Unplanned Mommy?

I am a mother to a handsome boy that was born on February 2014. My pregnancy was unplanned and very tough at first. I am writing a book on my feminist view of motherhood. Ask me anything or chat with me. I would love to help you or discuss things.

[motherhoodunplanned]

#21 weeks

Nothing helps my extreme back pain except laying on the floor

[motherhoodunplanned]

My mom does not like Dr. Disrepect apparently

[motherhoodunplanned]

My boyfriend is very blunt and I don’t know how to get him to see that it isn’t always necessarily a good thing. I’m blunt too, but I know what will or will not hurt someone’s feelings. I know he doesn’t know because he told me “I don’t always know what will or will not hurt someone’s feelings.” He just says what he’s thinking.

For example:

When I say I got off BC because I didn’t want to have sex. It depleted my libido. And he says “yeah but why does it matter we still don’t have a lot of sex.” Like ok… you have no idea how much that hurts and how much that little bit more that we have sex makes me feel better.

When he nonchalantly tells people I don’t clean as well as he does. Which I never tell him but it’s 100% not true. We clean DIFFERENT things and in different ways. I always hated how he let dishes pile up before washing them and he’s pointed out how I don’t clean the pee around the toilet. He thinks of those things because he’s a guy. I never thought of it. His bathrooms at home — the counters were never clean. I notice that. I know he prides himself on how he cleans so I don’t call him out on it, but we both clean on the same level.

If he doesn’t notice things I naturally do often. The other day I asked if he wanted to go to Winn Dixie or Walmart. He said “you choose because I always make the decisions” in a nasty tone. Like I wasn’t the one who decided to call my mom to come to the beach instead of cancelling our trip, like I wasn’t the one that decided on two of our hotels, like I wasn’t the one that planned like 2 of our whole days and try to get us to stick to a time plan. After that, I just gave up and let him decide what he wanted to do.

He doesn’t mean to be hurtful. It’s just him. But it really hurts me and I need it to stop.

[motherhoodunplanned]

Me going grocery shopping at the beach and not picking anything out because I’m hormonal and situationally depressed at the moment

Me the next day with nothing to eat

[motherhoodunplanned]

Sometimes you feel so sad you could kneel down and collapse into the floor of a Walmart and NOT giving in and doing it is harder than it seems.

[thestrawberrynight]

spending time reading classical novels, playing with a cat, wearing vintage dresses, collecting flowers near the house, watering plants, wandering in the nearest park and talking with myself loudly, being at home and feeling safe

[adamslouamy]

Freaks and Geeks (1999 — 2000) Tests and Breasts

[motherhoodunplanned]

I mean technically you might still have a daughter and not know it yet! You don't know who that baby will become :)

That is very true

[motherhoodunplanned]

I found out the gender of our baby

And I feel terrible because I’m upset that it’s a boy. I really thought we had a chance at this being a girl. We have two boys already. My step son and my son. And this will be our last child and it’s a boy which means I’ll never have a daughter. Of course I still love my baby and of course I’m happy he is healthy and vibing down there, but I’m just disappointed.

I know I’ll look back on this post in a few months or years and cringe and be disappointed in the post.

[motherhoodunplanned]

ive recently picked up crochet and while its a lil tricky at first the repetive movement ingrains itself pretty quickly! there's a lot of resources on youtube, too. i believe in you!

Have you finished anything yet?

[motherhoodunplanned]

Need to find out the gender so I can crotchet a blanket ♥️

[motherhoodunplanned]

The more I think about it, the more I’m so mad someone came up to me at work and said “I noticed you’re getting a little pudge I was just wondering if you’re pregnant”

First of all, it’s BLOAT. How do they already feel comfortable enough to ask? I would NEVER. Second of all, why take away my option to announce myself when I’m ready? I know I’m hormonal but I’m so bothered by it. Like mind your own business. I’m not 12 weeks yet.

[motherhoodunplanned]

I have ugly puffy eyes now from crying uncontrollably in the background. Do you know how many MONTHS it’s been since I’ve cried like that?? If not over a year. Gotta get that in check…

[motherhoodunplanned]

You are the rays of sunlight. I do not want to shadow your light.

I want to feed the embers of the fire that keep us going, and I want to bask in that warmth forever.

You pour into me and it fills me. Take that away and I’ll be nothing but an empty shell, cracked and cold to the touch.

[motherhoodunplanned]

I had an absolutely wonderful off day. Total sarcasm because I’m currently crying. Which sucks because I have been working a lot and I don’t have another off day until next Thursday.

I hate when I feel upset

[motherhoodunplanned]

Make sure you don’t have a UTI. They’re common in pregnancy and can sometimes present without the stereotypical pain, just abnormally frequent urge to urinate.

Thank you! I did not know that so that’s really good to know.

[motherhoodunplanned]

There’s no way I peed this much when I was pregnant the first time. I don’t care if it was 8 years ago. I would remember. Peeing this much is miserable 😩