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@montywonmom
The longer Bayden remained in Rowan's body the more depressed he became. This was a boy with major depression anyway and becoming Rowan wasn't the freedom or release he hoped it would be.
Valentine's Day ended up being the big kicker. Holidays were hard. They had gone to the Valentine's party in the community room like a robot on autopilot and felt zero emotions the entire night. He couldn't handle one holiday more without his family's traditions.
The spite that wanted to run away was lost. He had nowhere to run. He used to have places to run where ghosts knew him. Maybe it wasn't ideal, but at least he was wanted at the Hotel Cortez. No one would recognize them like this. Could he run away and start new? Sure. But apparently his attachments were here. He couldn't let go. Try as he might to let go. He loved. Fuck.
He was resigned to the idea he was stuck like this. How many times he'd been bullied when he was younger and been called a girl he couldn't count. Now he really was one. This Bayden in a Rowan suit's depression was becoming suicidal. The ideation was extreme. They imagined all sorts of ways they could do it. The only reason they hadn't acted on it yet was this small sliver of hope Celestis would figure out something, teach them how to switch bodies again. All his life since the incarceration he'd wished to be anyone but himself. Absolutely anyone. Now all he wanted in the whole world was to be Bayden S. Wardeyn again. He'd take all his own problems back just to get his family to recognize him again.
They stood outside on the porch of Rowan's cottage. It faced their own where he used to live. It was right over there, just a short walk, and he couldn't live there anymore, not in this body. Their heart was breaking.
They were homesick.
Then they saw their own body step out on what used to be their porch. They hadn't talked to Celestis since Valentine's Day. Every time they heard Celestis be called by his name and answer to his name it nearly made his sick. They had to admit they were curious how Valentine's went. They were just too heartbroken before to ask. They gave them a little wave.
They couldn't bring themselves to walk over there. It hurt too much to go near the home he couldn't have. They waved them over. It was all they could handle.
@saltyxtides
MONTGOMERY WARDEYN && DR. WARDEYN.
She was going through the motions of their dance when suddenly a necklace was dropped into her hand. This began a whole slew of strangeness. It was cheap, but only because the spoon was found for free? Not that Monty knew that. It just looked cheap to her. If the spoon it was made from came from the Doctor Wardeyn's home their mother would surely recognize the pattern and eventually question how he'd gotten it turned into such artwork as they didn't exactly have access to such precise bending or buffing tools inside the asylum at his disposal. They aren't exactly giving hammers and hacksaws to patients. It wasn't exactly cheap nor easy for a patient to send it out and have custom jewelry made either. As luck would have it she was tipsy now and paid no mind to the necklace on her daughter.
Monty however did not recognize it. Like she cares what's in the attic, her mother's precious, boring, garbage, that collected dust. So, she accepted it for now and let him put it around her neck to be nice to her brother. She smiled here with every bit of excitement her brother was giving her a gift. She leaned in and whispered, "I love you." Then she pulled back and rolled her eyes like she was trying to say it where their mother wouldn't hear because she didn't want her making a fuss out of them being sweet. They both knew she would and ew neither of them needed anymore of that. "All your moments are dramatic, my boy." Jude teased her son back with a big smile enjoying his presense.
The mother and daughter pair finished their dance and Monty held the heart necklace in her hand and winked as she said, "Night Bay." She gave it a little shake as a reminder she cared and it was another way to give him another thank you for it and show appreciation. "I will." She said about the phone on the way out to the garage. She'd sit in the car and the sight of the Penguin would actually make her jump. She'd scream, "BAY!" It'd be heard from inside the garage all the way into the house.
Jude would stare at her son with one of those "what did you do now" Mom faces. Then she'd just shake her head as she heard the car back out and the garage door go back down. Whatever it was Monty didn't come back in furious so she'd let it go. It made Jude laugh.
"Oh you two."
She was squeezing and rubbing over her son's forearms which were currently wrapped around her from behind. Celestis was right. It was a Bayden thing to do. She tilted her head into him and enjoyed the moment a little longer.
She wouldn't notice Bayden messing with her drink. Good thing. It'd change her fast. Happy tipsy would turn to mean.
"Yes darling. Of course." She'd turn around in his arms and embrace him in a big warm hug instead of just close enough to dance.
A mother/son dance would occur next and no one could tell Jude he wasn't the best partner to ever step in with her.
The little problem Celeste had gotten herself into by cohercing Monty to bring them to the main house was what could have been a quick visit and done became a spend the night with Jude because she wasn't going to driving him back to the asylum in this condition. No one else did these off the record trips off property except Monty and Jude. She had paid off security but it wasn't like every move wasn't risky. When leaks happened more bodies happened. Monty was on a date. She might not even be back till late or the next day. They really hadn't thought this through unless they wanted to be back in Bayden's house for some reason other than checking in on Jude.
It might start to sink in as they danced and she would say, "I love our slumber parties." She'd move his hair. "I'll make a snack tray and we'll watch tv in bed all night again. I'll catch you up on my stories right where we left off. Days of our Lives is off the rails. You won't believe what's going on with John Black. Ohhh, the pawn card is back." She was ready for Bayden to gasp in a no way sort of way because this would have been a big deal in the story they were both following.
More tales the real Bayden wouldn't have admitted to Celestis without provocation, that he cuddles up with his Mom to binge watch day time tv on Peacock to bond with his mother.
As they swayed to the song she'd also say, "And you can tell me how things are going with you dear. And that little friend of yours. Classy. She's so adorable. The cliffs wouldn't be the same without her." She meant Clarrissa of course, "Oh and the other one. The one you always make the Valentine's for. The one you said was pretty. Miss Rowan."
And there's one the real Bayden would want to slit his mother's throat for. Oh the condundrum of that one considering they'd never been anything more than friends for literally years and the real Bayden now knows Celestis actually hates Rowan's face.
-------
In Monty's car, as she was driving, she was on the phone with one of her girlfriend's telling them they were finally on their way to hit up their date.
"Family interference. Yeah, I know. You know how it is for me. It's like all I ever do is spend my time helping the needy. Charity work exhausts me. I'm just too good a person. I know, thanks. He's just so sad. It's not my fault if he didn't have me he'd kill himself. You're right. I should do more for myself. My mother expects way too much out of me. I'm in the prime of my youth. I should be living. I get he's my brother, but I don't know why he's my problem. Anyway, text me in 15 in case this guy bores me, show up, make him think he's getting lucky. We'll make him buy us both dinner for being a loser."
She'd get off the phone and then look in the mirror when she'd park. She'd notice the necklace and get a better look at it now that she wasn't dancing around with Bayden. It was cheap. She grumbled out loud to herself, "Probably turn my neck green." Then she pulled it off and threw it in the glove box before going in. ( @montywonmom )
Being trapped in Bayden's body — they were barely keeping up with the familiar but utterly foreign rhythm of dancing together when they gave MONTGOMERY — the p e n d a n t.
To Montgomery it just looked CHEAP && k i t s c h y — a fitting gift from a quirky older brother. Though silver from 1937 was pure material. Unfortunately wasted on Montgomery. While they did a lot of the shaping back during CHRISTMAS in the dead of n i g h t in the garage hoping to snag the computer but it was never the right moment.
But the filing? That took a lot longer than they expected. Almost the entire month of January worth of time — delegating between the paint drying over for Freckle's rock grave mound [ x ] they made a promise with Bayden a while back.
Having found the rock's when they were ROWAN — && painted them when they got stuck in B a y d e n ' s body.
Only issue was they couldn't capture the real Freckle's. Not like the real Bayden could. They had no idea what Freckle's even truly looked like. But when they were lost && didn't want to return back to assistant living in case they crossed paths with the real Bayden in Rowan's body they spent time doing just that. Painting rocks for Freckle's grave mound && taking a nail filer smoothing the metal edge of the pendant as the rock's were drying.
Was it worth it? NO. Did they do it anyway? Y e a.
It sucked being HELPFUL && s y m p a t h e t i c. They were stuck in SHIT-t a s t i c storm of there own responsibility && damned personality traits they can't break out of even as Bayden. They should take a page or two from Bayden's own sister. They put to much effort into something they shouldn't give a DAMN a b o u t.
" I k n o w ~ " as they couldn't help themselves whispering back to Montgomery. A PRETTY b i g smile on Bayden's face. Between Montgomery's rolled eyes && Bayden's appearance it would be very clear they shared a sibling moment.
They felt in that moment that was more of a ' DAMN straight they a r e ' but they froze — saying nothing as they weren't sure if they ever heard Bayden curse around his own mom before. It was one of those borderline moments that they felt they needed to censor themselves as Bayden. But knowing Bayden he'd take that PAINFULLY && p r i d e f u l.
' All your moments are dramatic, my boy, '
From the moment Bayden was born right? An INNOCENT k i d swept in the Wardeyns family dysfunctional dramatics. An INNOCENT k i d literally forced into the black sheep role with the dramatic hair — the dramatic everything.
Again that AOL sign o n dail u p played in there head. Weirdly it was almost comforting in the moment. Getting them out of there own anger? Where they angry? If they were they didn't show it physically. But they needed to break out of it. Because the song was winding down && Montgomery was saying her goodbye's.
" Night, Monty " as they saw the gesture of her phone " Can't wait to hear how tanked you're date went later. " Not that they believed for a moment Montgomery would call them. Obviously calling him would mean Dr. Wardeyn would also be around to hear how her date went too. Only thing they could hope for was that Montgomery would make more of an effort to call Bayden randomly throughout the months she's absent for.
They watched her go — relief mixed with hypervigilant. They felt the hair on the back of there neck stand up. The cold rush of being on there guard. They realized in that moment that perhaps the thing they saw in the garage was more a WARNING for t h e m.
A WARNING for t h e m not to use the computer then. A WARNING for t h e m not to be left behind now.
There was nothing they could do about it. They needed to get to the bottom of answers that they have — they knew the risks when they left but there isn't going to be another chance to check GOOGLE m a p s on a computer privately either. If the worse truly happens — then maybe being Bayden && taking his place isn't the end of ends? In a worse case scenario he get's to truly live. There was that ' come clean ' motive.
&& then she found the text. Shattering the moment as they got a very ' mom looks ' that was equal parts questioning && amused from Dr. Wardeyn waking them up from there IMPENDING d o o m s d a y ticking countdown. Nonchalantly shrugging Bayden's shoulders && boyishly smirking trying to play off whatever had SPOOKED M o n t g o m e r y.
Feeling there own soul tense against Dr. Wardeyn's calm, reassuring buzzed presence. Polar opposites in the moment. There was something they were getting to understand about Bayden. Perhaps Dr. Wardeyn herself wasn't all that terrible. Sure she had made some pretty terrible choices that destroyed Bayden's life. Dr. Wardeyn chose the wrong kid in there opinion to support. Though they can see WHY B a y d e n was strung along into all this. For a moment — that rareness — almost like peace as Dr. Wardeyn leaning herself back — perhaps radiated a warmth only a mother could.
Not that they understood what that meant — or known what that felt realistically. Just that . . . they understood a little more about Bayden in a weird way.
Yeah well they were going to regret taking her DRINK a w a y in a moment. They could feel it.
The most awkward thing — as they fell into step with Dr. Wardeyn for that MOTHER/s o n dance was that all that they did today was all very knew to them. Some things they could live without FEELING for the rest of there l i f e. Yet through all that they had to do — they did get to see a glimpse of something they NEVER got to k n o w.
Thankfully they weren't starve crazy for a family? Pretty sure they weren't starve crazy anyway. They didn't feel the need to overlord && high jack Bayden's life. Rather if things don't fall apart tonight in the kind of way that put's Bayden's life on the balance of the ASYLUM or j a i l. Now that's the weight they were carrying on there shoulders as of now.
The only way they know how to swap back into the other's body would be the last resorting method they had. Knowing Bayden's head space a little more they didn't want to confuse him — or make things more complicated than they already where for them.
Yet perhaps they had thought of this a little more. The BIGGEST r i s k s. The r i s k of being CAUGHT. The r i s k of being the reason Bayden would assume they RUINED his life. What they couldn't do? Live with themselves if they FAILED to do the o n e thing they came here for. If everything was going to fall to RUIN the least they could do was s e a r c h.
Search the entire property && even outside of the borders to find where those DAMNED t h i n g s could be kept hidden.
Any. Lead. Is. Better. Than. Sitting. &&. Waiting. For. Something. Terrible. To. Happen. Again.
The evil in them wanted to be deviant && get Dr. Wardeyn hella drunk so she'll pass out faster. The good in them. . . the good in them. . . The. Good. In. Them. Wanted. To. Help. The. Evil. Side. Of. Them.
That look on there face when was clouded over when Dr. Wardeyn started talking about Day of our Lives. John Black — they felt like all of that was something they bonded over but they had 0% knowledge of. It felt more like Dr. Wardeyn just spoke Spanish or a secretive brail lingo that they were overthinking.
" No. No way. I think you're trying to trick me this time !! The jokes on you I'm not falling for it Mom. Not until I see it with my own eyes. " The way they shook there head ' no ' ' nope ' ' lies ' ' all the lies ' came forth.
They could act all thunderstruck when they kind of watch it all unravel? Jack Black can't be that hard to figure out — the guy that they forgot the name of already. Pretty sure they got the guys name wrong. Being in denial was there only out in this awkward situation. If they weren't on such a high level mission to out awake Dr. Wardeyn tonight they would drink to get them the hell through this.
" Augh. I didn't get to see Clarrissa today. " They sounded a little sulky sense Dr. Wardeyn brought it up " the day went by so fast — talking about fast she's learning sign && getting really good at it. Soon she'll be able to tell us what kind of sheet music she needs. " Clarrissa talent could only grow from there. In the kind of way if they knew what she needed. What she also wanted to explore can only go further. " She's a smart && talented kid. " Instant excitement as Classy or Clarrissa they knew exactly who Dr. Wardeyn was talking about without even having to drop a hint. It was just an all knowing feeling.
Though there was a rather long pause. They wanted to be careful with what they say next. Not taking what Dr. Wardeyn said to heart. Maybe Rowan's more his type in looks. So what? Perhaps if things were reversed in the kind of way they were stuck in Celestis body Bayden could have said the same thing. They didn't want to make it confusing.
" Were kind of in an ICE a g e movement right now. " Simplifying everything? Yea. That sounded lame but oddly accurate. There friendship was colder then the Tundra during a snow storm. It's more likely there friendship was buried underneath an avalanche that the snow storm happened to create. They don't really blame anyone but themselves for it. While they didn't go into much detail what even an ICE a g e movement even meant to Dr. Wardeyn. They could already feel the follow up questions Dr. Wardeyn's going to ask as if mentally preparing themselves for it.
As far as Celestis knew Monty was very appreciative of the necklace. She showed nothing but pleasure about it in front of her brother. She hadn't disposed of it until she was out in the parking lot on her date so maybe she'd never know how Monty really felt about it.
"I knew you'd be excited. Just you wait." Jude took their no ways as Bayden's sarcastic flamboyance as deep into her stories as she was.
Jude looked in her glass and got confused. She could have sworn she just-
Ah well, she'll just refill it now. Now where did she put that bottle?
She was listening intently as she rummaged for snacks at the same time. She pulled down bed serving trays to sit the snack on so they could sit up with them in bed. She kept looking around.
The bottle? Something about this wasn't right at all.
Eh, she was so happy listening to her son go on about Classy and her sign language to worry too much about it. She'd just get another bottle.
"Well, she's always around. I'm sure you'll get to see her soon." His mother put a positive spin on that sullen face of his knowing how much he enjoyed the small girl's company.
She went over to small circular wire stacking counter wrack. She pulled another bottle and looked in the drawer for a corkscrew as he went on to calling his relationship with Rowan ice.
Oh dear. She didn't like hearing that. She knew from all reports she was one of the few stabilities he had.
"Well, that doesn't sound like you guys at all. I know you two play your little pranks on one another, whatever you two get up to. I thought it was all in good fun. She finally go too far, darling?"
Then the cork came up with a pop sound. She pulled down a second glass. She poured for two. She brought the glass over to Bayden and left hers on the counter for a moment. "It's a holiday." She winked. "I won't tell if you don't." Then she used her free hand to run through her son's floppy bangs and shook her head. "Don't let her get to you, my love. Whatever it is I'm sure it'll work out if she has any sense at all. Who couldn't adore you? We can talk about it if you want." She offered as she rubbed his jawline with her aging thumb.
Then she motioned all the snacks she gathered on the trays. "Be a good boy. Help your momma take all this upstairs. We'll get the settled in and make a night of it."
Bayden Finds Dmitry
Dmitry shot Bayden an absolutely horrified look at the story about Shirley.
“Holy fucking shit, just kill me at that point. That’s fucked up. That’s gotta be a sex thing. Is it? Actually, don’t answer that, I’m gonna vomit.”
He did spot the sketchbook, like Bayden was going to show him, but by then, he’d been distracted by the window and thoughts of telescopes.
“Yeah, a telescope. Don’t even have to be a big one, I think… Hell, mine’s just 76-millimeters, but with the right lenses, even something smaller does great.”
He listened curiously to Bayden’s explanation about the telescope in the den and grinned. That sounded about right. The offer, too, was nice. “You would? I think something like that one would probably work good. Probably about this big, right?” He held his arms out about a small telescope length apart. “With the diameter something like this?” This time a circle, about the size of a mini-CD. “That would work out here. Would be cool if she lets you have it.”
Then he pointed at the curled-up sketchbook. “You were gonna show me?”
Bayden laughed. "I would hate to think it was a sex thing, but I doubt she's getting any otherwise."
Bayden looked around and pushed a small waste bucket towards him. "Here." He was still laughing. He was taking no chances even if Dmitry was just joking. He'd seen vomit out of nowhere in this place. He could have been serious for all he knew.
Bayden wouldn't know the difference in telescopes the other was trying to describe. He simply wasn't educated in them. He said, "Okay." It was a smile and wave penguin moment if there ever was one. "I believe you."
Dmitry went on like he was just so in awe he'd give it a try to get him a telescope. "Yeah. About like that. No big." It just didn't feel like a big deal to Bayden.
He got so caught up in all that he forgot he was still holding onto the sketch pad until Dmitry pointed it out. He looked down at it. "Oh uh. Maybe?"
He answered like a question deciding. There was always something inherantly weird about sharing. Cold feet.
"Fuck it. Here."
Then he opened up the front page. His knee would bounce up and down as he flipped some pages probably far too quickly for Dmitry to thoroughly take every page in. But there would be a theme to the sketches, not just stylistically, but in content. There were a lot stags with many twisted antlers. There was a creep factor to some with a slight whimsical feel. Deep shading and wrinkling for that haunted effect in the folds of skin. There were other animals too, rabbits, magic fish floating in the forest air without the need of water, tails billowing behind. The stags overpowered the rest. Many animals would have third eyes. Whether they had third eyes or not there was always one eye on every animal that was Xed out with tears falling. They would appear damaged. He was detailed enough with his colored pencils to show some were more healed than others.
The different phases of healing, sadness, or grief in these beings were off set by the power of the anters, third eyes, or sometimes wings animals like deer that didn't usually have wings. He had a perfected white space technique to give a glow to the third eyes or outer edges to really create a magical or supernatural being that would feel like it was lifting off the page. It was Bayden's own little world on paper inside those books. No matter what it would be easily seen he was most obsessed with drawing the stag in different situations. angles, colors, emotions. There would even be stags standing with a black haired boy. The boy's face was never drawn as it was always from the back, but it was easy to guess that it was himself. It was that part that made him a little on edge.
Give me back my point of view 'Cause I just can't think for you I can hardly hear you say What should I do? Well, you choose
Oh, look what you've done You've made a fool of everyone Oh well, it seems like such fun until you lose what you had won
MONTGOMERY WARDEYN && DR. WARDEYN.
Monty was too in her own head to catch on this wasn't her brother. Witch gifts or not it was a pretty big leap to go assuming someone had gone and switched bodies even if someone was acting a little off.
All she really knew was her brother kept calling her impatient when she already told him she had a Valentine's date waiting. She rather liked the idea of keeping a guy waiting a little. It keeps them in anticipation and lets them know she's hardly desperate. They weren't THAT important. So, she didn't mind too much playing out her brother's incessant need to check up on his mother.
He continued to say things that seemed a little weird, but he was weird, so she just kept thinking he's having a weirder day than usual. It must be the holiday hype. The excitement must be too much for wee Bayden and his boring life.
Leave his meds out this. Blah blah blah. She rolled her eyes.
As for ponies and Star Wars? She turned it around on him.
"Of course I do. Every time you call the family tv."
Monty would show no apparent attention or notice to the apparition or vision showing all the more it was all in Celeste's view. Well, Celeste's view from within Bayden's body, or so it would seem.
Monty crossed her arms as her brother kept dragging out reasons to dance. That was the most unusual. It was usually him begging her to hurry up and she'd be lucky if he wasn't begging for more when it was over and have to put her foot down.
There he was trying to be clever again with the sparklers from last July still sitting in the garage.
"Okay. Okay. Cute."
Then Bayden decided to put on a song through his phone though she always had hers ready for him. The theme was appropriate to her. Unknown to Celeste, or maybe she did, but it was a song the brother and sister had shared before. If Celeste got anything right wearing a Bayden skin suit, she got that right. It was his passive aggessive attitude on the world all wrapped up in a song. Passive aggression was something Bayden was great at reading and dishing. Maybe Celestis just liked the song or maybe she found it on his playlists and just chose randomly. Whatever reason Celeste chose it the real Bayden may never get to know. But, that was what no one understood about Bayden at this point in his life that actually knew him. Maybe he was set up, but it didn't matter. He chose every step along the way. He chose to stay in this bumsack asylum of a Hellspace and make it his own paradise. He fucking loved his mother and sister in spite of it all.
Then Monty would finally get that traditional dance, the one Bayden and she had every year. This is when from within the windows of Bayden's blue eyes Celeste would actually see the family fun he clings to.
Monty would dance.
She wouldn't just stand there like a lump at her brother's side tracking the time like she wanted it to be over already. No. She smiled. She swayed. She whooshed her hair to the side and curled his tattooed hands into hers in a playful way. She'd giggle and try to make him turn out to spin her. She'd even sing the last few lines out loud with him like the song was a celebration between them and their life was a party nobody else was invited to. It'd be a proper dance that got a little silly and rambunctious near the end.
"My waaaaaaay!"
Then they'd see a flash because of course late in life Judith would have her flash set on her phone.
"Aww, my BayBay. Home. My sweet perfect children."
Jude entered the room with a light in her eyes, a dainty glass in her hand, and satin robe, and bare feet.
"I didn't know you were coming. What a perfect night."
She sounded too tipsy and full of joy to be upset Monty pulled Bayden home without permission first.
"I got it." She shook her phone. She was so happy she managed to get a shot of them dancing. She stuck her tongue out at them feeling sneaky.
She'd come right up and embrace Bayden like she hadn't seen him in years. It was certainly a special ocassion greeting hug. She'd start popping kisses all over the side of his cheeks while she had him in her grasp.
There was an experience Celestis would never have known from her own psychiatrist. Kisses and hugs like family instead of professional distance. Now she was inside Bayden's body really getting the Bayden's life experience.
Then she'd twirl her finger, "Keep it going Monty-girl. My stunning girl." She meant the music. "Let it run." She didn't know who's phone it was coming from. Her hips would sway and she took Monty's hand and they'd take a moment to dance a square or two around the family room.
She'd swirl her way over to the counter and leaned as the joy never stopped. "I'm next, you know." She pointed at Bayden. "You're giving your momma a dance too. I want a dance from my boy. My boy. My boy. My boy who came to save me from having to spend Valentine's dancing alone." She was refilling her glass.
Even Monty would stroke Bayden's ego here and say, "You know he's always there to save you, Mom."
"Oh, I know. I know. My boy loves me. What do you got?" She teased Monty.
Monty laughed and smiled, "A date. I'll leave this to you two."
It was all a fun and fancy free type feeling the moment Jude entered the room. She wasn't in director mode. She was in mom mode in the comfort of her own home.
"No no. One more before you go." Jude plead so tickled inside by the whole thing. "Then you can make those boys out there suffer wanting you. My so pretty girl."
Then Celeste would have to stand there in Bayden's body and watch as mother and daughter danced a fun and laughter filled dance Witchraft. Another Frankie song. "Pull me some Witchcraft, BayBay." She knew Bayden would have a whole playlist of Sinatra because she knew her brother. The song would just make the pair laugh and giggle. Jude would throw her head back as Monty spun her. This was Wardeyn family fun.
He... she could watch as the mother/daughter pair shared some fun filled laughter in the family room. Monty called over, "Look what you got me into, Bay." But, she wouldn't look upset at all. Just fun and silliness.
Jude would put the back of her hand on her head after like she was winded with glee. "Oh my. These dancing feet still have a little kick in them." She went over to take a sip of her glass.
Monty would finally pick up her phone to leave. She hadn't seen Bayden's text just yet. She was too busy with the momma ambush. As she gathered her handbag to go and with Jude so happy, to the outside looking in, it might have looked like the most normal happy family ever. They could be a beautiful family portrait. The real Bayden lived for these moments sitting in his little assisted living house watching his old home from afar. They didn't come often.
---
The real Bayden back at the asylum was still in Rowan's body, the girl who Celestis jumped into and who's body he always knew as his friend Rowan until recently. The girl who he'd known for so many years wasn't even the girl he thought she was, but in that he also came to realize no matter what name she went by, it had always been the same person since he'd known that body whether she'd stolen it or not. Accidently or not.
But right now none of that was in his-her head. He was Rowan now. The only thing in his head was knowing he was missing time with his sister. She only came once a month unless there was a holiday. Inside he was longing for it. Every time his mother passed him in the halls of Briarcliff and didn't recognize him he didn't feel the freedom he thought he might. He felt lost. Absolutely misplaced. He felt like he was slowly disappearing like he might just vanish. For as many times as he wished to be invisible the feeling was absolutely atrocious.
He knew if this was how Celestis felt every time she accidently touched someone her life fucking sucked. No wonder she wanted to sit around in Briarcliff and waste away.
He put on a dress. It was Valentine's Day. There was always some games and fun in the community room. It took everything in him to not cry. He tried to focus on going out to join Clarrissa. She might have been a mute child, but at least someone still liked him. Even facing Clarrissa without being his complete self felt daunting. She didn't get the same light in her eyes he was used to from being pals for so long in there. It was the same with the nurses. Janet. He had no refuge. The staff he was buddies with, the inside jokes were all gone.
He was trying to get to know her life, but it was hard.
He was alone.
He wasn't sure he could do it. Not today of all days. ( @montywonmom )
Being in Bayden's body — his younger SISTER was b l i s s f u l l y unaware of anything about the real Bayden beneath the surface she knew.
Regardless of there own soulful paranoia in BAYDEN'S b o d y Montgomery would never suspect the outlandish truth — that her OLDER b r o t h e r wasn't her OLDER b r o t h e r today. That idea of a body switch? Even for Montgomery that was a bridge too far.
Even for a WITCH — that was a b r i d g e too far.
But sparklers ablaze as the music started && a song Montgomery shared with Bayden — Bayden's own little PASSIVE a g g r e s i v e anthem — snuck in through there choice. Did THEY k n o w? It was all just a coincidence — as the real Bayden might never know there reasoning — but it DIDN'T m a t t e r to Montgomery.
This song was like a magic spell — an gateway into the kind of private && A N N O Y I N G s i b l i n g ritual they’d share. IF a n y t h i n g — Montgomery would think — he got that right.
At first they HALF h e a r t e d l y played along. Not because they wanted too but because Montgomery was a bundle of to much movement for them to keep up with in the dark as they were waiting for the cue to happen as they practiced so many times before —
Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew When I bit off more than I could chew But through it all, when there was doubt
With Montgomery's hand in one of Bayden's tattooed one's they'd finally turn out to spin Montgomery. While the other hand slipped into Bayden's LEATHER j a c k e t sneakily && pulled out the surprise they had for Montgomery the way they imagined over && over && over.
I ate it up and spit it out I faced it all, and I stood tall And did it MY w a y
Letting the cheap chain drop revealing a Pure Silver 1937 Rose & Leaf Spoon Heart Necklace dangling in front of Montgomery when they spun them back in towards them. THERE w a y.
When they were investigating the House during the time they stayed for Christmas as Bayden. They hoped to find answers about the ' History of the House ' && ' Property ' in search of secrets that might help them solve where those things could be stored away but in there investigation they found a stray dusty old silver spoon in the attic.
The tools in the garage worked wonders. Montgomery can't be jealous of DR.W a r d e y n either as they now each have there own pendent.
The bright flash of DR.W a r d e y n ' s phone going off capturing the moment they were putting the necklace on Montgomery.
DAMN. There was a part of them hoping there would be no true record of today. In the kind of way that Bayden won't ever have to look back on the time they weren't there. Why they've done this all there way from the very b e g i n n i n g.
“ Mom! You’re ruining my dramatic moment! ” Exaggeratedly taking on an Emperor Kuzco tone as if emphasizing someone interrupted there groove.
Moments later, when the sounds of their silly little dance party filled the living room, them as Bayden couldn’t help but feel a flicker of dread. In those fleeting seconds, perhaps the weight of the world could be crashing down on them after all. HELP. They are in need of an p s y c h i a t r i s t.
They had grown up without a family of there own && the one they thought was there family betrayed them. This moment sparked a trigger to remember that moment of a traitor. So all that warmth && affection passing between them — the familial closeness was both strange && causing PTSD within them. It's worse when they quickly have to squash it down, burying there problems beneath a Bayden who wrapped there arm around DR. W a r d e y n acting as if they felt the total opposite as they do.
EVERYTHING was n o r m a l. EVERYTHING was f i n e.
As they danced, oblivious to anything but the present, they felt a tinge of worry creeping in the back of there mind. A whisper of doubt about DR. W a r d e y n ' s drinking. As if trying to focus on something else. Anything else. Because being there in that moment was like being in an den of snakes — GRACEFUL yet d e a d l y.
" Looks like I'm not the only one who can pull off some moves, huh? " They quipped as Montgomery && DR. W a r d e y n danced together trying to play along with the lightness of the moment. Messing with the phone to play the song DR. W a r d e y n so suggested. Watching as mother && daughter fell easily into a rhythm of there own swaying to Witchcraft
Trying to craftily pour some of DR. W a r d e y n ' s alcohol down a fake plant . . . as they hoped that was a fake plant! They didn't have enough time to water down DR. W a r d e y n ' s alcohol so pouring a little of them out in the dark in what they pray to be a fake plant worked for them.
HID a f e w open bottles. STOLEN a f e w sips themselves. Glad Montgomery distracted DR. W a r d e y n as they worried something bad would happen to Bayden's mom once they all left — guilty of association if something does happen — the accidents lurking where unfathomable.
“ Oh, you’ll live! ” They quipped playfully, arms crossed, watching them share a moment so simple yet if they were the real Bayden must feel like undeniably precious. Though all they felt was cold anxiousness && fear clawing at there chest.
It felt like they were seeing Bayden’s world through his eyes — this raw — uncomplicated joy that had kept him so fiercely tied to his family. But what Bayden was clinging to && why he might love this HELLs p a c e of a world so fiercely.
Though Bayden also had to wake up too. They mirrored each other in a way — in the kind of way that Bayden's family gave him up — as much as Rowan themselves gave her up. Only difference was they felt they were never going to stop until all that was wronged was righted. While Bayden carried the weight very differently then themselves that took a lot of strength they didn't have.
THAT t r a i t o r was going to pay. If it's the last thing they EVER d o. They just have to remember it all first . . . as it was scattered && fractured for now.
" Don't forget to text me, " They called as they watched a rushed Montgomery leave. Wrapping there arms behind DR. W a r d e y n embracing them from behind, resting there chin on her shoulder gently. " Happy Valentine's Day Mom. " As if they had waited to tell her privately. It seemed like a Bayden thing to do. Though if they were being honest had no idea what to do. Only thing they aimed for was DR. W a r d e y n ' s glass yoinking it out of DR. W a r d e y n ' s hands gently of course.
" You still have enough kick to dance with me? "
She was going through the motions of their dance when suddenly a necklace was dropped into her hand. This began a whole slew of strangeness. It was cheap, but only because the spoon was found for free? Not that Monty knew that. It just looked cheap to her. If the spoon it was made from came from the Doctor Wardeyn's home their mother would surely recognize the pattern and eventually question how he'd gotten it turned into such artwork as they didn't exactly have access to such precise bending or buffing tools inside the asylum at his disposal. They aren't exactly giving hammers and hacksaws to patients. It wasn't exactly cheap nor easy for a patient to send it out and have custom jewelry made either. As luck would have it she was tipsy now and paid no mind to the necklace on her daughter.
Monty however did not recognize it. Like she cares what's in the attic, her mother's precious, boring, garbage, that collected dust. So, she accepted it for now and let him put it around her neck to be nice to her brother. She smiled here with every bit of excitement her brother was giving her a gift. She leaned in and whispered, "I love you." Then she pulled back and rolled her eyes like she was trying to say it where their mother wouldn't hear because she didn't want her making a fuss out of them being sweet. They both knew she would and ew neither of them needed anymore of that.
"All your moments are dramatic, my boy." Jude teased her son back with a big smile enjoying his presense.
The mother and daughter pair finished their dance and Monty held the heart necklace in her hand and winked as she said, "Night Bay." She gave it a little shake as a reminder she cared and it was another way to give him another thank you for it and show appreciation. "I will." She said about the phone on the way out to the garage.
She'd sit in the car and the sight of the Penguin would actually make her jump. She'd scream, "BAY!" It'd be heard from inside the garage all the way into the house.
Jude would stare at her son with one of those "what did you do now" Mom faces. Then she'd just shake her head as she heard the car back out and the garage door go back down. Whatever it was Monty didn't come back in furious so she'd let it go. It made Jude laugh.
"Oh you two."
She was squeezing and rubbing over her son's forearms which were currently wrapped around her from behind. Celestis was right. It was a Bayden thing to do. She tilted her head into him and enjoyed the moment a little longer.
She wouldn't notice Bayden messing with her drink. Good thing. It'd change her fast. Happy tipsy would turn to mean.
"Yes darling. Of course." She'd turn around in his arms and embrace him in a big warm hug instead of just close enough to dance.
A mother/son dance would occur next and no one could tell Jude he wasn't the best partner to ever step in with her.
The little problem Celeste had gotten herself into by cohercing Monty to bring them to the main house was what could have been a quick visit and done became a spend the night with Jude because she wasn't going to driving him back to the asylum in this condition. No one else did these off the record trips off property except Monty and Jude. She had paid off security but it wasn't like every move wasn't risky. When leaks happened more bodies happened. Monty was on a date. She might not even be back till late or the next day. They really hadn't thought this through unless they wanted to be back in Bayden's house for some reason other than checking in on Jude.
It might start to sink in as they danced and she would say, "I love our slumber parties." She'd move his hair. "I'll make a snack tray and we'll watch tv in bed all night again. I'll catch you up on my stories right where we left off. Days of our Lives is off the rails. You won't believe what's going on with John Black. Ohhh, the pawn card is back." She was ready for Bayden to gasp in a no way sort of way because this would have been a big deal in the story they were both following.
More tales the real Bayden wouldn't have admitted to Celestis without provocation, that he cuddles up with his Mom to binge watch day time tv on Peacock to bond with his mother.
As they swayed to the song she'd also say, "And you can tell me how things are going with you dear. And that little friend of yours. Classy. She's so adorable. The cliffs wouldn't be the same without her." She meant Clarrissa of course, "Oh and the other one. The one you always make the Valentine's for. The one you said was pretty. Miss Rowan."
And there's one the real Bayden would want to slit his mother's throat for. Oh the condundrum of that one considering they'd never been anything more than friends for literally years and the real Bayden now knows Celestis actually hates Rowan's face.
-------
In Monty's car, as she was driving, she was on the phone with one of her girlfriend's telling them they were finally on their way to hit up their date.
"Family interference. Yeah, I know. You know how it is for me. It's like all I ever do is spend my time helping the needy. Charity work exhausts me. I'm just too good a person. I know, thanks. He's just so sad. It's not my fault if he didn't have me he'd kill himself. You're right. I should do more for myself. My mother expects way too much out of me. I'm in the prime of my youth. I should be living. I get he's my brother, but I don't know why he's my problem. Anyway, text me in 15 in case this guy bores me, show up, make him think he's getting lucky. We'll make him buy us both dinner for being a loser."
She'd get off the phone and then look in the mirror when she'd park. She'd notice the necklace and get a better look at it now that she wasn't dancing around with Bayden. It was cheap. She grumbled out loud to herself, "Probably turn my neck green." Then she pulled it off and threw it in the glove box before going in.
MONTGOMERY WARDEYN.
Sibling what? Code of conduct?
She sneered her nose at the wording. Bayden suddenly sounded like he was raised in Catholic school or maybe he’d been watching too much Brit tv. What the fuck?
She let that weirdness go when he asked to call him more.
“Okay? I know damn well you have a phone. I thought you didn’t like we couldn’t be completely honest there in case people were listening. But, okay. Don’t think I don’t see what you’re doing. You’re trying to check up on my dates again. You worry too much. I can take care of myself, but if it makes you feel better, I will.”
Celeste hit on one unknowingly with that one and scored big for Bayden. He might not know it yet, but if Monty followed through, he would be thankful later. Shocked and thankful.
When Bayden pointed to the cams she shook her head. “Stop foiling my dreams, Bay.” She crossed her arms and pouted when she realized she was wrong.
Then there came something to bring her back up.
“A surprise? For me? What are you talking about now?”
She looked around at the chinzy tackiness of it all.
“You are right about that. I do deserve better.”
Once they were talking about Janet and he was trying to steer her away from it Monty continued to be wow-ed and weirded out by the manner in which Bayden spoke. It was just so flowery. It seemed off, but funny.
“Why do you sound like a mashup of Star Wars, My Little Pony, and Friends with a dash of wannabe Deadpool only you’re not pulling any of them off?” She was laughing softly poking fun at how he spoke which was probably a good thing because it distracted her from the actual conversation’s topic more than what the fake Bayden was trying to do. Celeste’s flowery way of speaking was definitely catching her ear and seemed to over do it when trying to act like a don’t-care-boy, sort of like Amanda Bynes in She’s the Man. She just didn’t quite pull it off and if an audience was watching it would be pretty damn fun. It also wasn’t enough to make Monty jump to any crazy conclusions like it wasn’t her brother in that skin, but it certainly raised a brow.
“Oswald?” Monty shrieked shrill at Bayden’s analogy of himself in a suit because Monty knew something else Celeste didn’t know.
“And that’s a bad thing? I mean it is for me, maybe not for you, but I told you never to bring your obsession with him up again. Your celebrity crush on him got way too descriptive and TMI for even me of all things you wanted to do to that man, brother dear. You are out of hand, Bayden. You did that on purpose just to put all those images back in my head, didn’t you? Sneaky, sneaky. I’ll get you back for that.”
Sibling stories were spilling. Bayden’s secrets were too. Celebrity crush. Robin Lord Taylor. Now she knows. Rogue wasn’t the only comic book character brought to life on screen Bayden had an affinity for.
It seemed after that Bayden tried to save face after Monty’s mocking and speak about who he danced with in real life. Screw fake crushes. Something real happened to him? Monty lifted yet another brow.
“Shhh. Oh my gawd Bayden. We’re a little close to the house to be saying that place’s name out loud. Mom’ll gut you. You know she’s terrified of you loving him more than her. You and your daddy issues. AND don’t say that’s crazy because we both already know she’s crazy. But okaaaaaaaaay. Okay. I believe you. You danced with a girl. Your secrets are safe with me. Always are. You know that.”
She still sneered her nose up because there was no telling what Bayden got up to in the Hotel Cortez. It was the family’s weak spot when it came to Bayden. It was where they fucked up and let out his leash too far.
“But you are talking weird. You are just extra today, Bay. Did they change your meds again? You always get weird when they change your meds.”
Everything got light again with the tale of their childhood. It felt good to Monty to relive it. She parked in the garage and the door would close behind them. Once it down they were safe.
“Safe. It’s down. You can sit up. We’re home. We can act normal now. No more show for the hospital.”
She’d get out and head into the house through a side kitchen door. The house was as it always was.
“Mom. We’re home!” Monty called out and set the keys in dish on the counter.
The doctor’s voice would come from the bathroom way down a long wing in the hall.
“Thank you for bringing my boy on this day of love. My children are home at last.” Then a big splash was heard as she laughed kicking her feet around in her bubbles.
Monty’s eyes shifted over to Bayden, “Told ya and looky there, still alive. Not drowned yet. Worry wart.” “Now, what’s the surprise? And our dance before figures out how to get out of the tub or let me guess. You have to go help her first?” ( @montywonmom )
Today was shaping up to be more of a Valentine's DAYMARE than a s i b l i n g celebration.
Everything had turned out to be ROCKY at best && the weight of unresolved emotions hung heavily in themselves.
“ I KNOW, I k n o w. It’s just that I care, okay? You’re not just my little sister. You're my ONLY l i t t l e sister Monty. I can’t help but think about all the potential creeps out there. GOOD at l e a s t text once in a while if you can't call me. ”
Not that they believed in Montgomery to keep her word. Relying on her was more often a gamble or a risk more times than not ending in disappointment. There was no doubt Bayden countlessly had reached out only for his efforts to dissolve into the quicksand of her busy lifestyle/ignoring her big brother. Yet the urge to connect — to try was far stronger than the fear of not trying to help Bayden in the very end.
It honestly sucks to like someone, let alone care. They already learned what happens when you do. It never works out in the end.
They NEEDED to s t a y focused. They NEEDED to not s c r e w this up. But doubts lurked in the corners of the back of there mind whispering deceptive thoughts that threatened to unravel there focus. Each passing whisper fed off there anxiety only amplifying the sense of urgency that coursed through their veins.
Knowing the bond he had with his sister was significant to Bayden himself && rather than letting the day's LESS-than-g l a m o r o u s moments push && pull as they urgently were rushing Montgomery. They needed to make sure DR. W a r d e y n was ok.
" I'll stop foiling your DREAMS when you stop being i m p a t i e n t, " a faint smirk on Bayden's features as they continued to walk alongside Montgomery.
" SEE? You're being Impatient a g a i n! I guess I'll keep foiling your dreams when you least expect me to. " Knowing full well that Bayden himself would have relished in a little game with his sister like this priding on being the dream disruptor to his sister jokingly. Keeping her hopefully intrigued about her valentine surprise at least as they held a certain smugness && ignored her on purpose.
Not that the oddly oversized absurdity of cheesy Valentine decorations clinging to the white walls desperately trying to make something out of nothing. That ' CHINTZY t a c k i n e s s ' couldn’t be helped — neither could it overshadow how they felt about themselves being Bayden in the moment.
Desperately trying to make something out of nothing. Trying so desperately to be someone else — all over again.
Wow. More than anything they were slightly impressed Montgomery knew the words ' Star Wars ' let alone ' My Little Pony '.
" Did I just hear you say My Little Pony? Star Wars? I bet you secretly watch My Little Pony when no ones around, " Half in disbelief && half in shock && half joking for once.
" Maybe not that DRAMATIC, but a bit more — expressive && a tiny bit nervous than usual . . . " A tiny bit nervous was an understatement as they stared at the ceiling of Montgomery's car questioning when they were going to figure out they were a fake.
Only underneath the lightness in the moment was a level of anxiety that couldn't be comprehended in the kind of way that felt like they've done wrong.
" How dare you! I'm simply expressing my 50-s h a d e s-of love for Robin Lord Taylor!!! "
An ache flaring in there chest as they were learning things about Bayden from someone else && not exactly from himself hit very different. Each little detail shared felt like a knife — twisting with the realization that this felt invasive. That's not the way they wanted to know him. Shoving the thoughts from there mind as that's the least of there problems right now but a sharp ache still remained.
If she wants sneaky. They'll show Montgomery sneaky. Whipping Bayden's phone out so secretly && with a bit of heavy concentration to do what they wanted to do while Montgomery drove they sent her a text && an image from the backseat!
[ 📱 — text to Montgomery from Bayden ] Nothing freaky to see here at all. [ X ]
" You do know HOUSES can't hear r i g h t? Please seek professional help if you start hearing houses Monty. The crazy in our Mom doesn't fall to far from the crazy in us. We just make it lOoK gOoD. Minus your expert level on house whispering now! So rude of you keeping that from me. That's why you need to CALL me m o r e. But yea. Don't tell Mom. I'll also keep your HOUSE w h i s p e r i n g from Mom too. "
Joking into it more than trying to take what she said seriously or to heavy, because they know how Bayden felt about Hotel Cortez && at the same time they can't say they feel the same way as them. They've only been there once.
" Leave my meds out of this!!! I'm doing this MY w a y this year, " as if her big brother has had this moment in his mind for a while. Yet she's been questioning them ever since they arrived at Briarcliff. Being reminded of an pitbull that won't let go of it's toy.
Though in all trueness, they couldn't compare to the real Bayden. However, they did plan this in case of this happening. Only thing they wished they could change was there situation with Bayden prior. In the kind of way to prepare themselves to be the Bayden Montgomery expects to be would have helped more then trying to grasp into improv.
" Ha ha Monty VERY f u n n y. " They retorted not so amused. Now that they were actually in a parked car. Getting up slowly from the back seat of her car as soreness throbbed from there stomach.
Only the moment they open the car door to get out there was a familiar rancid smell overwhelming them.
The KIND of s m e l l that they knew wasn't existent but only in there mind. Casually stepping out of the car into the garage there ' IT ' was again.
On the cemented ground of the garage the visage of a dead girl again laid a few ways away from them, as they recall seeing her near the laundry room last time they visited. Her skin swollen about to split any moment. Once a beautiful young girl but now just a tangled decaying rot of a mess.
As that smell that filled the entire garage was like potted meat left in the sun. It doesn't help that the empty glassy appearance of it's eyes followed them like a Decayed-Mona-Lisa, as the veins around it's eyes appeared black making it much harder to pry there own attention away.
They knew she wasn't real, or actually there, but that didn't mean it didn't startle them.
Or was it? They question to themselves that there might be more to Bayden. With so many EYES on h i m, they couldn't investigate the matter on there own without the questions being raised if there was something wrong with him.
After all, if they ' SWAP b o d i e s ' why couldn't Bayden see thing's that other's can't? His family tree comes from a LINE of w i t c h e s/w i z a r d s.
Where the voices more than just voices && the things they see more than just that. Or where they projecting what they desire Bayden to be?
But why it had moved from the Laundry Room to the Garage? Did it move because ' IT ' followed them in the kind of way they spent some time in the garage back in Christmas? Or had it moved to lead them. In the kind of way that the dead girl was trying to show Bayden something.
It won't be solved standing around making Montgomery suspect something was wrong with them. They already had enough to actually worry about right now. Closing the car door gently as if everything was normal. No smell. No dead girl. Just them walking over to pick up something they hid during Christmas that they needed to use.
Following Montgomery into DR.W a r d e y n ' s home through the side kitchen door. It looked exactly the same when they visited.
But it was such a relief to hear DR.W a r d e y n ' s voice, to feel a burden weight lift from her shoulders.
Never had they ever felt so awkward && out of place standing there in an actual family unit. Dysfunctional. But still a family unit. Better then Rowan's && her own situation anyway.
The way there tongue felt thick && full of cotton suddenly. As if anything they wanted to say back in that moment wouldn't come out. Staring down the hallway where DR. W a r d e y n ' s voice came from.
“ ALRIGHT, a l r i g h t ! I won’t jump to help Mom just yet, ” they said, crossing there arms with playful mock sternness. “ But you’re RIGHT, we should probably dance like nobody’s w a t c h i n g before she sets sail on her bubble sea. ”
On that note they began walking past Montgomery with ease && little hesitation as if they've known this house all there life.
" Stay here for a second Monty I want to do something first — " they sounded more serious as they went to the living room && though they felt terribly stupid, in the kind of way that made them feel utterly embarrassed.
They put 5 sparklers In the shape of an ' M ' for Montgomery in a aluminum can they already put holes in to hold them. Finding them around Christmas when they where restless.
Turning off the living room lights leaving it nicely dark enough. Fiddling with Bayden's phone ready as they lowered the volume so it wasn't hella loud after lighting one sparkler after another until they were all lit, sparkling in that ' M ' for her to clearly see.
" You can come look now, " not so loud but just loud enough for Montgomery to catch.
lıllılı.ıllı.ılılıılıı.lllııılı. Now Playing [My Way] 0:07 ———♡——— 4:36 ◁◁ ▐ ▌ ▷▷
" — Montgomery Wardeyn will you do me the honor of having this dance with me? "
Monty was too in her own head to catch on this wasn't her brother. Witch gifts or not it was a pretty big leap to go assuming someone had gone and switched bodies even if someone was acting a little off.
All she really knew was her brother kept calling her impatient when she already told him she had a Valentine's date waiting. She rather liked the idea of keeping a guy waiting a little. It keeps them in anticipation and lets them know she's hardly desperate. They weren't THAT important. So, she didn't mind too much playing out her brother's incessant need to check up on his mother.
He continued to say things that seemed a little weird, but he was weird, so she just kept thinking he's having a weirder day than usual. It must be the holiday hype. The excitement must be too much for wee Bayden and his boring life.
Leave his meds out this. Blah blah blah. She rolled her eyes.
As for ponies and Star Wars? She turned it around on him.
"Of course I do. Every time you call the family tv."
Monty would show no apparent attention or notice to the apparition or vision showing all the more it was all in Celeste's view. Well, Celeste's view from within Bayden's body, or so it would seem.
Monty crossed her arms as her brother kept dragging out reasons to dance. That was the most unusual. It was usually him begging her to hurry up and she'd be lucky if he wasn't begging for more when it was over and have to put her foot down.
There he was trying to be clever again with the sparklers from last July still sitting in the garage.
"Okay. Okay. Cute."
Then Bayden decided to put on a song through his phone though she always had hers ready for him. The theme was appropriate to her. Unknown to Celeste, or maybe she did, but it was a song the brother and sister had shared before. If Celeste got anything right wearing a Bayden skin suit, she got that right. It was his passive aggessive attitude on the world all wrapped up in a song. Passive aggression was something Bayden was great at reading and dishing. Maybe Celestis just liked the song or maybe she found it on his playlists and just chose randomly. Whatever reason Celeste chose it the real Bayden may never get to know. But, that was what no one understood about Bayden at this point in his life that actually knew him. Maybe he was set up, but it didn't matter. He chose every step along the way. He chose to stay in this bumsack asylum of a Hellspace and make it his own paradise. He fucking loved his mother and sister in spite of it all.
Then Monty would finally get that traditional dance, the one Bayden and she had every year. This is when from within the windows of Bayden's blue eyes Celeste would actually see the family fun he clings to.
Monty would dance.
She wouldn't just stand there like a lump at her brother's side tracking the time like she wanted it to be over already. No. She smiled. She swayed. She whooshed her hair to the side and curled his tattooed hands into hers in a playful way. She'd giggle and try to make him turn out to spin her. She'd even sing the last few lines out loud with him like the song was a celebration between them and their life was a party nobody else was invited to. It'd be a proper dance that got a little silly and rambunctious near the end.
"My waaaaaaay!"
Then they'd see a flash because of course late in life Judith would have her flash set on her phone.
"Aww, my BayBay. Home. My sweet perfect children."
Jude entered the room with a light in her eyes, a dainty glass in her hand, and satin robe, and bare feet.
"I didn't know you were coming. What a perfect night."
She sounded too tipsy and full of joy to be upset Monty pulled Bayden home without permission first.
"I got it." She shook her phone. She was so happy she managed to get a shot of them dancing. She stuck her tongue out at them feeling sneaky.
She'd come right up and embrace Bayden like she hadn't seen him in years. It was certainly a special ocassion greeting hug. She'd start popping kisses all over the side of his cheeks while she had him in her grasp.
There was an experience Celestis would never have known from her own psychiatrist. Kisses and hugs like family instead of professional distance. Now she was inside Bayden's body really getting the Bayden's life experience.
Then she'd twirl her finger, "Keep it going Monty-girl. My stunning girl." She meant the music. "Let it run." She didn't know who's phone it was coming from. Her hips would sway and she took Monty's hand and they'd take a moment to dance a square or two around the family room.
She'd swirl her way over to the counter and leaned as the joy never stopped. "I'm next, you know." She pointed at Bayden. "You're giving your momma a dance too. I want a dance from my boy. My boy. My boy. My boy who came to save me from having to spend Valentine's dancing alone." She was refilling her glass.
Even Monty would stroke Bayden's ego here and say, "You know he's always there to save you, Mom."
"Oh, I know. I know. My boy loves me. What do you got?" She teased Monty.
Monty laughed and smiled, "A date. I'll leave this to you two."
It was all a fun and fancy free type feeling the moment Jude entered the room. She wasn't in director mode. She was in mom mode in the comfort of her own home.
"No no. One more before you go." Jude plead so tickled inside by the whole thing. "Then you can make those boys out there suffer wanting you. My so pretty girl."
Then Celeste would have to stand there in Bayden's body and watch as mother and daughter danced a fun and laughter filled dance Witchraft. Another Frankie song. "Pull me some Witchcraft, BayBay." She knew Bayden would have a whole playlist of Sinatra because she knew her brother. The song would just make the pair laugh and giggle. Jude would throw her head back as Monty spun her. This was Wardeyn family fun.
He... she could watch as the mother/daughter pair shared some fun filled laughter in the family room. Monty called over, "Look what you got me into, Bay." But, she wouldn't look upset at all. Just fun and silliness.
Jude would put the back of her hand on her head after like she was winded with glee. "Oh my. These dancing feet still have a little kick in them." She went over to take a sip of her glass.
Monty would finally pick up her phone to leave. She hadn't seen Bayden's text just yet. She was too busy with the momma ambush. As she gathered her handbag to go and with Jude so happy, to the outside looking in, it might have looked like the most normal happy family ever. They could be a beautiful family portrait. The real Bayden lived for these moments sitting in his little assisted living house watching his old home from afar. They didn't come often.
---
The real Bayden back at the asylum was still in Rowan's body, the girl who Celestis jumped into and who's body he always knew as his friend Rowan until recently. The girl who he'd known for so many years wasn't even the girl he thought she was, but in that he also came to realize no matter what name she went by, it had always been the same person since he'd known that body whether she'd stolen it or not. Accidently or not.
But right now none of that was in his-her head. He was Rowan now. The only thing in his head was knowing he was missing time with his sister. She only came once a month unless there was a holiday. Inside he was longing for it. Every time his mother passed him in the halls of Briarcliff and didn't recognize him he didn't feel the freedom he thought he might. He felt lost. Absolutely misplaced. He felt like he was slowly disappearing like he might just vanish. For as many times as he wished to be invisible the feeling was absolutely atrocious.
He knew if this was how Celestis felt every time she accidently touched someone her life fucking sucked. No wonder she wanted to sit around in Briarcliff and waste away.
He put on a dress. It was Valentine's Day. There was always some games and fun in the community room. It took everything in him to not cry. He tried to focus on going out to join Clarrissa. She might have been a mute child, but at least someone still liked him. Even facing Clarrissa without being his complete self felt daunting. She didn't get the same light in her eyes he was used to from being pals for so long in there. It was the same with the nurses. Janet. He had no refuge. The staff he was buddies with, the inside jokes were all gone.
He was trying to get to know her life, but it was hard.
He was alone.
He wasn't sure he could do it. Not today of all days.
Bayden Finds Dmitry
“Not yet, no,” he said. He still sounded pensive, though. The idea that Bayden could get things brought in was certainly interesting. He just hadn’t quite gotten that far when he’d asked about it.
In general, Bayden’s openness and willingness to answer questions in general, even the accidentally-insensitive ones, was reassuring to Dmitry. He felt safe around the so-called Horrorville Hacker, and that was perhaps noteworthy. The fact that he felt more comfortable talking to a “serial” killer than he did talking to nurses, other patients, or doctors, was certainly something.
Dmitry grinned at Bayden’s question though. “Yeah I know about constellations. I know 'em like the back of my hand, I’ll teach ya anything you wanna.”
At the door, Dmitry observed the people around them carefully, acting as nonchalant about it as possible. As soon as the door was held open and Bayden motioned for him to follow, Dmitry got the hell out of there. He didn’t care if that could get him in trouble later for being out of bounds or in a restricted area. He didn’t even care if anyone saw. He just followed Bayden.
As soon as they were safely in the little housing unit, Dmitry looked around curiously. He noticed the same kiddie-proof vibe the other building had, but this seemed warmer, more normal somehow. He immediately noticed the art supplies, too. “You paint?” But he was only partially paying attention to the answer. No, he was really just processing that Bayden had, for however long, been able to live here, on his own, in his own place. That was cool.
He followed Bayden to the window and looked out, spotting the house and the windows as his friend explained about them. Then, of course, he looked up. There was a decent portion of sky visible from here, and it wasn’t like Briarcliff was surrounded by much obnoxious lighting. There were lights, yes, but pointed towards the ground, and in this direction with the house, the trees did a reasonable amount of shielding. Yes, this would do for stargazing.
“I wish I had a view like this. In my room at home, I could see everything. The attic was even better, but my room had the telescope,” he explained. “Nice big window towards the back of the house, nothing annoying blocking the view. I miss that… Only that. Do you think— No, it might be a bit much…” He trailed off, considering whether it was fair or even reasonable to ask for something like binoculars, or even a small telescope. Just a small one.
In the end, he really was still just a kid, and Bayden had shown interest in a topic Dmitry was passionate about. That meant a lot, especially in a place like that and with limited options for entertainment and interaction. He was clinging desperately to something that brought him comfort, and if he could share with Bayden, even better.
It seemed like Dmitry was just poking around at the idea so Bayden left it at that.
As for the stars, "Yeah, one more thing to do around here. Might as well. Ya know, because there's just soooooooo many options." He drolled out sarcastically. If someone was willing to be nice and do something with him that seemed halfway interesting at all he was down.
Once inside his little assisted living home everything felt so relieving. Even one more reminder Dmitry was a rule breaker which he already knew, but just that alone was another soother. He felt good in the moment.
Paint? Bayden's looked around at the evidence. "Oh uh... well yeah. I mean, I'm really more of a sketcher. I'm not as good with paints. I like the detail I can get with pencil. Erm... I just... once in the beginning here, I used a number 2B charcoal pencil as a stabbing weapon on an orderly. So, it took them a long time to give them back to me. Forced me to hone my painting skills. But, I always go back to pencils. Lesson learned. Only used what you don't want taken. They never let this lady, Shirley use her bed pan again. Permanent cath." He shivered at the thought.
"Yeah, those rooms suck big balls in every way, dirty." Bayden had no qualms admitting Briarcliff were not for the faint of heart. State of the art facility his ass. He'd seen the pamphlets and how desirable it makes it look to outsiders like it's some vacation retreat or rehab worthy of celebrities. It was to make people feel better for locking their family up. It was a prison. Bayden could see it no other way. A judge did sentence his life to it after all.
Bayden was an isolated person and someone, even a kid was showing interest in some hobby of his, so he walked over to pick up a sketch book when he noticed the way Dmitry was all over with his words. He didn't hand it over to him. He stopped and was catching on to where his friend was leading instead.
"Oh uh... you mean a telescope? In here?"
He curled the sketchbook under his arm and gave it a think.
"I mean we have one at home in the den. I don't know anything about it. I always thought it was just part of the den aesthetic for decoration. Like a big wooden globe with the gold thing on it, a little ship in a bottle. You know old people den stuff. It all matched and had an antique feel. I don't even know if it was real. I was never really supposed to play in the den. It was like Mom's reading room. Lots of books in there on shelves all over the walls. It was sort of her at home office too."
"Anyway, I could always ask?" He shrugged about it. "If she pulls a fuss it'll set things in motion to get a brand new one. I'll say it'll make me feel better reminding me of her and our chats on the cozy chair in the den. Sentiment always gets her. I got this. Just give me some time to work on her."
HC: Just more thoughts on the last song Bayden posted and why the lyrics get to him. There's some that's obvious about his life. But it was in his dissection of the lyrics. The very title. Pax Psychosis.
PAX
a period of peace that has been forced on a large area, such as an empire or even the whole world, by the most powerful nation of that time:
Pax Romana (= the peace forced by Rome on its empire)
The vice president promised that there would be no attempt to impose a Pax Americana on the region.
That's where the definition of Pax threads his obession and how he views his life being the one forced to keep the peace under terrible circumstances and belief systems that aren't his own while in a literal asylum. Forced peace. This ran deep in his head for a long time after he learned the term. It was such a conundrum. This runs deep especially when his mother is keeping his media spoon fed, his social life, everything PG rated with the Disney lines while in the community room, and faking happiness is the only clear path to mimimal freedoms of choice as he stays caged in a large group of other sedated minds. But at least his mother's life is at peace? He has three square meals a day and a roof. Or so Bayden tries to convince himself like he's some sort of walking martyr. But as he's only human he can never hold the mask for long periods of time and shit always goes wrong. He goes back and forth in his mind who the real dictator is, Monty or his mother. Forced peace. He feels like that's his calling in the world thathis mother seems to run sitting in Briarcliff on Monty's charges, and all he's really good for is to play the part that keeps the peace. It's the only world he knows. It feels like the whole world to him. He was never meant to exist after all.
Unity constructing isolation Conformity constructing tyranny Bureaucracy and administration A new cold wave of anxiety
Head high March forth Don't ask Don't talk Kneel down Conform Decay Forlorn
Pax Psychosis is just a matter of time With a cold steel logo pointing to the sky Free burgers for you, once you've paid the price Just take in those rules and never ever think twice
A new formed order - So you can sleep tight Controlling forces - A covert genocide Populist thinking - So you can rest your mind Just like we've seen before - yet we ignore the eagle's cries
Head high March forth Don't ask Don't talk Kneel down Conform Decay Forlorn
Pax Psychosis is just a matter of time With a cold steel logo pointing to the sky Free burgers for you, once you've paid the price Just take in those rules and never ever think twice
Exchange your culture for a Disney smile Constrict your view for a cheaper petrol mile Exhume the shame we burden and turn upon the rest Is this what you want? Is this what you request?
Head high March forth Don't ask Don't talk Kneel down Conform Decay Forlorn
Pax Psychosis is just a matter of time With a cold steel logo pointing to the sky Free burgers for you, once you've paid the price Just take in those rules and never ever think twice
Bayden Finds Dmitry
“So…” Dmitry trailed off, thinking out loud. “You could get anything you want in here? Within reason, I mean, but… You could?” That could be useful, if Monty could sneak things in for Bayden. That could be fun. It felt like an idea brewing, but it was far too abstract just yet for it to make any sort of sense beyond just wanting to know if it was possible to sneak things in at all.
About Shiloh, Dmitry listened closely. He noted that Bayden seemed uneasy about the topic, which… yeah, that made sense. If Shiloh wasn’t real, Bayden probably got a lot of shit about the topic. Dmitry wasn’t about to push it further — people could get dangerous when they got uncomfortable, he’d sure learned that the hard way. He didn’t trust anyone uncomfortable. “Yeah, I think I getcha,” he replied quietly, deciding not to comment further.
Dmitry was starting to get uncomfortable with how uneasy Bayden had become from the conversation. Still, he didn’t quite feel off enough about it to leave, either. Bad call? Who knew. At this point, he barely cared, anyway. But something about Bayden still, even then, gave Dmitry the impression that everything would be alright. He chose to trust that.
He stood up and walked with Bayden, trying to look as casual as possible so no one would stop them as they did. He’d learned from watching people around his father that if you really wanted to get in and out of places easily without being stopped by most people, you just had to look and act like you knew what you were doing and were meant to be there. Granted, they were very obviously not staff, but if the staff didn’t pause long enough to look at who they were, then maybe they could slip out like Bayden had suggested and get to the assisted living house? Just maybe, just for a while. That was worth trying, in Dmitry’s opinion. “We can try the house,” he agreed.
He walked silently with Bayden for a while before deciding silence was boring. “So um… The cranes, can you show me how to make them sometime? I figure… might as well have something to keep me busy at night when the lights are out. I used to stargaze but I can’t really see the sky very well from my room.”
"I get stuff in here others usually can't." Bayden admitted unsure why he admitted that. He wasn't usually a braggart about it. That was the sort of thing that could get him caught. But, Dmitry helped him out before, at least that's how his memory remembered it, it felt like they had a connection. It was all very confusing to Bayden over time and treatment.
"You got something particular in mind?"
During the Shiloh conversation Dmitry said he understood and he didn't make fun of him. He didn't say anything negative. He understood. That felt like enough. It calmed him down enough to keep going. Fear of a reaction to what he could hardly admit to himself much less say out loud was a deep dread. Dmitry managed to make the outcome easy enough. The moment passed.
"Cool." That was the end of that for the time being.
Bayden started to get preoccupied by his cottage after they went for their walk.
"Yeah. I could show you that and you could show me constellations. I don't know shit about them. You know about 'em? I can see 'em when I'm in my house." He emphasized my with daggers in his voice it came out so possessive. After living in there for so long he felt cheated out of it.
They made it to the door and he didn't have his keycard to go through. He pushed his face up against the glass.
"The cones are up." He stood on tip toes as if that was going to give him a better view while cupping his hands around his eyes. "I don't know what that means. Usually they're only up if no one's living in it or if someone just died. I have to be-"
Sure. He couldn't stand the thought of someone else in his house. His stuff had been in there. Where was all his stuff? He assumed it was still there and waiting for him. Now he was nervous.
Right when he was peering he saw one of his neighbors come up and open the doors to come inside. They waved at him and stepped in.
Bayden took his chance and held the door open and waved Dmitry out. The patient that let him out didn't think twice considering he usually lived out there. Bayden was a known assisted living member even if he'd been missing awhile.
He'd go jogging straight for his own little square home. The doors did not lock from the outside believe it or not for their own safety so the nurses could still get in. So, he easily pushed the door right open. He wanted in fast in case they were on camera outside on the grounds. He was pretty certain they would be. He was just crossing his fingers no one in security noticed.
Once inside he'd slam the door behind him.
The first big smile spread across his face.
"Home."
He sat down in a plastic chair. Everything inside the place was danger proof. The edges were round on tables, chairs, counters. Lamps and other likely objects were bolted down. Dmitry might not see it but even the cutlery in the drawers were plastic. He had a microwave but no working stove in the tiny kichen. What was most important to him was the place was empty and he could see the remnants of his own belonings still there. It wasn't much. Just drawing books (which contained his quite themed stylized artwork) scattered here and there, paints and brushes, pencil cases, and sketch books.
"I knew she was bluffing."
He did not know she was bluffing. He'd been truly worried that his house was up for grabs. He felt so much better knowing his mother was just waiting him out again.
He looked over and the best part was there was a window.
The cottages were high enough on the land that through his window he could see down at his own house. That was the first thing Bayden wanted to show Dmitry. It wasn't on Briarcliff land. But there was an aerial viewpoint. Just over the fenceline from the back.
"See that. That's where I grew up. That window in the back with dark black outs. It's my room."
The home he'd point to outside was much grander, the sort of house a rich kid grew up in. It had a pool off to the side yard and gorgeous landscaping that only money could buy. It would have a historical feel with modern love tended to it. It was no wonder it was a doctor's home actually, a doctor with her face on medical magazines, with books, on talk shows, and has a hand in pharmaceuticals.
Then a window down the window coverings were vibrantly pink. "The pink one is Monty's room." It kept a smile on his face just seeing home. It was always just out of reach, but something about seeing it there always made him feel better. It always felt like a promise he could get back to it even if it was just for a day if he loved his mother enough. Sometimes she even obliged. Not often. Certainly not recently. But she had snuck him home before. "Sometimes she'll wave at me."
He wasn't sure he'd told anyone that before. No matter his complex feelings he longed to see his family and them most outside these walls when they got to pretend everything was normal, even just for a little while.
Bayden Finds Dmitry
“I mean, if ya think about it, aren’t you the one playing with them? Make them run aroudn in circles, filling out the paperwork, filing shit, wasting their time?” He mused, almost smiling at the thought. It was like a game to him, the concept. If he couldn’t get out of there himself, he could at least have some fun with it, surely. Not that he was even in a position to do that yet, no. But Bayden sure seemed like he could be.
Then about Amy, he nodded. “She’s fun like that. A drink would be nice, but I’m extra not allowed,” he huffed. So, sure, he was still a teenager, and sure, he wasn’t supposed to drink - especially not on meds - but he had before. It wasn’t like his dad particularly cared, and the man was almost always passed out on the couch drunk past a certain hour. It was only too easy to sneak by that and drink some himself, too. So he’d had liquor before, enough to develop a preference or other. The whiskey Bayden was referencing, however, wasn’t part of the repertoire. Not in that house. No, the name was purely a reference to Amy’s bright orange-red hair and how it swayed when she ran, like flames licking the air.
He tilted his head curiously at Bayden’s explanation that only his sister ever visited. First of all, V-Raptor had a sister? That alone was new information to Dmitry. “Honestly, a bitch is more interesting than no visitors at all,” he commented, almost wanting to meet the infamous sister. “What about Shiloh?” He asked, remembering Bayden had mentioned her at some point. Surely a fiancee would visit?
He fiddled with the wristband identifying him as a patient and shrugged. “No idea, haven’t asked,” he admitted. He’d been holed up in his room this whole time, actually, and it was Bayden’s visit that had gotten him to bother leaving those four walls. “No yoga, fuck that shit, they make ya stretch all weird and people stare? Nah. We can skip the horses if you want, though, I don’t care. Just need to go not here… or approximately not here. I’m bored and everything sucks and the nurse on shift is a mean one and I don’t wanna deal with her.”
"I suppose so." Bayden had his own situation going on and therefore it wasn't actually a game to him. He didn't have the same mentality. He'd been there too long and he understood too much.
"Yeah, I'm not allowed either. It doesn't stop me from trying." Now that was the sort of thing that became a game to him. Messing with staff or trying to steal from cabinets when his mother wasn't looking during those day passes he used to get on holidays. He was starting to wonder if he'd ever qualify again. He's worked his way up before. He was going to get there.
It was only dawning on Bayden how little he'd let Dmitry in when he didn't realize he had a sister. There was almost a relief to it in a way. It was almost nice when people didn't have preconceived ideas of who he was or his family for that matter. They had a reputation and it had a tendency to follow him around even in here where nobody knows his name... or everyone knows his name.
"Yeah, actually... I don't really mind when Monty comes. She usually brings me stuff. Snacks, comics, or... just stuff." He confessed. Sibling love. It existed even with Bayden and Montgomery.
Then there it was, the most cringeworthy question of all questions. Bayden could only sigh at first.
"Shiloh. Right."
His hands fiddled. His feet scooted around the floor moving dust at odd angles.
"Um... about her." His hands went into the sides of his hairline above his ears and started to grip and let go, grip and let go. Breathe in. Breathe out. He shook his head.
"I don't know... I don't think she was real." He hit one temple with the side of his fist while puffing out his cheeks and then blew all the air out his mouth slowly. "That's what the doc said. I hear stuff sometimes, you know?" He kept shaking his head though like it still didn't make sense to him. "It just felt so real." No one had come to him that met her in real life to claim any different. Her signatures had been removed from the visitor roster. It felt to him like she never existed. He rolled his eyes at himself. "Fuck it right?"
"Yeah okay. Fuck yoga. Fuck horses." He kept tapping though. He was getting antsy after speaking about that. Dmitry was somehow one of the lucky few he spoke to and didn't lash out at, but he looked like he wanted to lash out at something. Something about getting a hint of what happened with his father kept Bayden on the level in a way he wasn't with other patients so far. "Let's go then."
He stood up ready to go somewhere. Anywhere but there. He was winging it. "Let's see what's emptiest. Art therapy room? Music room? We could just go outside and see how close we can get to my house. I hate being in here in the hospital rooms. I want to go back to my assisted living cottage in the back. I want to see if they've gotten the balls to move my shit out yet or not. If not I might still have a chance of getting back in. Maybe they're just trying to scare me. You want to come check it out with me?"
As they started walking he kept wondering how much harm his sister could cause. In his head it felt like a lot, but if everything was a delusion then he needed to relax. A part of him wanted to protect Dmitry from his sister and another part wanted to just relax and let things get back to normal again. Let things be okay. Life had been relatively okay considering his lifetime sentence to this place. His mother kept him cozier than most. What more could he really ask for?
Bayden Finds Dmitry
“Hey, life’s better than death row. Life gives ya a chance at goin’ out. If you want, anyway,” he commented with a shrug. “The lawyer, he uh… says I’ll be here for a while. I don’t think I like how non-specific it sounded when he was talking, but also I don’t think there’s much he can do anyway. Keep me outta jail is better I guess; safer.”
He listened to Bayden talk about being hated by his mother, though, and nodded silently. It was not a thought he hadn’t considered yet - that as much as he looked like his mom, he also had a resemblance to his dad, the asshole. Dead asshole, he had to remind himself. At least he had that in his favor. But the resemblance was there regardless. It was one of the reasons he seemed so intent on ruining his body, like if he could kill it, he’d be able to excise the evil he felt he contained. But the thought that his mother might not love him because of that… that one was a difficult thought to hold, to process. It was, of course, not true - she loved him. But he’d managed so easily to dig that specific hole today and situate himself deep within it, that he’d forgotten that part, the part where she loved him to death.
“A’m not useful,” he muttered, slurring slightly because of the drugs. “Better that I’m not a girl, though. Woulda been worse probably. At least with me he could only- would’ve been worse, for a girl.”
He pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on his arms, trying to keep warm but also trying to keep himself some semblance of sheltered. It was no use, there was no hiding in that place, but it felt better anyway.
With Bayden’s question about visitors, though, he shrugged and looked at his friend. “There’s Fireball,” he said, meaning Amy, “but she shouldn’t come see me. Not like this, I think. She’d be sad. She writes to me and I can write back, but no pencil though so it’s kinda silly.” Then he paused and, lowering his voice so only Bayden could hear, he explained: “She’s smart, I can tell her things and they wouldn’t know just from reading. She’ll know though, and she answers too. Not much she can do though, not really. But… she’ll know if I need her to, and that’s good enough for me.” The two had long ago developed a sort of pidgin, from having met when Dmitry was still only just learning English, and from their time as friends, which inevitably gave rise to a series of codewords and inside jokes and references they could use to communicate with each other. It helped, too, that he was into puzzles, into codes and cyphers, and that she enjoyed that sorta thing too. It had been his way of talking to her over the phone when needed, without his father understanding what he was really saying. He trusted Amy.
He didn’t want to endanger her, though, and in part, he was worried that communicating with her would draw attention from the gang to her, as a point of weakness to attack him with if they couldn’t get to him in Briarcliff. That was his concern. But this, he didn’t yet feel like telling Bayden about. It seemed somehow too risky and revealing, like if he said it then it would be real and Amy really was in danger because of him, and he didn’t want to believe that.
“Any chance they’ll let me go outside? I’m cold.”
"Is it though?"
Bayden was feeling sassy.
"Appeal this, file that, blah blah blah, continuance, bullshit legal talk. Yeah whatever it is. I get it. That's what it means. It means jerking you around for a shit long time."
Bayden lifted a brow in a shruggy shit out of luck way when Dmitry said he wasn't useful. Stupid mom. He thought Dmitry was useful. What couldn't that lady see? But, before he could say it the other had gone on about it how it'd have been worse if he'd have been a girl. It didn't take long for Bayden to deduce what that meant, especially considering his own life and how he knew he even came to be in this world.
"Definitely would have been worse."
He got quiet after that thinking of how much worse his mother's life was because he was born.
A big part of Bayden wanted to comfort Dmitry with the way he drew his knees up, but all his feelings got muddled up in how he was the plague and he was the last thing that should be touching anyone, much less a guy like that.
"Fireball? Sounds like a drink. I like her already. What I would give for a real drink in here."
Then the shame crept in as he thought of girls. Damnit all to Hell. He was going to have to admit to Dmitry sometime his wasn't real.
It didn't sound like Dmitry was going to have any visitors though.
"I only get one visitor. My sister. It's the only visitor I ever have."
Setting it up like that he realized the past was opening up. He'd get there.
"I'd let you meet her for fun but she'd probably just be a b. I mean I love her, but she's more trouble than she's worth." He was trying to give him an it's a thought that counts moment.
"Outside? Uh... I don't know. I don't know what your personal restrictions are."
Then he looked around and rubbed some sleep out of his eyes heavy from the meds. "We could go see if they'll let us in the courtyard or go sign up for yoga or some bullshit like that. I'm not going near the equine therapy trails today. That's all I'm saying."
He was still having nightmares of dead horse all over the yard. They'd managed to convince Bayden that was his hallucinations too, a trauma response from hearing that his favorite horse had passed on. He never had responses quite like this before. He was starting to feel like he was losing his mind.
Bayden Finds Dmitry
V-Raptor [ replying to this | @iconoclast-infidels ]
That made two of them.
Real or not, I have a friend.
That was good enough for Bayden today. Shiloh wasn’t real and that was the happiest he could remember being when he was with her. So, if Dmitry wasn’t real then who cares. It didn’t matter. Dmitry made Bayden feel good inside, a little piece of light all his own, in the middle of his world of darkness.
“Yeah, who needs it? Pft. Over rated place.” He perked a grin especially at the boring depressed part.
“Oh yeah, I know that look. The this case no longer can get me in the medical books because there’s nothing special about it anymore look. I know that look well, or no, the I can’t write an award winning book with this boring patient. He’s wasting my time look.”
Then he hunched his shoulders in and leaned in closer to Dmitry as if to tell a secret and whispered low, eyes smiling up at the crane on his friend’s head. “Boy we’ve got them all fooled, don’t we?”
Then Bayden laughed. He smiled so wide his face had forgotten what it felt like. He laughed bigger and deeper than he had in over a year.
“They think I’m too like normal or some shit, which is hilarious cause then I wouldn’t be here, now, would I?” He asked, deadpan and keeping quiet for a while before eventually breaking character and laughing with Bayden. “But you know, I’m still daydreaming smarter things while on drugs than they could possibly hope to understand if they even tried.”
Then silence. It seemed almost like his mind was elsewhere. He picked up the crane again and held it in his hands, idly toying with it, inspecting the folds and the texture of the paper. Bayden had skill, that was for sure. He wondered if Bayden would ever teach him how to do origami, and what else he knew how to make.
Then he sighed and spoke quietly, not looking away from the crane. “I don’t think I’m ever getting out of here. Except maybe in a body bag. Maybe. I miss mom. I think she hates me. Otherwise she’d have come, right? She would have, she’s my mom, she can’t just… Maybe she hates me.”
There it was, the thing that was weighing on his mind suddenly. It was only after he’d said it that he realized he’d actually said it out loud. That was a lot. He was afraid suddenly that Bayden would leave, too, like somehow him being vulnerable would be too much for his older friend.
@nyantry
"Daydreaming smarter. I like that." He really did. Bayden was taking mental notes. He didn't think very many patients were clever, but Dmitry had been.
Body bag.
"Yeah well, I suspect as much. I got a life sentence after all." He shrugged with a shoulder of indifference at this point despite the fact all he could see was every moment of his last escape attempt gone wrong behind every blink of his eyes. "Sometimes I think the bigger question is how long will I let that life be?"
He really came back... voluntarily... on purpose. Now that he was back he couldn't fathom his own stupidity. He needed his mother. What kind of grown ass man needed his mother this badly?
Moms.
Of course Dmitry would speak of mothers. Bayden lifted his narcotic laced eyes and stared blankly at the wall across from them both. "Maybe. Probably. All mothers hate their sons for not being daughters. Or maybe that's just spawns of their mothers' lowest moments who wear the face of the devil's memory, like me?" Bayden had come to this conclusion long ago. "That's why we have to be useful. That way they still have a reason to care. It's as close to love as we'll get. It's all we've got."
Too vulnerable? Nah. The bigger question here would also be could Dmitry handle Bayden's boomerang unshielded bluntness and self degradations that seemed to profess to all? Calling his father the devil was about as close as he ever got to mentioning him.
"You got anyone else to visit you on visiting days?"
He assumed that's what the other meant when he said she didn't come. He waited to be corrected otherwise.
Bayden Wardeyn ║ 24 ║Human / Mental Patient ║ FC: Andy Biersack
::: OCCUPATION
No current employment, though he does help the landscaper pull weeds around Asylum Acres property. He doesn’t have a normal job because he’s a patient and inmate housed and taken care of by the criminal justice system and Briarcliff Mental Health. His mother provides extra luxuries in his life when the state approves it.
::: RESIDENCY
He lives in a standard assisted living cottage in Asylum Acres.
::: PERSONALITY
Bayden has an offish personality who can go from social to anti-social as quick as a light can switch. He can appear humorless with lack of emotion or very distant. He often comes off as indifferent. He has a somber brood in his exterior facade. He’s secretive and solitary. He doesn’t like to talk, but when he does the whip of his harsh tongue can scar even the thickest skin. He’s prone to anxiety, depression, and opposite manic behaviors. He can be bold as brass and just as timid given the right circumstances.
His medical history unfolds compulsive behavior, hostility, isolation, self-harm, irritability, risky behavior, and lack of restraint. He’s impulsive with a distorted self-image, mood swings, and sporadic narcissism. He has been a suicide risk in the past. Though he’s been educated with more coping skills since. He has technically been diagnosed with schizophrenia, although this doesn’t define his personality.
His personality is involved in music, poetry, movies, and other forms of artistic entertainment. This includes drawing, painting, a keen interest in tattoos, and body modification. He likes puzzles. Games and coloring books have become a way of life when life centers around the community room in a mental institution.
::: BACKSTORY
Bayden Shannon Wardeyn is the son of the prestigious Dr. Jude Wardeyn’s unfortunate assault. He wasn’t the child who happened as an accidental love-child. No. Nor was he a child planned. He was a bitter and daily reminder of the worst day of his mother, Jude Wardeyn’s life. Growing up this wasn’t information that he knew. He thought he was like any other kid being raised by a single mother. The only thing he did notice was his mother seemed to favor his younger sister. He attributed it to her being a girl or the baby of the family. Little did he know his mother’s complex emotions of love for him because he was hers and despise for him because he was also his (”the big bad His”) would play such a big part in Bayden’s story. The big bad His is still a name and a face his mother would like to lose the memory of. But, Bayden’s face was always there smiling up at her with his father’s toothy grin. She didn’t dare burden Bayden with such information. But, still it was always there, left unsaid.
The family secrets only began to grow as his preteen rebellious side began to peek. His hometown of Horrorville gained headline news for a serial murder and soon enough it was him that was arrested for questioning. His mother’s esteem in the medical community didn’t cover up his reputation as a trouble maker. The fingers pointed his way quickly.
To make a long story short, his little sister, Montgomery was behind the serial murders. She stopped the moment Bayden was taken in for questioning. It didn’t make his defense look any better. During her murderous spree Bayden had committed a murder of his own though. It just happened to be the one murder he wasn’t blamed for. At 15 years old he found out about the tragic way he was conceived in a vicious fight with his sister that she always gets the bigger and better things. She shouted at him even though she’d been sworn to secrecy, “That’s because Mother doesn’t love you. She’s never loved you! You’re just that kid she was too moral to get rid of!” Bayden instantly quizzed her for what she meant by that. She finally spouted the whole truth when he threatened to burn her precious wardrobe holding a gas can and a match. It was all investigation from there. With enough snooping around he found his mother’s aggressor and took his life.
This murder goes unsolved to this day. He saw his mother smiling with tears in her eyes when she saw it on the news. That was good enough for him. He never told a soul. To bring these two stories together, come time for trial the world turned upside down. They tried him as adult. His mother put Montgomery’s psychiatric files into Bayden’s files and combined them creating a longer history of issues. She “laid off” their usual doctors and sent them away with high recommendations to new positions far away. She assigned them to new doctors who could only believe what was in the files before them and work from there. Another long story short, Bayden was found unfit for trial and the trial was put off for another 2 years. This is also around the time his mother came up with the rehabilitation program and was granted full funding from an anonymous donor. In trial he was found GBMI in a court of law. This means Guilty But Mentally Ill and this lead him into a life as an inmate, but also a patient of Briarcliff Mental Health, and a permanent resident of Asylum Acres.
He isn’t aware that his mother knew it was his sister all along. But, this is why she switched the files, framing Bayden, because she didn’t want anything to happen to her precious daughter. He refused to let his mother’s one perfect child, the child she wanted all along, be tainted. He loves his mother. She already believed it was him that was the murderer, or so he believed. It made sense. He took the fall for his sister’s sociopathic behavior. He keeps close with his sister to this day. There’s also a part of him that feels he deserves to be imprisoned and punished for the vigilante justice he took into his own hands when he murdered his father. He’s constantly conflicted. But, that’s Bayden and now he’s finally progressed to an Midpatient Level 2 and will see the outside of the asylum for the first time since he was 15 years old cuffed with an anklet that keeps him inside Horrorville and monitors his every move. It’s a whole new world for him.
::: SECRETS
VOIDED
::: RELATIONSHIPS (For more information on Bayden please read his connections’ bios)
Dr. Jude Wardeyn [Mother]
Monty Wardeyn [Half-sister]
He would also know many patients at Briarcliff since he’s a patient there himself