If only I could be as cool as you

Rantings of a delirious mind

[montymayo]

Ladies & Gentlemen.

Katahimikan muna para mas mabusisi natin malaman ang mga bagay bagay. Magkikita tayo ulit kaibigan.

Paalam.

[montymayo]

Exactly Seven Hundred Twenty Hours Ago.

Email is the new viber.

Black is the new blue.

You were once mine.

She is the new you.

[montymayo]

Sir, I just wanna say thank you. You saved my life.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Sir, I just wanna say thank you. You saved my life.

- Timo Cruz. C.C.

Monday 6:02 AM Dec. 2, 2013.

[montymayo]

Treat December without the judgement of November.

7:21 AM MNL 12.1.13

What is green and invisible?

This lettuce. :)

The constant struggle/battle between sense & senseless will never cease. Holding on to cobwebs. Letting go of the judgement. First of the month. Thrash away the past. 11 months < 1 month. Everything matters. Regain your confidence. Believe in the system. Change the game don't let the game change you. Who you are and what you do does not define you. What you are not and what you don't do should never scare you.

"God is a forgiving God. Be forgiving. God is a faithful God, Be faithful."

I am all the days that you wish to ignore. It's easy to cast people. Slim, stout, righteous, proud. Gay, straight, right or wrong. At the end of the day everything is temporary. 20 is the new 30, 30 is the new 20. Don't fucking care with you & what you think. Because you are irrelevant to what is relevant to me. But believe me when I say this that for one brief moment that you were part of something significant you became addicted to relevance. Congratulations, you are now a witness to my empire.

If I changed into a butterfly you'd admire me. But if a changed into a fly, would you still?

"Forget about the fame, I'll forever remain faithful. Stay true."

What is green and invisible?

Me. :)

fin 7:34 AM

[montymayo]

Yon Nga Lang Pa Log Tutu Ma.

Minsan may mga araw na ayaw mo matapos. Masasabi mo pa na kulang ang gabi kasi kailangan mo na iuwi ang kasama mo. Kailangan mo itabi yung libro na tinatapos mo. Kailangan mo na patayin ang tv kahit di pa tapos ang pinapanuod mo. Bakit kaya ganon? Sa loob ng bente kwatro oras sa isang araw lagi na lang tumitigil ang bawat sandali na masaya/malungkot tayo.

Normal naman to diba?

May araw at gabi, may a at b. May nakaw na sandali, may tama at mali. Sino tayo para husgahan ang mga bagay bagay at mga sitwasyon na taga abiso lamang tayo. Ang hirap noh? Masaya ka dahil masaya yung tao. Malungkot ka dahil malungkot yung tao. Katarantaduhan. Pero dati yun kasi di pa kasi nangyayari sakin. Hindi ko na alam kung alam ko pa ba yung ginagawa ko kasi parang ngayon lang ako nawalan ng control sa mga sitwasyon. Sobrang saya.

Salamat.

Minsan may mga araw na ayaw mo matapos. Lalo na pag kausap kita. Mas lalo na pag kasama kita.

Normal naman to diba?

Tulog nako ha.

[montymayo]

Hihihi

Aba nakakakilig naman yon.

She who rhymes with Why Why Why :)

Goodnight MNL. :)

[montymayo]

The Very First.

Alabang 11.28.13 3:42 AM

Familiar places. Familiar people. Familiar words. Familiar feelings.

Yes, I knew it wasn't going to be that easy but hey I'm trying my best here. Yesterday started quite well. Played a few games of basketball and then had a good chit chat with a friend. But as I start to prepare for my first gig since I got back from the US I knew from the get go that it was going to be a long hard fucking night.

First was picking up some of my guardian angels from a very familiar place. Mas mabuti nga na dun ko sila sinundo kaysa dun sa isa na mas pamilyar. Hehehehe. Familiar people indeed, last time I got to talk to them was almost a month ago.

Ahh, we talked nonstop about the last time we were in the same room together. Familiar words were exchanged. It's very obvious to them that I'm putting up my wall. My defense mech. I'm not that strong as you may assume. I'm as confused as them. But this is not an excuse. This is not a white flag. Fuck you if you think I'm giving up that easily. Let me handle this and let me take care of my shit. Just because I'm quiet that doesn't mean that I don't give a fuck about "you". Pagbigyan mo nako yan na lang ang melon ako ay meron ako.

The first gig after my vacation went well actually. I was struggling with the first 2 songs but as soon as I felt some familiar feelings I was able to finish the set with a smile. These are just songs. My songs. It doesn't mean a thing to me any more. I'm just happy that I'm still relevant. On our drive home with my guardian angels I suddenly realized that I'm going into familiar territory. It reminded of everything. And everything is still you.

I'm happy that you're happy. Forgive me friends If I say otherwise because this is my coping mechanism. But I truly am. Please stay this way.             

For me. :)

Familiar places. Familiar people. Familiar words. Familiar feelings.                 Because you will always be familiar to me.

fin 3:52 AM.

[montymayo]

Home is where the heart/hurt is.

Wednesday, November 27. 1:31 AM MNL time.

Yes folks MNL time. :)

9 hours and 50 minutes from SFO to JPN and then another 4 hours and 40 minutes from JPN to MNL.

What can I say... Mainit! :) I quickly realized that I was home when I heard a familiar phrase.."Idol" (Naks cool hahahahaha). Okay I'm home now.

Nakakatakot. Indeed. I've never been in this kind of situation wherein I don't know what to do or what to expect. Hindi ako sanay ng hindi nagplaplano or walang back up plan.

Sa tagal tagal ng biyahe isa lang masasabi ko. Ang dami pang mangyayare. Kung ang pasensya ng tao ay pinagbibigyan ng pagkakataon walang imposibleng bagay ang pwede mong makamit.

I think it's all about having faith. Minsan kasi pagnakikita mo kung gano kalawak yung dagat natatakot ka na agad. Ang importante ay yung una mong hakbang. Sobrang wala nang natira sakin, BAHALA NA. Ang approach ko. Nakakatawa nga kasi baka ikaw/kayo pa yung malungkot/natatakot/nanghihina. Wala yan. Ako din ganyan. Pero FIGHT lang.

Home is where heart is, because in familiarity you can be deceived. With attachment and with devotion you will be disappointed. But in the end as long as you've done everything in your power. Never regret. Kaya siguro ako nagsisisi. :)

"Be with someone who makes you better."

Totoo yan. Sobrang natuto ako sa lahat. Dahil sayo.

Home is where the hurt is.

Hanggang sa muli. :)

fin 1:44 am MNL time.

[montymayo]

Nandito kung san ko gusto, Ayoko nang umalis. :)

San Francisco International Airport 11/25/13 9:32 am

Ahhh kamusta ka aking kaibigan?

Recap tayo. Nakarating ako dito mga halos labing limang araw na ang nakalipas. Wala akong masabi. Sakto. Kinailangan ko to. Sobra. Wala akong masabi kungdi para akong nabunutan ng tinik. Lagi pala talagang may dahilan ang lahat ng bagay. May paalala sayo ang tadhana na nagkaroon ng pagkakataon na hindi ka naging tunay na nilalang.

Masaya yun kasi tunay. Hindi perpekto pero tunay. Oo tarantado na kung sa tarantado pero legit motherF since 83. PUTANGINA pagkakita ko first time ko talaga naramdaman na BLANKO. Wala. Maayos yan, pero pilit.

Kahapon kinilig ako for the first time since I dunno since nung may nagmamahal pa sakin? Hahahaha. Seryoso. Ang sarap kasi akala ko na trap nako. Akala ko di nako makakaramdam non. Gago makakalipad na. SA FUCKING WAKAS. Hahahaha arte :) Alam kong imposible pero ayos din kasi saya. Ibig sabihin may PAGKAKATAON na ulit. Antay lang ako tamang oras. Ika nga ng katxt ko araw araw Timing lang yan.

Nawawala na paunti unti yung galit ko. Ibig sabihin nga baka pauwi nako. Ayoko pa, gusto ko na lumipat talaga dito. Gusto ko na talaga magsimula ulit. Sawa nako pasayahin kayo. Panahon na para pasayahin ko na sarili ko. In conclusion all I can say is I am excited. For anything and everything that will happen in the 6-12 months. This will be a defining moment in my life. Sasabihin mo na naman panay ako? Teka asan ka ba diba blog ko? My life. Hihihihi :)

"Everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay, it's not the end."

fin 9:48 am SFIA.

[montymayo]

Say Something (2013 AMAs)

A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera performing "Say Something" live at the 2013 American Music Awards. © 2013 Dick Clark Productions

Listen carefully you piece of shit. :)

[montymayo]

One last ranting befor I fuc..oh PACK my things.

(In a very posh british accent...)

Bloody brilliant, you are.

Thank you 3-4 days into the wild you initiate the Com-arts. Bewildered, you are. I know. Everybody fucking knows.

As soon as the trigger is pulled you return as you forget the predicament. Un-fucking-fair.

Now that I'm on a U-turn you jump off the cliff. Thank you.

Thank you very much. :)

(In a very posh British accent)

[montymayo]

American Authors - Best Day Of My Life (Acoustic)

Download our Self-Titled Debut EP - http://smarturl.it/iAAEP Sign Up: http://smarturl.it/SUAmericanAuthors For upcoming tour dates, visit - http://smarturl.i...

Finally I'm over you. :)

[montymayo]

The truth behind prayers and/or wishes.

Pag may hiniling ka ba sa Diyos, kay Jesus, kay Tinkerbell or sa Fairy Godmother mo tingin mo bibigay nya yun sayo?

HINDI.

Pag humiling ka ng lakas ng loob hindi nya yun bibigay sayo.

Pag humiling ka ng lovelife hindi nya bibigay sayo.                              

Pag humiling ka ng peace of mind hindi nya bibigay sayo.

SAGOT

Ang ibibigay nya palagi sa atin ang PAGKAKATAON na matupad lahat ng hiling mo.

[montymayo]

irrelevance

Kung totoo yan di ka dapat malungkot.

[montymayo]

Benjie.

Kahit anong gawin mo talaga kahit akala mo na, hinding hindi ka magiging masaya. :)

Yehey! :)

[montymayo]

2nd post in 24 hours

Putangina mo.

Hahahahahahahahahaha :))

Brad makisama ka naman, konting pag mamalasakit lang naman sana jan. Puta pinaghirapan ko yan sabay ikaw magmamatigas ka jan? Gago ka abangan kita sa labas sige ka. Bigyan mo yan ng importansya mahina pa naman yan.

Swag don't come cheap.

[montymayo]

Before Breakfast

7:31 am San Francisco time

Sa POV ni Glissandra alam kong f mo na smeeth na lahat. Lalong lalo na nagiigib ka ng marmol sa katauhan ko. Pero dahan dahanin mo yung pag tanggal nung sumpa.

Sa totoo lang alam na alam mong nabigwasan ka. Ni minsan di mapupuno ng ilam ang atam.

"Kain na tayo..." Ang sabi ni Justice.

Hanggang sa muli.

7:35 am San Francisco time.