This scene genuinely may be my favourite in the entire show. It is so insanely well written, directed and, of course, acted.
Jesse looking at Walt with a look of almost disbelief when he says “in a few years time, this could be nothing more than a bad dream” as if Jesse is EVER going to forgive himself for the death and hurt he’s caused.
Jesse hesitating but still getting up and, for the FIRST TIME, confronts Walt face to face, not for an act of violence he’s done like when Jesse “believed” he poisoned Brock, but for MANIPULATION. Whatever Jesse has confronted Walt in the past with, Walt has always been able to worm his way out of it confidently through manipulation but now? Now Jesse is finally accepting Walt’s true nature, something that he’s been suspecting for a long time but chosen to ignore.
Jesse’s indignity as he tells Walt to just “ask him for a favour”. The hurt he feels knowing that Walt would rather resort to manipulating him rather than just ask him for help. He knows here that they’re not equals, that he’s the student with the question that needs to be pushed and prodded by the teacher into getting the right answer. He knows that Walt will never come to him for help the way Jesse would go to him. It’s not a partnership, Walt is the authority. Jesse is characterised by his fierce loyalty, shown in the many instances of “you kill Mr White, you’re gonna have to kill me”, whereas Walt’s has always been a lot tamer in “you kill Jesse, you don’t have me.” By not asking Jesse to leave for him, he attacks Jesse’s loyalty and underestimates his intelligence. And the worst part? Jesse was so far under Walt’s influence that he probably would pack his bags and get an entirely new identity for the man.
The way Jesse’s voice starts the tremble more (god bless Aaron Paul) when he tells Walt to “drop the concerned dad act” and to tell him that he “doesn’t care about him at all.” Here we’re shown exactly what Jesse views Walt to be, and what he desperately wants from his relationship with Walt. And we’re shown exactly how far Jesse would go for Walt given that caring about each other is clearly a bare minimum for him. He’s genuinely hurt by this realisation and it’s been a long time coming, suspicions that have built up over the last year and bit coming to rear their ugly heads.
The fear and betrayal in his voice when he says Walt is going to kill him if he says no, like he did Mike. The grief he feels for Mike but ALSO the grief he feels for Walt LYING to him about it. Going behind his back and killing a man that Jesse thought highly of and then LYING about it so Jesse will never really know what happened. Protecting Jesse’s peace of mind as if he’s a kid who’s dog “went to live on a farm” instead of the man that Jesse is. He’s smart and it’s an insult to him over and over again that Walt still sees him as a stupid junkie that will be fooled by “Mike’s living happily ever after somewhere”. The fact that Jesse feels he’s just become another person to Walt that he’ll kill if he gives the wrong answer. He feels as if he means nothing to him.
And then, of course, the hug.
The way Walt steps forward so confidently but slowly, as if approaching a wounded animal. He knows this is exactly what will get Jesse when words aren’t enough, and he’s right. He’s looking down on Jesse in the most paternalistic way (Bryan Cranston is a treasure for this) and he knows this is all it will take to comfort him.
And Jesse looks terrified. Like he knows this is it. He’s confronted Walt and now he’s going to get shot. He doesn’t know what he’s about to face and he takes a step back.
And then Walt goes in for a hug and Jesse minutely shakes his head, moving back further the slightest bit, looking even more scared. Because he KNOWS that this hug is going to hurt more than any bullet. He KNOWS that the little independence he’s gained for himself in that moment is going to go out of the window the second he’s given a hug.
And Walt just carries on smoothly, knowing what Jesse needs. He gets an awkward hold on him that Jesse tries not to lean into. You can see it on his face as his eyes fill up with more tears and his breathing quickens. And then Walt gets a firmer hold on him and that’s all it takes. You can hear the second Jesse crumples, his head tilting to the side and fully leaning into the hug. He keeps his hands at his side. As if that restraint from comfort will keep him safe from the affects of the hug.
Walt starts rocking them from side to side.
You can see on the zoomed out shot that Jesse’s knees give way as he cries, relying entirely on Walt’s support. His hands stay by his side.
And once again, Jesse is the child and Walt is the adult.
And let’s not be funny here, Jesse hasn’t just immediately been manipulated back under Walt’s thumb. That’s probably the worst part. He’s not stupid. He knows Walt killed Mike. He knows that Walt still wants him to leave town. He KNOWS that Walt is manipulative. But this makes him think that Walt still cares about Jesse throughout it all (which, he actually does). This is Jesse’s last moment of deniability, of ignorance, of Walt’s cruelty. He’s finally starting to realise, piece by piece, how evil the man is and he knows that this is probably going to be the last time he can draw comfort from him whilst still maintaining that hesitant will to convict him for his crimes. Right now, he can pretend that Walt isn’t manipulative. But he knows he won’t be able to forever.
It kills me. It actually does.
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