now @cultfic

𝗍𝗁𝖾    𝗍𝗋𝗎𝗍𝗁    𝗂𝗌    𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞.

[mrjane-a]

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# 𝐌𝐑 𝐉𝐀𝐍𝐄.        A  WRITING  BLOG  FOR  𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐊  𝐉𝐀𝐍𝐄  OF  𝙏𝙃𝙀  𝙈𝙀𝙉𝙏𝘼𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏.        HIGHLY  TRIGGERING  WITH  MENTION  OF  TOPICS  INCL.  ᴍᴜʀᴅᴇʀ,  sᴇʟғ  ʜᴀᴛʀᴇᴅ,  ᴇxᴄᴇssɪᴠᴇ  ɢᴜɪʟᴛ  &  ᴠɪᴏʟᴇɴᴄᴇ.        NOT  SAFE  FOR  MINORS.        THIS  BLOG  IS  A  REBOOT  &  EXCL.  WITH  𝗛𝗔𝗭𝗘𝗟’S  ᴛᴇʀᴇsᴀ  ʟɪsʙᴏɴ  @martyir.        CONSULTED  BY  𝑵𝑨𝑵𝑵𝑰𝑬.

[mindhunt-a]

i have decided to move holden to a multimuse blog; find me @cultfic

[mrjane-a]

heavy lids shut to the feather light touch of her lips to his skin, perhaps to better focus on her words and the meaning they carry. for all the devious games he's been known to play in his consulting career and the unbreakable front he's shielded himself with for so many years, he's always strived for teresa lisbon's approval. and soon the routine would settle, patrick turning to teresa to gauge her every expressions, decipher the smile in the roll of her eyes, translate the disappointment of her silence, read the momentary admiration in the tension of her jaw. lisbon. lisbon. lisbon. he always returned to lisbon. not angela or charlotte anymore. and he'd seen it AS A BETRAYAL AT FIRST, guilt justifying further self-harm, pushing him away from her, from the team, shutting him from all that could be good.

a sight they are, wiping away memories with every tear rolling down their cheek, exchanging heartfelt promises of love and affection. HOPE FOR TOMORROW. a lazy smile pulls on the corner of his mouth at her retort to the tease he could never resist making after the whole marcus-pike fiasco. layers of pretend self assurance aside, it's pride that justifies the behavior, patrick pleased that he should have been the one to conquer her heart and he reopens his eyes to the shift of his hair on his brow. fiery agent lisbon's always had the touch of an angel. eyes return to the ceiling at her question prompting his instinct to bite down his lip, tense his muscles, seal his mouth. but he has to remind himself he's agreed to be honest, that she more than deserves a truth that the moment's finally called for.

he rubs his eyes and groans lightly to sit upright on the bed, looks to her with a nostalgic half-grin and grips her wrist as he lowers himself from bed to floor, elbows on his knees and back against the bed frame before he gently pulls her down with him. ❝    join me, lisbon.    ❞ how very patrick jane of him to seek shelter in his environment, the secluded space between bed and wall backed by teresa's presence close against him and he shifts his grip to her knee. ❝    you did help. you made it easier for me to chase mcallister. and i don't think i would have wanted you to be there when ...    ❞ for one, devious as he was, RED JOHN might have easily found a way to put lisbon in harm's way only to further patrick's pain. ❝    when i killed him. i don't want you to think of me as a murderer.    ❞ which, by definition, he is one; blood on his hands and the life of a monster man on his conscience hard enough to bear without her witnessing the act. ❝    you helped from the day you stepped between me and steve hannigan and let me look at your files. you've helped every minute of every day since then.    ❞ he wouldn't have asked her to put her career on the line for his sake this time, not when the stakes were so high. ❝    and i called you because ... after all those years it was finally over. it was done. he was dead and in that moment, all i could think of was you.    ❞ YOU. YOU. YOU. always you. he looks back at her with a furrowed brow and a tense jaw. the hand on her knee shifts down her thigh. ❝    what did you ... how did it make you feel, knowing he was dead?    ❞

@martyir. / cont.

[tresalisbon]

Jane taunting serial killers + the consequences

[martyir]

god, she’s tired. she just woke up   [can’t remember the sleep]   and her eyelids are heavy, the lights are too bright, and her tongue is sandpaper in her mouth. there’s a dull pain in her chest too, temporarily sedated by strong medicine, like a low hum beneath everything else. from experience, she knows that one will be the worst of all. but she can’t sink back into comfortable oblivion, not yet, because jane is beside her, alive and unharmed but somehow still worse off.

jane gives her time to get her bearings but it’s easy to guess what he’s about to say, he doesn’t try to hide it. on another day, in another circumstance, this would be a blessing but cold, scared and hurt isn’t what she wants from him. she wants the jane from her last time in hospital. the one that calmed her down and stroked her hair after a nightmare. the one with the softest voice she’d ever heard from him. not this jane, who didn’t have the same value for his life as she had for him, who didn’t recognise she asked herself the same question when she saved him. she can’t begrudge him for the double standards, but she does. a little.

❝ i’m ok, jane. ❞   she manages, every word scratching her throat raw. how long was she out? the last time she drank water feels like years ago, but was likely only hours at most. she’s glad to see there aren’t bundles of flowers and cards clogging up the free space in her room - because she doesn’t want them and it means there hasn’t been enough time to buy them yet.   ❝ i’m still here. ❞    she briefly considers reminding him that she’s been shot before - this isn’t her first rodeo, so to speak - but she doesn’t think he’d take kindly to it, even if it’s only meant to reassure him.   ❝ can you get me something to drink? ❞

[mrjane-a]

she's still there. and she's okay. but despite the words she means to be reassuring, she has to know better. the cracks in her voice don't help and he's still distant as he observes, seeks the signs that would admit to a weakness she'll never voice. THIS HOSTILITY ISN'T FOREIGN to him and she'll recognize it for what it is, but he's rarely ever shown it towards her or used it to purposefully hurt her. perhaps he's just grown TIRED of it all, weary of the lingering cost of their her chosen profession. child or no, he could not bear a life that she wasn't in. he wordlessly stands, picks up her cup and makes for the water fountain, forces a supportive smile on his lips upon his return as he sets the cup on her table and sits back on the chair by her side, approaching it.

❝    what about next time ? or the one after that ? what happens to me and our boy when the bullet hits four inches to the left ?    ❞ decades spent in the void of permanent despair leave a trace, he's forgotten HOW TO LET THE LIGHT IN FOR VERY LONG. ❝    i've lived half my life with a knife in my chest, struggling to even breathe because a voice in my head kept repeating over and over that angela and charlotte had been murdered because of me.    ❞ the harshness of his tone is gone, leaving way for the softest of voice that she'll have to focus on to even hear as his fingers seek hers, snake around her palm to encircle her wrist and patrick squeezes gently.

❝    i don't think i'm strong enough to raise our son on my own.    ❞ of course he isn't. because lisbon's many skills with a firearm mean very little in a situation where she WILLINGLY puts herself in harm's way ... only to save patrick jane. such a foolish, foolish notion. ❝    can you promise me, sweetheart ?    ❞ his brow arches inquisitively, the hand moving to tuck away a strand of hair, delicately rests on her cheek. and he frowns. ❝    if this ever happens again. you don't jump in front of the bullet to save me, you save yourself and you raise our child. because i couldn't.    ❞

[sirgawin]

A ghost. That’s what I am. 

The Devil’s Backbone (2001) dir. Guillermo del Toro

[robintunney]

PATRICK JANE 2x09 → A PRICE ABOVE RUBIES

[geryone]

In Accelerated Silence, Brooke Matson

[greeneway-deactivated20231123]

THE MEN I HUNT DOWN ARE COWARDS. FOR THE MOST PART, THEY TARGET THE WEAKEST MEMBERS OF SOCIETY, WOMEN AND CHILDREN. THERE'S NOTHING I'D RATHER DO MORE THAN PUT THE BASTARDS AWAY.

[mrjane-a]

he doesn’t count the hours but seconds resonate with deafening rhythm as he waits,      blankly stares at the even rise and fall of her chest in the sickeningly clean hospital room.      he wishes he’d fare better in these environments but HE KNOWS BETTER THAN TO TEST HIS STRENGTH and settles with focusing on her.      it’s a little funny that he’s come to develop such a fierce attachment to this fiery law enforcer when he’d sworn he’d never allow himself to GET CLOSE AGAIN for fear of the dreaded consequences       ...      but he’d forced his path into this life and she’d made her way into his heart,      steadily developing into something akin to the profound affection he thought he’d ever only save for them.      AND THERE SHE LIES,      stirring from her rest,      giving ground to his obsolete decision not to open himself to further emotional damage,      silently cursing his own weakness.

[[   BULLET   ]]  ♝  @martyir.  lisbon takes a bullet for jane. literally.

the sternness in his face leaves little room for the expression of relief,      nor will he admit that he’s spent the last twelve hours by her bedside,      anxiously AWAITING THE FIRST SIGNS OF CONSCIOUSNESS as he sits upright,      drags his gaze along her form,      gives her space to collect herself.      ❝    putting yourself in the line of fire is one thing    ...    ❞      he’s argued against it,      of course,      BUT HER MIND IS HER OWN and her will unshakable when she wants to,      and for all of jane’s pleas that she quits,      he knows she’ll never be able to    ...    not without eventually hating him for it.      his tone is unusually cold,      lids heavy,      a state she’d witness on a case back when they were still hunting RED JOHN and failing.      ❝    but doing so just to save my life is something else entirely.      teresa    ...    what if you had died and i was left to live with it ?    ❞

[toadmemes]

* 400 RANDOM DIALOGUE PROMPTS (READ MORE) ,

"i never noticed your eyes were this pretty."

"i'll stay in tonight, thanks."

"i can't even trust myself anymore."

"anything to eat around here?"

"i hope to repay your kindness someday."

"you're a terrible flirt you know."

"the only time you talk to me is when you need something."

"how did you find me?"

"how can i possibly trust you? after all you've done."

"i take orders from your father, not you."

"you're not a very convincing liar."

"i thought i'd never see you again."

"why can't i come with you?"

"it was my fault. it was all my fault."

"all this anger and hate, it's not good for you."

"this is the part where you apologize."

"is being drunk an excuse?"

"let me out of here! let me go!"

"aren't we in a good mood today?"

"i was making sure you weren't dead, since you never called."

"there's nothing left for me here."

"i know i lied to you. you can hate me and it's all right."

"i've been waiting for you for a long time."

"what happened? i heard a crash."

"was it you? did you do all this?"

"don't come any closer!"

"looking for something?"

"you're too scared to do it, aren't you?"

"i thought you'd like this."

"you came back!"

"i like seeing you smile."

"i must warn you, i won't go easy on you this time."

"it's better to expect disappointment."

"sorry to put you through that. i guess i owe you one now."

"no way, i'm not doing that."

"it's you! you came for me."

"could you be happy here with me?"

"let me buy you another drink."

"why should i trust you?"

"he's only mostly dead."

"knowledge is power."

"i screwed up. i know."

"we're going to have to stay here tonight."

"help me choose something to wear?"

"i do care."

"i'm sorry, i'm not what you think i am."

"how many more people need to die before you're satisfied?"

"you scared me."

"just try to hang on."

"i risked my life for you!"

"two years later and you haven't changed."

"we're not so different after all."

"i need you to trust me."

"why are you being so stubborn?"

"you don't scare me."

"i'm scared of what you're becoming."

"you look like you just saw a ghost."

"that's quite a scratch you've got there."

"i've always hated it."

"this is the part where you leave."

"don't treat me like a child."

"you were talking in your sleep."

"what are you doing out here by yourself?"

"wait. i've heard that sound before."

"would it be alright if i borrowed this?"

"i think i have a bit more experience with this thing than you do."

"it's not stealing if it was mine to begin with."

"it's nothing personal."

"you were going to leave without saying goodbye?"

"i'll still be here when you wake up."

"don't you fucking dare!"

"you're lucky you're cute."

"it's too dark, i can't see anything."

"i swear it wasn't me."

"that is not an appropriate question to ask a lady you've just met."

"i've got your back, okay?"

"how long have i been asleep?"

"just who do you think you are?"

"i think i might've broken something..."

"i wish you'd take better care of yourself."

"is this what you wanted?"

"what do you want in exchange for it?"

"did you miss me?"

"i'm trying my best and it's not good enough."

"it's not safe for people to see us together."

"don't lie to me."

"i see a lot of myself in you."

"take a seat, we're gonna be here a while."

"i won't hate you. i know you think that's what you deserve but it's not."

"who do you fight for?"

"it's rare to see your kind around here."

"walk with me?"

"i know you better than you think."

"why did you bring me here?"

"what did you want to tell me?"

"you don't even know my name."

"it's nothing, i'm just tired."

"of course i care. you're my family."

"i didn't tell you because i was afraid... of losing you."

"where is my candy, you son of a bitch?"

"you want me to punch him in the face?"

"please... say something."

"who the hell invited you?"

"we need to be careful."

"i just wanted to say i'm sorry."

"we're locked in!"

"don't be naked. i'm coming in."

"do you ever get afraid?"

"you wouldn't understand."

"promise you'll say something if you need help?"

"where have you been?"

"there was blood everywhere."

"i just need to step away for a bit, get some fresh air."

"we're safe, aren't we?"

"how about a little midnight snack?"

"how many people have you killed? how many?"

"whatever you're going to ask, the answer is no."

"you look... amazing."

"this isn't just about you. it's about what's best for all of us."

"you owe me a dinner. a very nice dinner."

"in about a minute, you'll be sorry you didn't listen to me."

"i wish we never met."

"you're late."

"we all have secrets, don't we?"

"i know i have a right to be angry, but i don't want to be."

"i see you don't recognize me. well, it was a long time ago."

"you showing up here must be fate."

"some risks are worth taking."

"you've been so quiet. what's on your mind?"

"you must be lonesome over here by yourself."

"you're very kind. some day it'll get you killed."

"this seems... dangerous."

"snap out of it!"

"have you been following me?"

"you can't or you won't?"

"how long have you been standing there?"

"i'm sorry i didn't come sooner."

"we can't keep going on like this."

"i don't need your help."

"i think i'm getting sick."

"i know who you are. i know what you've done."

"please tell me you have a plan."

"i just wanted to see you smile again."

"can i ask... what happened?"

"tell me it's not true. please."

"would you run away with me?"

"don't look at me like that."

"wow, look who remembered my existence."

"why are you really here?"

"have a drink with me."

"life is about more than just surviving."

"treat me like the princess that i am!"

"it's a gift. i had it made for you."

"thank me after we get out of this alive."

"you're not human, are you?"

"are you kidding me? we're not 'fine'!"

"they're better off without me. but i guess that's their choice."

"are you lost too?"

"come on. it can't be that bad."

"i don't like this. it feels... wrong."

"will you stay with me? just for tonight."

"can i help you?"

"you don't need to protect me."

"you can't leave me here alone!"

"you can stay with me."

"quick, this way. before they see you."

"i think the power is out."

"did you ever care about me?"

"did you hear that? it sounded like a scream."

"being strong doesn't mean never asking for help or admitting you're in pain."

"i'm here to drink alone."

"i did warn you not to trust me."

"you could've just used the door."

"you know, i really hoped i'd never see this place again."

"nobody tells me what to do."

"why can't you tell me what's wrong?"

"i'm really not one for crowds."

"don't be so dramatic."

"something's coming."

"i just wanted to do something good for once."

"you don't have to shout at me!"

"forget about me. just save them."

"it's fine. nothing i haven't dealt with before."

"i guess it runs in the family, huh?"

"this isn't our fight. it's my fight."

"do you ever stop being so serious and dull?"

"i heard you were dead."

"i'm going to get you out of here."

"that's a terrible story."

"here, take this. you'll catch a cold."

"you slept with her, didn't you?"

"i had my suspicions, but until now i wasn't sure."

"evacuate the civilians, i'll buy you some time!"

"he was unconscious when i found him."

"you don't have to hold my hand."

"i'm not leaving you."

"you're not getting away this time."

"you're clearly not okay so stop bullshitting me."

"i would give my life to keep you safe."

"do you want me to go?"

"trust me, these people are not your friends."

"i guess it's my turn to thank you."

"i bought two. here."

"i need to go. i can't be here."

"it's four in the morning. what are you doing?"

"do you ever stop talking?"

"it's not going to be easy, you know."

"well, how do i look?"

"are you threatening me?"

"you can never admit when you're wrong!"

"may i have this dance?"

"he knows more than what he's telling us. much more."

"we can't fix this. can we?"

"count me out."

"i don't know. shut up. i'm not blushing."

"let go of me! i have to help them!"

"i won't let anyone hurt you."

"do you ever hear yourself?"

"i've never had any sort of family before."

"you look better in my clothes than i do."

"i'm still learning."

"oh, i get it. you're trying to weasel your way out of having to practice."

"death is a part of life. i accepted that a long time ago."

"you see everyone so clearly except yourself."

"is this seat taken? sorry, it's a bit crowded here."

"what are you smiling at?"

"we're in completely different leagues."

"what if i never see you again?"

"we should get a pet."

"don't touch me. get away from me."

"i want to be there when you get what's coming to you."

"i'll believe it when i see it."

"you're lucky that i found you when i did."

"you're not dating anyone, are you?"

"you're not alone. i'm here."

"i never want to see you again."

"we can just sit here, you don't have to talk."

"i could show you the way."

"do i frighten you?"

"i didn't realize you were in so much pain."

"well, this is where i live."

"i'll be here. when you're ready to talk."

"you refuse to tell me where you're going?"

"i've seen you before, walking by."

"was that a friend of yours?"

"i'll make you bleed."

"wait. did you hear that?"

"i'm not even going to pretend to understand what you're talking about."

"i made a mistake."

"why don't you just kill me?"

"it's a lullaby. would you like me to sing it to you? would that help you fall asleep?"

"i already made my decision, you're not going to change that."

"i thought you... i saw you get shot."

"take me with you."

"you look awful. what happened?"

"you knew and you didn't tell me?"

"you shouldn't insult people that are bigger than you."

"how about you let me show you around?"

"i'm just saying, murder is an option."

"what's that smug look for? you think you can do any better?"

"for some reason, i'm attracted to you."

"you defeated it? alone?"

"i didn't want you to see me like this."

"don't go. please."

"how do i know you're real?"

"rough day today?"

"seriously, what is that thing over there?!"

"i'm not sober enough to talk about this."

"you should've thought about that before you got into a fight."

"you like this, don't you? i remember you saying that."

"what now? i'm tired."

"it won't be easy, that's for sure."

"watch what you say. the trees have ears."

"can you forgive me?"

"just let me do this for you."

"why were they coming after you?"

"why are you talking like we'll never see each other again?"

"why did you help me?"

"would you like something for the pain?"

"why did you come?"

"you snore in your sleep. it's adorable."

"i'm glad i could share this with you."

"just admit it. we're lost."

"well, don't stand there in the rain. come on."

"i really thought you were gone this time."

"if you tell me yours, i'll tell you mine."

"are you... smelling me?"

"i have a spare bed."

"your plan's gonna get us all killed, and you know it."

"find someone else to listen to your problems."

"i promise i'll never hurt you again."

"where do you think you're going?"

"it appears my trusting nature got the better of me. it's happened before."

"how did you get this scar?"

"you stepped on my foot!"

"i'm not sorry."

"i don't know how you do this every day..."

"what did you wish for?"

"there's no turning back now."

"see? i'm not just a pretty face."

"i'm on your side."

"do you remember anything? at all?"

"you don't know who i am, do you?"

"please don't do this, don't act like you care."

"i just want to take it all back."

"am i not good enough?"

"i won't let them hurt you."

"i'm fine, let me see your arm."

"why can't you let me in? what are you so afraid of?"

"this is wrong."

"none of this would’ve happened if you had just listened to me!"

"don't run away from this."

"you wanna know what your problem is?"

"so why's it so important anyway?"

"i'm not here to talk about my feelings."

"close your eyes and hold out your hands."

"seems like i'm always saving your ass."

"let me help with that."

"you know you aren't allowed in here, right?"

"don't shut me out. please."

"fine. i'll help you but you have to help me."

"i don't need you to understand, i just need you to help me."

"i have to do this alone."

"i'm not talking to you when you're like this."

"i don't need you anymore."

"why did you wake me?"

"how many times have i told you? you can't visit me here."

"jealous? i'm not jealous!"

"this place is cursed... i can feel it."

"you need to stay still."

"i've been to many strange places... but this is a new one."

"dangerous to be out so late."

"don't make me go by myself."

"i can't leave you alone for one minute, can i?"

"we're wasting time."

"you... don't like me very much, do you?"

"i would never lie to you."

"give me one good reason why i should believe you."

"i'm not sure what i'm supposed to feel."

"you're about as intimidating as a butterfly."

"no more lies, no more secrets."

"do you wanna get out of here?"

"what did they do to you?"

"i don't go away if you ignore me."

"you don't know when to give up, do you?"

"i can't help you unless you talk to me."

"what was that for?"

"you can't just come into my life and go right out of it. i won't let you."

"think of it as a compliment."

"did you want to be alone?"

"who did you piss off this time?"

"you'll be no help to anyone if you run yourself into the ground."

"stop trying to figure everything out. just focus on now."

"are you saying you care about me?"

"i did what i had to do."

"what? no witty remark? nothing clever to say?"

"i don't think we're supposed to be in here."

"they have us surrounded!"

"i've come for you."

"promise me?"

"why are you looking at me like that?"

"you'll always have a home with me."

"i never meant to hurt you."

"i believe you."

"let me see that."

"you can relax. we're safe here."

"you have to go somewhere safe."

"we've been through a lot. i think we should just lay low and take it easy."

"when was the last time you ate something?"

"we have to leave, now!"

"i need your help... and you need mine."

"i wasn't flirting, i was being friendly."

"change isn't easy."

"there has to be another way."

"i don't care what they say about me."

"you've lost a lot of blood."

"you don't give a shit about me."

"you want me? here i am."

"i never wanted to hurt you."

"it's very rude to stare."

"i don't often get the chance to talk to someone like you."

"if you have something to say, spit it out."

"when was the last time you slept?"

"i can't do this without you."

"you're such a fucking coward."

"i'm not drunk enough for this."

"i hope you haven't been standing out in the cold this whole time."

"i wish i could hate you."

"why are you still here?"

"you're hot when you're angry."

"are you going to kill me?"

"i don't have a plan, but we'll figure it out."

"we can stop them. i can help you."

"i don't feel so good."

"promise me you won't overreact."

"is... that my shirt you're wearing?"

"you look like you need a hug."

"what do these symbols mean?"

"you can't decide what's best for someone else."

"i guess i should've told you."

[mrjane-a]

ashstfu​:

*lying* why would i lie

[tresalisbon]

[mrjane-a]

ʀᴇᴅ     ᴊᴏʜɴ     is     𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆.          by     nannie.