Petite moon

Lolita days memorial (2007-2010) Memories, pictures and stories from my Lolita days.

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2006, 14 years old I had just being transfered from private school to a public one where I hoped to find friends who shared my interests. I loved gothic clothes and had just found out about Visual-kei. My room was full of posters of Chobits and Sailor Moon posters and was slowly becoming filled with pictures of visual-kei and Lolitas. I had a childhood friend who was interested in Lolita too but was always in a competitive state of mind - we had started goth toghether and I was always envious of her Emily the strange clothes that were expensive. She was the first to buy burando and make Lolita friends online. When the movie Shimotsuma Monogatari (Kamikaze Girls) came out, she went to see it with her new Lolita friends and didn’t invite me. It was quite a moment for my 14 years old self. remember sitting on the steps of my house tearing up, thinking to myself, “I’ll never be a Lolita!” 

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Old-School coord in black and white are the EGL looks I miss the most. Two of my favourite memories and outfits.

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We were filmed for a short Lolita documentary. This is my favourite scene. It is special to me because I am walking with my friend Candice (left). Lolita fashion didn’t bring along many real friends like her. If you were a somewhat successful Lolita, other lolitas wanted to be associated with you - not so much be friends, friends who love eachother in their PJs and eating ramen with their hair in a bun. I used to long for a Lolita friend so much - I was lucky I got even better: an honest friendship. 

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You would say that this was my best look. It made me become a well-respected Lolita online, but the truth is that meeting was rather stressful. We wanted to look good on pictures. We wanted others to think we were polished enough. It wasn't about being ourselves and having a good time with other Lolitas, it was about impressing eachother. I didn't realize that in the exitement of becoming popular back then, but that element would later be the cause of the end of my Lolita days.

Sainte-Dolorès, Lolita meet up (2009)

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I enjoyed Halloween so much being a Lolita. My former Lolita idol Kasumi would decorate the fuck out of her house -she loved halloween more than anyone. Going to her halloween parties were so much fun. Everyone was dressed up super fun and the ambiance was wild. We would listen to The Candy Spooky Theather and dance on visual-kei. I have had dreamed and dreamed (still dream of) of attending the fabulous EGL club night I once saw in an old japanese EGL documentary - Lolitas twirling and dancing dramatically under flashing lights. Kasumi’s halloween parties were the closest I would get to thoses dream lolita parties.

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2007 - I remember looking at every Gothic & Lolita Bible scans on the Avant-Gauche website when I was 15 years old, fascinated. The Lolitas I admired so much were often paired with Aristocrat looking girls, and I looked at them stunned at their badass elegance, never even dreaming of one day exploring different Lolita styles, as I couldn’t even imagine then being the Lolita I dreamed of becoming.

Theses pictures are from a small summer Lolita gathering in 2009 that had been organised by Katiana (in the middle). Katiana made her own Lolita clothes and was kind and light-hearted. Her vision and creativity reminded me of Kana, and my former Lolita idol Kasumi, who both did not care too much about Lolita rules wich made their Lolita styles more romantic and authentic. It was only a few of us and I felt at ease. I wore a Victorian Maiden skirt and an Alice and the Pirates blouse. Without noticing, I had become the lolita aristocrat I once looked at in awe.

I would attend less and less meetings as the Lolita community was changing, becoming more serious and rules-oriented.