#but

[k-monteago]

I am scared to post about the game btw.

[pr3ttypunisherr]

i used to think that to be a good dom i had to be harder than i naturally am.

i’ve always attracted very masochistic subs. people who wanted to be pushed. who wanted it rough and mean and relentless. and because i cared about them. because i genuinely wanted to give them what they needed. i’d lean into it. i’d be more sadistic than felt true to me. i’d say the things they wanted to hear. call them what they wanted to be called.

and sometimes it worked. sometimes i could get there. but a lot of the time i’d feel awful after. like i’d done something that looked right from the outside but felt wrong from the inside.

the way i naturally dominate is affectionate. attentive. deeply invested in the person in front of me. i want to take you apart slowly. i want to learn every small response. i want my hands in your hair and my voice in your ear telling you how well you’re doing while i do something that completely wrecks you. i want to be the reason you fall apart and the arms you fall into after. i want to ruin you gently. i want to make you feel so safe and so taken apart at the same time that you don’t know how to hold both things at once.

and yes. i can be harder. i can slap you. spank you. choke you. i can use your desperation against you in ways that make you sob. i can hold you right on the edge and watch you beg and feel absolutely nothing except satisfaction about it. i can call you pathetic. call you dumb. coo at you in that way that’s sweet and tender on the surface with something sharp underneath that you don’t fully clock until you’re already too far gone to care. that all lives in me naturally. i’m not performing any of that.

but there’s a line.

and i want to be clear about something before i talk about that line. i understand the appeal of harder degradation. i really do. i’ve read it. i’ve written adjacent to it. i know why it works for people. there’s something about being completely stripped down. having someone say the most filthy humiliating thing directly to you and feeling it land somewhere that nothing else reaches. i get that that’s fantasy. i get that it’s not literal. i get that the sub who wants to be called worthless doesn’t actually believe they’re worthless and the dom saying it doesn’t actually mean it that way either. i understand the mechanics of it. i understand why it hits.

i’m not judging anyone who lives there. some doms are genuinely built for that space and they’re incredible at it and the subs who need that deserve to find them.

i’m just not consistently one of those doms.

i can visit. i can push myself there occasionally if the connection is right and the context is right and something in the moment makes it feel true rather than performed. but i can’t live there. i can’t make it my default. i’ve tried. it doesn’t sit right in my chest after. something in me keeps an account of it and i don’t like what that account says about me even when i know rationally that it was consensual. that it was wanted. that it was play.

the thing i’ve had to make peace with is that i used to see all of this as a limitation. like i was somehow less capable. less versatile. like a real dom should be able to go anywhere their sub needs them to go regardless of how it felt to get there. i’d stretch myself. i’d push past what felt natural. i’d do things that felt wrong and call it flexibility. call it service. call it being a good partner.

i’m not the right dom for everyone. i’ve made full peace with that. some people need something i’m not built to give consistently and that’s not a failure on either side. it’s just fit. it’s just honesty about who you are and what you can actually offer without losing yourself in the process.

but for the right person.

i’m exactly what they need.

[doppopoetry]

and there was only ash

https://archiveofourown.org/works/84454761/chapters/228698836

chapter 7/11 is now out

.

1-[phone] (ROBIN LIVES)

1-[phone] (FLUSH HIM)

Remaining time: 6 days 22 hours

[mixaether]

been mentally calling this a tumblr blorbos puck pack

love to fuck around at the tail end of an auction and score pucks for dirt cheap 🥰

[100meter]

my plans with kimi’s arms today at 7:00 pm

[seratem]

it's always fun to throw this around but -- WoL is 6'5 :3

˖ ˚ ✦ ▌ @sanctiichor ! ⦗ 𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞 / ALWAYS accepting ! ⦘

[apuzzledprince]

happy pride month to people who have mixed feelings on their identity

[primitivetalker]

I feel like I need to talk to my friends more. But I suck!