my (39)mid-life crisis is the most important ever

I love jane but she's mad bc i have a wife?? [[this is a parody blog that's been operating since 2014. no there's no coherent reason why other than i was born an english major and will die an english major god damn it]]

[mredwardrochester]

AITA I (39M) protected my fiancee (18F) from some ugly but totally benign (no, shut up I promise) truths?

EDIT: 1: ugly DMs are unnecessary. My little sparrow has fucked off somewhere else so now I’m unhappy forever so THANKS

EDIT 2: YES I’ve got no bitches since then. my wife keeps setting fires for some reason. 

So, I was dealt a rotten lot in life. I was rich (AND STILL AM, FINE; ADDED FOR CLARITY) Doesn’t matter because I wasn’t the extra specialist boy.

Circumstances happened that forced me to marry a woman from a nation we rightfully colonized (all DMs about this will be blocked) have absolutely nothing to do with my current situation). I’m in love with my employee because she;s kind and intelligent and also has talked to 2 other men– like ever lmao–, so my odds are good imo. I also know women p well and can help guide her. 

But she got big mad about my current wife? Idk it feels like she’s insecure about our relationship even though my “”””wife””””” has been locked in an attic for 15 years? 

idk my gf sounds pretty crazy but she still won’t live in sin w me regardless of the fact that I’m stupid rich (?lmao?). Is she dumb or AITA?

[mredwardrochester]

AITA the love of my life might marry her cousin?

Sure she’s like 19 and I’m 40. but like. come on. guys? 

EDIT: is it normal to smell smoke when you visit your wife’s prison cell. serious replies only I’m starting to choke

[mredwardrochester]

well. hope your happy. Ive got no bitches now.

[mugueteva]

i’ve made quite a few friends on here who like jane eyre, so i thought i’d share my jane cosplay for you all!

it probably isn’t entirely period accurate, but i’m so happy with it, personally!

[mredwardrochester]

what’s the big fuss? my ex had a whole floor to herself. so what if it was an attic? I was tricked into crossing the ocean, courting and proposing to a person, all because of the curse of my immense wealth :( it’s not my fault the current love of my life was a baby at the time

[mredwardrochester]

In response to the allegations

my house parties are great and fun. any and all accounts of screams in the night are because the servants that are lucky enough to work for me are bad at keeping quiet about their nightmares. anyone asking about my attic gets blocked.

[mredwardrochester]

and another thing: any troubled individuals who say I deliberately invited them to my home, wined and dined them, insinuated I wanted to marry them, then immediately leaked a rumor that I was broke so they would ditch me so I could court my employee, are liars and honestly fake as hell probably due to feminine hysteria

[mredwardrochester]

In response to the allegations

my house parties are great and fun. any and all accounts of screams in the night are because the servants that are lucky enough to work for me are bad at keeping quiet about their nightmares. anyone asking about my attic gets blocked.

[mugueteva]

one thing i really wish they included in jane eyre (2011) is the second wedding. they stopped right at the reunion, which leaves a lot to be desired, especially if you don’t know what comes next! the second wedding is my favorite piece of all the symbolism, because as opposed to the first in which mr rochester is anxious and rushing to get it done and jane is entirely confused and there’s just so much happening and so much going wrong, they are entirely content in the second wedding. they take their time, and do not even have any sort of formal take on a wedding, just going to a church only the two of them in their every day clothes, with nobody else to see them be wed. they are content and at peace, but that truly isn’t an understatement. jane holds her ground in the majority of the book past the reunion and it’s beautiful to see them truly meet each other’s needs and, in a sense, really look each other in the eye.

[mredwardrochester]

[mredwardrochester]

do you call jane janey-waney? it seems like you would…

she hates it when this song shows up in my spotify wrapped

[mredwardrochester]

mr rochester, are you… alright?

my house and much of my money burned down but my former employee girlfriend got mega rich when she got mad and left me (because of my wife I was hiding long story no judgers allowed) and now we’re married so

[mredwardrochester]

We love you Mr Rochester

[mredwardrochester]

Blackbeard wants his pirate shirt back

no can do it’s my one token from our night together

[mredwardrochester]

wow. my gig was stolen 7 years after this post was made. mr. steve bonnet square up now

[mredwardrochester]

while she’s taking a smoke

and she’s taking a drag and i’m falling asleep now she’s touching my chest n– waitfuck my bed is on fire shit shit 

[mredwardrochester]

my employee girlfriend saved me it’s all good no worries

[mredwardrochester]

while she’s taking a smoke

and she’s taking a drag and i’m falling asleep now she’s touching my chest n-- waitfuck my bed is on fire shit shit 

[mredwardrochester]

ok roast me. who among us doesnt have an attic wife?

EDIT: OK OK I GET IT STOP I’M CRYGNI

[mredwardrochester]

MASON DNI

[mredwardrochester]

i’ve heard great tale of the mister elon of musk and he ain’t special. the only difference between us two illustrious, wealthy gentleman is that his attic wife is still a secret

[mredwardrochester]

mr rochester sir. how is jane doing? can you give her my number and put in a good word for me btw

jane is so great right now and she's not at all cheesing about this message