat, mimicking how our cat will answer if asked such questions. And so it goes until now, when I talk to cat, she will dub my cat to answer, and vice versa. Crazy? Well, I donât care.
In some past years, our relationship turns to be a very special sisterhood. Iâm the one sheâs looking for when seeking for design and fashion advices. Sheâs the one Iâm looking for when I have to clear my head. We will run to each othersâ room when thereâs an online flash sale of our most wanted stuffs, or when weâd like to gossip about our parents and family, lol.
Well, long story short, now you know why I mentioned âNever did I know that those 2 words brings a big change to my lifeâ before. Not that Iâm not happy for her; not that I turned to disapprove her marriage; not that I feel ashamed because Iâm not yet married. Because, yes, after sheâs married, she decided to live with her husband in a separated house. Well, itâs not really far from our home, but still, I cannot just run to her room everytime thereâs a flash sale lol. Practically my days would never be the same again *sobs.
To my dearest lil sis, if you read this, we would like to say congratulations on your wedding <3 You know that although I, Ochil, Miu, Biki and others will miss you so much, we are sincerely happy for your new life. I know that things will never be the same, for sure, but please donât forget us, because we love you so much.
Yes, it is January of 2020. And yes, I did not write anything on 2019. However, I want to leave a digital path for my future self.
So, I will just write my 2019 in a brief:
Finally out from a governmental organization.
This left me a mixed feeling. Though, honestly I do not prefer to work inside a governmental organization, this job has been a way I filled my days since August 2017. During that time, I looked for maaaaany ways (read: other job) so that I could finally resign proudly. However, it did not come true until the day the organization being reorganized; my contract automatically came to an end - though my boss offered me another position in the other part of the same organization.
I thought that this is the only way I could freely resign without any guilty feelings whatsoever. Oh an one theory I believe is true is that: I failed many interviews and test because unconsciously, I feel that I still have this job as safety net anyway, so it is okay to fail - while actually it is really not okay.
So-called freelancing phase
Trying my best to draw, draw and draw, finding ways as a freelance illustrator while looking for my dream job. Then, freelancing as research assistant for a doctoral study of my friendâs dad-in-law. One thing I learn is that being a freelancer needs a great self-discipline - not having office hour does not mean I donât have to work. It was a hard time but really worth to remember - also remembering the late Mr. Unggul.
Landed a job at Japanese organization
People might say I am obsessed with Japan, but who cares? I like the culture and how they work, so here I am, taking advantage of my quite long experience in governmental organization to be able to work here.
I like how I get to work every second, less unoccupied time, but I am happy, especially because the organization really appreciates the staffs.
There were a lot of things going on in 2018, for sure, but one thing I want to highlight since it brings a quite big change in my daily life is my 2018 Best Buy. Let me tell you how it goes first. So on November 11th, many e-commerces in Indonesia claimed a sale that was such an online shopping fiesta blahblah. I actually didnât need anything at that time, but I was just surfing to Shoppee just to find any good deal available (see how crazy such campaign makes people be!), BAD. Worse thing is: it was 3 a.m., time when I was supposed to sleep, but what I did was scrolling through Shoppeeâs flash sale, LOL.
There I find this baby there:
Yesss, right, my best buy was not a summer dress, nor pair of high heels, but Koi Water Color (and I found it at 3 a.m., absurd enough?). Actually I have always wanted to buy this baby for a quite long time ago, but I kept doubting myself because I have some other sets of watercolor, but I didnât really use it in daily, or even monthly basis haha. Recently, I try to think deeply about things Iâm gonna buy because I donât want to pile up things at home anymore, and this stuff includes in the things Iâm considering buying but then I havenât decided to buy (before the flash sale, at least). And actually, the price was not that crazy cheap that it was sold out in a second. But then, the thought stroke me in a sec that I decided to buy it (plus other art supplies).
My justification was
âokay Iâm so gonna buy this so that I can easily draw and paint everywhere (since my available paint was student-grade tube paint, and low-grade pan watercolor), and I promised my friend to make an illustration of her and her hubby, so yeah... I gotta buy thisâ.
I thought it was just kind of another broken promise to myself. Turned out it is not! This Koi baby turns to be a magic booster for me. After adopting it, I was gradually able to gather my broken passion in drawing-painting-illustrating. Below is recent situation of my illustration using Koi baby:
1. Never-clean palette. Just because I can reuse the paint on the surface again any other day. And because, sometimes itâs difficult to get the color mix (yes I donât use paint straight from the pans, but rather mixing it first with other color to get certain vibe).
2. Stained paintâs pans surface. After tapping to a color and put it in the palette, I mix it with other colors without cleaning the brush first. So, here it is. Itâs actually can be cleaned by wiping the surface with damp tissue.
3. Unbranded brushes. Yes, the most expensive brushes that I own is Reeves, Lyra Giotto, and Princeton. Yet, I think the quality of Lyra Giotto is not really good (or it might simply doesnât suit me?). The rest of the brush is Joyko, Trifelo (a set of very cheap brush I found at Togamas Jogja).
4. Souvenir from a friendâs wedding. I rarely use water brush whenever Iâm able to use cup to wash my brushes. I think the traditional brush is more precise, however the water brush can cover wide range of diameter indeed, but I just donât prefer water brush when it is not outdoor or in a travel situation.
And oh, my portfolio is in Instagram here, and Behance here. Please follow if you donât mind. I put most of my watercolor in Instagram, but the concept for now is a single stuff with a white background and mixed with Japanese writing/translation.
Recently, I also bring this palette with me to office. So whenever I have nothing to do, I can paint instead scrolling through Instagram. Oh and I might keep updating this Tumblr with my illustration :D Banzai, banzai. ăăă°ăăŸăïŒ
Previously, Ministry of Communication and Informatics in my country banned Tumblr for the so-called porn-related post on Tumblr (according to them). So Iâve been absent in writing for some months (or might be a year?). It was pretty annoying to find other new platform to write and share because no platform has UI as convenient as Tumblr does. Not to mention, I cannot restore my old posts back which contain my writing history (though not that much) and memories (lol!). Plus, I should start from zero, including setting the design up (well, I donât mind designing but working with design + html takes plenty of time), and adapting to the platformâs template and UI which might be less convenient than one in Tumblr.
So finally, last week I heard that Ministry of Communication and Informatics decides to remove the block for Tumblr. I guess itâs because of the above-attached change on Tumblr. Whatever the reason is, I couldnât be happier! Annddd... this mark the new year with the new Tumblr!
Just remember, life is a box of cookies. You know how theyâve got these cookie assortments, and you like some but you donât like others? And you eat up all the ones you like, and the only ones left are the ones you donât like so much? I always think about that when something painful comes up. âNow i just have to polish these off, and everythingâll be O.K.â Life is a box of cookies.
If something happens, if there is just too much noisy thoughts, if I'm worry about a thing I can't control, the best and most effective solution would be: listen to the music, sing, dance; do a lot of physical activities. This has been proven to be true for so many times. It's like, that things above wipe the worries away. All that left is joy and peace, and I'll be ready to do better.
Penulis asal Jepang ini mungkin tidak bisa dikatakan 100% penulis favorit, karena selama ini saya hanya pernah membaca karyanya satu kali (itupun belum selesai). Namun, sejak lama saya sudah dibuat sangat penasaran oleh Haruki Murakami akan Norwegian Wood, novel yang judulnya diambil dari salah satu judul lagu the Beatles. Waktu itu, saya urung membelinya karena yang saya temukan baru novel terjemahan Bahasa Indonesianya saja (about this: saya kurang suka membaca buku karya pengarang asing dalam Bahasa Indonesia, karena bahasanya terkesan kaku dan saya kurang dapat menggambarkan scene yang dideskripsikan dalam otak saya), namun belum setertarik itu untuk membeli versi Bahasa Inggrisnya (ya jelas, Bahasa Inggris, karena saat ini belum memungkinkan untuk membaca novel berbahasa Jepang).
1Q84, Buku 1
Karya Murakami yang pertama saya baca, yang, ehm, sebenarnya sedang saya baca (dan belum selesai dibaca) saat ini adalah 1Q84. Novel ini saya âtemukanâ di Perpustakaan Japan Foundation; awalnya saya iseng mencoba membaca salah satu buku Murakami dari yang tersedia, dan kisah Aomame terjebak di kemacetan tol di Tokyo membuat saya merecall masa-masa di Jepang (alias menolak move on lagi!). Oh, salah satu fakta unik mengenai novel ini: Q dalam judul tersebut merupakan plesetan angka sembilan (9), yang dalam Bahasa Jepang adalah âkuâ atau âkyuuâ. 1Q84 artinya 1984, setting waktu dalam novel ini.
Sejauh yang saya ketahui berdasarkan opini orang lain dan yang saya baca sendiri dalam 1Q84, Murakami adalah penulis yang agak nyeleneh; di Indonesia mungkin setipe dengan Ayu Utami (well, walaupun saya hanya pernah membaca satu bukunya). Ide-idenya liar dan nyerempet gila. Dalam novelnya ini, ia juga âmenyelipkanâ beberapa music piece yang membuat saya penasaran dan akhirnya mendengarkannya via Youtube. Menurut saya, ini ide yang baik untuk menarik pembaca untuk mendengarkan musik tersebut, yang pada akhirnya membantu penulis untuk membangun suasana yang ia inginkan pada scene tersebut. Well, sejauh ini, baru itu yang bisa saya sampaikan karena 1Q84 ini masih jauh dari kata selesai (Buku 1-halaman 60/387). Yang dapat saya pastikan, saya akan menyelesaikan 1Q84 dan membaca Murakami lain.
My phoneâs wallpaper, to remind me that Iâm great and strong no matter whatâs going to happen next, to keep my spirit up that I can do a lot greater, and everything will be allright.
This has been proven to be true: everytime I get sad to an extent that I cannot hold it by myself anymore, there usually will be a new great journey ahead that will level me up. And now, I really can't wait for it and for where and how far it will bring me to.
Donât Know Why, a song by Norah Jones that has always been soothing for me. Listening this song to me feels like standing on a private beach, contemplating about life, and suddenly feeling recharged.
Japanâs Exchange Life (1): (Almost) Lost My Phone
Japan is an extremely safe country, and I have a proof. I almost lost my phone in Japan but finally found it. How? When?
Soooo, I was in a trip sequence to Nagoya - Kyoto - Nara - Osaka during school winter break, December 2016, with fellow exchange students from Indonesia (Fariz, Andrew, Shabrina, Iffa, Liska, Tiwi, and Tasha). That day was the time to explore Kyoto, starting from Kiyomizudera Temple, Fushimi Inari Taisha, and some culinary spots. The first stop was Kiyomizudera Temple, a very well-known temple at the end of sloppy road. You can see almost the whole Kyoto from the top. It was beautiful, though temple in Japan is a very common thing to visit. FYI, to enter the outer area is free, but entering the museum costs 500 JPY. On the sloping street, there are many souvenir shops (this is the favorite spot!), which sells not only souvenir, but also food (yay!). Thing is, most of the shops give food sample for free; and since Kyoto is famous for its matcha, much of the food omiyage (how you call âoleh-olehâ or souvenir in Japanese) is matcha-flavored. Superluv!
Kiyomizudera Temple
Okay back to the main topic, after visiting Kiyomizudera, the next spot was Fushimi Inari Taisha, which is very very famous for the torii gate (the gate with thousands of red pillars). To reach Fushimi Inari Taisha from Kiyomizudera, you can ride train or bus. But since that day we got one-day bus pass, so we decided to take the bus. Guided by GoogleMaps, we reached a quite-weird bus stop. Weird because: it was located barely at the roadside, no sign of bus stop other than a traffic sign, and no bus passed by! It was very windy and cold (however I miss it so much!), so we decided to go to the nearest train station to ride the train. I did not 100% agree since weâve already got the bus pass, and that was kinda a waste of money, but in the end, I joined them because the bus wouldnât seem to come.
Long story short, we finally took the train. And that time, I was a bit mad (because I really had to take the train), plus I brought so many stuff: backpack, camera bag, and a small bag of omiyage from kiyomizudera; I tidied them up inside the train, and tadaaa finally arrived at Fushimi Inari Station. Fushimi Inari was very very beautiful, one of the most beautiful spot in Japan. I like how visitor can climb to the top (easy climb with stair steps, though, come on, itâs Japan), itâs like a combination of heritage trip plus hiking trip. I highly recommend this spot for sure. We spent like 4 or 5 hours here. I, Andrew, and Fariz climbed up to the top, and that was breathtaking!
So, it was the time to go back, and I suddenly felt the urge to check my phone. And this was when I find out that I donât have my phone with me. I remembered I didnât use my phone at all to take pictures at Fushimi Inari. So, the hypothesis was that I lost it on the train to Fushimi Inari, especially because I was busy with my stuffs and that a-bit-mad feeling also took part. Then we tracked down my phone, it was located at Gion Station (probably somebody found it on the train and handed to the nearest station). To confirm, we checked to an officer at Fushimi Inari Station, we reported that I have lost my phone. The officer asked how the phone looked like (color, model, brand), what time approximately I lost my phone, and in what train (from where and heading to where). He checked the list of lost and found report and said, no such report filed at that time. Once again, we tried and said that the phone locator said that the phone is at Gion Station. He checked to the station by phone, and, once again, said, unfortunately no such report filed.
I was kinda very very hopeless and wanted to crash my head to the wall (okay this is hyperbolic) when I rode the train to Gion Station. However, since the phoneâs locator said it was in Gion, itâs not possible that the phone is unoccupied in the middle of nowhere. At Gion Station, we, again, contacted the office, and the officer asked âOh youâre the one who was from Fushimi Inari Station, I donât have your phone with me.â Hearing that sentence, I was like going to faint haha. But we insisted that the phone was there, we showed the locator, and he asked the phoneâs characteristics once again; we mentioned the color, the type and the brand. He asked, âis there any cover or casing?â. Well, turned out we forgot to mention the casing of the phone. âYes, it has brown leather casing, like a book!â. Then here we goooo, he handed me the phone. I was really really glad that Iâm not losing my phone, âYokatta. Doumo arigatou gozaimasu nee!â It was a very great relief that my vacation did not turn into a disaster. After that, the officer asked my Zaryu Card (foreign citizen identification card), and ask me to fill a document stating that Iâve lost my personal thing and already found and got the thing.
See? Japan is an extremely safe country, and honestly Iâm really impressed in how safe it can be. However, that doesnât mean that you can forget thing as you want; remember to keep an eye to all your belongings when you are on a trip to Japan, and: donât get mad while on a trip (lol)! But in case you forget something, hopefully you will find it, just because itâs Japan :)
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