They didn’t have the perfect marriage. Most days they fought. There were days John would leave for days at a time and was so sure that their marriage would be over. Sometimes it felt like their relationship was forced, but end of the day there was no one else John could have ever saw himself with. Nobody else mattered to him in the way that Mary did.
The first time he had saw her it had been love at first sight. He had told his high school best friend that he would marry her some day and the guy had laughed at how ridiculous it was. John never cared that Mary’s father didn’t like him or that their relationship was frowned upon. The only thing that had ever mattered was the way she would smile when he’d come up to the drive way or the way she ran into his arms with tears in her eyes from an argument with her parents, but the smile across her face told him enough to know that he could take that heartache away from her.
The night she died is a night John will never forgive himself for. They weren’t on good terms. They were arguing again. They were on the verge of another split, but for Dean and Sam’s sake they tried to keep it hidden. They were doing better at night fighting in front of the boys. Dean was getting to that age where he would start asking questions. After John had put Dean in bed, he had gone down stairs to watch TV. He had no intentions of coming upstairs and going to bed, just to avoid what he was sure would turn into an argument. Instead he let himself fall asleep on the couch expecting to be woken up in the morning with a scolding, but the two of them refreshed after a small break.
He never expected he’d never get the opportunity to apologize to her again.
