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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@mothtivities
With the ships, I color coded them so you can have an easier time finding them! The numbers next to them are how many I’ve already written!
RadioStatic/RadioSilence (3)
StaticMoth/VoxVal (5)
RadioJoy (1)
Chaggie/Chaggi (1)
HuskerDust (3)
RadioApple (15)
OTHERS (1)
Cooking With The Radio Demon
Alastor:
Charlie requested we submit suggestions for trust exercises… Angels suggestion won today. He asked Charlie pretend direct movies of his choosing.
Husker starred as the, “the badass saving his damsel from the vicious gang,” with Niffty as the damsel.
Vaggie portrayed herself in her autobiography before her damnation with costar, Angel, who poorly played as Adam.
Angel then directed, “Little Blonde Mermaid because we’re not copyrighting the original movie,” with Charlie starring as Ariel?
*CLAPS*
“Smiles, because of your heritage, I decided you’re showing the audience how to cook beignets!” Angel said proudly and pushing Lucifer closer. “Your short majesty, you’re assisting him!”
“Watch your mouth!” Lucifer growled removing his coat. “I can summon the beignets myself… without this worthless exercise! I’m not fucking ‘assisting’ shit!”
“YOU’RE PRONOUNCING BEIGNETS WRONG, YOU UNCULTURED ASSHOLES! STOP CALLING THEM BIG-NETS!” I growled throwing Husker my coat and rolling my sleeves.
“Beignets? Alastor, you’re not pronouncing a couple letters. You’re pronouncing beignets wrong.” Charlie said laughing.
“Wrong. Alastor never lies. Now, fucking fry beignets for your sweetheart over here, I’m starved!” Mimzy cheered from the audience and holding Niffty.
“Congrats, now scoot. Spider, start filming already, I’m behind schedule.” Lucifer said.
“Sure, devil-daddy.” Angel teased. I swear we’re not together but I growled. I’m not jealous. I’m grossed out. “Alastor, you’re frying beignets with your oddly short husband. Connect with the audience. Please entertain us! We’re all exhausted, no arguing, no powers… just act married.”
“Act married? I’m fucking single.” I growled blushing as Lucifer scoffed.
“Obviously. I’m already married, I’m not pretending for your fantasies.” Lucifer said.
“STOP FUCKING COMPLAINING! I’M THE FUCKING DIRECTOR AND WRITER! I DICTATE WHAT HAPPENS WITH THE SCENE! I’M THE FUCKING BOSS! LIGHTS! CAMERAS! ACTION!” Angel yelled.
••••
“Dust the beignets.” I said.
“I’m holding powdered sugar, not the dustpan, dumbass.” Lucifer said raising his eyebrow.
*LAUGHING*
“Lucifer… the object you’re holding right now, we call that a sifter or shaker… tap the sifter so the powdered sugar dusts the beignets.” I said.
“Shit.” He said tapping the sifter. “Your instructions are confusing. You’re a horrible teacher.”
“You’re a horrible sous-chef.” I growled.
“Done!” He said smiling.
I blushed. He genuinely smiled instead of his prideful one he normally carries around. I followed with the same genuine smile as cameras cut and lights dimmed.
“MAGNIFICENT! GLORIOUS! ALL THE SYNONYMS FOR THE WORD BEAUTIFUL!” Angel teased as the audience clapped.
“Whore.” I whispered.
“Right?” Lucifer whispered.
“STOP AGREEING WITH ME!” I growled storming out blushing as Angel congratulated Lucifer, and Charlie thanked the sinners for participating in today’s trust exercise.
God, I’m fucking hate love.
Valentinos unfortunately under more controversy as Vivziepop and her directors said he doesn’t know what the word consent means, he just thought it was “a fun word.” I honestly disagree very greatly with this statement and decided to post headcanons for Valentino myself (something I never thought I’d post, please comment if you want headcanons for other characters!)
Fans are claiming they’re ashamed or the characters aren’t real. I understand fans on both sides. Vivziepop glosses over everything and laughs with the directors. This is what pisses people off the most because you’re playing around with a dangerous idea/trait a character has. This character has been controversial from day one. I’m not hating Valentino (loved his character since season one, the dark and funny side of him.) I’m not dissing the show and will admit to watching it after all the controversies with the author, and things behind the scenes. I wish she would learn to hold her tongue more. We as the audience don’t need to know every detail about every character, good and bad. We deserve to have leeway with headcanons and canon events.
VALENTINO HEADCANONS:
• Valentino knows the word consent. If he learned about the waterboarding kink, he must know CNC (consensual-non consensual), a kink that requires the person to know what consent means. He plays with the word, but I feel he prefers using terms like safe words rather than “do you consent?”
• Pimp! A good amount of Hazbin fans (if not all) believe he was a pimp. I guarantee he learned about consent even during the time period he was alive.
• One more everyone believes: he died from aids. Valentino would’ve been the STD king! He slept with everyone and threw around diseases worse than patient zeros!
• Wears dresses for Vox because he understands how fragile his masculinity can be, and how uncomfortable he acts when seen publicly with Vox.
• Loves expressing himself as male but female when dominated. Loves nostalgic looks like his pimp outfit from season 2 episode 6 because it reminds him of his past life
• VERY CONTROVERSIAL: Dated Angel and became physically abusive (possibly sometime during, who knows and also verbally during the relationship) when he became interested in Vox.
• The manipulation tactics Vox used worked on Valentino in the beginning of their relationship but either became numb to the situation or his blindness (possibly his glasses) stopped him from being manipulated. This could’ve been a reason he fell for Vox considering he doesn’t even refer to him as a 10/10 in the drawing tutorial.
• Valentino shows off his best videos, especially ones with him starring to Velvette (girls girl but would prefer not to watch) and Vox (secretly loves them but becomes very jealous)
• Only respected Alastor (situational friends in the show) when he met Vox because of his title. Never had an interest in fighting him, just keep your distance and stop flirting with my tv.
• Hates the overlord meetings because he can’t understand them, but also he’s very independent with his work, him and Velvette. Not interested in overly powerful things outside of sex.
• Met Cherri Bomb once, offered her a job but she turned him down after seeing him hurting Angel
• He loves Velvette like a sister. Treats her better than Vox and spoils her with sexual, and nonsexual gigs (works both ways)
Ready for the Stage?
Husker:
Pentious redeemed himself first; Angel followed after once he accepted and repented for the murder of his father… we struggled but he deserves to see Heaven and reconnect with Molly again.
Sera evaluated the “leftover” sinners living at Hazbin and deemed safe by Charlie. We’re allowed to visit Heaven for a limited time every month, then we’re damned for the rest of the time.
I’m visiting Angel tonight because he joined Heavens Performance Nights with Saint Peter. He requested and approved adding drag nights to their schedule! I’m proud.
*KNOCK KNOCK*
Angel answered, dolled and handsome as usual. He squeaked and pulled me inside. “You’re not allowed here! Only performers can be here! Peter will fucking ban— you’re blushing! Stop blushing! You’re fucking embarrassing me!” He said, aggressively.
“Different. You decorated only using magenta… this reminds me of Barbie. You ever heard of the dolls?” I teased.
“Barbie? You fucking a Jersey whore? I used different shades and white! Now, who’s Barbie?” He said.
“I’m not fucking around. Barbies are dolls.” I said laughing. “You bought more wigs?”
“I’m broker than your leeching ass. Peter usually buys our products. I’m working with a different sugar daddy.” He said.
“Sugar twink.” I said.
“Whatever floats your boat. Husker, I’m behind and we’re ahead of schedule. I’m not entertaining this right now! Unless you’re planning on zipping this dress, leave and wait in the audience.” He said.
“You’re never this distracted. What happened? You’re not bound again, right? You’re not selling yourself to Peter? Can angels own souls?” I asked worried.
“I’m performing for archangels and seraphims tonight, not winners or sinners. I’m fucking nervous and the choreography changed. I’m supposed to act conservative because they’re traditional. Peter loves showing off but believes the seraphims will reprimand him and close his business even though they permitted him to open this place. I’m just used to showing off vulgarly! No restrictions! I’m not myself… I thought heaven accepted people to be themselves. I shouldn’t be hiding and worried. I changed for the better but am human… I deserve the right after working hard to be myself.” He said crying.
“Fuck Peter.” I said.
“Husker! Peter fucking signs my paychecks! Watch your mouth!” He said.
“You’re criticizing—nevermind. Angel, you’re not supposed to worry about others problems everyday. As of tonight, you’re supposed to worry about yourself and your career in this industry. His fucking problems with the traditional angels aren’t yours. Sera understood us sinners aren’t completely changed. She understood we can redeem our past-selves but will continue to sin everyday. Winners are allowed to do whatever but you’re not? You’re the second sinner to become a winner! Go and perform your old routine. One show will not kill him or the seraphims and archangels. Show what you’re capable of.”
“I understand, but I’m not blacklisting myself.” He said.
“You’re not blacklisting yourself. The seraphims and archangels literally watched you sexually exploit yourself for decades. One raunchy dance means nothing. They’ll understand. If you’re not performing as yourself, you’ll be considered robotic. A pushover. A fake. You’ll ruin your image you built because as a human, you hid yourself. Your father’s not stopping you. I’m not stopping you. You’re allowing Peter to stop you because of his image. Aren’t you your own person? You learned this after you sold your soul to Valentino. You’re not bound by him or Peter.” I said.
He sighed and smiled. “I guess I built everything after I died… you’re right. I destroyed my contract even though he… unfortunately and fortunately helped me build my platform. I’m not owned by Peter too. I’m my own person.”
“I’ll be waiting with Pentious.” I said kissing his cheek. “Wear the latex.”
“You’re fucking gross! Leave already!” He said blushing.
He pushed me and starting changing clothes. I then headed for the door and stopped, “Angel? You ready for the stage?”
“Everyday.” He teased.
NOTE: Sorry for not posting! Classes are becoming more demanding as we move deeper into the spring semester (second year, class of 2028😛) I’m posting the other two stories from the poll, they’ll be shorter than the others (RadioStatic and RadioApple) and Valentines Dat posts🩷!
Smile for the Camera
Valentino:
Morning already? I snuggled with Vox; he snored louder than his dial-up after we rebooted him. He malfunctioned so much before he replaced his head.
I kissed his screen and smiled. Picture time? I believe I hit the jackpot this morning! I pulled out the nearest phone and positioned myself against his chest.
I designed his body. His breathing pisses me off… not I hate knowing he breathes. He breathes through gills, he chose this feature, near his hips.
Imagine sleeping happily then feeling a disturbingly cold sensation on your back or fucking hear him struggle to breathe because the sheets are against the gills. You’d be fucking scared too.
“Smile.” I whispered angling the phone.
“Not happening, Valentino.” Vox growled pushing the phone. “You’re not showing us off just because you’re an influencer… a pathetic one.”
“I’m showing off the handsome screen I’m dating and fucking. Valentines Day revolves around couples bragging. I love bragging!” I said.
“Obviously. Post pictures tonight when we’re at Dantes or your Spanish restaurant… right now though, entertain yourself with something besides me, so I can sleep. I laid out a notebook and pencil yesterday.” He said rolling over.
“Rude!” I growled scooting closer and cuddling him. “You’re more entertaining than your stupid notebook and pencil! I’ll never leave your side!”
“Sure… goodnight.” He mumbled.
*SNAP*
“What happened? Who snapped the picture? Wasn’t me!” I teased hiding the phone.
“YOU SERIOUSLY DISOBEYED ME?” He growled jumping up. “DELETE THE FUCKING PICTURE!”
“I’m not obeying orders unless you’re bending me over… besides… your face… your face? VOX YOUR FUCKING FACE RUINED THE PICTURE! I’M NOT POSTING YOU BITING YOUR FINGER! YOU’RE TOO SUGGESTIVE! YOU’RE ONLY ALLOWED TO BE SLUTTY FOR ME!” I said.
“I’m guessing you’ll be deleting the picture now?” He teased.
“Not happening, Vox!” I said blushing.
“Then stop complaining. I’m fucking starving. Shall we order breakfast… or will you be my breakfast?” He teased.
“Well—”
Upgrade or Downgrade?
THIRD POV:
Velvette and Valentino watched Baxter assembling Vox. Valentino designed his newest body; months passed before Alastor finally agreed with the final outline.
Vox decided an upgrade suited the style Hells newest generation of sinners represented, sharp and brighter than the originals.
Velvette suggested this upgrade because Voxtek lost viewers. No overlords arose, but the technological aspect has advanced.
Alastor assisted Baxter because Vox, as sinners describe his state, traumatized himself after his unfortunate death by electrocution.
Vox learned about his immortality after attempting… he survived and proudly lives his life everyday with his boyfriend.
“One more wire… remember his setting names and functions! His main program includes sensory stimulation and audiovisual awareness.” Baxter said tapping his screen. “Boss?”
“You included the mute addition, right? I fucking paid extra!” Velvette teased.
“Unfortunately. Your friend endured unimaginable pains from this transfer, please hold insensitive comments for now otherwise he will glitch causing him to slowly deteriorate his gears.” He said.
“Help… I’m hurting.” Vox whimpered adjusting to the electrical currents flowing through his veins.
“Expect the fish secretary to deliver your paycheck tonight, Baxter, goodnight. Velvette and Valentino, you’re dismissed too.” Alastor said. “You’re adjusting, sweetheart.”
“Wait, strawberry pimp, sweetheart I upgraded your wardrobe earlier. We’re losing the sweater and vest because formal clothes are becoming popular again.” She teased throwing him the suit.
“Blue?” Vox whimpered.
“Hell screams blood and diseases; we’re different. Trust us with your everything!” Valentino said.
“Rewrite the slogan, sweetie, and you’re carrying the diseases with your STDs.” She teased.
“Hush! Vox fucking breathe and stop shaking because you’re not weak! You’re already full of electricity, you’re just overreacting!” He said.
“VALENTINO!” Baxter growled.
Vox glitched. Alastor understood the situation before the others, his electrical currents would become stronger as his upgrade required more to operate.
As Baxter already said, glitching causes deterioration so hold off mentioning traumatic experiences and insensitive comments.
“Velvette and Valentino, you’re dismissed. I’m not hesitating calling Carmilla and ordering angelic steal. I heard double-Hell hurts sinners more than your eternal punishment here.” Alastor threatened.
*SLAM*
“Sorry… Velvette fucking coerced me into accepting the upgrade. I honestly never expected the upgrade to cause this much chaos.” Vox whispered.
“Chaos? You’re sensitive. You survived much worse. I honestly love the upgrade… but something inside me loves your old screen more. Possibly because of the memories we created together?” Alastor teased.
“So, Baxter downgraded me?” Vox asked.
“Heavens no! You’re handsome as usual… and more vulnerable than usual too.” Alastor teased kissing his foreheads. “Find your clothes, you’re showing off.”
“Wait? Li—fucking shit.” Vox whispered blushing.
Tied Up
Lucifer:
Father-daughter time, father-daughter time! We’re distant because her mother separated us, but now we’re adults and we’re spending time together!
Charlie sent her location! I’m seeing my daughter and sipping tea under the screaming rain! Praise the ones above because I’m seeing her!
I found the building… a warehouse… and pushed the doors open… now, I’m seeing the dimmed room and the bellhop dangling from the ceiling? Charlie?
“Bellhop?” I whispered blushing;
He dangled upside down and somehow managed to continue looking handsome. His scar stood exposed and legs hanging prissily.
Chains or wires? The wires attached themselves to me and slammed me against the wall. I’m not complaining because this view of the bellhops hot but I’m complaining because this hurts.
“Lucifer! The devil himself, welcome to our humble abode! Unfortunately your daughter declined my invitation, but I captured your friend—” The screen announced stepping forward.
“Friend?” Alastor and I asked together. “We’re not friends, we’re enemies! Stop copying me! You’re the worst fucking person ever! STOP COPYING ME!”
“I CAPTURED THE RADIO DEMON! I CAPTURED LUCIFER HIMSELF WITH THE DUMBEST TACTIC EVER! YOU’RE FUCKING STUPID! YOU’RE NOT WORTHY OF RULING HELL!” The screen growled jumping down.
“I’m not technologically advanced, but I’m confident with what I’m seeing hanging right now. I thought I gawked hard, but you’re horrible! You’re not hiding your kinks!” I teased.
“Kinks? I’m hurting Alastor!” He said.
“Wrong punishment.” Alastor said adjusting as the screen tightened the wires. “Harder… wait? I’m not Angel.”
“Masochist much?” Doll-face said.
“YOU’RE FUCKING GROSS!” I teased blushing as he laughed! ALASTOR FUCKING LAUGHED!
“STOP LAUGHING AND SEE I’M THE BEST SINNER! I’M MORE POWERFUL! I’M YOUR GOD!” The screen screamed glitching.
“Velvette, remember the Marvel Universe comics? Alastor reminds me of the dangling one. The man fighting the goblin.” Moth-man said.
“Demonic Spiderman? I watched the movie, not read the comics before. I designed lingerie after the suit and universe itself. Wanna see?” Velvette asked.
“I’m curious.” I said.
“You’re better off wearing your leisure clothes instead of lingerie.” Alastor said blushing.
“Kinky!” I teased.
“I never imagined the king kinking out with Alastor. I figured angels loved kinks as much as us, but then again, his wife drove sinners crazy.” Moth-Man said.
“WATCH YOUR MOUTH!” I growled.
“Lucifer threatened to Valentino before he signed the divorce papers.” Alastor narrated. “You’re gullible and slow, your majesty. Admit your wife abandoned you and now you’re falling for me.”
“Admit you abandoned the hotel because you’re determined to gain more power. You sold yourself for personal gain.” I said.
“Organized and slow mean two different things.” He teased.
“FUCKING STOP ALREADY! YOU’RE RUINING THE BEST PLAN EVER!”
Blue and Yellow
Vox:
I’m waiting downstairs and Valentino punished Angel for attacking Alastor. We’re together. He decided on becoming the host of Charlie Morningstars bullshit hotel and never told her about us.
I’m not stopping Alastor from gaining power and spending time outside the tower. We’re probably holding him hostage and stopping him from pursing his dreams… totally not upset. I’m his very supportive husband!
“— once everyday and Alastor? You can constantly refuse our services, but please watch your wounds states. You’re neglecting your bootlegged voodoo threads causing you unnecessary and completely avoidable pain. You’re only hurting yourself.” The nurse growled. “And remember to reschedule for next month, dear.”
The whore completely humiliated him and destroyed his microphone thingy. The other whores hid once Valentino flashed his gun.
Before signing the marriage contract, just remember, marry for money, but age conquers. He sheepishly rescheduled and teleported home before Velvette called the limo.
“Fucker… follow him before he causes more trouble.” Velvette said.
••••
Alastor:
“As journalists, you’re allowed to publish the bare minimum before the involved parties choose to disclose the rest of our private information. I’m not commenting more without permission from the other party.” I said heading inside as the reporters continued snapping pictures of Vee Tower.
I stumbled around because I’m waiting on Rosie to repair the staff. Valentino passed through and helped me upstairs because his employee decided to abuse me over me choosing to hide my personal life.
I scratched my head and sniffled; the pain fucking hurt and I’m exhausted. I’m never visiting the other floors without Vox around again.
Charlie will probably reprimand me… Husker better fucking shut his mouth; Niffty, dearest bug, ignore the others and find peace with Baxter.
I’m spending tonight here and praying the princess occupies herself with Vaggie instead of the news.
“Alastor?” Vox asked.
“Save yourself the trouble and leave.” I growled. “I’m exhausted.”
“Alastor, I’m not leaving your side. We’re married and you’re horrible at hiding your personal life… I’m sorry for leaving you with Valentino and you deserve the world already. Please forgive me.” He said.
“Not happening, Vincent Whittman! Stop revolving the situation around yourself and understand I’m hurting, and you’re disturbing me.” I said pushing him.
“Sorry! You’re forgetting your monocle… fuck you’re blinder than me… I’m calling the princess because her golden redemption childs bullshit shouldn’t be tolerated. He shouldn’t be redemptions poster child with this attitude. We’re married, you’re not spying and hurting the princess. You’re the bystander here.” He said.
“I’m not responding. Fucking leave or you’re losing your touching privileges… stop touching me too!” I growled.
“Can you see?” He asked.
“I’m fucking blind, obviously not.” I said. “I see blues and yellows, not much different than what I normally see. You’re blurry. What more do you want to hear?”
“Wrong? You’re standing near your studio.” Valentino said, probably confused and wrong.
“You’re standing outside your fucking room, crybaby dumbass! You brought Alastor to the wrong room!” Velvette growled.
“Blind leading the blind. Alastor, your eyesight sucks ass but you’re seeing purples and yellows… reds and pinks.” Vox said.
“Blue and yellow.” I said.
“Wrong!” He growled slamming his hand against the wall. “Velvette, call the nurse!”
“I SEE DIFFERENT COLORS BECAUSE I’M A DEER! I’M LIVING WITH DEER VISION, NOT A HUMAN OR FUCKING SCREEN!” I yelled.
“Praise Lucifer you understand the struggle because I’m living with moth vision!” Valentino said.
“Clearly.” I said.
What Ships Are We Looking Forward to This Year??? (Will include titles for upcoming posts!)
RadioApple (Tied Up)
RadioStatic (Update or Downgrade?)
StaticMoth (Smile for the Camera)
HuskerDust (Ready for the Stage?)
Voodoo Accident (PART THREE)
Alastor:
Charlie announced before the extermination, I'm handling trust exercises this month because we expected severe damage to the building.
Unfortunately, I’m occupied and Lucifers sins scheduled a last-minute meeting this morning because his Goetia caused issues.
I called Charlie upstairs; he pulled her aside and summarized what happened yesterday. I’m hiding behind the wall, embarrassed too because he teased me again… bastard.
"Your brother punished Alastor for twenty-four hours because he practiced angelic voodoo? I told Alastor about practicing his bullshit here! Stop hiding your boyfriend! Sinners are downstairs waiting for his instructions!" Charlie teased because we’re usually together, not exclusively dating because of his marriage. "You're frowning, fucking smile! I'm rebuilding the hotel! I never met a human before!"
“Humans aren’t much different than sinners? Sinners create chaos and humans create chaos. Sinners are somewhat immortal and humans aren’t. Sinners are powerful creatures and humans are weaklings, see? Found the differences. Process of elimination. Your uncles scheduled this meeting last-minute; I’m not missing this one otherwise Satan… nevermind!” Lucifer growled teleporting.
*SNIFFLE*
Watching her crying hurts. I became her father-figure before even meeting Lucifer… first because he acted clueless around her, strangers are more acquainted.
I remember hearing from her everything. I apologized and became friends with Lucifer… then more. I’m not hurting you on purpose, dear.
“Alastor?”
••••
What happened? Mother? I’m home… right? “Human Alastor! I fucking used chloroform and bagged him!”
“Who carries chloroform everywhere?” Vaggie asked.
“Humans become sinners but sinners never become humans. Redemptions possible but reliving your life’s impossible.” Husker said.
“Not doubting your judgement, but smiles probably redeemed himself and sinned again. He practices voodoo and probably messed with the human-demon timeline. I guarantee the strawberry pimps sleeping upstairs or messing with Luci.” Angel said.
“You’re throwing out serious allegations! Charlie will lose her fucking mind hearing this!” She said.
“WE PERFORMED TOGETHER BEFORE HELL! YOU REMEMBER MEETING ME? HEARING MY STORIES ABOUT ALASTOR! I’M FUCKING MEMORABLE! I’M MIMZY, DAMMIT!” Mimzy growled removing the bag. “SEE?”
Husker stopped complaining and gasped. I blushed from embarrassment; Angel teased me and Vaggie lectured me.
“PRAISE VOODOO! Your emotions are showing and I’m already imagining Vox fucking crashing… you’re handsome too; I’m falling myself.” Angel teased.
“Alastor? What happened?” Husker whimpered touching me. “Fucking shit… you’re human again.”
“OBVIOUSLY! YOU’RE PRACTICING YOUR VOODOO BULLSHIT AFTER CHARLIE WARNED YOU? IM SO FUCKING DISAPPOINTED! YOU’RE NOT WORKING TOWARDS REDEMPTION! YOU’RE LEECHING OFF THE PRINCESS!” Vaggie growled.
“Merde.”
“French? Fucking bend me over already! I’m waiting, daddy!” Angel teased.
*COUGH COUGH*
Charlie smiled and ordered me upstairs before more sinners arrived for the construction.
“Dearest friends and residents of Hazbin, you’re not gossiping or posting about this situation and you’re allowed to visit him; but no murdering him otherwise I’m murdering you. Understand? And Mimzy, you’re not allowed here. Alastor already enforced his rules as the host, please leave immediately.” Charlie said holding her smile.
“Asshole.” Mimzy whispered leaving.
“Much appreciated, Charlie, dear.” I said creeping upstairs. “I’m counting down, twelve more hours.”
“STOP COUNTING!” Charlie growled.
Voodoo Accident (PART TWO)
Lucifer:
Alastor cowered behind the exorcist corpse. He once overheard the history behind Heaven and Hell… what happened before Charlie.
“I’M YOUR RESPONSIBILITY FOR TWENTY-FOUR FUCKING HOURS! READY TO FUCKING WATCH ME?” Alastor yelled.
“I’m responsible for preserving the lands I created for sinners and hellborn, not humans. I’m not watching your ass because you substituted sinner blood for angelic blood.” I said.
“Bullshit. You preserve the other rings. You called us monsters and forced Lilith into power because you hated sinners.” Alastor said.
“Lilith understood I’m stressed and happily reigned over the sinners… her second family.” I said.
“Reigned and left because your marriage collapsed. Your depression and Charlie choosing to follow your footsteps after spending centuries hiding how you hate sinners! I mean… your marriage already started cracking once you impregnated her. Blame Heaven or yourself! You’re following Adams footsteps now.” He said.
“YOU FUCKING MORTAL!” I growled.
••••
“Lucifer, fallen archangel and forced to serve your sinners bearing consequences you caused, you’re responsible for producing Hells heir. God created the second sinner who will bear your child and will continue living amongst your sinners. We assume Lilith will oppose but we’re not responsible for your marriage problems.”
“NOT RESPONSIBLE? LILITH DREAMS OF BECOMING A MOTHER AND YOU’RE INSTEAD FORCING HER TO WATCH ME IMPREGNATE A DIFFERENT WOMAN?” I growled. “LILITH DESERVES MORE THAN THIS BULLSHIT!”
“Your rebellion destroyed a healthy marriage and now your wife will lose her chance, her dream, you once again destroyed. Heavens not responsible for your stupidity.”
“Adam ignored and destroyed their marriage. I saved Lilith and showed her unconditional love, but we’re punished? Punish your first man! You’re biased and believe him. He sin, plural meaning more than one because obviously you’ve forgotten, everyday, we sinned once.” I said.
“We’re addressing his behavior. You created free will after your brothers and sisters warned you and this completely ruined Gods plans for humans. You’re following our rules or we’re damning you a second time, Lucifer.”
“Twice? Bullshit!” I growled.
“LUCIFER! Welcome your surrogate and the Lord personally prayed over your marriage. Goodbye.”
••••
Alastor:
Lucifer cried; I’m watching the fucking King himself crying because of his mistakes. I’m harsh.
I’m using information against him forgetting he dealt with enough problems before. I’m harsh. I’m horrible and deserve this home.
I apologized and trashed the exorcist corpse outside because Niffty loves collecting their blood. I poured and handed him Sazerac.
“I’m dropping everything… stop fucking crying. I learned my lesson and you deserve better… sorry for bringing up the sensitive shit.” I said.
“Serious?” Lucifer whimpered.
“Serious. You’re protecting me though because I’m sensing a picture box lurking around. He smells my weaknesses.” I teased seeing him smile.
“I’m smelling more than your weaknesses… I’m seeing one too.” He teased.
“Gross!” I growled blushing.
NOTE: I’M NOT QUOTING REAL VOODOO RITUALS AND APOLOGIZE FOR MISINTERPRETATION OF THE CULTURE! ALL QUOTES INVOLVING RITUALS AREN’T REAL AND WILL BE WRITTEN LIKE WITCH SPELLS RATHER THAN HOW HUMAN ALASTOR SUMMONED ROSIE!
ALSO, I’M THEORIZING NOT STATING FACTS! ALL ARE FAN THEORIES!
Voodoo Accident (PART ONE)
Alastor:
Extermination number eight ended, I expect thousands more before Seraphim officially stops sinners unfortunate slaughters by exorcists. I smiled and carried the last exorcist corpse upstairs.
“Seraphim and angels watching from above… I found your exorcist. Show your face and end the wretched exterminations before I unleash your evils! Sinners are redeemable and Lilith never carried Charlie! You constantly sin everyday! Show yourselves and prove you’re worthy of living in Heaven!”
I smeared the exorcists liquid gold across the already outlined pentagram and laughed as smoke flowed in the studio.
“YOU’RE CALLING YOURSELVES ANGELS AND FOLLOWERS BUT YOU’RE CHOOSING TO HIDE THE TRUTH AND SIN BEFORE THE WINNERS WHO DEVOTED THEIR LIVES TO THE LORD! ADMIT YOU’RE NO BETTER THAN SINNERS! PROVE YOU’RE BETTER THAN SINNERS BECAUSE YOU CAN ADMIT YOUR FAULTS!”
I smashed her against the ground and tasted every drop… then became lightheaded. I coughed golden blood and found shadows before me.
“Archangels watches sinners everyday; though your sins are redeemable after eternal damnation, you’re pushing your chances, Alastor. Watch your mouth and remember we’re more powerful than Lucifer. We will continue the exterminations and one word about the truth, and you’re next.”
“Lucifer.” I whimpered.
“Your punishment-”
“PUNISHMENT? I’M FUCKING DYING AND YOU’RE PUNISHING ME MORE? CALL LUCIFER! I FOLLOW HIM!” I growled coughing harder and collapsing.
“You threatened and learned private information to defame our righteous land. Your punishment will be living as your human-self for twenty-four hours without your ungodly voodoo abilities. No sinner will recognize you. All sinners will see your weaknesses as you’re not your souls overlord. Survive and you’ll return to normal, die and you’ll succumb to a second damnation to double-Hell.”
“YOU DEFAMED YOURSELVES BY PUNISHING SINNERS FOR LIVING OUR ETERNAL DAMNATION AND DAMNING US A SECOND TIME!” I yelled.
“Remember to pray your twenty-four hour punishment passes fast.”
*SCREECH*
••••
Lucifer:
Alastor? Charlie smiled and ordered her regular with her friends joining the drinking train but I’m hearing screeching from upstairs.
“Majesty? You’re not drinking your juice… something wrong?” Whiskers asked. “I’m the bartender, I hear your problems and you forget I’m human… former human, but I’m carrying burdens too.”
“Bellhops your owner, right?” I asked.
“Obviously. What happened with Alastor?” He asked.
“Screeching… I’m hearing screeching from his studio and I’m worried. I remember hearing this before but I’m forgetful. Chronic depression ruins your memory and living for centuries.” I said awkwardly laughing.
“Understandable but I’m not hearing screeching. He probably found an exorcist and decided to prerecord his broadcast. As Host, he spends more time helping than recording now.” He said.
“Dad, remember the extermination just ended. You’re probably exhausted and hearing the faint screams of the dead exorcists.” Charlie said.
“Probably.” I said.
Sinners headed upstairs or downstairs depending on their rooms; I hurried upstairs. The screeching slowly stopped as soon as I knocked.
Friends soon headed upstairs, exhausted and drunk, to their rooms; I instead raced upstairs to the studio and heard a deafening silence.
*KNOCK KNOCK*
“Alastor?” I asked.
“Charlie, dear, I’m volunteering Husker tonight, go bother the kitten or Vaggi. I’m occupied with more pressing matters than your hotel.”
“Wrong Morningstar, bellhop.” I teased. “Excuse me!For your information, loud speaker, our voices sound completely different!”
*CREAK*
“Hold your comments and judgement for tomorrow night otherwise once this punishments done, I’m releasing all your secrets to Charlie.”
“Your punishments eternal damnation and you’re not fucking threatening your King! You’re not protecting MY daughter! You’re hurting Charlie by attempting to release private information, and you’re ruining your chance at becoming executioner!” I growled as he showed himself… his human-self. “HOW?”
Your Shadow
Lucifer:
Once again, depression fucking bullied me. I forced a smile for Charlie and her friends, Alastor too because he only understands so much of the struggles of depressive episodes.
The last episode, I distracted him and he completely forgot about his broadcasts. I’m horrible; I bothered him. He recorded for hours once I settled.
I collapsed and cried holding myself. Charlie worries enough about redemption and her girlfriend worries about other more important issues regarding the hotel.
I mistakenly assumed sleeping here, around sinners and Charlie would cure my depression… I distracted myself but completely ignored the fact I suffered already for centuries. I’m hopeless.
*WHOOSH*
Hopeless
Hopeless
Hopeless
Warm
Warm
Shadow?
“Alastor?” I whispered seeing his shadow protecting me and purring. “You’re completely different from Alastor… you’re cuddly.”
I smiled; your shadow creepily follows you and only you everywhere, but instead chose me. You’re my protector, forever and ever, shadow-man.
Your purring reminds me of myself, purring because Charlie loved attention and cried everyday over the smallest shit.
“Lucifer?” Alastor asked.
“ALASTOR?” I screeched jumping and pushing his shadow. “I thought you planned on visiting the tailor and broadcasting… but you’re here… watching me and your shadow.”
“Closed early and I’m not motivated. I figured you’d appreciate me choosing to spend time with you instead of hiding… but you’re occupied.” He said.
“Seriously? I’m not distracting or bothering you? I’m your number one priority?” I asked.
“I prioritize you ninety percent of the time and you’re never truly bothering or distracting me. Sometimes I hide on purpose, but this morning, you involved yourself more than normal with the sinners. You hate sinners. You’re under the weather again, aren’t you?” He asked.
“Depression… depression and sicknesses aren’t the same.” I said.
“I suspected right then. Come upstairs, I’m brewing coffee and you can continue cuddling the baby.” He teased.
“Your fucking shadows more affectionate and purrs! I wanna marry him instead! Try becoming more like your shadow!” I teased as he growled.
“Shadow represents my true emotions, Lucifer. I’m basically caring through an imaginary figure… only I see… Lucifer, how can you see him?” He asked.
“King and former archangel, remember? I’m fucking awesome!” I said.
“Sure, your majesty. Just recover sooner this time and remember the shadows mine. I use him for more than showing my emotions.” He said escorting me upstairs.
“Not how depression works, bellhop!” I said.
Story Time!
I remember seeing an account (leaving the username anonymous for safety) asking if characters from Hazbin see Alastors shadow or has Vivziepop only created his shadow so her audience could see Alastors true emotions.
I honestly loved the thought because Vox spotted Alastor during the fight (S2, E4), so I theorize because of Vox’s technological advancements, he sees things normal sinners aren’t able to. Alastor teleports using his shadow. He uses tentacles too, but I feel only certain characters see his shadow. I feel him using tentacles means he brought a figment into reality (imagining an object and creating it out nothing, can’t remember what this is called). If you disagree, I understand, I just thought the question was reasonable and I love the idea because that adds more to Alastor as a character if true.
Remember, just because a theory can be proven wrong or sound farfetched, that doesn’t mean fans can’t have headcannons.
New Year Resolution
Alastor:
Lucifer decided for his New Year resolution to workout because his depressions been consuming him more and more… I’m honestly not sure whats the right wording for his behavior.
I’m fucking freezing. I’m normally not swearing so casually, but Louisiana winters aren’t comparable to Hell winters.
He bounced around Pride; carrying his specialized fire breathing celebration ducky. Charlie celebrates with fireworks using her powers. I learned my district sees the fireworks the best because we’re near the hotel.
Sinners watched as I embarrassedly followed the serpent. I growled and threatened them with my tentacles, scaring them off. I’m the most powerful sinner; but I’m choosing to follow this manchild.
“Lucifer, excuse the confusion, but bouncing around carrying your celebration ducky counts as working out?” I asked seeing my breath.
“Movement counts. We’re climbing your building too because I wanna see Charlie blessing our pentagram sky!” Lucifer said smiling. “After tonight, our calves will be screaming because we worked ourselves to death… again.”
“Hilarious.” I growled.
New Year resolutions suck; you’re setting yourself up for failure creating unachievable goals and you’ll end up procrastinating.
We climbed the building then waited. Charlie blesses, as Lucifer said, sinners on Sinsmas and New Years maninly. Angel remembers Valentino treating his employees better once Charlie started this tradition decades ago.
I kissed Lucifers head and shivered feeling the wind slapping me. “Alastor, you’re freezing! Your antlers are becoming icicles!” He teased acting serious.
“Hilarious again. You’re probably freezing too. I mean blame yourself for suggesting this outrageous date workout.” I said.
“Archangels wings somewhat protect us and proper clothing I see you’re not wearing… ALASTOR! HELL LITERALLY FROZE OVER AND YOU’RE WEARING YOUR USUAL CLOTHES?” He growled.
“Unfortunately.” I said.
“Here.” He growled swaddling then cuddling with me underneath his wings.
I blushed and apologized because winter again never happened in Louisiana, not proper winters at least. Hells temperature dropped within days. Vox reported the change; he only reports important events like me returning.
This morning, Charlie and Vaggie watched the snow engulf the district. Husker and I caught Niffty several times from escaping with rats.
Once Lucifer asked, I immediately agreed because I’m exhausted from handling Niffty; I’m exhausted from hotel duties; and I’m exhausted from living.
“You warmer now?” He asked.
“Yes.” I said.
“Wanna use the fire breathing celebration ducky as a secondary heat source?” He asked as I agreed.
*BOOM BOOM*
“Midnight already? We missed the countdown! Shit! Fucking kiss me, Alastor!” He begged kissing me.
I growled and passionately pushed my tongue inside his mouth. The fireworks exploded more. Our bodies grew hotter… you’re not useful ducky!
“Thanks, Lucifer.” I whispered blushing.
“You’re welcome, Radio.” He whispered.
NOTE: I waited forever for motivation, I already wrote RadioStatic and RadioDust as humans, now onto the next, StaticMoth!
Setting: The 1950s, Vincent runs the entertainment networks and Valentinos requesting an interview to clear his name after accusations from his hometown, Florida.
Before reading, understand this uses stereotypes and assumptions from the 1950s. We understand Vox uses stereotypes on Carmilla and Valentino in season two, so I figured he acted the same outside of the studio in his human life.
Under One Condition
Valentino:
Florida government officials accused me of shooting cabronas everyday. Obviously I’m shooting assholes everyday; I’m protecting myself.
I’m protecting myself from homophobic protestors and officers attempting to force me into psychiatric wards for breathing!
Vincent Whittman, supposedly the countrys leading interviewer and network executive, hosts weekend shows interviewing regular people.
He evaluates guests and considers himself the best modern therapist, and the cheapest. I’m skeptical, but I’m clearing everything. I’m a human. I deserve rights.
Marylands colder than Florida… I’m visiting during winter, but again, Floridas hardly ever freezing. I crept through the studio and found his office,
Vincent Whittman, network executive and president of everything
Cocky. I knocked and waited. I’m nervous because guests sometimes come out embarrassed as he ruined their lives more.
I’m seriously jumping high with this. Marylands cold but safer than Florida. Clean slate and seclusion. I’m considering living here now.
“Yes?” Vincent asked opening the door and gasping. “Fucking Christ, you’re tall!”
“You’re Vincent Whittman, right?” I asked.
“Unfortunately, Sasquatch. You’re blind, right? Read the fucking sign before asking stupid questions. I’m not scheduled for shit, whats the problem now?” He asked.
“I’m not your employee; you’re evaluating me tonight and I’m here beforehand because I’m setting shit straight before your sorry ass fucks me over.” I said as he scoffed.
“Valentino? Nevermind, I hear your accent.” He said welcoming me inside. “What happened? You’re not legal? Homosexual? You’re protesting your rights? I heard everything already and I’m willing to cancel your evaluation tonight.”
“You’re jumping to conclusions too soon. Im fucking clearing my name because Floridians believe I’m shooting cabronas everyday! No evidence, no facts whatsoever! I’m fucking innocent! And I’m out, I’m protecting myself! I deserve rights and I deserve to live openly without fearing for my safety!” I growled.
“I’m cancelling your evaluation.” He said.
“YOU’RE NOT CANCELLING SHIT! I DESERVE THIS TONIGHT! IM A FUCKING UNITED STATES CITIZEN AND I DESERVE THE FIRST AMENDMENT JUST LIKE YOUR PRIVILEGED ASS!” I yelled.
He smiled and adjusted his tie.
“Imagine believing such nonsense and not admitting you’re wrong. I’m not privileged. You’re using your first amendment right now. I’m the executive and I can cancel whatever I please.” He said.
“I’m fucking right! You’re ignoring the truth!” I said.
“Ignoring the truth? I’m not calling the authorities because you’re admitting you’re homosexual. I’m allowing you here again without calling and saying you’re becoming aggressive. I’m acting civil, you gay monster.” He said.
“I’m vouching for everyone suffering from your bullshit lies! I’m not aggressive, you’re just rude and profiting off watching us become more than less! I’m not your fucking pet!” I said.
“I’m powered by business and profits. Obviously I’m not the greatest person alive.” He said.
“You’re losing this business opportunity. Minorities watch your network. We’re profiting you, but imagine me leaving today, your interview becomes shit, and no representation. Now your thousands of viewers leave. Your popularity and approval ratings drop causing your show to be cancelled.”
“Valentino… under one condition. Assist me tonight, before the show.” He said.
••••
Vox:
Valentinos persuasive and entertaining. Sometimes I understand him then I’m confused because he uses island language.
His argument persuaded me to include more diverse interviewees during production. I’m considering just hiring him for diversity purposes and to produce shows for his audience.
I pushed Valentino because I heard the audience arriving slowly. We’re hiding behind the curtains and from crew members.
He buttoned his clothes and kissed my forehead as I blushed. I’m not fucking gay. I’m straighter than him and a pencil.
“Stop fucking touching me.” I whispered wiping my mouth.
“Jealous I’m open and you’re closeted? Accept you’re different, Vincent.” Valentino teased.
“I’m straight!” I whispered.
“Your condition involved sucking me off, you’re not straight. Probably down the middle, you love women and men.” He whispered.
Fuck… down the middle? I’m probably psychotic. I’m the problem with society… am I? I’m confused. He kissed my throat and giggled.
“Breathe, I’m shutting my mouth, but under one condition.” He whispered.
“Yes?” I whispered regretting my decision.
“Meet me tonight, Sunshine Inn, room four, I brought condoms.” He whispered as I blushed.
“Deal.”
NOTE: All fanfics outside the ones I normally write will be green with the ship name included! Just please keep hate comments inside because I’m using the green font to represent ships requested!
The timeline for this story: Angel and Alastor; 1930s; Angel works with the mafia; Alastor obviously kills and eats humans on the side!
You’re Trespassing (RADIODUST)
Angel:
I’m scheduled here, New Orleans, Louisiana. I’m working outside the city, the forests scare me.
I’m from New England (northern U.S) and I’m used to working city jobs, breaking into mafia bitches homes and killing whores for wronging my family.
*CRUNCH*
*SNAP*
I jumped into character; I’m called “Anthony, the northeasts sharpest” because I’m great at shooting and stabbing. I pulled the knife out and peeped the corner of the tree.
Fuck… he carried the corpse, carrying his knife as our eyes met. He scoffed and dropped the corpse.
“You’re trespassing.”
“You’re fucking trespassing! I’m fucking working and you’re killing whores?” I said.
“You’re trespassing. Your accent wreaks of Brooklyn folk. You’re standing on private property, mine, not New Orleans. I’m not your target. Forget what just happened and leave before you become my next victim.”
“You’re not associated with the Louisiana Crocs? I’m fucking confused… and I’m not becoming your next victim! I’m fucking better than your ass! I’m the northeasts sharpest!” I said as he discarded the corpse into the lake.
*SPALSH*
“I misheard, you mean dullest. Fucking leave or you’ll end up swimming with him.”
I charged and stabbed him. Im murdering a normal… regular person instead of who I’m assigned. I’m so dead.
This person… murderous monster… stabbed me and smiled. “Guess you’re sharper than I expected, city-boy, but I’m not standing down.” He said stabbing me.
I growled as flashbacks played. I’m a fucking failure and disappointment. I’m the sharpest, but dad and Molly never cared.
I disappointed our group after bringing him home and admitting we dated. I lost him. I’m alone. I’m the disgrace of the mafia.
I remember Molly forgetting about me and following dad everywhere. I’m proud seeing her grow. Twins bonds are stronger than normal bonds… and I ruined everything.
I dropped and giggled smelling his cologne from the ground. The murderers handsome; thank fucking Christ I’m dying seeing him instead of dad.
“You’re overreacting. I’m carrying the smallest knife and you’re acting like I’m causing a considerable amount of damage.”
“What?” I asked.
“Assuming you’re associated with the mafia based on your accent, all disbanded here and changed locations. Your boss misinformed you, city-boy.”
“What?” I asked.
“Follow me inside, I’m not killing you, I promise.” He said holding his wound. “I’m Alastor, your name?
“Anthony… WAIT YOU’RE FUCKING BLEEDING TO DEATH! FUCKING HELL, I’M HORRIBLE! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!” I screamed.
“Unfortunately. Hungry? Will thighs suffice?” Alastor asked smiling creepily.
I remember now… the corpse missed her limbs. Am I trusting a murderous man… and possibly cannibal? I am starved, and stupid.
“Yes.” I said nervously.
“I’m cooking jambalaya tomorrow, will you be leaving then or sometime later? You’re welcome here as long as you’re not planning on killing me again.” He said as I blushed.
“I’m leaving Sunday. Jambalaya sounds great.” I said.
Deers First Video
Lucifer:
I propped the camera and unraveled the ribbon I’m using tonight. Merry Sinsmas, Lucifer. I chose rosy satin ribbon.
Alastor proposed a deal because I’m adamant about spicing up the bedroom. I’m recording tonight; but I’m not allowed to request this again unless he proposes the idea.
Charlie freaked because an overlord shaking hands with the devil sparks riveting visuals; green voodoo and golden wing symbols.
I apologized and immediately pushed her downstairs because I’m not missing this opportunity. Seeing him through the lens terrified me. He normally destroys the camera, but after the deal, he waited patiently and visible.
“Ready?” Alastor asked blushing and bare.
“I’m adjusting the lighting.” I lied.
“You’re watching me through your picture box.” He growled irritated.
I pressed record and unraveled the ribbon; his smile crooked and ears batted from embarrassment. I’m not normally dominating the deer. I’m fucking lucky tonight!
“Scared?” I asked wrapping the ribbon around him.
“Embarrassed.” He growled scratching his hooves against the hardwood. “You’re seriously torturing me and recording the evidence? I’m two seconds from reporting you.”
I licked his throat and brushed my fingers through his fluffy chest before wrapping him more. He screeched and kicked but I’m stubborn.
“Harder, deer.” I teased.
His cheeks resembled blooming roses and his heart tried escaping him. My boyfriend… sweet Alastor soon Morningstar, you’ve created a monster.
I thrusted inside and heard him grunting as I continued; I eased him into harder thrusts. Virgins can handle two fingers better than him.
I licked his throbbing cock and laughed hearing him become louder. His moaning also resembled deers during mating season.
I slowly engulfed his dripping cock inside my mouth and sucked roughly. He arched, my little masochist loves knowing I suck the soul outta him.
“Lucifer!” He grunted breaking from the ribbon and clawing into the comforter.
Before continuing, I jumped into wrapping his wrists against the posts and spread his shaking legs; this drove me insane.
I started sucking again and thrusted forcefully inside with mine; were properly mating under the mountain of ducks. I claimed Alastor and filled him.
Sweat dripped and our breathing synched. I allowed myself to dominate and I’m proud, but terrified. I’m accepting I’m dead tomorrow.
“Lucifer?” He asked avoiding eye contact.
“Sorry… I miss dominating, you’re fucking sexy too.” I said blushing.
“You’re dominating more. Thanks for suggesting this tonight. I’m exhausted.” He said blushing.
“Obviously. I’m purchasing more ribbon tomorrow.” I teased. “Wanna choose the color?”
“Gold because I’m torturing your ass tomorrow; I’m using the picture box and everything.” He said.
“I figured.” I said.